9.02

"Good morning. First day back, honey." Mark pressed a kiss to his sleepy wife's cheek. "Excited?"

Helena groaned a bit, as she was woken up, then turning in her bed to kiss her husband's lips. "Uh, I guess." She let out, her voice sleepy.

"Are you sure you wanna get back this quick? I'm still gonna stay home for two more weeks, I'm still not cleared to go back to work." Mark questioned, as the small girl rubbed her eyes.

"Yeah, I- Arizona needs someone she knows to run the peds service." She explained as she got up from her bed, pulling on an old T-shirt.

"That's not what I asked, doll. Do you to?" He corrected, as Helena moved to their wardrobe, pulling out some jeans and a sweatshirt.

"I..." She trailed off, as she stared at the wall. "I don't really know what I want anymore." Then, she turned back to Mark, putting on a small, sweet smile. "But I'm thinking maybe getting back to normal will help. I-I just can't lay in bed all day anymore, j-just thinking about it."

"Ok." Mark agreed, though his eyes were filled with worry.

The small girl moved closer to him, pressing a kiss to his lips. "Now, get back to sleep. You just got discharged, you need to rest. I'll get home early to take you to physical therapy, ok?"

"I love you, Lee." He exhaled. This time, it was filled with something more, something like 'thank you for not being dead'.

"I love you, too. Call me if you need anything."

——

At lunch, Helena sat with Meredith and Jackson, picking at her salad as she muttered. "It's so weird. I was half expecting everyone to still be here when I got back."

"I know." Meredith chuckled. "It's been like this for the past days, it's way too quiet."

"It's like half of us have left." Jackson agreed. "First Cristina, then April..."

"You really doing the intern appy?" Alex asked, sitting by the group and talking to the blond.

"Oh, is that today?" Helena perked up in her chair. "I mean, it's only the interns' third day, right?"

"Yeah, well, ours was in our first shift." The blond shrugged, before turning to the ortho resident. "Jealous?"

"He's too busy just doing the interns." Jackson teased, a small smile forming in Helena's lips. "I guess some things never do change, uh?"

"Are you gonna say goodbye to your fan club before you leave?" Meredith asked, Alex sassing right back.

"I've been saying goodbye all day." He fist bumped the other man. "They're gonna be sad to see me go, you might have to step up, Avery. Comfort them a little."

"No sloppy seconds for me, thank you." Jackson shot right back.

"You're a surgical fellow. Might as well enjoy the perks."

"Oh, see, that's just wrong." Helena complained, taking another bite of her food. "Sounds an awful lot like an abuse of power."

"Come on, Lena. He hasn't banged anybody since Lexie." Alex shrugged, making the air grow thick as Helena readjusted in her chair. "Sorry, Mer."

Bellow the table, Helena gently bumped her knee against the blond, as a show of support.

As much as Helena Campos wanted everything to be the same, it most certainly was not.

——

Helena had been getting stares all day. Stares of pity, of curiosity, of concern. Stares from everyone. And all she could say was that it certainly wasn't pleasant. She has grown used to some stares, she had a girlfriend at sixteen and was in a shooting, after all.

But these stares were too much. They were like going through her grief and pain while being watched by everyone.

Besides Arizona and Mark, she had been the only one who hadn't gone back to work yet. She had had to take some time off, first because of her starvation and sleep deprivation, then because Mark was in a coma, and finally because she was in no emotional state to return. Not after loosing her baby, her friend and almost loosing her husband.

So she's stayed home.

She'd gone to her Henry's burial, the hardest thing she ever had to do. To see, the little coffin his body was in and the tears that fell from her husband's eyes when she talked to him after.

Mark couldn't attend the burial, he was still too weak. She couldn't possibly ask her friends to go with her, not after everything they'd been through too. So Helena went by herself, and, as she broke down, there was no one to hold her.

As the girl showed Mark a picture of their little boy, per his request, she thought her heart would burst at how tight it fell. Helena didn't see Mark cry often, not like that, and it broke her to see the man she loved in such a state. Now, the tiny coffins that plagued her dreams weren't only of her patients.

Then, her family had paid her a visit. Her mother and brother had stayed for a few of days, Ana had cooked for them when Helena could barely get out of bed and Mark was still admitted in the hospital. She had cuddled and comforted her like when she was a child, and Daniel had slept in her bed like when they were little. They went to visit Mark together, as Helena appreciated the company. The family got to know Alice, too, and the baby was delighted with her grandmother and uncle. She'd even taken her first steps, right around her first birthday.

Meredith and Cristina had gone to visit her several times too, the blond first, after being discharged, then the brunette, after leaving the state the crash had left her in. Still, they could tell it wasn't the same. It wasn't the same for either of them, they had all lost too much. And when Cristina left for Minnesota, they were left with FaceTime dance parties.

The day before Mark returned home, however, Helena promised herself that she'd pull herself back together. The love of her life had gone through the same loss as her, and he had the added on weight of having been terribly injured. So she needed to be strong for him, she needed to take care of her husband.