CHAPTER 30

Jimin scrolls down his gallery, pictures of the previous years bring alive memories he had forgotten with his boyfriends. He rolls his body to a side, and with a long sigh lets the phone on the night stand. As he gets under the covers, Jimin swears someone knocked the door, very softly. Nobody comes in, perhaps his imagination has played tricks on him. I sleep more."Oh, sorry. Did I wake you up?" a voice asks in a whisper. "I can wait -""Yoongi?" Jimin mutters, resting his back on the headboard to catch a look of his face. The warm light from the hallway illuminates his face and part of Jimin's room. Jimin stretches his arm to open the small lamp. "No, I was about to sleep—come in."Yoongi slowly slides the door closed. He tiptoes to the bed and takes a seat on the end of it with his legs crossed."Uh, we don't have to talk right now if you don't want to, or if you can't."Yoongi—and probably all of his boyfriends—have noticed the bag under Jimin's eyes. Yoongi's heart aches as if someone has punched it multiple times. Shit, it's all my fault.Jimin takes a deep breath. "I was waiting for you to talk to me. Actually, for a moment, I thought you would never do it."Yoongi sighs and runs a hand through his hair. "How could I not? I know I've been acting like a dick these last few days. I'm so sorry." he keeps his tone gentle. "I've finally understood everything. I mean, I had a long talk with Jungkook.""You- you did?" Jimin's mouth is slightly parted. "When?""Yeah, earlier today. But," he pauses, playing with his fingers, "if you don't want to forgive me, I understand. You don't deserve to be treated the way I treated you. I think we," he bites his lower lip and lowers his head. "We should give each other a break."Jimin stays silent for a moment. "What? Why? I -""I," he takes another deep breath, "it took me a lot of courage to come in here and talk to you. I can't forgive myself for the way I treated you that day. You shouldn't, at least not yet. I don't deserve it, Jimin.""Yoongi -""No, I mean it. I treated you like shit. I yelled at you. I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have blamed you for something you've never done. Whatever's going on in Jungkook's world, you can't control it.""Yoongi," Jimin whines, tears threatening to fall. "I - I don't want to separate myself from you. Let's talk, I - I'm sure we can fix this."They stare at each other, both of them with starry eyes. Jimin sniffs at the lack of Yoongi's words. He doesn't want to let go. He doesn't want to give up on him."Are you willing to forgive me? Even after I put the blame on you? Even after I treated you like shit?" Yoongi's voice shakes and wipes the tears streaming down his face."Bae, how - how did you feel? What was going on inside your mind? Why did you never talk about it with me? I'm not mad at you, I - I just don't understand what's going on inside your mind. I don't know how - how you feel nor what you think ... I just took my guess and called you insecure—I shouldn't have said it. I just assumed you were insecure and that's also wrong. We - we both made mistakes.""But you were right: a part of me was insecure. I've never thought you could fall for someone else that's not us, but what if you do? I don't know if I can take it—unless we all fall for him, but that would be," he shivers, "weird, foreign."Jimin shakes his head rapidly. "No—I won't. I'm all yours and you're all mine."Yoongi waits a moment to talk. "So, do you forgive me?"Jimin nods and moves closer to him. "I do, but if there's a next time, please talk to me. Don't take guesses and fill your mind with nonsense.""I'll. I promise." Yoongi intertwines his pinky with Jimin's and places a kiss on top of them. "Also, I promise I won't yell at you never again."Jimin squeezes their pinkies and then removes his to hug him. He inhales Yoongi's scent and more tears roll down his cheek, his heart losing half of its heavy weight as Yoongi hugs him back as tight as he can. They stay like this for a while, tears mixed with giggles, melting in the comforting embrace of their arms, their chests colliding.Jimin is the first one to pull away, holding Yoongi's hands on top of his lap. "Bae, I've a question." Yoongi hums. "What did you talk about with Jungkook? What did he say? He ... he doesn't like me, right?"Yoongi smiles, his gummy smile full on display. "No, he doesn't like you in that way," he ruffles Jimin's hair and caresses his cheek briefly. "I can't tell you right now, but I promise you'll know someday. Who knows, perhaps you already know."Jimin narrows his eyebrows, but Yoongi can't tell if it's because of his wide smile or his words."That means you're friends?""Uh—kind of? Just say we're on good terms.""What about Tae? Will he talk with him as well? It worked with you, he can try it with him." Jimin says brightly.Jungkook's and Taehyung's situation is starting to get out of hands."Yeah, well, I don't know if that's possible. Taehyung ... he's a special case. Bae, if you want to, I can let Jungkook know, but he's the only who can chose what to do with him.""Please," Jimin almost begs. "Hold on—why are you so secretive about this? Did Jungkook say something weird?""He said interesting things. When the time's right, bae, you'll know. Okay?" his sweet voice almost makes Jimin fall for—what he considers—a horrible excuse."Why do I have to wait for a right time? Shouldn't we all have the same right time? We're all in this mess together, what's the difference?" he pouts, hoping Yoongi will actually give in and tell him everything.Yoongi chuckles and moves next to Jimin, pulling him to lay down by his side. They keep facing each other, Jimin with a pout and Yoongi with a grin."Trust me and don't worry. Everything's okay." Yoongi's words don't fully convince Jimin, but he drops the topic.Yoongi embraces him and Jimin sighs in relief, finally everything's over—kind of. Jimin bites his lower lip, considering telling Yoongi what happened on the balcony with Jungkook and Tiger, but he decides not to as he doesn't want to ruin their moment. He can always talk with Yoongi tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after."Bae, let's never leave each other's side." Yoongi mutters in a deeper voice, his eyes blinking close. "I can't live without you ... my life, no, it wouldn't be the same without you.""Never." Jimin yawns, burying his head closer to Yoongi's chest.