Reincarnated as the novel's villain

As I closed my eyes, I found peace surrounding me. There were no more regrets, no more pain, and no more sadness.

I could feel myself reliving everything that I've gone through in my life—the memories that I cherished, the friends I made, the people that I loved, and the people I've lost, the mistakes I made, the choices I regret, and the chances I missed—all in front of my eyes.

I could feel all the different emotions hitting me like a tidal wave, but then, the next second, everything became calm, serene, and peaceful once again.

If I had to describe this feeling, I would only say one word - liberating.

I knew I had made many mistakes, and I knew there were still people who loved me, cared for me, and would miss me after my death. But in that moment of calmness, I wanted to forget everything.

This peacefulness has never been experienced in the last few years of my life.

When I was alive, I wanted to feel pain and misery, and I wanted to be alone because I deserved it.

Some people left me, some gave up on me, and some were whom I ignored—but despite how hard I tried to punish myself, some still stood with me, supported me, and cared for me—Aaya, Ali, Aarvi, Ria, Queency.

These people helped me without asking for anything in return, and I was grateful for that, but now I regret not saying that to them. Had I been a little more honest, I could have told them—I could have told her—that I needed you in my life and apologized for my mistakes. Or a simple thank you, but I will not have a chance now.

As the memories in my head began to become hazy, I started losing myself in that darkness.

If anyone asked me what I wanted now, my answer would be that I wanted time to stop there. I wanted this peace to last forever.

I wanted an eternity of this numb darkness where I could not feel anything.

I closed my eyes and left myself floating in the darkness, as I enjoyed the peace.

But when has anything in my life ever gone according to my wishes and what I want?

I did not know how much time I was lost in this darkness. It could have been a moment, a day, or an eternity as I hoped, but suddenly I started hearing voices around me, breaking out of my calm sleep.

I could not understand what they were saying. I started looking around to determine the source of that voice, but I could not find anything except darkness; I stopped trying to look. I was hoping that my voice would shut up and I could go to sleep again.

However, as I tried harder to ignore everything, the voices started getting louder and louder.

I could make out some words of what the voices were saying:

[Wake up]

[Why is not he waking up]

[Why has not anyone from the church arrived yet] [the priest is here]

I was trying to close my eyes again when a loud flash, a crack, started forming. I could see the pure white light radiating through it, pushing the darkness away. I could feel myself slipping toward that crack, and as I passed through, I could see the darkness before I tried to swallow that light.

I was wondering what was happening when I heard voices again.

[Is something wrong with my son]

[Will brother be okay]

[He is fine, he just needs rest now]

Son and brother. As I heard these words, the memories that I thought I had forgotten when I came here started coming back to me. Memories of my family are back on earth with my mother and my lovely little sister Ria.

(It has been a long time since I heard her voice in my head)

That was the last thought I had before the light completely blinded me, and I could feel myself again.

It was a strange sensation, as in the darkness, I could not feel anything—not myself or my surroundings.

But now I could feel the wind touching my face, and I could feel someone holding my hands.

I tried feeling my eyes and was hoping to open them, but then a pain came, attacking my brain. It was not as bad as getting hit by a truck, but it was not something to scoff at either.

I clenched my fists and tried to suppress them. Migraines were not something I was new to. I had them every time I had a panic attack or after waking up from my nightmares, but this was more than that.

If the pain of getting your body completely wrecked by a truck was 10 and the panic attacks were 5, then this headache would be about 6 or 7.

I was thinking like this, waiting for the pain to be over, but then I heard a clicking sound, like something was breaking. And like some trigger or chain reaction, it kept echoing in my head repeatedly, like someone placed my head on an anvil and was now hammering it constantly. I thought I was finally going crazy.

I tried to cover my ears, but before I could, the banging stopped. I tried to take a deep breath to calm down, but then the headache started again, and this time it was worse, much worse than before.

(it broke the pain scale and went far beyond a 10)

After what felt like an eternity to me, the pain stopped, and the peaceful darkness again surrounded me.

After that, just like before, the different feelings and memories started to play in front of me. I relaxed and started paying attention.

But as I continued to watch, I noticed something different from before: these memories, these feelings, they were not mine.

The scenes rolling in front of my eyes portray the story of someone else's life.

They were that of a 10-year-old kid named Aish Floren.