Flowey the Matchmaker
"Well, hiiii, Saaaaaansy! Sansy, Sansy, Sansy." Flowey bopped his petaled head around as Sans climbed down the stairs.
"So. This is like the second time you did this tonight. And. I still don't know how I feel about the first one. So. You better have a real good excuse for doing that," Sans said, "or out the windowsill you go. And it's already getting super, super cold."
"I want to take a walk," Flowey said.
"A what?"
"I want a walk. I'm a flower that moves. Before bed, I want a walk."
"Okay, out you go." Sans grabbed Flowey by his pot. "Enjoy the windowsill and watch the snow."
"Hang on! In exchange, I'll give you advice on humans you won't find in books," Flowey added quickly. "Come on? They are kind of funny creatures. A walk in Waterfall. And, I'll even give you one advanced tip before we go?"
Sans looked toward the windowsill. Hm. "What tip?"
"Go upstairs, knock on your bedroom door, and tell Frisky that you understand she's shy and that while you're gone, she should feel free to get her PJ's on." Flowey winked. "Cause I guarantee she's already dressed anyhow. Make yourself look good."
"Huh?" He didn't get it.
"Trust me. Human women are beyoooooond shy of their bodies. Probably due to the lack of protection everywhere else. While Frisky does have DETERMINATION, I think she's done enough in less than 24 hours for you. Agreed?" Flowey asked. "Come on. If you don't start off well, your marriage could really suck."
Sans made a slight groan but did as Flowey said. "You better be right about this." He knocked on the door and said the exact same thing Flowey said to, and climbed back down.
"There. Good. Now, if you weren't so pressed for time, I would say give her a week to get used to that. But, give her 48 hours?" Flowey stressed.
"Why?" Sans still didn't get it. "Shouldn't be ashamed. I don't care. Heck, Alphys wears nothing but a labcoat. She'd take it off any old day." He touched his own coat. "I could take these off any old day too. Whatever."
"Yeah, tip one? She's not a Monster. Humans are shy." Flowey groaned. "You should know that by now."
"But I'm not . . ." Was this flower really right? "But part of the reason you even do that is, you know. Personal signs you'd never hurt each other. I know some Monsters like her tender flesh but I'd never hurt her. I mean, that's what-."
"Yeah, I know what you're thinking," Flowey said. "It's Monster marriage, she should feel comfortable in certain ways with you after the Soul bearing. This is kind of disrespectful of her, yada, yada. Well, it doesn't work that way perfectly with humans! There are different things to it, Sansy. Human and Monster Marriage are very different. The way you approach them is different."
"I . . . I don't get it." Was he really on the up and up? "The longer we take, the more she'll think something's wrong."
"No, she . . . ugh. Fine, before bed, tell her to be prepared for tomorrow night then?" Flowey said. "I still suggest 48 but whatever. At least 24 is something. Now, let's go! I need my walk."
-----------------------------
Sans took a shortcut to Waterfall, half feeling like an idiot. He was taking advice from Flowey. But, the flower did have experience with girl humans. Something that was kind of rare.
"Warm, warm, warm, warm, warm."
Oh yeah, downstairs probably got too cold for it. Well, maybe . . . maybe it could stay with either him or Papyrus at night. If it really proved itself to be good. "Okay. You better have good stuff, and no more than a few minutes. I don't want to leave with just Pap guarding the house too long."
"Fine. Tip one. Open the bathroom up to your wife and son. They are humans. They need groomed, and cleaned, and I doubt she really wants to deal with having to wait to get teleported there all the time. It's their new home. Make it feel like it."
Oh yeah. They did have to do that, and it would be a much less prisoner feeling if they could do that on their own. "I can do that. It's just always been like that."
"Yeah, it was her . . . hiding place. Anyhow. Good. Tip Two. Women like flowers. Monsters and humans, all women."
"Well, I'm holding one right now," he joked.
"Not me, not flowers like me!" Flowey complained. "Pretty flowers. In a bouquet. And I know the kind Frisky likes the most." Flowey gestured around him. "Get some small echo flowers for her, wrap the stems together, and give them to her."
Uhhh? "That sounds weird. They just repeat random stuff."
"Just, trust me. Frisky will love echo flowers. If she doesn't, don't listen to any more of my advice."
