CHAPTER 137

[Derek Hale POV]

In the empty loft of this building, other than the ticking clock and the slightly drizzle clattering against the skylight. 

Memories flashed through my head in images and painful sensations; all of them a collection of my long past and recent failures. 

With the natural symphony playing around me as a therapeutic stimulation, I punched the wrapped pillar in room as a make-do punching bag as I vented out the dark emotions in my mind. 

Laura. 

My sister who got killed by my own delirious uncle, my best friend, and then was sawn in half as a bait to bring me back to Beacon Hills. 

Isaac and Erica. 

My first betas, both choose as a medium to protect myself and to reestablish the Hale Pack, only for me to loose them to a deranged racist old man who tortured them for his own sick pleasure and had me watch him and would sometimes even replay recordings of their screams just to get a rise out of me. 

Cora. 

My little sister who, for the past 6 years and counting, I thought had burned in the fire. What would have been a heartening reunion turned into her torture after she was captured by Deucalion when she tried returning back to Beacon Hills after hearing of the reemergence of an Hale Pack. 

And then I lost Erica again, almost lost Isaac too, and subjected her to another torture under Deucalion. 

Failure after failure. An Alpha that couldn't even protect one of his beta and found it hard to stand against another Alpha. Even amongst Alphas , am I this pathetically weak? 

Now Deucalion is coming after Scott and here I am conflicted on what to do. Leave, shamefully run away, or stay and fight, risking the lives of all my betas and my sister in a matter of pride. 

"Um, I'm fine letting you punch away for as much as you like if it means ending you being constantly grumpy, but at this point you'll just bring down the whole building."

My fists stopped just inches away from the pillar as I took in slow breaths to calm the bundle of heat in my body. 

"Did I wake you up?" 

Cora snorted with a mild glare. "You think I could sleep with all that slamming you've been doing for hours?"

Now that she mentioned it, I looked at the time and saw that five hours had gone by with the time now being a few minutes after 11pm. 

Sigh. "I'm sorry. It's just that I've been troubled by a lot of things."

She rolled her eyes and patted beside her for me to sit down and when I did, she took my hands and started unwrapping the cloth tied around it. 

"I can't even begin to imagine what you have to deal with but I can't tell that it's not good. I can't even tell you to rely on us because if we are being realistic, we really have no way of helping you. There."

I threw my hand around her and drew her in before she could make any protest and held her in there until her futile resistance melted away. 

"Are you trying to cheer me up or to make yourself depressed again?" I asked with a find smile on my face as I softly brushed her hair. It was something I had no recollection of ever doing to her and I could feel her stiff awkwardness but I didn't care. 

"Mmn mmn. Just trying to be a voice of reason." She muttered softly. 

"Got any reasonable tips for me then?" I asked jokingly and she turned quiet for a brief moment before saying something that I've been contemplating for weeks now. 

"Why can't we just leave, Derek?" It was a heartfelt question from her part, I understood, but for me the answer was in no way an easy choice to make. 

I gave her my other hand to untie the wraps while my freed hand idly combed through her air. "It's not that easy for me, Cora."

She hummed. "Because of Scott, right?" She asked and I nodded with a sigh. 

Scott was just one of the reasons, one of the big ones in fact, why I still find it hard to just pack up and leave Beacon Hills. 

Erica and Isaac are more than happy enough to leave Beacon Hills as soon as I mention the word, but Scott is different. His entire life is rooted in Beacon Hills and he can't just leave it behind, not when it means leaving his mother, his friends, and all the people he has grown up with. 

"And I'm thinking you don't like the idea of having Satomi take him under her protection, right?" I could only let out a wry chuckle at that question. 

Choices and decisions. Each more complicated than the one before. 

I felt Cora standing up and giving me a reassuring tap on my shoulders. "You know, it's kinda cool that you, my very own brother, are now an Alpha. And as much as I would love to drag you away from this cursed place, I'll stick around with my Alpha, until the point where I feel like he's over his head and at that point I don't care if I have to drug you and stuff you in the trunk of my car, I will drag your ass out of Beacon Hills."

