Bringing Up Baby

"So. How was prom?", Desiree asked as the disgruntled form of Zephyr entered the kitchen.

"Ugh. I'm so tired", Zephyr sat down on a chair, his back slouched.

Desiree paused for a second and then her eyes snapped wide open, "Do you have a hangover?".

"No", Zephyr replied, "Just tired".

"I'm glad you didn't get drunk", Desiree muttered, releasing a sigh of relief.

"Don't worry", Zephyr comforted, "I'm not Michael. I'm a responsible person".

"I'm glad", Desiree said as she let out a sigh of relief, "I don't want you to be like your Dad. Just imagining it gives me shivers".

"I'm horrified just by you mentioning it", Zephyr muttered, his voice slightly shaky.

"Did you have fun at prom?", Desiree inquired, trying to distract themselves from the horrible thoughts they were having.

"Oh yeah. It was pretty awesome!", Zephyr exclaimed.

"So how was dancing with Alex?", Desiree asked, curious to know more.

"She was pretty awkward at the start, but then she got into the groove", Zephyr answered. "Oh yeah", Zephyr muttered, suddenly remembering something, "Haley and Dylan ended up coming".

"I'm running on fumes here kid", Desiree muttered, unsure of what else to ask him.

"I'm going to go over to Alex's in a bit", Zephyr informed as he got up from his chair, "She just woke up and wants me to be there when Claire interrogates her".

"That sounds like Claire", Desiree remarked, "I wouldn't be surprised if she does a drug check on the both of you". Seeing his retreating form, Desiree shouted, "Make sure to meet us at Gloria's if you're not going to be here by 5!".

"Will do!", Zephyr replied, walking up the stairs.

[Time Skip]

Claire was calmly sipping on her coffee as she leaned back on the kitchen counter. After taking a moment, her eyebrows scrunched up and she muttered, "It's strange. Why is the house so quiet?".

Before she could continue, the doorbell was rung and before Claire could react, she heard the sound of footsteps running down the stairs and Alex yelled, "I'll get that".

"Huh", Claire muttered as she heard the door being opened, "That's strange. I could've sworn I forgot something".

"Hi", Alex greeted as she entered the kitchen.

"Hey Mrs. Dunphy", Zephyr muttered as he followed in after her, yawning from how tired he was.

"Right. Let's get this over with", Alex stated, looking at her mother.

"Get what over with?", Claire questioned, unsure of what her daughter was talking about.

"This is the part where you interrogate both me and Zephyr, asking us what we did at prom and then you make us do a drug test to prove we did nothing wrong. Like you've done with Haley for the past 4 years", Alex explained.

"Oh yeah!", Claire exclaimed, "The prom! I totally forgot about that".

"Seriously?", Zephyr asked.

"Yeah", Claire nodded, taking a quick sip of her coffee, "So. How'd it go?".

"You're not going to interrogate us?", Alex questioned in disbelief.

"You're not going to make us do a drug test?", Zephyr added, also in disbelief.

"Yeah", Claire waved them off, "So. Tell me. What'd you do at prom?".

"Are you sure you're okay Mom?", Alex inquired, "Have you got a fever or anything?".

"Nope. I'm as good as can be", Claire answered.

"Alex. I think there's something wrong with your Mom?", Zephyr not-so-convincingly whispered.

"I'm fine", Claire said through gritted teeth, getting irritated by what she was hearing.

"That looks more like the normal Claire", Zephyr commented, getting a glare from Claire in return.

"I think we should stop", Alex whispered into Zephyr's ears, who nodded at her words.

Taking a deep breath, Claire tried again, "So. How was prom?".

"It was great", Alex began, "Zephyr and I danced all night. We took loads of pictures with our friends. Then we had an after-party and it was so fun!".

"That doesn't sound like the prom I know", Claire muttered as she heard Alex recount what happened.

"I have such a bad headache", Haley groaned as she entered the kitchen, still wearing the dress she wore last night.

"Now that's the prom I remember", Claire said, pointing at Haley. Placing her coffee cup down, she looked at Haley and asked, "Were you drinking?".

"Mom, do we really have to do this?", Haley sighed, "You ask me if I was drinking and I deny it even though we both know that's not true. Aren't we past that stage at this point in our relationship?".

"No, young lady, we are not", Claire muttered, shaking her head.

"Then I did not", Haley lied, taking a seat on a chair.

"Neither was I Mrs. D", Dylan said, suddenly emerging from the couch, still wearing the suit he borrowed from Phil and looking as dishevelled as Haley was.

Taking a deep breath to calm herself down, Claire stared at Haley, "Dear God. Tell me he did not spend the night here?".

"Do we really have to do this again Mom?", Haley questioned.

Sighing, Claire bent down to get the blender out of one of the cupboards and began to pull an assortment of ingredients, carelessly throwing them in the blender without regard for quantity.

