Chapter 10 Crush

Mingyu whipped his head back so fast that he almost had neck whiplash. While looking at Wonwoo he found that Wonwoo was looking at him too.

"What? Wonwoo hyung likes someone too?! Who is she?" Dino was the first to break the brief silence. He looked at Wonwoo curiously, his eyes sparkling with interest.

For some unknown reason Mingyu felt disappointed when Dino asked who that girl is. It made him realise that the person is 'her' not 'him' and it's given. Of course Wonwoo would like a girl what was he expecting?

"I'm sure whoever Wonwoo likes must be lucky. He is a considerate and patient man. He would really take good care of the person he loves" Seungkwan added.

Everyone agreed to what he said. Mingyu felt even more sour inside. Since coming from taking a dip with Wonwoo, Mingyu has been feeling of wanting to possess everything of Wonwoo and the person himself as well. His love, his pampering, his patience, his body and even the right to look at him. His sexy expressions and especially his shirtless look which no one has seen until now. It made him feel like he is special and as if he had looked at something forbidden as if he had committed a sin by looking at something pure with dirty eyes. This forbidden fruit that he wants to eat. Strangely just the word forbidden plus the person Wonwoo makes him feel extremely excited. Even the though of someone else being able to see him more than he had in the coming future made him feel extremely possessive.

"Wonwoo hyung quickly tell us who is that person! You haven't told us yet!" Dino said impatiently.

Looking at everyone's eager expression Wonwoo was silent for a while and then said,

"Mingyu"

Everyone was still registering what Wonwoo was saying but Mingyu who was listening with anticipation and fear felt his heart bubbling with excitement when he heard his name. But it didn't last for long though. Soon his fluttering heart sank to the pit of darkness.

"Mingyu knows her, right Mingyu? I once introduced her to Mingyu and Jeonghan" Wonwoo said with a small smile as if thinking about her makes him happy.

"Oh... You mean that girl, Kim Jiwan is her name right? I remember. She is cute" Jeonghan said with little to no interest. He wasn't very curious in the first place and after knowing that he has already saw her his tiny curiosity died as well.

Mingyu remembered her instantly as well cause it was the first time Wonwoo introduced his female friend to them. She was, at first his online friend and because they both share the same hobby of dancing they became friends quickly. Mingyu also remembered that Wonwoo did start to hangout more and became more outgoing after meeting her. At first he didn't think anything about them hanging out often but now that he thinks about it he couldn't help but clench his fist. He should have realised it sooner. With the shy personality of Wonwoo why would he hangout with a girl so often if not for him having feelings for her.

Everyone started to ask more and more about Wonwoo's crush. If not for Jeonghan, Mingyu, Dino and Wonwoo being in the department of architecture with Mingyu and Dino being juniors of Jeonghan and Wonwoo even they both wouldn't have known about that girl, that's how secretive Wonwoo was about himself. Though Dino felt regretful after hearing that Mingyu and Jeonghan has already met Jiwan but he wasn't able to because of some submissions that were pending but he still felt better after seeing Scoups's and Dokyeom's clueless face. Even though they both were living together with Wonwoo they still didn't knew that the one Wonwoo was hanging out with was a girl. Dino couldn't help but laugh at their silly expression.

Mingyu was quite throughout the interrogative questions of his friends coming one after another endlessly towards Wonwoo, not leaving if not answered.

Suddenly Hoshi changed the direction of conversation towards Mingyu saying, "Hey everyone, I just remembered something! Isn't Mingyu popular with girls?-"

Mingyu cut Hoshi quickly by saying " Yeah so?" Even he don't know why he was in such a hurry to say something and clamped his mouth shut to let Hoshi finish what he was saying earlier.

Hoshi looked at Mingyu and said, " So why don't you have a girlfriend yet? "

Jeonghan found it funny and weird, he chuckled and asked Hoshi, " Why? Are you suspecting him of being gay?"

When Mingyu heard himself first time being labeled as gay, his body turned rigid and he felt a sense of panic. His expression distorted. Though he doesn't have any prejudice against same sex couples but he who has always thought that he was straight until now, don't know and is not sure of his sexuality anymore. The way the people would see him, the way the society would look at him, the way they would talk about him if they knew that he has starting to like a man, thinking about these things suddenly made him feel afraid.

He doesn't have to worry about what his friends would think about him as they have already accepted Jeonghan and what the society thinks might not be important for him in the future when he figures out and accepts himself but his parents were important to him and he can say for sure that even though they are not closed minded people but they are also not open minded enough to accept their son having a male partner. Mingyu felt his head aching again while thinking about these things.

"No, no, I'm just curious, purely curious" Hoshi tried to defend and explain himself after realising his question can be taken this way.

"Why are you being so careful.... Being gay is not that bad" Jeonghan mumbled like complaining.

"Yes, yes, yeah" Hoshi said helplessly, again realising that his sentence might have been offensive.

Jeonghan, seeing Hoshi miserable laughed out loud but Hoshi let out a sigh of relief seeing him laugh. It means Jeonghan wasn't upset with him.

Jeonghan knows that Hoshi didn't mean it in an offensive way and was just teasing him because sometimes while talking about such topics his friends tends to be more sensitive and careful about what they speak. Though their carefulness makes him feel touched but it also makes him feel like they have restricted themself which in turn makes the conversation awkward and uncomfortable. These things are inevitable when his friends can't relate with him but still he is slowly trying to find a way to make them feel more comfortable when talking about such things.

He is also trying to correct them if they have any misgivings in a more comfortable manner.

Mingyu turned to look at Jeonghan and felt his appreciation and respect for him reaching a new height. Just the thought of his sexuality is making him panic so much but Jeonghan has struggled much more than him.

He can't even imagine how Jeonghan had gathered the courage to come out in front of his twelve friends with twelve different thoughts and not even one being unimportant to him. At that time Mingyu wasn't able to relate with him even if he felt sad for the things Jeonghan experienced but now he can tell that the emotional burden alone can make one have many mental disorders. He still can't imagine himself coming out.

Mingyu firmly started saying, " At first I wasn't ready to date as soon as entering the college. I wanted to focus on my studies but we are already past midterms so I feel like I should start dating now"

He folded his hands and said with a smirk, " After all my parents wants me to marry early so that they can play with their grandchildren "

" Help me by introducing someone beautiful and caring. I want to have a girlfriend already"

Mingyu felt like a coward inside but maybe his attraction towards Wonwoo is just his illusion. Maybe he will return to how he was before after dating a girl.

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