Averting a Crisis

Earth Land, Ishgar, Kingdom of Fiore, Magnolia. 

September 1, x786. 

While Alfonzo was chatting with Gildarts, Ur, Wendy, and Carla, Elicia led the others towards the mansion on the lake. As they walked, they chatted harmoniously. At the same time, they were all looking forward to the meal that Alfonzo would prepare. 

"I've heard a lot about this Alfonzo's cooking ever since I first came to visit you, Ed." Izumi said curiously. "But it's hard to believe someone could be so talented in cooking. Especially when you consider his reputation in other fields." 

"I know what you mean, Teacher." Edward replied. "In fact, I thought the same thing at first. But when I tasted the food, I could not argue with everyone's assessment in the slightest." 

"Besides, you'd better not let Alfonzo hear you doubting his skills, Mrs. Curtis." Winry said while smiling wryly. 

"What do you mean?' Izumi asked in a curious tone. 

Not only Izumi, but Sig also looked at Winry with curiosity. 

"Well, Colonel Mustang and Lt. Hawkeye did it when they came to see Ed and Al get their bodies back." Winry said, her wry smile widening. "And well, Alfonzo went all out with his cooking that day." 

"Huh? That doesn't make sense, though." Izumi said in a confused tone. "Why would he put extra effort into it if they were doubting him to his face." 

"To get them hooked." Edward replied with a shrug. 

Hearing that, Izumi and Sig understood immediately. Then, they wore sympathetic expressions. 

"I see." Izumi said with a nod. "If he's as good as you say, those two will probably never be able to enjoy other food for the rest of their lives." 

"Yeah, I think that's what he was going for." Edward replied. "And if they ever come back, he'll probably never cook for them again." 

"Rather vindictive." Sig said in his deep voice. 

"Yeah." Winry replied. "Alfonzo's a really nice guy, but he doesn't take too kindly to people doubting his skill in the kitchen." 

"And the worst thing is that he knows how good a cook he is." Elicia said while cutting into the conversation. "So, he threatens to withhold meals all the time as punishment." 

"Does he starve you when he's angry?" Izumi asked with furrowed eyebrows. 

"No, it's not like that." Mirajane replied with a smile. "But when we do something to make him mad, he refuses to cook for us. But he doesn't stop us from finding food somewhere else..." 

"That's right, and he'll cook for the rest of the house while we watch them eat it." Erza added. 

"It's cruel and unusual." Elicia said in a tone filled with lament. 

Hearing that, Izumi could not help but look at Elicia with a deadpan. Had she been one of her apprentices, she would have been beaten up for making her think the worst. 

Like that, the rest of the walk went on harmoniously. Until the group reached the bridge leading across the lake. 

"Uh oh… This could be bad." Elicia muttered a she and the entire group came to a stop. 

IN front of the group, Tsunade, Retsu, Irene, and Brandish were standing across from each other. And while Tsunade and Brandish were trying to get their companions to calm down, more Tsunade than Brandish, Retsu and Irene were leaking potent amounts of battle intent while looking each other in the eyes. 

While Irene stood casually, her posture seemingly relaxed, it was clear to see that she was ready to fight based on the fac that she had materialized her staff. Retsu, on the other hand, was smiling like a feral beast with her hand on her Zanpakuto's hilt while her magic power spiked to the sky. 

"Come on, Master Retsu." Tsunade said in a terrified tone. "Do you really want to do this in front of the Kid's house?" 

"Believe me, Tsuna, I'd rather not." Retsu replied as she took a step towards Irene. "But This woman is not human. On top of that, my instincts are telling me she has ill intent." 

"Now, that's just rude." Irene replied in a leisurely tone. "Despite knowing nothing about me, you claim I'm here with ill intent. On top of that, to say that I'm not human. You must have grown up with little in the way of manners." 

"Oh, come now." Retsu replied while maintaining her smile. "We're both old enough to not pretend. It would be better if you just revealed your true identity. Otherwise, I'll have to force it out of you." 

"So barbaric." Irene replied while shaking her head. "From what I can tell, you're just using this as an excuse to fight someone with all your power. *Sigh* so hypocritical." 

"Though that may be true." Retsu replied as she took another step forward. "It does not change anything about what I said prior. And as I have become quite fond of those living in this mansion, I won't allow you to hurt any of them." 