Sans shrugged, put Flowey down and grabbed a few small ones. He reached in his pocket and fished out a Grillby wrapper. He tied them together with the Grillby wrapper. "Like that?"
Flowey winced. "You know what? It's you, so fine."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing." Flowey sighed. "Last but not least. Frisky is human and as horrid as it is to Monster's ears? Tell her she can sing."
Sans didn't look as ready to try that. "You heard that stuff?"
"Tell her to sing soft. Soft songs," Flowey said. "You might be surprised how well you can handle it. But, humans have been denied song creation nearly five hundred years. Humans love it, so put up with it."
" . . . can't I just get her some Monster Music?"
"No, let her sing! Monster Music is all beats."
"Great beats."
"There is no words to it. She needs to sing. Sing! She probably won't even sing in front of you, just let her know she can sing. You don't want her to feel unwelcome, do you? If you want her to really feel like home is home, then you better make her feel home. She never could sing anywhere except her cell. Why do you think you find them all over MP's? It's the only way humans get them. Plus, it gives her DETERMINATION. And, well, let's face it," Flowey snickered. "You're gonna need that, aren't you?"
"Okay, walk over. Anything else?"
"Yeah. When you hand her the flowers, say it's to 'welcome her to her new home'. Now, I guess, off back to the cold. Ugh. I can't believe I have to do this for you, Chara," he muttered.
-----------------------
"Hey! Hey, Babe!"
Hmm? Frisky got up from the bed and looked out the small window. Oh, not him. How did he know where she was at?
"Come on, Babe! Come on? Talk?" Conner insisted from outside. "At least share some food? I'm starving. You're not a prisoner anymore, right? Please? Help? You can't ignore a call for help, right? Not my sweet girl."
Frisky rolled her eyes, grabbed her tiny emergency astronaut candy and headed downstairs. She didn't need simple food now that she wasn't FRISK anymore. She opened the front door. "Here. Here is some astronaut candy. I can't give you anything else, Conner."
"Nothing else? Body temperature's really low out here." Conner breathed into the air, showing off his breath. "A man could freeze to death out here."
"Well, you should leave Snowdin."
"Or?" Conner winked. "You look pretty warm in those pajamas. You could always help warm me up?"
Pathetic. "Go find shelter. It's not going to be here."
"You can sneak me in the back?"
"No. Get out of here and go find shelter. I mean it. I know you have an MP."
"Aww. But, Frisky?" He breathed in his fingers. "Okay, but I'm not real far away, alright? After all, I heard you married a Monster." He winked at her. "That means you're still going to have to warm up with a man's real flesh to stay satisfied."
Frisky didn't even answer that as she shut and locked the door.
"Damn. One day I am going to get her." He chuckled as he walked backward a bit. He turned around with the astronaut candy and ran straight into a short, funny looking little Skeleton. "Uh? Coat and shorts at the same time? Oh yeah, you're the little puzzle guy."
"Uh, human?" Sans shrugged. "Didn't know if you knew this? But, that's my wife you just said that about? Okey dokey? So. Let's not say that again."
"Oh. Yeah." Conner looked up to the window. "I mean . . . of course, Sir. I'll just be on my way."
"Probably a good idea." Sans closed his eye sockets. "Probably a real good idea. Probably a better idea not to ever come back either."
"If you haven't figured it out yet," Flowey chimed in. "That's your signal to run before he opens his eyes. Moron."
"Nah. No, wait." Conner waved his finger at him. "You're Sans the Skeleton, I remember now. Someone's gotta be like LV 19 to fight. I'm not that at all," he said confidently. "Judge me if you like, I'm just level one. I'm PACIFIST. Never hurt a Monster."
"Pretty sure you should still run," Flowey chimed again.
"Oh yeah. Yeah, I forgot all about that. I don't lift a finger until someone who commits GENOCIDE rolls through." Sans shoved his bony hand in his coat pocket. Feeling his empty bottle of catsup he flung it out.
"Out of catsup? I could go get you some."
"Well, what a great guy you are, huh?" Sans opened his eye sockets and they were completely dark with no sign of light.
"I told you," Flowey said. "Stupid human."
"Uh? Something wrong? Look, I don't want to fight." Conner put his hands up. "Really."