"For what it's worth, Dylan was very responsible last night", Haley said, "He's a good guy to have around the house".

"Right", Claire murmured as she squirted a bunch of chilli sauce into the blender, "Where are you going with this?".

"Well. Since I can't move in with him anymore, he can't pay his rent", Haley explained, "So. I was wondering if it'd be okay for him to stay over at ours for a couple of weeks".

"Oh sure", Claire sarcastically said, "Why don't you sleep in our room too while you're at it".

"Really?", Haley inquired in shock, "That'd be so great".

"She's being facetious", Alex said, receiving a look of confusion from Haley, "Sarcastic".

"Let me handle this one", Zephyr interrupted, "Dylan no stay".

"What?!", Haley exclaimed as Claire turned on the blender, "Why?! He'll help out a lot. He's very handy!".

"Really?", Alex asked as soon as the blender was turned off, "The guy who locked himself in his own car?".

"The guy who spent an hour pushing a door that was clearly labelled pull?", Zephyr added.

"You're in no position to be making demands young lady", Claire strictly answered. Pouring the concoction she had made into a glass, she passed it to Haley, "Here. This is for your hangover".

"Ew. It smells gross", Haley commented, taking a whiff of the contents of the glass.

"Then you better drink it fast", Claire replied, her face neutral.

Looking at her mom for a second, Haley decided to take a gulp of the glass, immediately setting it down as soon as she tasted what was inside. "Ew. I'm going to throw up!", Haley exclaimed as she ran out of the room.

"I thought coffee was a hangover cure?", Zephyr muttered.

"We'll never know, will we?", Claire countered, innocently shrugging her shoulders and walking out of the room.

Once she left, Zephyr and Alex made their way over to the couch and sat down. Zephyr, feeling courageous, wrapped an arm around Alex's waist and pulled her as close as possible, their hips virtually combined. Confident, Alex rested her head on his shoulder, feeling content and safe in his embrace.

[Time Skip]

"Hey!", Zephyr greeted Manny as he entered Jay's house.

"We're here!", Alex shouted loud enough for her mom to hear.

"Good", Claire said from the kitchen as she was secretly discussing something with Gloria and Desiree.

"We made it!", Phil exclaimed as he entered the house with Jay right in front of him.

"The birthday boy's here!", Matt hollered, following in right after Phil.

Before he could even say anything, Claire grabbed him and dragged him to the corner, "Dad. Quick. I gotta tell you something". After looking around to make sure that no one was eavesdropping, she continued, "Dad. Someone is about to tell you some very important news. And, for the very first time in your life, I need you to react nicely".

"I always do", Jay argued, immediately getting shut down by his daughter.

"You never have", Claire countered, "And this person in question is very vulnerable right now. So, could you please be loving and supportive for once".

"Happy birthday Dad!", Mitchell congratulated as he opened the door, giving Jay a quick hug.

"Sorry we're late, but it's for a good reason", Cam announced, "We're thinking about getting a cat".

"Well, isn't that wonderful", Jay began, "I'm thrilled for the both of you. That is a brave decision to make, and you have my full support". Awkwardly waiting there for a second and seeing no reaction, he continued, "I think it'll be the perfect addition to the family. I know I'll love the heck out of the little bugger. I just hope that little one over there doesn't get jealous".

"Oh, this little one will be just fine now that he knows where he stands!", Manny exclaimed, incorrectly assuming that Jay was referring to him when, in reality, he was referring to Stella who was right behind him, "In the shadows of your new baby!"

"What's he on about?", Jay muttered, looking at Gloria.

"He's talking about how I am pregnant", Gloria answered.

"Ew! Gross! I didn't know Grandpa could still do it", Luke muttered, earning the disgusted glares of several people in the room.

"Don't be disrespectful, Luke", Phil softly said, "Anyone could still do it with Gloria".

"If you're too set in your old ways, I am perfectly happy to raise them on my own!", Gloria continued before Jay could say what he wanted, "I have done it before, and I will do it again now! I come from a very long and strong line of Latina women whose husbands are nowhere to be found!".

"Are you done?", Jay asked, raising his hand.

Somewhat surprised by how calm he was, Gloria raised an eyebrow and said, "Yes".

Looking at her in the eyes, Jay said, "That's the greatest news I've ever heard".

"It is?", Gloria questioned, shocked by his words.

"I spent the whole of today, hearing what my future had in store for me. And I didn't like it, not on bit. It made me feel like my life was ending", Jay said, "And now I find out that I get a new start ... with the woman of my dreams. I think I'm gonna cry".

"Already ahead of you", Phil muttered, wiping a tear away from his eye.

Pulling her into a hug, Jay exclaimed, "It's going to be great! I know it will!".

"I'm going to get so fat!", Gloria sobbed as she hugged Jay, worried about what she would look like.

"It doesn't matter to me whether you get fat", Jay comforted, "Because this is a new start and I'm going to enjoy it to the fullest".