"And I have no intention of harming anyone here." Irene replied. "So, you can back down now, right?" 

"Though that seems to be true." Retsu said while analyzing Irene's words, expressions, and body language. "You still have no good intentions." 

"*Sigh* I guess it doesn't matter what I say." Irene said in a feigned tone of sadness. "You won't believe me, anyway. I guess I'll have to just stop you from bothering me the good old fashioned way." 

As she spoke the last sentence, Irene began flaring her own magic power. And the sheer amount of magic power she possessed made the surroundings begin to shake. Even the defensive barrier around the mansion at the center of the lake activated and became visible to the onlookers. 

In fact, the amount of magic power Irene was outputting was so great that Tsunade and Brandish were both forced away. Retsu, on the other hand, widened her smile as she gripped the hilt of her Zanpakuto even tighter. Then, she took a third step forward. At the same time, she drew Minazuki from its sheath. Then, while holding the blade across her body, Retsu brought her free, left hand up to the blade. 

"[Ban---]." Retsu began to chant as she placed her palm against the edge of Minazuki's blade. 

"This is bad." Elicia, Tsunade, and Brandish muttered at the same time. "This is really, REALLY, bad." 

Just before Retsu could finish her chant and draw her own blood with her blade, the Escalade, with Alfonzo, Gildarts, Ur, Wendy, Carla, and Alphonse inside, floated down from the sky and landed between the two women. Then, the driver's side window rolled down before Alfonzo poked his head out. 

"As sick as it would be to see women of your caliber fight, can you do it somewhere else?" Alfonzo asked in an annoyed tone. "Although I'm not strong enough to make you pay for it if you damage my house, I promise with every fiber of my being that I will never fucking cook for either of you again if you do." 

Instead of drawing back their magic power immediately because of Alfonzo's threat, Retsu and Irene exchanged glances. Then, they both looked at Alfonzo before returning their gazes to each other. In actuality, Retsu and Irene were weighing their options. First, like Irene said, Retsu really did want the opportunity to fight someone with all her strength. Second, Irene was annoyed and angry that Retsu was getting in the way of her mission. And third, they were debating if taking out their aggression right here and right now was worth not getting to taste Alfonzo's cooking ever again. 

Eventually, Irene was the first to pull back her magic power. Realizing that if she were to fight Retsu, she would have to go all out. Meaning, she would have to take on her dragon form. On top of that, if she were to hurt this woman, who was clearly friendly with her target, his wariness of her would increase, making it harder to get his secrets or make him follow her back to Alakitasia peacefully. 

Seeing Irene pull back her magic power, Retsu did the same a few moments later. Like Irene, Retsu had also weighed her options. In the end, the decisive factors were that if she fought here, not only would she not get to eat Alfonzo's cooking ever again, but she might also damage the motorcycle Alfonzo built for her. And that would be a travesty. Especially since she had yet to ride it. 

"Good." Alfonzo said with a nod after both women had withdrawn their magic power. "Now, let's go inside. We've got a lot to celebrate today. Two new couples, Ed and Al's teacher and her husband coming to visit, and most importantly, the end of the work I had to do for the guilds." 

With cold sweat still dripping down their backs, Tsunade, Brandish, and everyone who just arrived from the guild smiled at Alfonzo's declaration. Then, as Alfonzo turned the escalade towards the bridge leading to his mansion, the others gathered together and started walking across the bridge as well. And while Alfonzo drove the Escalade into the underground garage, the rest made their way to the front door. 

By the time the larger group were inside, Cana, Ultear, Marin, Meredy, who was visiting Ultear, and Lucy were in the kitchen with Alfonzo, Gildarts, Ur, Wendy, Carla, and Alphonse, who was sitting at the kitchen table, discussing what just happened outside. 

"*Sigh* It's a good thing you could just levitate the entire vehicle with your magic, Kid." Gildarts said as he wiped some cold sweat off his forehead. "Otherwise, we wouldn't have made it here in time for you to stop them from destroying a big part of Magnolia." 

"Hmph!" Ur snorted at Gildarts. "Just a big part of the town? Hell, when they were done, there wouldn't' have been anything left." 

"Yeah, but how did things come to that?" Marin asked curiously. "I mean, I've spent about a week around Master Unohana. And she's so nice and gentle. What could have set her off like that?" 

