Horikita Suzune SS: Conflicts, Contradiction and Confession

*BUZZ* *BUZZ* *BUZZ* 

'It was him again, wasn't it?' I thought to myself as I picked my phone up to check my notification. 

Kamado Yuta, if you asked my opinion about him during the first day of school, the first and only thing that would come up from my mouth is 'worthless'. Yet nowadays if you ask me what my opinion about him is, I would say he is....well I don't really know what to say.

He contradicted my whole view I had establish on him during the first day of school. We went from strangers to 'friends'. He is my only friend I have and maybe the only one I will ever have. He is calm and collected, handsome, strong, smart, tall, caring...well the list could go on about how he is. He feels almost too perfect.

He is similar to my brother yet in comparison to my brother he never push me away from him. On the contrary, he tries to help me form bonds with people even though I told him that I didn't care about relationships and that I am used to being alone. He is annoying yet annoying in a good way. 

It was weird, it felt weird. He once asked me what what we were and the only thing that came to my mouth was 'acquaintance', maybe it was my mentality or maybe I was afraid, I didn't know. I remembered he laugh when I said 'acquaintance' and then he told me something. 

I don't remember what but I remember he said something. However what I remembered was with what he ended his part of the conversation. 

"...and that's why I love you Suzune" This one sentence alone was weird and made me feel butterflies. 

Did I hear him correctly? I asked him what he meant, and repeated the same sentence again to me "I love you Suzune"

On the day of his confession, we were both alone in the class at that time. If any other person told me something like that, I would have just ignore him and move on with my life. I came to this school, to walk on my brother footstep and to become a great mage, not to have a romantic life. 

Yet when I came back home, the only thing that was in my head was the 'I love you'. I thought this feeling that I felt at that moment would be gone by night but it only strengthen. 

And on that day, for the first time in my life, I masturbated myself. As weird as it may sounds, this was the first time I have ever touch myself there sexually, only Yuta was the one who touched me there. It was mostly thanks to my martial art classes which trained us a lot in self control that I was able to push my sexual needs away from me. 

I masturbated so much that I felt unconscious and overslept. 

And even when I was able to fall asleep the next day, the only thing that I was dreaming was me and him having hardcore sex or him raping me. In all of my dreams I look so...submissive. It felt weird just imagining myself like that, yet that's what my body desires and wants to do. 

Even in classes, everytime he talks to me during lunch, I just feel so submissive like I am his pet or slave. 

"AHHHHH" Why is this happening to me? I know this guy for less than a month and the only things that comes to my mind when seeing him is sex. 

Is this what love feels like or is this just my desires? Maybe it is love, I never felt like this before. It was only after his confession that I started getting this kind of feelings and thoughts. 

He did say he love me right and that he wants to help me. Maybe I should talk to him about what I have been feeling. Maybe I should try to do it one time with him, so that I don't explode with lust. 

FUCKKK!!!WHAT SHOULD I DO???

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Author note//

Short chapter lol, next chapter will probably have a lemon or maybe two idk and then it will be back with the plot. Most lemons will be as from volume 2, I want to use this volume mostly for world building and power system. Different power, different rule and a few different exams. 

Hope you enjoy it.

Also if you are wondering what Yuta sent, he basically sent 'goodnight'