313. Snoop Dog ~Dolomite Cometh~

Nick shakes his receiver. "Gabrielle!? Gabrielle!" He shakes the receiver again. "Gabrielle!?"

*sniff...*

Monroe smells the air.

"Uh... Nick? We have company," said Monroe.

Monroe woges into a Blutbad.

Victoria woges into a Nekomata Black-Eyes.

Iggy growls and prepares her sand Stand.

Raphael beats his chest and plants his seeds on the ground, tossing them all over.

Nick takes out his axes.

Foo Fighters transforms into her Stand form.

Bruce turns on his Iron Knight armor.

Peter turns on his Iron Spider suit.

*thud... thud... thud...*

An extremely large and incredibly muscular man appears. He has long hair, is only wearing shorts, and has a twelve-pack. He is 7 feet tall. He is incredibly detailed in terms of the body, and his muscles are incredibly firm. He has gigantic pecks that are bigger than their heads. He has massive biceps, triceps, quadriceps, and other "ceps," each having "ceps" of their own. He also has nice buttocks. He posed strangely like a supermodel, with one of his feet tip-toeing forward and the other tip-toeing backward, with his arm diagonally down.

"Whoa..." said Monroe. "You're tall..." He growls and barks.

Nick sighs. "What the hell are you?"

It Erstewoges, revealing a rock-like creature with fangs.

"So... that's a PIllar-Man..." said Nick.

"Yep..." said Victoria.

It roars and charges. It reveals a faceless black Stand with only a large grin from phantom ear to ear containing sharp teeth and foam. It has purple stripes on the side of its torso and its armpits. It is even larger than the Pillar-Man, being 9 feet tall. It has a purple cloth over its private area.

"DORO!!!"

The Stand blasts its fists into Monroe's face and Monroe is thrown several meters away. Monroe slides on his feet and his claws and keeps his standstill. He snarls. "What the hell is he!?" he asked in a badass wolf voice.

"Pillar-Man," said Victoria. "An extinct race of Rock Cryptids who died out thousands of years ago. I can't believe one is still alive."

He roars and charges toward Nick.

Nick tosses his ax into the creature's head, but his ax bounces off it.

The creature then evolves its skin into scales and tosses spikes at Nick. Nick curves each of their trajectories away using his Weather Report's winds.

"How the hell do we beat that!?"

"Hamon!" it exclaimed, as it punches Nick over and over with its own fists along with its Stands fists. "DORO DORO DORO DORO DORO DORO DORO DORO!!! DORO!!!"

Nick barely blocked all of it and is tossed several meters away. He topples on the ground, bloody and bruised. He gains fractures in his ribs.

Iggy begins to trap it with sand by chaining it on the ground. The Pillar-Man growls and tries to break free.

Raphael also traps him with his vines.

Bruce tossed Shattered Stars at it and Peter helped Iggy by webbing the Pillar-Man into the ground.

*PEW!!!*

*PEW!!! PEW!!! PEW PEW PEW!!! PEW!!!*

Foo Fighters shoots bioluminescent algae at it.

"We'll probably beat this guy," whispered Victoria. Victoria has an idea. "Probably... he enters space after this... and we'll hold him off for now until the time comes."

Monroe runs on all fours and leaps toward it, but it teleports away immediately.

*SPLAT!!!*

Monroe whines out of fear and pain. He looks down and sees that there's a hole in his chest.

The Pillar-Man pulls its hand out of Monroe's chest and Monroe falls on the ground.

"MONROE!!!" cried Nick.

But Monroe is regenerated by Foo Fighters' algae, which crawl on Monroe's chest.

Monroe gasps for breath and slowly stands up.

The Pillar-Man teleports in front of Nick. Suddenly, Nick feels a sharp pain all over his body. Suddenly, his bones are broken and he is tossed several meters away.

Nick rolls on the ground like a ragdoll as the Pillar-Man kicks him over and over.

Bruce grabs onto the Pillar-Man's neck and beats it over and over again.

He sprays lead all over its face and grabs Nick, flying away.

Peter then thwips its face as it screams out of annoyance. It evolves and sprays acids with its eyes, melting Peter's webbing.

"F.F.," said Bruce. "Heal Nick."

Bruce gives Nick to Foo Fighters' arms. She heals his bones.