Sans closed his eye sockets again. "Hey, hey. You know what? Sounds great. Except that life for me has kinda changed, pal, and the last thing I need is someone skulking outside my home. And hey, I think my brother agrees. Right, The Great Papyrus?"
"Right!"
Conner turned and saw Papyrus behind him. "Oh. Hey? Hey there. Both Skeleton brothers, huh? So, aren't you the one who tests humans through puzzles too?"
Papyrus stared at him roughly. "Human. Prepare yourself!"
"Yeah, Papyrus isn't really that sweet until after you do the puzzles. And, I'm not a big ball of candy over here either, pal. I mean, I've got to get my new wife pregnant in a short amount of time, she's not even comfortable with me seeing her naked yet, and you're saying you want to take her away. Not a ball of laughs right now."
"Yeah, that?" Flowey said looking up at him. "That's a Monster way of talking about that! Frisky's not gonna be happy you said all that to him. And don't share it down at Grillby's either. She really wouldn't like that."
"Eww. I mean. Oh," Conner said quickly. "Yeah, uh . . . it's not my fault though, you know? Babe, I mean Frisky?" He chuckled nervously. "Uh, yeah, she is the one who opened your door for me. So, you know, she's partly at fault. I can't help it if I'm good with women, can I?"
"Ooh, you are painfully stuuuupid," Flowey groaned.
"Frisky isn't at fault," Sans said. "She opened her door of her home to someone she thought needed some help. Because, that's Frisky. And you knew that."
Conner held his hands up. "Yeah, that's of course your business. Whatever magic you gotta do to shell out a kid with a human. Um, so which way out of Snowdin? Cause um?"
"This guy has clearly never been in the Underground." Flowey sighed. "And I am not repeating that same phrase again. Ever. So. Look, you idiot human! They never pulled you into an encounter. Just run and don't come back. Seriously, don't come back. This is not a good time to play around with these guys."
"Oh? Oh!" Conner finally ran away.
"What a bonehead, a complete and utter bonehead!" Papyrus complained. "Where did you go, Sans?"
"The pet needed a walk," Sans said. "Don't worry, just a few minutes." He trotted back into the house and set Flowey back on the table. "Just tell her 'welcome to her new home' with them, right? You better hope this works."
"It'll work. Just watch."
----------------------
All of this seemed really strange. Was the flower leading him to doom or success? He had proved himself helpful before, and even told him the truth about Frisky being in the Underground. Is this really right? I mean, echo Flowers just repeat stuff they catch. Plus, if she liked them, she already had an echo wreath with no muttering from Toriel. And if I tell her she can keep hiding her body, then that's just going to make her feel more ashamed of it. And that's a horrible way to start this marriage thing.
He shook his head. Why were humans so ashamed of their body? He wasn't ashamed of himself. He was just bones. Alphys wasn't ashamed. Most Monsters weren't ashamed. Clothes were more of a personality attribute. The only reason he even bothered with clothes like his coats and shirts was because he always had them too. Ever since he could remember there were just tons of coats, shorts, and silly white shirts.
And the bathroom. Flowey had paused there for a second when he spoke to him. A hiding place. Why did she need a hiding place back then? Were humans really welcomed, yes or no? He went back to their room and saw her sitting by the bed in her clean, warm pajamas. She was probably getting tired.
"Okay, now it's bedtime. You get dressed?" She seemed fine. Not upset. Not blushing. "Uh. Are you ashamed of your body?" He'd ask her directly. That should help keep him out of trouble. She was clearly trying to work out what he said. Shoot, this was stupid. "You shouldn't be. I'm sure it's fine. I'm all bones myself." He shrugged. "We'll try tomorrow night. I claim the right side. It's easier to wake up when I can just roll out in the mornings."
She looked like she had conflicted emotions. One side seemed embarrassed while the other wanted to laugh. "Uhh . . . hm. Is that important?"
"Yeah," Sans said as he got into the bed. "I'm lazy. It's important I get to roll out of bed easily."
"Not. Um." Frisky sighed. "Well. I guess. Um. Uh. It is marriage."
"Uh?" Sans looked over at her. "Well, I guess I can share the side of the bed?"
"No, it's fine." Frisky laid down on the pillow. "What do you have in your hand?"
