What it Means to be a Q

There were several people who tried to sneak looks at me, like I would not notice them, when I stepped out onto the Bridge. I ignored them and headed for the turbo lift, then took it down to the Shuttle Bay. When I made it to the second floor of our little ship, I saw that Raven and Echo were awake and seemed fine.

"It's good to see you two up," I said.

The pair smiled at me, and Raven switched couches to mine as she had been sitting with Katye and Echo. I sat down next to her and slid an arm around her shoulders while I gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"So, how did things go with Q?" Katye asked.

"Well, they both referred to me as Dystina and the Q from the Enterprise went further, calling me Eight-Clawed Chaos Storm Dragon mutt… in front of the entire bridge crew, so expect new rumors about us floating around for some time. Otherwise, it was similar to the episode. One Q wants to die, the other says he can't without risking the Continuum, blah, blah, blah… I got roped into being a part of the hearing, but the decision is still Janeway's," I explained.

"Are we able to walk around the rest of the ship?" Echo asked.

"They know we are here now, so they should keep their auras restrained, but one of the Qs is an asshole and I could see him trying to mess with us," I replied.

"Joy," she said sarcastically.

"I explained what happened to you guys to Janeway, so if you want to hole up in here for the next few days, I'm sure I could swing it," I offered.

"I'd rather handle my shifts in Engineering. I was working on some calibrations when Q appeared, so everything that I had done was ruined. I know B'Elanna will have them all done by now, but it was my idea originally," Raven replied.

"I'll manage," Echo agreed with a shrug.

We talked for a while longer, but mostly just small talk and such, nothing too important. We enjoyed a quiet evening on our ship while the rumors spread around the Voyager. When we headed to the Mess Hall for breakfast the next morning, the whole room went quiet, and all eyes turned to us.

"I wonder if this is what it was like to be a Frikdreina," I remarked in English so that the others could understand me.

"We're all Frikdreina these days," Echo retorted as she walked over the serving window.

I chuckled while Katye shook her head and followed Echo. Raven also got in line, so I did too, but since we were already drawing more than our fair share of attention, I did not care about drawing anymore. I slipped my arms around Raven's waist and rested my chin on her shoulder.

"What happened to Starfleet regulations?" Raven asked, placing a hand on my cheek, while she took a tray from Neelix.

"I'd like to see the Captain complain about my antics today," I retorted then took a tray and said, "Thanks, Neelix."

He gave me a friendly smile which was the only one in the room. I let Raven go and we joined Katye and Echo at one of the tables. No sooner had we sat down than there was a flash of white light and Q appeared next to me in the empty seat.

"I should have known that you'd be here as well, Alkatyenia; Dystina never goes anywhere without you," Q remarked.

"Hello, Q," Katye said with an amused smile. "I just go by Katye these days, and her name is Rebecca."

"Changing your names doesn't change your identity, mutts."

"Don't you have better things to do like torment Picard, or some other innocent person who was unlucky enough to draw your attention?" I asked, picking at my food.

"Oh, that hurts," he mocked. "I just wanted to catch up with old friends; it's been centuries, after all."

"Sure, you do," I retorted while rolling my eyes.

"Hmm... you two aren't originals," he noted as he looked between Raven and Echo. "You abandoned what Q made you just to turn others into mutts like you; seems hypocritical, no?"

I sighed since Q had not bothered to keep his voice down so everyone sitting near us heard that. Part of me always knew that our identities as 'Descendants of the Q' would eventually come out, but he had gone a step further and announced that we had the ability to grant other people powers like ours. It made me wonder why Tori had bothered to give us a secret background for Q to expose it in his first appearance.

"None of you will be satisfied until we have no home in this dimension. We never asked to be what Q made us... to be taken from our homes, our families, our lives, and be experimented on until the Continuum got their act together and stopped him. Is it so wrong that we want to find a place where we can be accepted for 'who' we are rather than 'what' we are?" Katye asked with a sober tone.

