That's Why I Hate Humans

Earth Land, Ishgar, Kingdom of Fiore, Magnolia.

August, x774.

"Damn, that was really good." Ur said after finishing her breakfast.

Instead of responding, Gray and Ultear wore similar expressions of satisfaction as they rubbed their full bellies. Meanwhile, Gildarts smiled at the three of them smugly.

"I told you Alfonzo was a real wizard in the kitchen, didn't I?" Gildarts asked with his nose raised just a little bit higher.

*Smack!*

"Why are you looking so proud?" Makarov asked after smacking Gildarts upside the head with a giant hand. "It's not like you had anything to do with it."

"Ow... Can't I just be proud of my friend's kid?" Gildarts grumbled while rubbing the back of his head.

"Right..." Makarov replied while looking at Gildarts skeptically.

"Anyway, now that we've all eaten, we should get that leg of yours looked at." Gildarts said, clearly trying to change the subject. "You brought the frozen leg with you, right?"

Hearing Gildarts mention Ur's leg, Gray could not help but look down at the floor with a guilty expression on his face. Meanwhile, Ultear glared at Gray with quite a bit of hostility.

Seeing the children's reactions, however, Ur only patted Ultear on the head in a soothing gesture while she looked at Gray with a smile.

"Gray, I won't say anything that no one believes like, 'it's not your fault that my leg ended up like this'." Ur said while continuing to rub Ultear's head. "But if you want to repay me, stop being all mopey about it. Instead of that, you should be doing everything in your power to make yourself stronger. That way, nothing like this will happen again."

Hearing Ur's remarkable soothing tone, Gray could feel tears starting to well up in his eyes. However, feeling that it would be embarrassing to cry in public, he quickly wiped away at those tears with his hands. Then, he looked at Ur with determination in his eyes.

"Yes, Master." Gray said with a nod. "I'll train extra hard from now on. That way I won't put anyone I care about in danger again."

Hearing that, Ur's smile widened while Ultear glared at Gray with a message clearly visible in her eyes that said: "You better, otherwise you'll have to deal with me."

Watching the little exchange between Ur, her daughter, and her pupil, Makarov and Gildarts could not help but smile. From their gazes, it would be clear to anyone who was watching that they were thinking the same thing.

'These three will fit in with Fairy Tail perfectly.' Makarov and Gildarts thought simultaneously.

"Anyway, Ur, I think you should follow Gildarts to our healing specialist." Makarov said with a smile. "We can discuss the finer details of you and the children joining the guild later."

Nodding in response, Ur stood up from her seat at the bar. Then, she reached down and picked up her bag, the bag that carried her frozen, severed leg.

"And you two, Gray and Ultear. I think you should take some time to get to know the other kids." Makarov said, now addressing Gray and Ultear. "They're about to go outside to start their training, so it might be a good idea to observe them. Since you've been traveling for so long, I don't recommend training just yet. I'm sure the two of you are exhausted."

Instead of replying immediately, both Gray and Ultear looked at Ur for confirmation. When they received a nod, they looked back to Makarov.

"Okay." Ultear replied with a slightly shy nod.

"Sure." Gray replied with a casual nod.

"Oh, and before you go, you should probably get dressed, Gray." Makarov said with a chuckle.

"Huh?" Gray exclaimed before looking at his body. "Where are my clothes?"

After another quick chuckle while Gray hurried to put on his clothes, Makarov decided to lead Gray and Ultear out to the backyard while Gildarts led Ur toward Fairy Tail's healing expert, Porlyusica. To Ur's surprise, however, Gildarts actually led her out of the guild hall and to the east.

"Gildarts, where are we going?" Ur asked curiously.

"We're going to see Porlyusica." Gildarts replied. Then, in a slightly awkward tone, he continued. "She doesn't really like to be around people, so she lives in the forest, and her medical facilities are also in the forest."

"I see." Ur said with a bit of skepticism in her tone, she noticed the awkwardness in Gildarts' tone as he explained, after all.

Eventually, after walking for around fifteen minutes, Gildarts and Ur arrived in front of a massive tree that strangely enough had a front door. Then, as they stepped up to the door, Gildarts raised his righthand to knock.

*Knock!* *Knock!* *Knock!*

"Well, here we are." Gildarts said, taking a step back from the door.

A few moments later, the door was pulled open. Standing in the doorway was a tall, pink-haired, elderly woman with red eyes. Her hair was pulled back and tied into a bun on the back of her head and held together by two large pins with crescent moons on their ends. On her body, she wore a green blouse with a tie, a matching skirt, and a pair of simple shoes. Over top of all that, she wore a crimson red cape with a high collar and white arch-like motifs running along its edges.

Naturally this woman was Porlyusica. As soon as she opened the door, she noticed Gildarts and Ur, and she began frowning, immediately. Then, she let her discerning gaze run over both of the people standing outside her door. When she noticed that the lower leg of the woman was only a magical ice construct, her frown deepened.

"What do you want?" Porlyusica asked in an annoyed tone. "Make it quick, don't waste my time."

"We were hoping you could heal Ur's leg, Miss Porlyusica." Gildarts replied politely. "Quick, Ur, show her."

At Gildarts' insistence, Ur quickly reached into her bag and pulled out her frozen leg.

"It was cut off in a battle with a demon that was destroying villages in Isvan." Ur explained.

On their trip from Isvan, Gildarts had explained what Deliorra was. Although he could not be sure until he saw it, he recognized it as one of the demons created by Zeref as soon as he saw it. In the past, he had killed several of them, after all.

"Fine." Porlyusica said, stepping aside so that Ur could walk through the door. "Hurry up."