"Oh? Oh yeah." Sans looked over in his hand. He forgot about that. He handed them to her. "Here. To welcome you to your new home."
"Echo flowers? To welcome me?"
"Uh huh." Sans could feel himself getting tired fast. He felt like he could sleep at least a week, and he still had his new hours to begin tomorrow. "Don't forget the kiss on my bony cheek and . . ."
" . . . and . . ." he knew he faded off at least a few minutes. In the middle of the sentence. Shoot. He looked over toward Frisky. She was already asleep. But, there was a small humming. He looked over at the echo flowers.
There was slightly different humming in each one. It was so low most Monsters probably wouldn't have noticed it. They were way over, tied up with his Grillby wrapper to her side of the bed.
Except for one. There was one just right between them. He picked it up and listened.
"Thank you, Sans."
Oh. She did like them. Well? Yeah, well, it is the rules. Actually the do's and don'ts were more like guidelines, and things like cuddling couldn't exactly be proven or enforced. But. He dragged her hand over a little bit. "Busy day for you too, huh?" No movement. The whole marriage, barely escaping the cold with her life, and thinking her son was dying was probably a lot to take. He brought her body over closer. Heh. So, she really used to be mine? How? Not that it mattered. None of that past stuff mattered anymore. His memory had been reset, and he could never remember, even if he wanted to. Her memory had been wiped clean. There was nothing left that remained except Flowey's knowledge and a single photo.
He pulled her even closer, feeling the whole softness of her body and hair against him. "Night. Faith."
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Outside the barrier . . .
"Yes, I see it. Dead ahead, not hard."
"Just go in, and straight to the lab. Don't mess with Sans the Skeleton. Don't mess with his wife or his kid."
"His stuff? It's mine."
"Nuh uh, our intel say they got married."
"Son of a bitch."
"Yes you are, aren't you?" Chara appeared in front of him. "You are not coming through my barrier. Of all people. You're the worst." She sneered. "Go away."
"Hang on, Sir. I've got a spirit to deal with." 04823 put up his MP back in its holder. "You must be Chara."
"Go. Away," She warned him again. "You're not coming into my Underground."
"This pathetic little shield is going to only last so long, and you can't keep me out. It's not in your programming."
"I can keep out certain Balancers, and I will keep out you."
"Balancer? But look at me?" He gestured toward his simple shirt and pants. "I'm nothing but a frail human."
"Uh uh. I got my own intel too. You're one of the original Balancer creations."
04823's eyes lit up red a second before returning back to their original color. "I'm not going to do anything bad. Just ACT. I'll wiggle. I'll flirt. I can throw sticks and play games. Show sympathy. Undecorate, be a sympathetic ear, and whatever else I have to do. I'm not going to hurt anyone." He winked his eye creepily. "I'm PACIFIST. I just need to go to a lab. That's all."
"Not happening," Chara said firmly. "Give it up you dick." She snapped her fingers in a way she hadn't in thousands of years. "You better recognize. I ain't playing with you."
"Yeah, I see." 04823 pulled out his MP and checked her status. "Bailed out in 2000 something. Explains your weird dialect. Well, I'm 04283."
"You ain't shit, that's what you are." She crossed her arms. "You can't ACT with me. And you're not a number either. According to what I dug up, you want Frisky's DETERMINATION mixed with you to create something even more powerful than my Itty Bitty. And it's not happening. She is happily where she should be. You can't pull out humans anyhow."
"There's always a way around everything. So, Chara. Seems you're fused with the barrier, is that right?" He sneered. "That's it, isn't it? It's using your own DETERMINATION. Well, that's a lot of it you have. If you were still alive, I could have switched over to you. Unfortunately, I need a little more than just a soul to make my perfect little conduit."
Chara stuck her tongue out at him. "Beat it."
"You can't keep out all the Balancers. The shield isn't built that way. They still think we're just like them," he warned her. "And I will find a way in. I'll find a way. I'll get into that lab and shut you down, and then? I'm going to get my reward. Third times a charm. I've been really making great headway on plans for this third one. It's going to survive, and afterward, mommy's DETERMINATION is going to be zapped away forever. It's going to be infused straight into it instead."
