Chapter 26

— "Ten enhanced explosive, five paralyzing, ten blinding, a couple of barrier, four sensory, and two dozen modified explosive seals, please."

After counting the named seals, I stacked them neatly into a pile and wrapped them in chakra-insulating paper, handing them over to another jonin and receiving a quite decent sum.

— "Goodbye," I bid farewell with a customary bow, watching the buyer leave and returning to my interrupted task — designing new merchandise for the shop.

At the same time, five clones were doing exactly the same thing, currently stationed right in the warehouse to avoid transporting them far. In general, it was another day off, most of which I spent behind the counter, allowing Saya a couple of free days.

Considering the lack of a huge influx of customers, I had plenty of free time, mostly spent replenishing stocks or training chakra control and elemental transformation, unwilling to just idle away. However, such diligence had other reasons — when my mind wasn't occupied, various thoughts started swirling, sometimes leading me to somewhat unpleasant conclusions.

A recent conversation with Setsura, quite concerned about my mental health (Saya had simply gotten used to my obsession with training and work to the detriment of everything else, and had even caught a bit of it herself), made me look at my actions and plans somewhat differently.

From a neutral point of view, such "workaholism," especially combined with constant use of shadow clones, did indeed look somewhat unhealthy even compared to seasoned veterans with their numerous quirks, let alone for a guy of my age, albeit a local "genius." Simply put, after learning more from mom about my daily schedule, Setsura became worried (a consequence of close communication with Yamanaka) and decided to rectify the situation.

Naturally, without much success, but it made me think. Indeed, among all the shinobi I know from our clan and allied ones, no one has even come close to my achievements even without using clones. And these are people who devote most of their free time to self-improvement (not counting the lazy Nara).

There's something to think about. And if earlier I justified it with the need for rapid strength gain without sacrificing basic quality, now that excuse no longer holds — currently, I am superior to the vast majority of chunin and a small number of full-fledged jonin. And this isn't just my opinion; it's Mito's assessment, whose judgment is simply undeniable. If anyone, she wouldn't lie or exaggerate my achievements to curry favor.

But even this wasn't the main cause for concern. It was just somewhat unpleasant discoveries, which could be attributed to the peculiarities of the world. No, what shook me the most was something else. After a long delve into my own motivations, existing aspirations, and desires, I realized a bone-chilling fact.

For such a lifestyle, more precisely, for rapid growth and development as a shinobi, I am willing to sacrifice even existing relationships with the opposite sex, let alone interactions with other acquaintances, friends, and women, including having a family, except for Saya. And this is already a pathology not even characteristic of brilliant obsessed psychos like Orochimaru.

It makes one think. Fortunately, even such realization somewhat reassured me by its very fact — if I am capable of understanding and accepting all this, then perhaps I can "correct" it. Maybe.

That's when the psychology books I read some time ago turned out to be useful. Sorting out during long meditations the roots of such a situation and its primary causes, I had to admit that memories of a past life and a well-established personality became the main reason.

Coming from a technological world and encountering manifestations of the supernatural only on TV screens and in numerous imitators like movies, books, and games, it's quite difficult for a normal person to comprehend and accept a new reality so different from the everyday norms instilled since childhood and throughout life.

Simply put, even if you're the most brilliant genius and powerful talent, you can't jump dozens of meters into the air or run freely on water and walls even after the most monstrous training. The same goes for lifting multi-ton blocks and creating fire storms with a simple breath. Spot.

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