Chapter 10

"Doctor, please let me in. Please!" Croaked the older boy, cheeks stained with dried tears. He immediately zoomed toward the front of the room when the door opened, only to be held back by two nurses that exited. The doctor in question was inside, back turned to him, not even sparing him a second glance.

From the tiniest crack left ajar, he could spot the back of two gloomy figures; Beomgyu's parents. He could see several other bodies in white coats, all surrounding the bed situated in the middle of the hospital room. He could make out voices—some murmured, some hushed, some laced with agony, others apologetic.

He was able to make out strings of words from their hushed conversation, all devastatingly fragmented— 'coma', 'too late', 'low chance', 'waking up'.

At the back of his mind, Yeonjun had already assumed the context; but his heart was fighting against the resolution with its all. There's no way. He'll be fine.

Yeonjun was hysterical now, hopelessly clawing at the door handle, trying to slide it aside. The hospital reeked of antiseptics, lights too bright, voices too muffled—or was it just his consciousness that was beginning to fade away?

The nurses holding him pulled him back even further, and had it not been for the fact that he'd been crying for the past several hours, Yeonjun would have very easily outsourced their combined strengths.

But a delirious, sleep-deprived Yeonjun was very convenient to drag away. He could only let out a defeated sob as he was pulled backwards and carelessly dropped onto a random seat in the waiting area. As the female nurse left, the younger nurse out of the two turned to him, crouching to meet his eyes. "Are you a relative?"

Yeonjun lightly shook his head, a hand wiping his tears. "No, but I'm his best friend.''

Only when he looked up did he realise just how young this nurse was—a teenage male, fresh out of adolescence, looking like he was no older than a high schooler; eyes big and clear as they gazed at him questioningly. Even in the middle of his hysteria, he couldn't help but stop to question. How can a teenager this young become a nurse already?

"You should go home and get some rest, you don't look well. His parents are here to look after him." The nurse flashed him a sympathetic smile, to which Yeonjun instantly noticed that the boy had dimples. "Did you eat? I can get you something. I know it's hard, but I'm sure he'd want you to take care of yourself instead of crying like this."

Yeonjun had no idea how this nurse knew all the right things to say, but a knot in his heart slowly came undone. He felt like he could breathe just a little bit easier now, his lungs a bit clearer as he leaned back against the seat with a meek nod.

The young nurse then disappeared to a nearby vending machine, returning with a tuna sandwich and a bottle of water too soon for Yeonjun's liking. He could only accept with an ashamed mumble of thanks.

"It's no problem," said the nurse. To his surprise, he sat himself down next to him instead of turning to leave. Yeonjun looked up to meet his eyes. "I'm Soobin. I know you're probably wondering why a nurse looks so young. I think we're about the same age, I just help my father around after school—he's a surgeon at this hospital. I usually just help with minor errands in the pediatric wing, but this one was sudden and no one else was free."

"So you're a high school student who's a nurse part-timer?" Yeonjun asked as he took a bite out of his sandwich, the tangy flavour of tuna sharp on his tongue. His lack of appetite almost made him recoil, but fought against it as he remembered to be polite for the free food.

The nurse named Soobin just nodded. "Yes, I'm just in high school. Weird, I know. But I find it very fun and interesting… What about you?''

"I'm Yeonjun. Today's supposed to be my first day of high school." Then, he gulped with difficulty, like he'd just remembered something more. In a shaky low voice, he continued. "Our first day."

Soobin's face dropped. "I'm sorry to hear that."

Yeonjun just blinked, face void of any emotions. He felt too hollow to conjure an appropriate response. "How is he in there?"

It was now Soobin's turn to go stale. "He got hit right in the head. My dad said severe nerve damage to the cortex and the cerebellum. His brain right now is almost entirely dysfunctional, they were able to salvage the part responsible for his consciousness. But he's alive. He's breathing."

Yeonjun let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. The relief was cut short, because the next time Soobin spoke up, his breath yet again caught in his throat.

"But his body is in a persistent vegetative state. He can't move, speak, or do anything at all, basically—there's little to no brain activity, and zero stimuli. The surgeon—my dad said there's very little chance of recovery... But his auditory perception was able to be saved, out of all things. He can hear."