"Wow. You're such an idiot. If Sans even heard of you near the Underground? Nah, you'd shit bricks if you had to face him when he was angry. No resets. No saves. No continues."
"I'm strong enough without them."
"You only think so."
"Then open up and let's test it out?"
"I would but." Chara held out her hand and 04823 felt the barrier forcing him back. She was reinforcing it. "He's busy getting to reknow Frisky and being a dad to the son you took away from him. Plus, I know that's not a regular MP. I already got that data too."
"Well, aren't you smart."
"Damn Balancer. You better not try and replenish his memories while he's fighting you. That's cheating."
"Got a little weak spot for such a lazy guy, don't you?"
"Well?" Chara pursed her lips. "When you have several nice runs and the guy treats you to burgers and fries, and then you have to face him when he's had everything he loved taken away? Yeah, you kind of think he should get his happy ever after. And Frisky too. And Asriel. And of course, my Itty Bitty. No one's using him for evil anymore."
"Ah, so that's how much DETERMINATION you have? That's how long you are staying?" 04823 figured it out. "When you don't have the DETERMINATION to correct anything else, you won't have enough to keep us out anymore. DETERMINATION alone can't keep us out you know."
"When I don't have DETERMINATION to correct anything else? It won't matter. Monsters won't always need this barrier. They'll integrate. They'll get out when they find the right kind of Balancers that even them out." Chara chuckled. "Wow. I haven't made a pun in years. My mom would have been proud of me."
"Good. 'Cause it doesn't matter when this thing comes down. 95452's DETERMINATION is mine."
"Nah, it won't be. And also? It's not happening anytime soon. Seriously. Go away."
"I'll find a way in. There's always a way in."
"Step off!" Chara shouted. "This here's MY Underground now!"
"Fine. But I'll find a way in. One of these days. I will."
Close to Sans' many posts . . .
"Everyone is eyeing me strangely," Frisky said, noticing everyone still watching her. How long would that keep up?
"Human catching humans. It's kind of interesting," Sans said as he walked through the snow. "Tell me if you start freezing to death."
"Um. I'm sure you'll catch some signs," Frisky said watching Chance over in the other corner. "Hey, not too far."
"Sorry!" Chance came running over, his nose and cheeks beating red, but he didn't care. "I was playing with MK. Can we play with the others later too? I want MK to play with the other kids too."
"That's a good idea," Sans said, remembering what happened last night to one of Alphy's conduits. If Chance did have an ability to keep the conduits safe, then he needed to stay beside them. "You need to stay on top of being friends with your other friends. Nearby and far away."
"Maybe a halfway point?" Frisky suggested. "Undyne's house is about halfway."
Sans didn't thoroughly jump on that comment. Frisky felt bad about how early in the timeline things happened, pulling Undyne and Alphys away. Never getting a letter. Never going on the funky fate date. Alphys having conduits. It looked like she was still trying to pull them together. Just can't let it go, can you? Oh, human. How? How in the world did anything ever happen? He walked around with his slippers in the snow. After that reveal last night, Papyrus suggested he spend time with both of them at the same time today. As a whole family.
So far, it wasn't that bad. Even though he had an extremely busy day yesterday, he got a lot of rest last night. A whole eight hours of sleep. He got three times less breaks now, but Frisky's instant alertness also helped. Not that he would ever trust himself to fall into a deep sleep during work again.
He couldn't. If they got nabbed again. If anyone took Chance, he'd be used as a weapon and his mind probably destroyed. If anyone nabbed Frisky again, her DETERMINATION would be taken away or worse. No way, never. They are staying right here. Right. Here. He looked up toward the sky. Too bad they couldn't see it. Chance would soon again, but Frisky never would. Still, she didn't seem too upset about it.
Probably not at first. Not the first week. Maybe not even the first month. By six months. By a year. By five. Ten. Twenty. It got worse not easier with time. Then again, she had another kind of freedom being down there. She was free to be herself and with . . . me. Not that she'd want to be with me. This is all just an accident. He wiggled his foot. Get it together. So what if you and her somehow actually got together and had Chance? I mean, it was. It's gone. Doesn't exist. Seriously. Geez. Can't I just be happy she's not afraid I'm going to kill her anymore?
"Are you okay?" Frisky questioned him. "You don't look very good, Sans."