Nick lies next to Monroe.

"Holy crap, Nick," said Monroe. "Why does he keep teleporting."

"No... You don't realize..." said Nick. "There wasn't any time between his teleports... and he punched me between the moment he was charging at me and when he was right before me." 

"You don't think?" asked Monroe.

"Yeah..." said Nick. "Bruce!"

Bruce dodges the Pillar-Man's fists and its Stand's fists using his Stand Tracker in his goggles.

"What!?" asked Bruce.

"He's a Time-Stopper!" yelled Nick.

Bruce's eyes widen.

Peter's Spider-Sense tingles in his head. "MR. WAYNE!!!"

The creature then grabs Bruce by the neck.

"I..." said the creature. "...am Dolomite!"

Dolomite takes out his fist and creates a squirrel out of it. The squirrel leaps toward Bruce's chest.

Peter's Spider-Sense tingles once more.

*THWIP!!!*

Peter thwips the squirrel onto the ground, and the squirrel glows red eyes and melts the web with acid.

"Holy fucking shit!" yelled Peter.

Dolomite regenerates a new fist and transforms his fist into the tail of an ankylosaurus.

"Oh, shit-..." said Bruce.

*BANG!!!*

Bruce is tossed several meters away with his armor breaking into pieces. "RAUGH!!!"

He doesn't stop.

"NACHTBLUT!!!" yelled Monroe.

Suddenly, Bruce's duration stops. Monroe's Stand catches Bruce.

"Bruce's time resumed!" yelled Monroe. Monroe and Bruce are then thrown a few more meters away.

Bruce gasps in relief, landing and rolling safely. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," nodded Monroe.

Peter's robot goggles widen. "Uh... Hey! Dolomite, right? I'm your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man!"

Dolomite's Stand, Snoop Dog, blasts its fist toward Peter.

Peter senses this and he backflips backward.

Snoop Dog blasts its fists at Peter over and over again, and Peter keeps on dodging by backing away and jumping around out of fear.

Raphael and Iggy help out by using their Stands to incapacitate it, but it breaks free and throws both of them several meters away. 

Dolomite growls. "ARACHNID!!!"

Dolomite then breathes fire and blasts it at Peter.

"PHOSPHOROUS SALIVA!?" asked Peter.

Dolomite stops time.

Time resumes.

Peter's eyes widen and he realizes something.

Dolomite is behind Peter and prepares to hammer his own fists toward Peter.

Bruce grabs Peter and dodges the attack Dolomite offers.

Dolomite roars at Bruce and Peter.

"RAUGH!!!" roared Dolomite.

Dolomite charges toward Bruce and Peter.

Bruce takes out his watch and presses it.

A loud ringing noise occurs and Nick and Victoria cover their ears out of pain. Monroe woges and howls.

The creature screeches and decides to melt its own ears.

Bruce smiles. "Idiot.Nick! Electrocute him!"

Nick uses his Stand to severely electrocute Dolomite, but Dolomite morphs rubber all over his skin.

"Shit..." sighed Bruce.

Dolomite then spams time stops and blasts his fists at Bruce and Peter, beating them over and over as scraps of their metal armor come flying out of their bodies.

The pair are thrown away.

Foo Fighters ran towards them, and Dolomite realizes that Foo Fighters is helping them. It roars and chases after her.

*POW!!!*

Nick, flying, lands a dropkick into Dolomite's face.

He begins to spark with electricity.

Weather Report appears behind Nick.

Nick's eyes are black and he is pale white.

"Crap..." said Monroe. "EVERYONE TAKE COVER!!!"

Foo Fighters finishes healing Bruce and Peter and grabs both of them.

Foo Fighters gathers everyone into her body and she creates a stone dome barrier around them. "We'll be safe here," she told them.

Iggy pants in exhaustion.

Nick spams lightning at Dolomite's face, but it doesn't work.

Nick then spams rain at Dolomite.

The powerful lightning breaks the receiver in Nick's pocket.

The rain transforms into icicles and slowly stabs and freezes Dolomite.

"How... dare you..." he whispered. "I am... above you... a mere Grimm..."

Nick stays silent and spams more icicles raining at Dolomite, each freezing it on the ground.

A crunching sound could be heard... Then a snap. A loud rip then occurs as a splash of blood splatters all over the ice, also freezing.

