Chapter Three

I made my way through the surprisingly quiet hospital halls in hopes to not draw too much attention to myself. In just the matter of hours I already Owen Hunt watching me carefully for any clues to why I was here, a resident or intern worried that she'd hurten me worse than just a cut on my head, and an attending trying to get information out of me to why I was here at Mark's bedside. I knew by coming here it'd draw attention to me, that didn't mean I was preparred for it or happy about it in even the slightest. If anything it probably made it even worse.

My sneakers squeaked against the tile floors, alerting anyone close by that someone was coming their way. I had a slight headache coming on from not numbing my head before stiching it up but I did my best to ignore it as I searched for the room number that the nurse had told me. Even though I had the room number I couldn't help but glancing in the open rooms to make sure that it wasn't Derek in one of the ones I passed by. None of them were him though, I didn't know whether to be relieved by that or not. I came up to the last room on the left side of the hall and through the cracked door I saw the man I was looking for.

Derek Shepard.

He looked so much older than the last time I'd seen him. I knew this was to be suspected after more than five years but it was still hard to see how much older he looked. His mane of black hair was messy and had the starts of it graying in it, I remember when women would throw themselves at him just for the hair. I wonder if that's changed even though he's married? His usually somewhat tanned skin seemed a little pale, in a sickly way, and the wrinkles in the corners of his eyes only seemed to age his apperance even more. He wore a normal hospital gown and had a bandaged hand propped up on a pillow with an IV in the other one. Even though he was also covered by a hospital blanket I could see that he'd lost weight from being stuck in the woods for days without any food. It broke my heart to see such a strong willed and big hearted man so weak and damaged. How could this happen to the strongest men I knew?

I opened the door slightly and made sure to close it behind me before making my way over to the empty chair next to his hospital bed. It felt strange being here. Sure, I knew Derek and at one time we'd been like family but since he moved here I haven't spoken to him once. I only knew that he was married with a daughter because Mark had told me about it. I wonder if Mark relayed my life to Derek like he did to me about his life? If he were awake would Derek even want me here?

I tried to shake the many questions from my mind as I took Derek's good hand in both of mine. His hand was warm and little sweaty, he probably had an infection that they were trying to rid him of through medicine in the IV. I rubbed my thumb along the back of his hand as I just watched him, being careful of the IV. If I believed in God I would be praying right now for their recovery, but I don't believe. I haven't believed in God since I was little, when I prayed for one thing but was ignored. I haven't prayed or stepped inside a curch since then.

"Meredith?" A tired voice croaked and I snapped my head up and looked up at Derek. His eyes fluttered open slightly as he squeezed my hand before looking over at me. His eyes widened just the slightest as he realized that I wasn't his wife. "Bria?"

"Hey there old man," I gave him a small smile as I squeezed his hand back. "I thought we had a deal not to stick metal through our hands?"

"I don't remember that," he gave a weak laugh at my joke. "Looks like I broke that deal though, what do you win?"

"We'll figure that out later." I laughed with him.

"What are you doing here?" He asked.

"Do you really think I wouldn't show up when I heard what happened?" I put my free hand over my heart in mock hurt.

"You didn't come after the shooting." His words made my smile vanish and guilt fill me. I'd heard about the hospital shooting the day it happened and had planned on coming right out here. Before I got on the plane though Mark had called me, telling me that Derek was shot but would be okay. He told me not to worry about coming out and that he'd call me if anything changed. Just like every other time I listened to Mark and stayed home.

"I know," I whispered as I rubbed my thumb against his hand again. "I'm here now though and I'm not leaving until you're both okay and healthy again."

"Thanks for the warning," he teased.

"If you weren't a patient I'd kick your ass." I scowled at him which only caused him to give another weak laugh.

"What about work? I'm sure they need their top surgeon back." He frowned. I opened my mouth to answer but I quickly shut it again when I heard the door open behind me. I turned around to see a woman that looked a few years older than me standing in the open doorway. She had long dirty blonde hair pulled up into a messy ponytail and had tired brown eyes. A smile filled her lips when she saw that Derek was awake but her experssion grew confused when she saw me sitting next to him holding his hand.

"Who are you?" She questioned me.

"Bria, I'm a friend of Derek's." I introduced myself as I let go of Derek's hand and quickly got up to my feet. "You must be his wife, Meredtih?"

"How did you know I was married?" Derek questioned me. I guess Mark didn't tell him that we were still talking.

"Mark told me." I shrugged like it was no big deal before looking back at Meredtih. She seemed to be even more confused now as she looked between her husband and I. "It was nice to meet you Meredith but I should be getting back to Mark's room. It was nice to see you again Derek, I'll come back by tomorrow some time."

"Good, we need to talk." Derek's voice had a firm sound to it to tell me that there was no arguing with him about this. I only nodded before leaning down a kissing the top of his head before hurrying past Meredith and out of the room. I heard the door close behind me but I didn't look back as I headed back down the halls in the direction of Mark's room. When his room came into sight I saw that someone was in it. A woman with long black hair was holding his hand and she seemed to be crying. From pictures he'd sent me I recognized her as Callie, his daughter's mother. Instead of going back into the room I stood back and tried my best not to watch them.

"I see you got your head patched up." A familiar voice spoke up. I looked to see the blue eyed doctor from earlier standing a few feet away from me. "Who helped you?"

"Your supply room." I informed him and watched as a look of surprise filled his eyes.

"Only staff is supposed to be in those." He informed me of one of the most obvious rules at any hospital. I've never been one to follow rules though.

"You mean doctors?" I resist the urge to smile as he sets down the chart he'd been looking over before and really looks at me. I knew everyone was confused as to why I was here, everyone except for Derek and, when he's awake, Mark.

"Ones that work here." He seemed to catch onto the hole I was trying to make in his 'rule'. "I take it you're a doctor though?"

"Pediatric surgeon." I proudly answered as I glanced back at Mark's room to see Callie still there. I knew that she loved and cared about Mark and wanted to be there for him but at the same time I wanted her to leave. She had him ALL the time with him, I wanted some time with him.

"Where do you work?" He asked.

"As of today?" I looked at him again, he seemed to be craving some sort of info on me. Most likely so he could search me and figure out who I exactly was and how I knew Mark. "None of your damn business."

"Avery!" Someone down the hall called and the man looked to see another guy watching us. He looked about the same age as the guy I was talking to, apparently 'Avery', he looked to be the same height with short brown hair and wore dark blue scrubs too.

"Excuse me," 'Avery' hurried down the hall to meet his co worker so I was alone again. I looked back at Mark's room to see that Callie was gone now. I made my way back to Mark's room, feeling eyes on me the whole way.