Following Porlyusica's instructions, Ur walked into the tree house. And just as Gildarts tried to follow her, Porlyusica blocked the doorway again.

"What's wrong, Miss Porlyusica?" Gildarts asked curiously.

However, before answering, Porlyusica reached a hand to the side of the door. Then, when she pulled it back, she was holding a broom that she swung at Gildarts' head.

"I should be asking you that question." Porlyusica said angrily. "It's clear that she will have to take off her pants so that I can examine her injury. Were you thinking of taking a peek, you perverted brat?"

*Bang!* *Bang!* *Bang!*

Over and over, Gildarts was hit with the broom. Each collision making a sound much louder than getting hit with a broom had any business to be.

"Okay, okay, I'll wait outside." Gildarts said while frantically trying to defend himself from the broom attack as he backed away from the house.

"Hmph!" Porlyusica snorted after she was comfortable with the distance that she had driven Gildarts back. "And if you break anything while you're waiting, I'll make you regret it."

*Bang!*

With that threat, Porlyusica slammed the door shut. While Gildarts was looking a bit dejected, Ur, from inside the house, could not help but giggle at the position Gildarts was put in.

"What are you laughing at?" Porlyusica asked, shooting a glare at Ur while walking past her. "Hurry up and follow me to the examination room. I swear, people like you two are the reason why I hate humans."

"Yes, Ma'am." Ur replied while straightening her back as she followed Porlyusica.

A few moments later, Porlyusica led Ur into an examination room. Then, she pointed to the bed.

"Take off your pants then sit down." Porlyusica ordered. "Oh, and dispel the ice."

Doing as she was ordered, Ur took of her pants, showing off her well-toned legs. Then, she took a seat on the bed and dispelled the ice that made up her fake leg and the ice around her severed leg. Immediately after she did so, Porlyusica first examined the severed leg. Then, without changing her expression, she began examining the stump at the end of Ur's right leg.

"*Sigh* Freezing the leg was a good idea." Porlyusica said after examining both parts of Ur's leg. "Unfortunately, the temperature was too low. Because you knew nothing about what you were doing, you killed all the tissue that made up your leg."

As she spoke, Porlyusica held up Ur's severed leg.

"Does that mean I'll have to keep making a leg out of ice?" Ur asked with a bit of disappointment.

"Is the head on your shoulders just there to make you look pretty?" Porlyusica asked in a scolding tone. "Why would you waste magic power like that when you can get a prosthetic?"

"A prosthetic?" Ur asked in a tone that made it clear that she had not even considered that option.

"This is why I hate humans, they never use their brains for anything meaningful. "I have a few designs for metal prosthetics in my office. You can choose one from them. Also, you should probably ask that boy, Alfonzo to help make it. From what Makarov told me, he's well on his way to becoming quite the magic item crafter."

"Alfonzo, as in Bianca's son?" Ur asked in a surprised tone. "The little boy that made breakfast for us at the guild?"

"Do you know another Alfonzo?" Porlyusica asked in an annoyed tone. "Just do what I said. Now hurry up and get out of here."

Quickly creating a new leg with her [Ice-Make Magic], Ur pulled on her pants before she made her way out of Porlyusica's examination room, and eventually her house.

When she was outside again, she saw Gildarts sitting under a tree while drinking from a bottle of liquor, he got from who knows where.

At the same time the door opened, Gildarts also noticed Ur coming.

"So, how did it go?" Gildarts asked with a slight slur to his speech.

"*Sigh* The leg can't be reattached." Ur said while shaking her head. "Apparently, I made my ice too cold when I froze it."

"Does that mean you'll have to keep making a fake leg out of ice?" Gildarts asked as he stood up.

"I asked Miss Porlyusica the same question." Ur said with a giggle. "And she scolded me for not using my head."

"What did she tell you to do, then?" Gildarts asked curiously.

"She said I should get a metal prosthetic instead of pointlessly wasting magic power." Ur replied. "And she said I should find Bianca's son to make it for me."

Hearing that, Gildarts put the bottle of liquor into his cloak. Then, he began stroking his stubbly beard in thought as they started walking back to the guild hall.

"Well, I guess that makes sense." Gildarts said with a nod. "With Alfonzo's [Metal Magic] and his training as a magical item crafter, he's definitely your best bet out of everyone in the guild. And since you'll be joining the guild, he'll probably even give you a discount."

'A discount?' Ur asked internally as she looked at Gildarts incredulously.

"Don't look at me like that." Gildarts said with a chuckle. "Not only Alfonzo, but even Elicia, Orlando's daughter, had the notion that wizards don't work for free etched into their minds. Something Bianca and Orlando taught them early, probably."

"Does that mean that the breakfast we ate wasn't free, either?" Ur asked, now much more curious about talking to the children of her old friends properly.

"Yeah, the old man probably paid for it." Gildarts replied. "I'm guessing it was more expensive, too. Since Alfonzo's shift in the kitchen should have been over by the time we arrived at the guild."

"I see." Ur replied.

"Oh, and you should probably take your daughter and pupil to see Elicia sometime soon, too." Gildarts said.

"Why?" Ur asked, her curiosity growing.

"Because Elicia makes clothes." Gildarts answered. "And with her [Thread Magic], she makes it look pretty damn easy. Plus, the clothes are really easy on the eyes, too. Although you'll probably have to pay for all of your own clothes, since you're an adult, I'm sure that she'd make a few sets for Ultear and Gray for free. But after that, you'll have to pay for any more."

With the topic switching to clothing, Ur's eyes lit up. In any world, most women love clothes and shopping, and Ur was no different.