 Dolomite tears its own body in half to break free as it regenerates.

Foo Fighters creates a window made of super-heated glass as the group watches along.

"Whatever that is, it isn't a person anymore," said Bruce. "It's a force of nature... It only believes in one thing, and that's destruction and chaos."

Dolomite roars in rage like an animal.

"Is this the plan of the Rock Humans?" asked Peter. "To make everyone into that!?"

"No... Not exactly," said Bruce, squinting his eyes. "But you're close..."

"What is he?" asked Iggy, in their heads.

"He is a Pillar-Man," said Raphael. "According to the books that Gabrielle and I found... They're immortal beings created by the Fortisites as powerful slave soldiers and gladiators. They are incredibly powerful. Years ago, they only lived on the dark side of the moon and were humans experimented on by the Dark Gems living as toys for entertainment. They fought each other vigorously and fought for the Dark Gems. Meanwhile, their other counterparts who can survive under the sun, the Rock Humans, worked as workers and slaves for the Dark Gems. However, one day, they rebelled and flew a spaceship to Earth along with some Rock Humans. Most of their population was genocided by the Dark Gems. They hid in caves during the day or hibernated as rocks by the day and dwelled among the humans at night, feeding on any life form. They can sustain temperatures between 980 degrees and -250 degrees celsius. Male humans and female Pillar-Men can interbreed, but it is unknown for the vice versa, like Rock Humans. They live forever. They eat anything except oranges. They like drinking blood. Their eggs are laid inside of animals and people which they act as parasites until hatching. They also have a pack mentality and often appear with other Pillar-Men. They tend to bully Rock Humans. They do not fear Grimms."

"So... the New Locacaca turns them into Pillar-Men?" asked Victoria.

"Not just Pillar-Men... Ultimate Beings... Creatures that evolved beyond the Pillar-Man," said Raphael. "The New Locacaca is made of the same material as the Red Stone of Aja, which absorbs enough Hamon in the air. The material is known as gravity, and it absorbs everything that exists, mostly light. It is contained in a red stone somehow by an ancient Roman named Aja. The gravity in the red stone is immense."

"Gravity, huh?" asked Victoria. "What if..." she whispered. "My probability ability did not work... So the only thing that could kill a Pillar-Man is this stone. Or... absolute gravity..."

"Wait..." said Bruce. He types something into the wrist.

"What?" asked Monroe.

"I actually obtained something from the Asgardians a long time ago. It's the equipment used by the Dark Elves of Svartalfheim," said Bruce.

"Okay..." said Foo Fighters. "What is it?"

"Black Hole Grenade," said Bruce. "It's a bomb that, when you remove its pin, creates a miniature gravitational singularity... This would probably be enough to kill it. I couldn't make it work, so I reverse-engineered it. It actually helped me solve the energy crisis back on Prime-Earth. I almost got killed by several assassins who worked for the oil companies I kinda helped get run out of business. Luckily, I have a bodyguard, and his name is Batman." Bruce smirks.

"'Why do you have the coolest gadgets?' I always wonder," sighed Peter. "Why do you even have that?"

"Remember when I was completely useless against Stefan's Omega Beams?"

"Yeah?"

"Well... I learned how to curve Omega Beams away from people I love and keep Stefan's eyes off my children." Bruce sighs. "Well? Foo Fighters... open the stone. I'll walk out there and avoid the icicles-..."

"I'll do it," said Foo Fighters.

"What?"

"I'll walk outside and go stick that thing-a-ma-bob up that Pillar-Man's butt!" yelled Foo Fighters.

"No... Because how would you protect them?" asked Bruce, pointing to the others.

"I'll do it," said Peter. "I have Spidey Sense."

"No... I won't let you get killed..."

"Yeah? Well, I'll do it anyway. For the others..."

"No."

"Yeah!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Oh, for God's sake, give me that!" yelled Victoria, as she runs outside. She whispers, "I will probably not get injured or killed by the weather. I will probably not get injured or killed by the weather. I will probably not get injured or killed by the weather. I will probably not get injured or killed by the weather."

Victoria mundanely walked toward Nick.