I laughed as she left me with that. "I'll hold you to that." It was a respite I very much needed, but not one that made choosing between my options any easier. 

... 

[Elias' House]

Brett drove Tristan and Malia to Elias' house where Satomi was waiting for them. She has been moving around more frequently than she normally did and while everyone took notice, no one said anything. 

The tension within the pack wasn't thick or anything of the sorts because of the safety Satomi assured them. Unlike Derek, the experienced Alpha was not afraid of Deucalion. While that in no way suggested who was stronger between the two of them, it made the pack members live without pressure with the relative sense of security and trust they had in Satomi. 

"I swear, Tristan. You've caused my old bones more exercise in the last few months than they got in the last ten years." Elias joked in an old fashioned goodhearted elderly way as he saw how awkwardly skittish the boy was when they came in. 

It was a commendably worthy thing how the boy could remain calm in the most strenuous and life threatening situations, but at the end of the day one had to remember that he was nothing but a teenager who has experienced life for less than half number of years he has been alive. 

The door to the house opened and Satomi came in with a guest. 

"Elias. Hope you're in good health." Deaton greeted the old man who just smiled and waved it off. 

"As much good health as my age can afford me." He said while fumbling with the remote control to switch the channels on the TV screen. 

"I see. All is good then." Deaton said, before turning to Tristan who was absentmindedly rapidly tapping his feet against the floor. "How's life as an Alpha vampire been for you, Tristan. Satomi-san told me what happened and insisted I come along."

Tristan exhaled listlessly and recounted what had happened, bringing frowns to the faces of the adults. 

"What do you think, Alan?" Satomi asked. 

Deaton looked at all of them present and started. "It can be a few things, honestly speaking. As an Alpha, your senses are more attuned to nature in a way that surpasses that of any other creature not of the same level. It could be that your subconscious is reacting to something it has already perceived, something so dreadful that you would rather kill yourself than experience it again in any way."

"So some sort of psychic precognition? It could be given his empathetic senses." Satomi supplemented. 

Deaton nodded. "You're right. Some texts describe vampires as harbingers of death, bringing rains of blood and terror to anywhere they pass through."

He then added another point of consideration. "It could also be that the inner consciousness of his vampire side is trying to tell him something given his growing instincts, especially now that he had evolved, and the duller part of his subconscious is rejecting it. A clash of subconscious personalities."

"Why would my subconscious be in conflict?" Tristan asked. 

At this, Deaton looked at Satomi before looking at Tristan. "It is probably because you have not grown as a vampire, given how you've been living and emulating the lifestyle of werewolves, at least to a certain extent. It's like this; one part of your subconscious has gotten used to the fact that like other members of your pack, you should exhibit the same traits like them such as howling, running on all fours, or maybe even going through an emotional instability during the full moon – which doesn't have that effect on vampires as much as I know of – and maybe a few others. All hypothetical by the way."

The entire room could only look on silently at Deaton who was doing his best to tell what he knew of. 

"Anything else?" Satomi asked after Deaton finished speaking but looked as if he wanted to say something. 

Deaton scratched his head, not comfortable with what he wanted to say but knew he had to say it. "I'm afraid it's a bit intrusive, Satomi-san."

"Say your mind, Alan. I was the one who asked for your aid." 

Getting her go-ahead, Deaton's face gained a solemn cast as he spoke. "It is something that has been bothering me concerning Tristan's words and reaction to certain events before they happen; like sensing the unnatural air when Peter went on a rampage, when the Alpha Pack attacked Erica, the crows at the school, and also how he said he sometimes randomly wakes up at night."

Satomi could already tell where Deaton was going with this but she didn't say anything and let him continue. 

"I can confidently tell you that a vampire like Tristan, even vampires in general, have the loosest connection to nature given their abominable-though-obscured origin, which makes it even interesting given that you visited me out of the blue a few years back when we first sensed the shift in the energy lines flowing through Beacon Hills."

"It's a hypothetical thought of mine but I feel that Tristan's past has something to do with this. He can very well be the very thing the change in the lines is fighting against."

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