Cracking a Cracker

Cracker started to crack apart in a literal sense, with an odd clapping sound accompanying it just like when his single pair of arms split into three pairs. Likewise, three identical Crackers emerged from the single one, and the clapping sound didn't stop there.

Seeing that things were about to get dicey, Luffy quickly bit into his haki coated arm and blew. His body expanded into his Gear Fourth form and he charged forward, smashing apart one of the Crackers.

Jinbe understood that this was about to become a battle of attrition and he knew that Luffy could only sustain Gear Fourth for so long, so he similarly acted quickly and smashed apart another Cracker with a few powerful blows.

However, by the time they had destroyed those two Crackers more moved in to take their place, much to Nami's horror. Cracker had already been putting up a challenging fight, how were they supposed to fight more than one of them?!

"These biscuits are too tough. At this rate, we'll expend all our energy just fighting the fakes," Jinbe complained calmly.

"If they're made of biscuits, then I'll just eat them to restore my stamina!" Luffy declared, biting into the thick neck of one of the Crackers. "Ouch! They're so hard!"

"Of course they're hard, you fool! Did you really think you could eat them?!" The real Cracker mocked him from within the crowd of Crackers.

Luffy started to shovel the smashed biscuits into his mouth and swallow them whole rather than try to chew them up.

Jinbe thought it was a bit silly, but let Luffy do his own thing. Luffy had a way of getting shit done with the wackiest tactics.

Meanwhile, Nami was trying to come up with a way to help. She looked around at the scattered remnants of the destroyed Crackers as they reformed into new crackers.

Suddenly, she had an idea. If the biscuits were too hard to bite, then she'd just have to soften them up!

She spun her Clima-Tact over her head, quickly manipulating the moisture and temperature of the air in the forest. Not long after, clouds formed amongst the canopies and started to sprinkle, then rain, then downpour onto them all.

Sure enough, as the water soaked into the biscuits of the Crackers they were becoming softer and easier to eat.

"Thank you for the assistance, Nami!" Jinbe called out, gathering water along his hands before firing cannon ball sized bolts of water through the Crackers.

"Ah, yes, of course…" Nami said, realizing she should have done that from the start instead of doing it to make it easier for Luffy to eat the biscuits.

"Tsk, so that woman is going to be a problem after all?" Cracker clicked his tongue, realizing he had been too dismissive and should have dealt with the weak link first. "Are you cowards just going to stand there, quaking like newborn fawns?! Or am I going to have to report your treason to Mama?!"

A massive, monstrous tree and half a dozen or so odd creatures stood a fair distance away from the battle. The tree stuttered out in fear, "W-we can't, General Cracker! She feels just like Mama! We can't attack her!"

"Why not?!?!?!" Cracker was enraged at their inaction. "Stop beating around the bush!"

"It's coming from her overinflated chest, General Cracker!" A rabbit man in a musketeer outfit cried out, literally quaking in his boots.

""Huh?!"" Both Nami and Cracker were surprised to hear that. What in the world could they mean by that.

Nami only had one clue on the matter, so she fished out something she had received and forgotten about over two years ago on Thriller Bark. A slip of paper given to her by the captain of another pirate crew named Lola, who had promised that her mother would treat them well if they showed it to her.

They hadn't had any clue who Lola's Mother was before now, but Nami was putting the pieces together at record speed. Nami held it out towards the homies that were cowering behind her and asked, "Is it this?"

"""Ahhhhhh?!?!?!?""" the homies screamed in terror.

Nami's unsure expression became a confident and sadistic smile. "Hoh? This little old thing has you scared, does it?"

As Nami thought about how she could leverage this newfound power, Jinbe and Luffy continued to demolish the increasingly soggy Crackers, and Luffy continued to swell to an enormous girth. It got to the point that Luffy was even huskier than Jinbe, and still kept eating!

This completely ruined any plans of a battle of attrition that Cracker had. While he could make new biscuit soldiers endlessly so long as he could clap his hands, their defensive capabilities were reduced in the dense rain while Jinbe was only stronger with the presence of so much water.

He had to end this in a single blow!

The real Cracker launched forward towards the immobile mass of rubbery flesh that was Luffy; an easy target!

Jinbe moved to intervene, and even succeeded in breaking Cracker apart. However, the real Cracker was a much smaller man hidden within the larger man's biscuit form!

Cracker continued his charge unaffected by Jinbe's failed interception.

"Die!" Cracker shouted with a smile that was more of a snarl. He thrust his sword into exposed belly unimpeded. "Huh? Wait, what is this-?"

"Gear Fourth: Tank Man!" Luffy flexed his abs in a way that sucked Cracker further into his rubbery flesh. Then with another flex, Cracker was sent flying through the air, through several of his biscuit soldiers, through the homie trees, and away into the distance! "Get lost!"

…

Smoothie was getting tired of waiting for Cherry to come back and was deciding whether to barge into the Vinsmoke castle looking for her charge when she got a call on her den den mushi.

"What?" Smoothie answered casually.

"General Smoothie!" A voice she didn't recognise, so it must be a nameless subordinate. "General Cracker just flew all the way from the Seducing Woods and crashed into the Chateau! He's all beat up and unconscious!"

"Who did it? I'll kill 'em right now." Smoothie demanded.

"We're not totally sure, General! He was on a mission to capture Straw Hat, that's all we know!" the subordinate explained.

"What's your name?" Smoothie asked out of nowhere.

"Er… it's Deeduo, General…" the subordinate answered dutifully.

"Good. For being so useless, I'm going to kill you later. Don't run away or I'll kill your family in front of you first." Smoothie hung up the den den mushi without waiting for a response.

"How the hell did Cracker lose to a rookie?" Smoothie wondered aloud. Certainly Cracker was the weakest of the three Sweet Generals by a country mile, but he most certainly wasn't weak. Moreover, he was in the Seducing Woods, which was made entirely up by homies.

It was a mystery. However, she wondered if she should even bother to go personally. It was likely that a small army of her brothers and sisters was already forming to take revenge; and while they were individually weaker than Cracker, quantity was a quality all on its own.

Plus, she had her own duties to attend to. Would Cherry back out of their deal the moment she left her to her own devices?

"Probably," Smoothie concluded. Then again, she really didn't want to deal with the troublesome woman any more, either. What a quandary.