Poisonous alien frogs, spiked alien swordfish, poisonous alien snails, venomous alien snakes, and icicle hail dropped from the sky. Tornadoes, Fire Whirls, Floods, Sandstorms, Blizzards, Lightning, a Heat Wave, Waterspouts, Heat Lightning, Tsunamis, Snownado, and other weather phenomena occurred. Even a large avalanche from the mountains where Gabrielle, Narcos, and Mercuria are from occurs.

Some gigantic 2,000-foot armored Celestials even sense this and begin approaching the strange weather at the far north.

Victoria gulped in fear. "Faith..." she whispered.

"Faith..."

Before...

"Faith, Victoria JoJo..." said Alternate Miguel to his very young daughter. "Faith is what keeps us going. So... when I'm gone... don't... no... never lose hope, Victoria Anne JoJo. You are so much more than just that... You are my daughter... and being my daughter, faith, not vengeance, will consume you instead. Flow in the rivers of faith..."

Now...

"I will probably not get injured or killed by the weather. I will probably not get injured or killed by the weather. I will probably not get injured or killed by the weather. I will probably not get injured or killed by the weather-..."

A giant and deep shriek was heard from the distance.

*THUD!!!*

The earth shakes upon each step.

"Oh, shit," said Bruce and Peter.

"Mr. Wayne... It's the-..."

"Yeah... We should've been wary..."

Peter takes out a portal gun, but it won't budge. "Shit... No jurisdiction."

"Yep," said Bruce. "Call Star-Lord."

Peter presses a button on his chest.

Meanwhile...

Star-Lord and the others all sing "Sweet Caroline" by Neil Diamond.

"Sweet Caroline!*Bap! Bap! Buuuh!*Good times never seemed so good!I've been inclined*Bap! Bap! Buuuh!*To believe they never would!But now I!"

*beep! beep! beep!*

Star-Lord presses the button. "Hyello?"

"Quill. We need you here, ASAP," said Peter.

"It hasn't been 24 hours yet!"

"Yeah... But the Celestials kinda woke up and are about to kill all of us," said Peter.

"Distraction?" asked Quill.

"Yes," said Peter.

"Alright!" yelled Quill.

Quill turns off the music and the Guardians complain.

"Sorry, guys," said Quill. "We gotta save their asses again."

*ZOOM!!!*

Victoria ran toward the Pillar-Man, Dolomite. "I will probably not get injured or killed by the weather and by the Celestials! I will probably not get injured or killed by the weather and by the Celestials! I will probably not get injured or killed by the weather and by the Celestials! I will probably not get injured or killed by the weather and by the Celestials!!! I WILL PROBABLY NOT-!!!"

Victoria takes out the pin and tosses it at the Pillar-Man's face.

Dolomite's eyes widen. "Oh."

*PCHOO!!!*

Dolomite screeches and is absorbed by the black hole.

Suddenly, Victoria begins to suffocate.

Bruce yells to Foo Fighters, "GET ME OUT THERE!!!"

"What!?" asked Peter.

"I just need to do something!" yelled Bruce. "Open! Now!"

Foo Fighters does so and Bruce takes out his watch and turns it on.

"COVER YOUR EARS!!!"

A ringing noise occurred. Nick falls on the puddles, unconscious.

Bruce runs outside as the weather normalizes. He grabs both an unconscious Victoria and Nick.

*PEW!!!*

Star-Lord appears on his ship. "Hey, guys! What'd I miss!?"

"Get us out of here and find Gabrielle, Mercuria, and Narcos."

"Alright!" yelled Quill. The group comes aboard as the ship flies upward.

Everyone sighs in relief.

"I used some drones you and Victor made to fixate the Celestials and make 'em chase after it," said Quill. 

"Good," said Bruce. "Where are they?"

"That's strange," said Quill. "There are no Terran signatures on the planet except for us."

"What are you saying?" asked Peter.

"He's saying that they're not on the planet," said Bruce.

"What!?" asked everyone else.

Meanwhile...

*click...*

"Well, well, well..." Tooru leaned closer to Gabrielle's head. "Hello, my sweet."

Gabrielle's eyes widen. "What the f-!?" Gabrielle looks around. She's in a padded cell while tied in a chair with a Stand-Destabilizer around her neck. "Where the hell am I!?"

"I've burnt the third page, Gabrielle," said Tooru. "Now, once I kill them and have you by my side, no one can stand in our way... Gabrielle JoJo..."