"Huh? Oh. Super fine." He tried to bring out his biggest smile. "Always great." Yeah, she didn't buy it. "Undyne's not real good with human kids, I don't think what you want's going to work."
"It doesn't hurt to ask," Frisky insisted.
"It might. It's just not . . . it's all from a different timeline. That letter stuff. Pretty pointless to try to replicate."
"I'm not replicating it," Frisky said. "I just need to help them a little. A tiny nudge in the right direction. Love will take it from there."
"Why can't you just give up on this thing?"
"Sans. You're getting as bad as Flowey." She sighed. "Because it's not the events that defined what happened, it was their own feelings. If I sent the letter and went on a fake date but they didn't really like each other, them admitting their feelings would never have happened in the first place."
Okay. Smart. He just walked away again. But she's human. A human I'm married to. I'm stuck with her anyway. But, humans are so strange. Flowey was proving just how strange she was last night. Sans stopped and waved to his friend. "Hi there, pal."
"Hi there, Sans," he said. "Enjoying married life?"
"So-so," Sans admitted. "She won't even let me see her naked yet."
"Really? That is strange."
Hm? Sans looked over at Frisky who was just staring him down. "What's up?"
"Oh, it's okay human!" Sans friend went by with a friendly wave. "Nothing to be ashamed of. See ya, Sans. And be good to your wife. She looks pretty edgy."
"Uh huh, thanks, Buddy." Hmm. What was it that Flowey said he shouldn't have done? He was listening last night. Well, half listening. He had been tired. He remembered the flowers. And he remembered . . . "So, I saw that guy Conner last night."
"He's a schmuck," Chance said.
"Chance," Frisky scolded him. "Yeah, he was wanting something. I gave him one of my old astronaut food bars."
Her voice still sounded pretty tense. Hmm. Her face was looking away still. What else could it be? "You know, Papyrus and I aren't real happy about your FRISK friends. But, we kind of agreed that Friskarino can come see you. I mean, if you want. I mean, you should be able to see any of them." Oh no, he'd already done it. Made it seem like she didn't get a choice. "We'd really only like to see him around you around the place, if that's okay with you?"
Well. That seemed to have made her better. "Thanks. Yeah, no worries. I know how you feel. I don't think the other Frisks will come anytime soon, but, if I get a chance, I'll tell Friskarino that."
Great. There we go, that was better. Sans kept his eyes peeled again. This job used to be a lot simpler because no one ever came. Now? Balancers crossed. Monsters crossed. And they all crossed anywhere. Snowdin residents. Residents from outside. It did make it easier to stay awake though. Papyrus, and even the Royal Guards were all actively watching for anyone who showed the wrong tendencies while crossing.
"Hey, Sans! How's It going?"
"Kind of tough. Humans are extra shy of their bodies. I'm working with it. Out for any tips though."
"Huh. That's weird. I'll keep all my ears open for tips for you."
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What in the world did I just get myself into? Frisky watched that whole exchange. Monster Marriage Culture. It was something she was inexperienced with. She'd been married less than a day but she was sure this was going to be different already. I need to learn this. Quick. I am going to mess up on how to ACT if I don't figure this out.
"Hey there, Frisky? How's married life treatin' ya?" Chara appeared not too far away. "Hey, Sans! I need to yack at your wife for a bit! Mind?"
Sans shrugged. "She's not a prisoner. Just, don't go too far. And, no lasers."
"Aw, he takes all the fun out of it." Chara started to walk along with Frisky. "So, how was the honeymoon?"
"That's not a very funny comment," Frisky said to her. "I don't think I am properly prepared for the ACT for this."
"Nah, you're not," Chara agreed and then chuckled. "You really, really aren't."
"What's that mean?"
"Well, your day has just started and you saw what just happened twice to Sans?" Chara said. "Monster Culture. It's not at all like Balancers or humans. There are some really good things and bad things. One really nice thing is that Monsters? They may be vicious and fight and everything. You know? Battle to the death! Rargh!" She bared her teeth and stomped around for a second. "But? I mean, come on." Chara chuckled again. "Remember the Nose Nuzzle championships? The cute lovey Dogamy and Dogaressa? Yeah, they don't have that in your world, and there's a reason. Human guys were always so-so with romance. Balancers are awful, just getting worse with it. Monsters though would put their very life on the line for their family, or to correct the wrong doing of another's."