"Well, why don't you ask her?" Alfonzo asked as he looked towards the entrance to the kitchen. "So, Master Unohana, inquiring minds wanna know. What made you so ready to fight with Irene? I mean, this is the second time you were ready to lose it today. Is there any bad blood between you I should know about?" 

At that moment, the rest of the people in the kitchen also turned their heads in the direction where the others entered from. And when they did, they saw Retsu smiling at Alfonzo. Though, her smile still seemed gentle, it put pressure on everyone present. Despite that, Alfonzo continued to stare Retsu in the eyes. 

"*Sigh* Fine." Retsu said, pouting adorably as she stopped with the gentle smile. "I'll talk to you about it later." 

"Sure, why not." Alfonzo replied with a shrug as he tied an apron around his waist. Then, he turned towards Mirajane as he continued. "Mira, come in here and help me. Things will go much faster with another set of hands." 

"Okay." Mirajane replied with a pleasant smile. 

While Mirajane hurried into the kitchen to help Alfonzo, all those aware of the horror of Mirajane's cooking were thoroughly flabbergasted when Alfonzo asked for her help. Everyone except for Erza, that is. 

"I can help, too, Alfonzo." Erza said as she stepped forward with her eyes sparkling in anticipation. "You taught me how to cook while we were in Onibus, too." 

"Not a chance in hell." Alfonzo replied without even turning around. "Although the sight of water in a pot being set ablaze is something I never grow tired of seeing, that won't help in this situation." 

During the two month trip to Onibus, Alfonzo spent very little time at the Blue Pegasus guild hall, outside of doing the work he had been commissioned to do. And that was mainly because Mirajane wanted to keep him away from Jenny due to her jealousy. 

So, other than having sex… a lot… Alfonzo spent some time teaching Erza, Mirajane, and Sun how to cook. And while Sun picked it up rather quickly and would have been the best choice to help him. Since Winry was here, Alfonzo decided to let her have her fun. 

Naturally, that left only Mirajane and Erza. However, just as Alfonzo said, Erza has absolutely no talent for cooking. Mirajane, on the other hand, had improved considerably. To the point that she was on the same level as Lisanna the last time she helped Alfonzo cook. 

In response to Alfonzo's blunt denial, Erza's eyes opened wide. Then, she stared at him with puppy dog eyes, the best way to make him change his mind in situations like these. Unfortunately for her, Alfonzo had gotten used to the girls' tactics over the years. So, he never even turned in Erza's direction after his denial. 

"Alfonzo, are you sure?" Elfman, with cold sweat dripping down his forehead, asked apprehensively. 

While Mirajane shot a glare at her younger brother, Alfonzo smiled reassuringly. 

"Don't worry, Elfman." Alfonzo said with a smile. "I've spent a lot of time over the last two months helping Mira improve. And unless she relapses to her old habits, you'll never have to go through any of her demonic taste tests again." 

"I hope you're right." Elfman replied, still sounding a bit skeptical. "Even a real man isn't built to handle that on a regular basis." 

"Just wait, Elfman!" Mirajane shouted, feeling challenged by her brother's mistrust. "I'll show you! I'll cook something that will knock your socks off. Then, you'll be begging me to cook for you all the time. But I won't. Instead, I'll leave you hanging with--- Mmph!" 

While Mirajane was working herself into a frenzy over Elfman's distrust, Alfonzo decided that he would change her focus by kissing her, quite deeply, at that. Then, after a few moments, Alfonzo separated from her. Meanwhile, Mirajane, dazed from the intense kiss, tried to reconnect her lips with Alfonzo's with her eyes closed. 

"Alright, Mira, it's time to get to work." Alfonzo said with a smile as he patted Mirajane on the butt while he moved to the sink to wash his hands. 

"Huh…? Wha…? Oh… Okay." Mirajane said absent-mindedly as she regained her senses. 

"I can help, too." Lisanna said excitedly. 

"Not this time, Lisanna." Alfonzo replied with a smile. "I know you wanna get better, but this celebration is partially for you. So, I can't let you help." 

"Oh, yeah, that's right." Lisanna said with a smile as she hugged Natsu's arm happily. 

Like that, Alfonzo, with Mirajane's help, made enough Chicken Parmesan, salad, and garlic bread for everyone in the mansion to have several servings. Meanwhile, the rest of the group went to the living room to chat and have a good time. Though, Retsu and Ireen made sure to keep a certain distance between them.