It felt like the world paused as Yeonjun tried to register Soobin's words. The sandwich in his hand almost dropped to the floor, had it not been for the other boy catching it for him.

"In other words… Your friend is in an indefinite coma."

Yeonjun felt all air knocked out of his lungs.

How did it all happen? In such a short time, how was he somehow able to lose him? Where did he go wrong?

Then, he realised.

I should have never let him go.

Once he got the call from Beomgyu's parents asking him where he was, Yeonjun left his family gathering and bolted straight to the park. The scene he was met with, he could not erase out of his mind for the rest of his life, no matter how hard he tried.

Thankfully, the ambulance was already there, and Beomgyu was pushed away into the back. Yeonjun had never seen him look that small before, both literally and figuratively. Beomgyu's presence had always been the epitome of loud carnival rides and soft beanies. However, laid on the stretcher bed he remembered the way Beomgyu's body curled into itself, dried blood caked to his hair and an oxygen mask equipped to the lower half of his face.

The rest felt like a fever dream. Yeonjun couldn't even recall how he got to the hospital—did he board the ambulance? Did he run all the way? Did he phone Beomgyu's parents and they later picked him up?—because the last thing he remembered was sobbing in front of the emergency room for hours until the sun rose.

Had he fallen asleep then? If he did, Yeonjun would have wished to wake up in the comfort of his own bed, reaching for his phone to check and see Beomgyu's good morning text—their normalcy. Anything at all to signal that this was all just a nightmare.

His disappointment was immeasurable when he lifted his head several hours later, and he was still crouched on the floor in front of the ER.

"Yeonjun-ssi." The gentle voice of the nurse pulled him back into the bitter reality, and Yeonjun snapped out of his reverie. "Eat up, and go rest. His parents are still inside. Once they're done and my dad leaves, we can go in."

The thought of finally getting to see Beomgyu again was enough incentive for Yeonjun to devour the rest of his sandwich; although with every bite he tasted bile. Yet, Soobin was right about one thing—Beomgyu would want him to take care of himself. Therefore, he will do it.

Less for himself, and more for the younger boy. "Doctor, please let me in. Please!" Croaked the older boy, cheeks stained with dried tears. He immediately zoomed toward the front of the room when the door opened, only to be held back by two nurses that exited. The doctor in question was inside, back turned to him, not even sparing him a second glance.

From the tiniest crack left ajar, he could spot the back of two gloomy figures; Beomgyu's parents. He could see several other bodies in white coats, all surrounding the bed situated in the middle of the hospital room. He could make out voices—some murmured, some hushed, some laced with agony, others apologetic.

He was able to make out strings of words from their hushed conversation, all devastatingly fragmented— 'coma', 'too late', 'low chance', 'waking up'.

At the back of his mind, Yeonjun had already assumed the context; but his heart was fighting against the resolution with its all. There's no way. He'll be fine.

Yeonjun was hysterical now, hopelessly clawing at the door handle, trying to slide it aside. The hospital reeked of antiseptics, lights too bright, voices too muffled—or was it just his consciousness that was beginning to fade away?

The nurses holding him pulled him back even further, and had it not been for the fact that he'd been crying for the past several hours, Yeonjun would have very easily outsourced their combined strengths.

But a delirious, sleep-deprived Yeonjun was very convenient to drag away. He could only let out a defeated sob as he was pulled backwards and carelessly dropped onto a random seat in the waiting area. As the female nurse left, the younger nurse out of the two turned to him, crouching to meet his eyes. "Are you a relative?"

Yeonjun lightly shook his head, a hand wiping his tears. "No, but I'm his best friend.''

Only when he looked up did he realise just how young this nurse was—a teenage male, fresh out of adolescence, looking like he was no older than a high schooler; eyes big and clear as they gazed at him questioningly. Even in the middle of his hysteria, he couldn't help but stop to question. How can a teenager this young become a nurse already?

"You should go home and get some rest, you don't look well. His parents are here to look after him." The nurse flashed him a sympathetic smile, to which Yeonjun instantly noticed that the boy had dimples. "Did you eat? I can get you something. I know it's hard, but I'm sure he'd want you to take care of yourself instead of crying like this."