"Yeah, I read about that on the do's and don't's," Frisky agreed. "Cuddling. Sleeping with their young three nights a week."
"Yeah, until they are 8 or so I think. They are really sweet as a whole. But, uh, there are some huge differences too. Like that back there?" She gestured toward Sans. "Sans is telling Monsters he meets about you not letting him see you naked."
"Yeah. Hard to miss that one."
"Ah, ah. I hear your tone. You're in Monster marriage not human marriage. You're already choosing the wrong way to ACT. Ya see how many Monsters roam around naked? Or, they have just a few clothes on? Different culture. Expect different things, Frisky."
"Okay. Yeah," Frisky confessed. "I didn't need this for my missions, but, I wish I had studied it more now. Sans was ready to actually see me last night. Me, me."
"Yeah, and that's far from over. Aw, Frisky!" Chara just smiled at her big and wide. "You've got a lot of hard ACT to do so hold onto your DETERMINATION. Because Sans' Monster instinct makes him want to actively tell everyone he meets who asks, his closest friends, or the more he's really falling in love with you, how you're little agenda is going." She winked.
"What?"
"What you look like, what he likes about you, how much you've cuddled, how far you're coming along. Because if he doesn't say anything at all, then it makes him? Look like he's mean. Like he doesn't like you. Like he's a rude guy. Like he must not be able to stand the way you look. Like he doesn't like the way you talk, the way you walk. The cuddles, the hugs. You name it. Everything." She laughed one more time. "Everything, everything, everything. Not to mention, it's Sans. A fairly popular guy of Snowdin. So, he's got a lot more chatting up about you."
"Ooh." Really? "You aren't making this up?"
"You. Wish. It's like human locker conversation," Chara winked, "Except there is nothing said really behind your back. And, as a Monster woman, it's supposed to be a sweet thing, knowing your hubby notices and is concerned about you."
Oh no. "Big difference between we cuddly nightly and . . . and everything."
"Not to them. You naked is top on everyone's list too because you're human. You're a unique one. Even Sans is clearly curious about you, don't you think?" Chara chuckled. "Hub-hub can't wait to see you in your glory."
"Chara." Frisky touched the top of her head. "Is there any way to make this go away?"
"You so totally wish. I mean, he'll keep it a little on the down low right now," Chara admitted. "Because, well, you're only married because of Chance."
"Exactly. So."
"So the regular rules shouldn't apply, huh? He shouldn't be so sweet?"
"It's not sweet."
"Is to Monsters."
Frisky was almost starting to glare. "I. I don't like this custom."
"Well, put yourself in their shoes. Hey, let's go with Alphys and Undyne since you're so bent on getting them together?" Chara suggested. "They get together. Now, all Monsters have different kinds of bodies. Sans is obviously nothing but bones. Alphys is like a Dino nerd body. Undyne is a fishy scaly human-like body. All kinds, so especially when a fish body gets with a nerd body?"
" . . . what?"
"As a Monster, you want to make your partner feel comfortable about the differences between you. So Alphys would go around and tell others about how beautiful and graceful and charming Undyne looks without her armor underneath, and vice versa. Undyne would talk about what a beautiful bare form Alphys had. As partners, it would make them feel more secure."
"What if they are already naked?"
"Those Monsters are considered supremely comfortable, and their partner focuses more on, you know. The kisses, hugs, cuddling, how antennas feel on their scaly skin or whatever. Why, are you going to shed all your clothing?" Chara clapped and bit her lip. "That would be rich." She clapped her hands twice quicker. "But, don't worry, 'cause there is something that will probably get you out of this all."
"Really?" Frisky asked. "What?"
"Really want to know? Really, really want to know?"
Chara was too dang happy. Frisky could tell. "What?"
"Well, while there is the interest to make a partner feel comfortable there is the selfish partnership too. It's a little closer to the human way. Once a Monster sees underneath their partner, if they like what they see? I mean not 'I'm comfortable with how your form looks', it's more like 'holy crap, that is hot, and this is for me ever only,' then that free speech gets buttoned up pretty tight." Chara started to skip while she walked. "In fact, when someone asks, they'll start growling, snarling, or something to get the hint their partner is not going to be discussed in that way."
