Chapter 36: A Moment's Peace

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Osman felt the full weight of the summer heat on his shoulders as he spent time with Mehri Banu Hatun in the palace garden. The vast garden of the palace was filled with the shade of fruit trees, offering a sense of peace. A gentle breeze carried the scent of roses through the air, while the chirping of birds and the distant sound of a fountain seemed to call Osman to relax. Yet, even in the midst of this enchanting scene, Osman could not escape the weight of his thoughts.

Mehri Banu was carefully weaving daisies with her delicate hands, creating a small work of art with each stitch. From time to time, she glanced at Osman, noticing his silence and absent-mindedness. Osman's eyes were fixed on the fluffy clouds moving slowly in the distance, but his mind was in a much more complicated place.

"Am I truly a good sultan?" Osman had asked himself this question so many times that the uncertainty of not having an answer gnawed at him. The modern ideas from his university days often clashed with the rigid traditions of the time. "What can I do for the welfare of my people? But what if I make a mistake? What if everyone turns against me?" These thoughts kept Osman from sleeping at night and took away his peace during the day.

The throne he inherited from his father, Ahmed I, was not as magnificent as it appeared from the outside. Inside, the resistance of the conservative factions, power struggles, and the shadow of ongoing revolts made Osman feel as if he was suffocating. "I must do something. But what if, even if I do the right thing, the people do not accept these changes? What if my reforms only lead to more chaos, and people turn against me?" These questions had become a lock in Osman's mind.

Mehri Banu, noticing Osman's silence, smiled gently and watched him.

"Does such deep thinking suit a sultan, my lord?" she asked softly and kindly.

Osman smiled faintly at her words, but the shadow on his face did not immediately disappear.

"A sultan must think constantly for his people, Mehri Banu. But sometimes even these thoughts are exhausting," he said, his voice firm but weary.

Mehri Banu, placing the flower crown she had woven on Osman's head, spoke:

"Sometimes, life is about savoring the small moments, my sultan. Perhaps you should stay here, in this moment, for a while."

Osman's thoughts, momentarily distracted by Mehri Banu's words, were soon overtaken again by the voice of the modern Turkish youth inside him. "How are the villagers in Anatolia doing? How did the timar holders react to my reform proposals? Are their soldiers loyal to them or to me?" These questions were like chains on his mind.

Mehri Banu, seeing the deep concern on Osman's face, tilted her head slightly.

"What's wrong, Osman? You seem troubled..."

Osman took a deep breath, looked down for a moment, then turned to Mehri Banu and confessed his anxiety.

"I feel like something is wrong, Mehri Banu. But sometimes, I fear that these responsibilities will swallow me whole. That's why, moments spent with you help me breathe."

Mehri Banu gently held Osman's hand and looked at him with reassuring eyes.

"Remember, you are not just a sultan, but also a human being. If something is wrong, you are the one who can fix it. But right now... you deserve a little peace."

Though Osman found some solace in Mehri Banu's words, a deep unrest remained inside him. "Do I truly deserve this peaceful moment? While the people of Anatolia are working in the sweltering heat, how can I sit here like this?"

As the day faded into evening, Osman looked at the horizon once more and made a promise to himself:

"I will bring peace to my people, so I can deserve peace." But behind that resolve, there was a fear. How much bloodshed would this goal require? He did not yet know the answer.