Chapter 18 First kiss

Mingyu's heart was deeply troubled.

Not only because of Wonwoo but also because of his sexual orientation!

What is his sexual orientation?

At first he became aware of his attraction and desires towards Wonwoo, an another man. But he knew that since his childhood he had liked girls.

Then he thought that maybe he was bisexual, if he is bisexual then spending his life with a girl isn't impossible right?

This is the reason why he took the decision to forget about Wonwoo and have a fresh start with a girl. Even though he doesn't love her, he would come to love her eventually when he starts spending time with her.

That's why he had went out of his way to coax the angry Minji.

It wasn't easy.

She had outright refused to meet him when he inquired about her through Wonwoo.

Even he wasn't sure why but he was panicking at that time when Minji blocked him. Was it because he had unconsciously thought of her as his salvation? The one who would save him and prevent him from committing a sin? From committing wrongs against Wonwoo.

So he tried everything to make up with her. He brought flowers and chocolates for her everyday and also apologized to her many times after waiting for her outside her college. In the meantime he also reflected where he has gone wrong and then he understood that he had underestimated a woman's institutions. But it also wasn't like he had hidden his disinterest in her in front of her so it wasn't surprising that she didn't want to have anything to do with him.

At first when he went to apologize to her she was cold towards him of course but with time her heart started to warm up towards him.

Also the thing he didn't knew was, Minji had started feeling flattered and satisfied with his attitude of giving her so much importance in front of her friends.

She knew about his disinterest in her so when she blocked him she had thought that they both won't have anything to do with each other in future so when Mingyu came to her at first she was so surprised as well as happy!

So this means that she matters to him right?!

Also, her female friends were burning with jealousy after seeing such a handsome hunk waiting for her daily and pursuing her with so much efforts. They also started persuading her to forgive him because of their good impression of him and also because they thought that his offense wasn't even that big. He must have realized that he loves Minji when she had blocked him that's why he was here to repent.

So finally when everything was said and done, Mingyu proposed her to be his girlfriend on one fine day and she agreed with enthusiasm. It was such a happy day for her.

Since then Mingyu did start to give her his attention and care trying his utmost to not think about Wonwoo when he was with her.

Also, he didn't want to think of her as Wonwoo's substitute but the fact that her face had some similarities with Wonwoo's helped him distract his attention from Wonwoo.

As a girlfriend and boyfriend, it was inevitable for them to have intimate moments. They won't be in relationship if not right?

So for Mingyu, when he first had his first kiss with Minji he had kissed her with fervour. Trying to get feel of her. It was a bit shameful to say but she was literally his first kiss or so he thought because while kissing her his mind kept flashing some images of him kissing someone.

Has he kissed someone before? He felt like it was the first time when he had gotten drunk with his friends, it felt like the images were of that time but he can't recall whom he had kissed.

While recalling in a daze he lost his momentum from earlier and the kiss ended with Minji being dissatisfied.

After that he just wasn't being able to immerse himself whenever they kissed. He wanted to but Wonwoo's face kept flashing in front of him whenever he kissed her. His shy innocent smile, his bright eyes behind his glasses. His upper thin but lower thick lips with a bit of reddish tint that makes him want to kiss Wonwoo.

No!

He doesn't want to think of Wonwoo everytime he kisses Minji!

Then he started wondering if he was thinking about him when he was kissing her first time too?! No it shouldn't be, that's not right! But when he think of Minji as Minji he couldn't bring himself to kiss her.

He was feeling hopeless, who would have thought that after getting together with her he would start wronging her again and that too this early.

But isn't he bisexual? Then why is it becoming so hard to feel something while kissing her?

Is he not bisexual? Then is he gay?!

Mingyu had been thinking about it for a few days now.

The one who has newly started to question his orientation and didn't want to discuss about it with anyone else would naturally go online to find answers.

He did the same while sitting on the bed. Asking his doubts but not being satisfied then taking the online sexuality test but still not being satisfied. Then he finally decided to watch gay porn. If he is able to get aroused by it then he is gay right? But it's still not right! In his teenage years he had also watched straight porn videos and he used to enjoy it! Then how come he don't feel anything about Minji?

Mingyu scratched his head in confusion but decided to watch the gay porn anyways.

He opened a simple and raw one as he is a beginner. He doesn't want to see some intense staff this early.

The guys in the video started doing some foreplay like teaching the beginners but just looking at it Mingyu hurriedly shut off his mobile in bewilderment!

His heart was racing faster as if he was doing something wrong!

He felt a bit awkward because he had never imagined that he would be watching gay porn ever in his lifetime!

Though being in an all boys high school and due to Jeonghan, he knew about how things takes place in sex between two boys but still there's a huge difference between hearing and seeing it with one's own eyes.

This can't do. He should still watch it whole even if he feel a bit of discomfort.

So he opened it again and started watching it.

Soon the activity progressed in the video and the main course of things started taking place. At first Mingyu did feel a bit excited but with the same thing happening for a long time he started to lose interest.

Was he really gay? He wondered in a daze. Then he focused at the screen again. What if he and Wonwoo were in the place of these both on the screen he wondered again.

On the screen, the one on the bottom was moaning and groaning while clutching the white bedsheet with one hand while the other hand was gripping the hairs of the man on the top of him. The owner of those hairs was kissing the one below him who had fair white and smooth skin that was flushed rose red due to the intense pleasure he was experiencing. With the time the pumping was becoming faster and faster and the moans of both the men were also louder and more urgent until they climaxed together.

When Mingyu imagined Wonwoo and him being in their place, until the time they climaxed he could also feel his erection with a wet patch on his pants.

While looking at his own erection he groaned miserably. He ended up thinking dirtly about Wonwoo again.

He rubbed his eyes again and got up to take shower and also take care of junior Mingyu.

About his sexuality, he needs an another way to find out about it.

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