"Well." Frisky wouldn't mind the second at least. Less trouble. "Can that be an ACT?"
"Oh no, Silly! You don't have to do it for Sans. I mean, you could, but I think you fall into that 'so unique we don't know what to expect' range. Besides, Sans is quite comfortable with himself. He'd let go of his clothes any old day. In a distant past, he used to wear even less and he didn't care either."
"Oh. So, even though this marriage isn't exactly because of love?"
"The body isn't normally hypersexualized. But, it won't stay that way," Chara teased. "When he sees you, he's going to want to button you up even tighter, for his eyes only kind of thing. Yep, once you have your little exposure, he'll want you all for himself. Naked. Being warmed up with his own magic in bed on them cold nights instead of your little PJ's."
"Chara!"
"Oh, please, I'm thousands of years old. Point is, humans hypersexualize everything. Monsters don't. Unless their partner has a rocking hot body. Holy crap, he's going to totally spaz out when he sees you."
"You're not exactly making things easier." But, not hypersexualized. "Even without that kind of close love, he still expects to see me. Because it's not sexual."
"Not yet." Chara teased again.
Okay. Well? "I guess it's just something I'll have to have the DETERMINATION to see myself through." Lots of it. "At least it can't get any worse." Chara started laughing again. "What?"
"A little baby bones in three months? Hello, Frisky!" She continued to laugh.
"Yes?" Frisky didn't get it.
"Human and Monster are different. What is fun for one, may not just be fun for the other?" Chara teased. "Well, that's it for me today. I'm watching my barrier a little more closer. I am getting better at sensing the better Balancers from the others. I'm not perfect, but I think I'm getting better. But, uh, one more thing? You don't have to get real detailed physically for Sans or anything. But you should do something."
"What?"
"You do want to turn on the sweet ACT stuff. Talk about the hugs, kisses, cuddles, anything nice he does for you to the women Monsters who get curious. How your heart beats when he's around. Because I guarantee with Sans? You know, uhh . . . the way he's kind of . . . not exactly . . ." She waved her hand back and forth. "Uh, you know. He's the Legendary Fart Master. You are married to The Legendary Fart Master, not Romeo. Get my drift?"
Frisky rubbed her fingers against each other. "I feel so unprepared. I am not used to any of this. I need books and manuals. Training in this area."
"Too bad because it's not a mission. No more missions, Frisky. Welcome to the rest of your life. Yep. You climbed through freezing snow and risked everything for this. But really, it isn't so bad."
"Hm. I haven't lost my mind yet, Chance is safe, and we are okay."
"Yeah, plus you were really crushing on The Legendary Fart Master too. So it works out."
"Crushing?" Frisky shook her head. "Sans isn't going to kill me. I have made a decent friendship with Sans. I'm married to him now, but, I . . ."
"Pfffttt. Listen, Frisky. The faster you two realize your feelings, the better this whole thing is going to go. Accept it and move on."
"Chara. I haven't even met him anywhere except Judgment Hall that he remembers. Even if he did remember, I didn't do anything really different. Just, I haven't-"
"Stockholm Syndrome anyone?"
"Stop. This is just. Well, he's not. He's a . . . well, I mean." Frisky couldn't help it as her cheeks grew warmer.
"You're already married. You've got a kid with him. You're stuck with him for centuries, so you might as well accept it," Chara teased her. "You've got the hots for The Legendary Fart Master."
Frisky refused to answer.
"Don't worry though. The Legendary Fart Master likes you too," Chara winked.
"You know you are a little odd at times, don't you, Chara?"
"Don't look at me. You're the one with the strange taste," Chara just laughed as she disappeared.
Chara. She really was an odd one. Sans isn't killing me. We're friends. And, I suppose I have to learn this new ACT. It is going to take a lot of DETERMINATION. From pure embarrassment. But, hopefully this is as bad as it gets? Right? Of course. He'll see me. We'll cuddle. That's marriage. Then when the three month time is up then I just get impregnated. Nothing real new.
She just had to keep up her DETERMINATION up through this part. A lot.
Cause. Sans. Naked in front of Sans. Naked. That was . . .