Where Are You?

Bella didn't mean to keep a secret about her wedding from Mariel and Brenda. At the time she just didn't feel too enthusiastic about the wedding. The same goes for her plan of marriage annulment. Instead of being neutral like Christine, the two of them would probably have tried to prevent Bella from proceeding with the annulment. Because Mariel and Brenda were born and grew up in a small community. They went to college only as far away as Portland. Both of them thought that marriage was something sacred. A way out of life that must be defended at all costs. Her friends were very traditional. As were their parents and Bella's parents. Even Aunt Ruth who never married in her life.

And then there was Reef. She didn't want to open up too much to him. Not until she could understand that her feelings for Reef were not just a remnant of past passion and sexual attraction.

Therefore, she was surprised when Reef mentioned Nathan Wilford. Nathan is the cousin of Arthur Wilford, Carter's father. Reef calls him Uncle Nath. He was present at Carter and Bella's wedding, and gave them as a wedding gift an apartment in which Carter lived when he was in Miami, but Bella rarely visited.

"How do you know Nathan Wilford?" asked Tom. "You're also in the food business?"

"Food business is your specialty. I'll let you do it. Food is not my forte, unless I put it in my stomach." Reef chuckled. "Wilford and I met at a business seminar in Canada a year ago. He's a competent person and knows his stuff. I have a lot of respect for that guy."

"I heard he has family in America," Tom said. "His brother or his cousin married an American woman."

This time, Bella choked. She put down her glass and coughed.

"Hey Bel, what's wrong with you?" Next to her Reef reached out to Bella's back and patted her gently.

It's okay. I'm choking." Bella's voice was hoarse. "Thanks." She turned to Reef, thanked him for the gentle pat on the back, and pushed her plate away. Her appetite had disappeared instantly.

The dinner continued with pleasant conversation, without bringing up Nathan Wilford again. However, Bella was already feeling uneasy. When it was time to go home, she felt a little relieved. At least, when she got home she would go straight to bed to forget her worries.

However, Bella couldn't go straight to her room, because Reef intercepted her. "You were quiet in the car. Is something wrong?"

"I'm fine. Don't worry. It's just fatigue."

"Don't write late at night, Bel. You need to take care of your health. Lack of sleep makes your eyes sunken." Reef reached out his hand, his fingertips gently touching Bella's eye bags. "You know how your eye sockets can even be filled with Halloween candies?"

Reef and his bad humor. She brushed Reef's hand away, and Bella laughed. "You're ridiculous! I can just imagine going around yelling at every door. Trick or treat! And them throwing candy in my face."

However, Reef did not hear Bella's words. His gray eyes looked at Bella who then smiled at him. "I'm glad to see you laughing," Reef said. Her hand touched Bella's face again. "Back then, you laughed a lot. I always remember every funny thing you laughed at."

"Oh, Reef. That was a long time ago. Life isn't always the same. As we get older, the burdens get heavier, don't they?"

"I don't know, Bel. Since you left me, time seems to have stopped. The pain is still there. You're saying I don't want to forgive you? I want to, Bella. But I can't." Reef's palms cupped Bella's face. It felt warm and reassuring. "Teach me how to forgive you, Bella. Can you?"

What am I feeling? Bella thought. There was a warm feeling coursing through her veins. There was a thumping in her chest, smooth as a thousand butterfly wings flapping inside. Reef stood very close. His gray eyes stared sadly.

"I don't know how. But I hope, during my stay here with you, you find your own way. To be honest, I'm also looking for a way to forgive myself for hurting you."

"Then let us teach each other," Reef whispered. One hand slipped behind Bella's back and grabbed her hips to hold her close. Reef's other hand now traced Bella's face and stopped at her lips.

"I'm glad you're not into the lip filler trend," Reef said. His eyes were glued to those lips. Bella held her breath. She knew what Reef was going to do, but this time she didn't want to submit. Not yet.

"Reef, we can't keep doing this," Bella said.

"Doing what?" Reef's eyes were still glued to Bella's lips.

"Like this. You seduce me, shortly afterward you get angry, then you seduce me again."

"I haven't gotten angry since you came over last night."

"Yeah. But sooner or later you're going to get angry at me for some of the things I said, that you weren't happy with."

"I'm that bad, huh?"

"I told you, try to forgive me, Reef. Please forgive me. I'm also tormented by my guilt towards you."

"Bella...."

"My coming here wasn't solely because I wanted this house." Bella began to sob. She shook Reef's arm "Please, can you forgive me? Really sincerely forgive me, and also my father? Can you forget everything my father said to you? He already admitted to being too hard on you that time. He regrets it, even though he didn't say it openly."

"Bella, darling...." Reef, who could never bear to see a woman cry, was touched. "Bella, I told you, I don't know how to."

"Then, tell me the next condition!"

"No, Bel. Stay with me for one week, then I'll tell you."

Reef kissed the top of Bella's head, then released her embrace. He left Bella in tears, leaning against the wall of the sitting room.

****

The next morning Bella wakes up and Reef has already left for the office. On the dining table she finds a paper with Reef's message, apologizing that he was delayed at the morning staff meeting so he didn't have time to wake Bella up.

Bella opens Aunt Ruth's old fridge out of habit, and finds nothing edible. She moved to the newer fridge, and there was nothing there but white bread and peanut butter.

"Oh, shit!" she grumbled. What kind of house runs out of food in its fridge when the owner can buy the entire supermarket? If that had happened at her house, Aunt Ruth would have been furious and brought it up for a week.

Bella decided to go shopping that day. She would make a delicious lunch, and maybe she would stop by Reef's office with some of her cooking to let him know that his guests had managed to survive despite being left without food.

She smiled at the thought that Reef would probably eat his food with a scowl on his face. Reef did not like being told that he did not treat a person well. However, that might not apply if the person is Bella Ross. Maybe Reef had intentionally played a prank on her that morning.

The rental car had arrived since yesterday. A red city car, parked inside the garage with three other cars. Reef had enlarged the old garage so that it could now fit five cars at once. However, her cell phone rang just as she was about to get into the car. She glanced at the screen and winced.

A voice pierced her ears as she picked it up. "Bella, where are you?"

****