Yeonjun had no idea how this nurse knew all the right things to say, but a knot in his heart slowly came undone. He felt like he could breathe just a little bit easier now, his lungs a bit clearer as he leaned back against the seat with a meek nod.

The young nurse then disappeared to a nearby vending machine, returning with a tuna sandwich and a bottle of water too soon for Yeonjun's liking. He could only accept with an ashamed mumble of thanks.

"It's no problem," said the nurse. To his surprise, he sat himself down next to him instead of turning to leave. Yeonjun looked up to meet his eyes. "I'm Soobin. I know you're probably wondering why a nurse looks so young. I think we're about the same age, I just help my father around after school—he's a surgeon at this hospital. I usually just help with minor errands in the pediatric wing, but this one was sudden and no one else was free."

"So you're a high school student who's a nurse part-timer?" Yeonjun asked as he took a bite out of his sandwich, the tangy flavour of tuna sharp on his tongue. His lack of appetite almost made him recoil, but fought against it as he remembered to be polite for the free food.

The nurse named Soobin just nodded. "Yes, I'm just in high school. Weird, I know. But I find it very fun and interesting… What about you?''

"I'm Yeonjun. Today's supposed to be my first day of high school." Then, he gulped with difficulty, like he'd just remembered something more. In a shaky low voice, he continued. "Our first day."

Soobin's face dropped. "I'm sorry to hear that."

Yeonjun just blinked, face void of any emotions. He felt too hollow to conjure an appropriate response. "How is he in there?"

It was now Soobin's turn to go stale. "He got hit right in the head. My dad said severe nerve damage to the cortex and the cerebellum. His brain right now is almost entirely dysfunctional, they were able to salvage the part responsible for his consciousness. But he's alive. He's breathing."

Yeonjun let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. The relief was cut short, because the next time Soobin spoke up, his breath yet again caught in his throat.

"But his body is in a persistent vegetative state. He can't move, speak, or do anything at all, basically—there's little to no brain activity, and zero stimuli. The surgeon—my dad said there's very little chance of recovery... But his auditory perception was able to be saved, out of all things. He can hear."

It felt like the world paused as Yeonjun tried to register Soobin's words. The sandwich in his hand almost dropped to the floor, had it not been for the other boy catching it for him.

"In other words… Your friend is in an indefinite coma."

Yeonjun felt all air knocked out of his lungs.

How did it all happen? In such a short time, how was he somehow able to lose him? Where did he go wrong?

Then, he realised.

I should have never let him go.

Once he got the call from Beomgyu's parents asking him where he was, Yeonjun left his family gathering and bolted straight to the park. The scene he was met with, he could not erase out of his mind for the rest of his life, no matter how hard he tried.

Thankfully, the ambulance was already there, and Beomgyu was pushed away into the back. Yeonjun had never seen him look that small before, both literally and figuratively. Beomgyu's presence had always been the epitome of loud carnival rides and soft beanies. However, laid on the stretcher bed he remembered the way Beomgyu's body curled into itself, dried blood caked to his hair and an oxygen mask equipped to the lower half of his face.

The rest felt like a fever dream. Yeonjun couldn't even recall how he got to the hospital—did he board the ambulance? Did he run all the way? Did he phone Beomgyu's parents and they later picked him up?—because the last thing he remembered was sobbing in front of the emergency room for hours until the sun rose.

Had he fallen asleep then? If he did, Yeonjun would have wished to wake up in the comfort of his own bed, reaching for his phone to check and see Beomgyu's good morning text—their normalcy. Anything at all to signal that this was all just a nightmare.

His disappointment was immeasurable when he lifted his head several hours later, and he was still crouched on the floor in front of the ER.

"Yeonjun-ssi." The gentle voice of the nurse pulled him back into the bitter reality, and Yeonjun snapped out of his reverie. "Eat up, and go rest. His parents are still inside. Once they're done and my dad leaves, we can go in."

The thought of finally getting to see Beomgyu again was enough incentive for Yeonjun to devour the rest of his sandwich; although with every bite he tasted bile. Yet, Soobin was right about one thing—Beomgyu would want him to take care of himself. Therefore, he will do it.

Less for himself, and more for the younger boy.