Chapter 55: Outcome

Sylvester pov

The coach eventually stopped the two-on-two match, his whistle cutting through the gym's buzz. I could see the disappointment etched on his face as he surveyed the group. He had gotten just as into it as the rest of us, but he realized that most of the team wasn't getting any real training in.

The final score ended up being a loss for Drew and me. Had the game gone on for its full time, we might've been able to turn the score around. I curled my hands into fists, feeling the frustration boil inside me. If only I hadn't been so weak-kneed. If I had just trusted myself a little more, maybe we would have won.

Drew sighed and wandered off to shoot baskets on his own, his shoulders slumped. I felt a pang of guilt, knowing that he had been counting on me. 

"You did great out there, Sylvester!" Wilt said as he and Natasha approached me, their expressions bright with encouragement.

"Did… I?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper as I fought back the urge to cry. It felt like I had let everyone down, especially Drew.

Natasha nodded, her smile warm and reassuring. "Yeah, well, more so during the final quarter. Try to remember how you felt throughout the match."

I stared at my hands, the rough texture of the gym floor beneath my feet grounding me. How I felt? Well, all I could think of during most of the game was how I didn't wanna disappoint Drew, but then... I blinked. When did I stop thinking of that? I know I gradually just played for myself, and even that subsided over time.

I had moments of clarity when I could see the game unfolding in front of me, where I felt a sense of freedom and flow.

I closed my eyes, trying to navigate through the fog of my thoughts. I wanted to be that player who could rise to the occasion, who could take risks and embrace the challenge. But fear had held me back early on, whispering that I wasn't enough. The thought wrapped around me like a heavy blanket, suffocating any spark of belief I had in myself.

I opened my eyes and looked at Wilt and Natasha. They were both watching me expectantly, and I felt a mix of gratitude and shame. They believed in me, and yet I felt like I was still stuck in this cycle of insecurity. How could I continue to let them down?

"I guess I just… I don't know how to shake this feeling," I admitted, my voice shaking slightly. "It's like I'm caught between wanting to prove myself and being so scared of failing that I freeze up."

Natasha stepped closer, her expression softening. "It's okay to feel that way, Sylvester. You're still learning. Just remember that every player has their struggles. What matters is how you grow from them. You showed a lot of heart out there."

"But what if I'm just not cut out for this?" I confessed, my voice barely above a whisper. "What if I never get better?"

"Then you keep trying," Wilt chimed in, his voice steady. "You're not alone in this. We're all here to help you improve, and you've already shown you can do it. Just look at how you played in that last quarter! You found your rhythm, and it's only going to get better from here."

I took a deep breath, letting their words sink in. Maybe I wasn't destined to be perfect, but I could work on being better. The idea of embracing the process rather than fixating on the outcome began to resonate with me. 

"I guess I just need to keep reminding myself that it's about growth," I said slowly, looking up at them. "Not just the score."

"Exactly!" Natasha smiled, her eyes sparkling with encouragement. "Every time you step on that court, you have the chance to learn something new about yourself. Take it one game at a time."

As I looked at my friends, I felt a flicker of hope igniting within me. The fear wouldn't disappear overnight, but maybe I didn't have to face it alone. I had a team that believed in me, and for the first time, I realized that I could believe in myself too.

"Thanks, you guys," I said, my voice steadier now. "I'll work on it. I want to take that next step."

"Good! That's the spirit!" Wilt exclaimed, clapping me on the shoulder. "Now, let's go train!"

"Huh? Is your ankle feeling better now?"

He gave me a thumbs up and a nod.

Natasha put her hands on her hips. "Let me be the judge of that. Go sit back down on the bench."

He sighed. "Okay. Doc Nata."

I snorted. 

Natasha shook her head at him but couldn't help but smile as she trailed him.

Wilt. He pushed himself a lot, but for him it wasn't only victory he wanted. He genuinely loved the game. If one day he wasn't able to play again, that would be the worst.

As I made my way to grab a ball to train with, I noticed Loxus striding toward me. The confident swagger in his step was unmistakable, and I could feel a knot form in my stomach. I wasn't sure what he wanted, but I could guess it wouldn't be anything encouraging.

"Hey, Sylvester," Loxus called out, his voice dripping with a mix of mockery and bravado. "Nice job out there. Really. You almost looked like you belonged on the court."

I forced myself to meet his gaze, trying to stand tall despite the unease creeping in. "Thanks, I guess," I replied, unsure how to respond.

Loxus stepped closer, a smirk playing at the corners of his mouth. "You know, for a while, I thought you were just going to be another nobody. But that last quarter? That was something. Maybe you've got a little fight in you after all."

I narrowed my eyes, unsure if he was being sincere or just trying to play mind games with me. "What's your point, Loxus?" I asked, my voice steadier than I felt.

"My point is," he said, leaning in slightly, "that if you really want to make it in this game, you need to stop being so scared. You can't just hope for a lucky shot. You've got to want it, and you've got to take it."

I felt the heat rise in my cheeks. "I know that," I shot back, my frustration bubbling to the surface. "It's not that simple."

Loxus raised an eyebrow, clearly enjoying the exchange. "Oh, I think it is. You've got potential, but you're wasting it being all timid. If you want to be someone, you need to step up and take what you want, not wait for it to be handed to you."

His words stung, but they also ignited something inside me. I may not have liked Loxus, but maybe he had a point buried under all that bravado. "And how do you suggest I do that?" I challenged, crossing my arms.

"By not letting me or anyone else intimidate you," he replied, his smirk fading slightly to reveal a more serious tone. "You've got that fire in you. You just need to let it out. Show us what you can really do next time."

Before I could respond, he turned on his heel and walked away, leaving me standing there with a mix of emotions swirling inside. Part of me wanted to dismiss him entirely, to shake off his words like water off a duck's back. But another part couldn't help but reflect on what he had said.

Maybe I needed to embrace that fire within me, to challenge myself to push past the doubts that held me back. The idea was terrifying, but also exhilarating. I took a deep breath, feeling a sense of resolve begin to build. With my friends' support and even Loxus's unexpected challenge, maybe I could find a way to truly believe in myself.