Q frowned at her words, but he was clearly exposing our secrets intentionally, so exposing the Continuum of 'neglect' was only fair, and it would get us some sympathy points with those listening to our conversation. I might have gotten better at seeing the hidden meaning behind a string of words, but she still outclassed me in pulling them together to reach the hearts of others. If Q, or rather Tori, wanted to play these games then we could too, and we had the tragic backstory on our side.

"Mortals may be tempted by power, but we do not hide the Price. Every day, I battle this beast within me, and I can barely hold it back at times. We granted Raven and Echo a second chance at life, but they have their own struggles because of it. Your words are nothing more than a veiled attempt to turn the crew of the Voyager against us," I added.

"You two were never any fun," Q complained before he disappeared with a snap of his fingers and a flash of light.

"Charming fellow," Raven remarked now that he was gone.

I chuckled and leaned into her shoulder, agreeing, "Isn't he? I think he and Ishu would get along wonderfully."

The others chuckled as well since they knew the ghostly chimera assassin who had been the first Greater Spirit that I learned to summon when I became a Naru Darc. We finished our meal while other conversations slowly picked up again. Q had given enough ammunition for the rumor mill to last a few months, if not years, but hopefully, our little bit would be carried along with it. Greed had already turned two of the crew into traitors, and that was just for control of the ship; the idea of getting powers like ours was even more tempting, so I would not put it past anyone to try and negotiate some deal with us.

After we were done, we split up as usual and I headed for the Briefing Room. The main conference table was already gone, and a few chairs had been arranged just like they were in the show. There was an additional chair behind the small desk where Janeway was sitting which must have been for me. Tuvok was not here yet since I was a few minutes early nor were either Q, but they likely would not show until the last minute.

"Good morning, Captain," I said.

"Good morning," she greeted.

"I should probably mention that Q decided to announce our ability to create more of our kind while my group and I were eating breakfast in the Mess Hall," I said with a wry smile.

Janeway sighed and rubbed her temples as she asked, "Why would he do that?"

"Why did he introduce the Federation to the Borg over a hundred years before they should have learned of each other?" I retorted, walking over to my chair next to her and then sitting down. "He's a jackass that enjoys stirring the pot and watching the chaos unfold."

That made her smirk, which was a good sign. While this would likely cause my group and I a few headaches in the future, this was more of our problem than hers, so she did not have to worry too much about it. She knew from our conversations that none of us would change anyone lightly, but the truth of the matter was that 'we' did not truly have the ability. Tori was the one who granted Raven and Echo their powers and, while we could have others join our crew, it would still be Tori that granted them whatever power he thought fit them best.

Tuvok walked in a minute or so later and then the two Q appeared at the same time. Everyone took their seats with Tuvok sitting next to the Q who was asking for asylum while the annoying Q had a bored look on his face.

Janeway stood up, and said with a serious tone, "Let me begin by stating clearly that I expect all parties to act appropriately, and with respect for these proceedings. I will not have this hearing turned into a circus. Is that clear?"

The Q by Tuvok nodded almost excitedly while the other seemed more interested in looking at his fingers than listening to Janeway.

"Is that clear, Q?" she asked again.

"Madam Captain, we are dealing here with an issue of the greatest importance to the Q Continuum. I can assure you, we take this matter very seriously," Q said.

"Thank you, and please don't call me 'Madam Captain'," Janeway replied with a hint of annoyance then sat back down. "Since you've made it clear that your asylum would lead to suicide, you placed me in a difficult position."

"I understand, Captain," Q replied politely.

"May I ask you why you want to commit suicide?"

"As difficult as it is for you to imagine, for me, immortality is impossible to endure any longer. In the Continuum, an individual has an obligation to be responsible to the path his life will follow..."

"'His life will follow.' Emphasize life," the other Q butted in.

"I never yielded that obligation to the Continuum. If the path I choose leads to death, what right have they to interfere?"

"He's putting his selfish wishes above the welfare of everyone else," Q countered.

"And if I don't agree with the majority, I'm to be locked up for eternity."

"You would not be confined if you were not intent on harming yourself. With your permission, Captain, I would like to call an expert on the Continuum to discuss the implications of the decision to be made," the annoying Q requested.

"Proceed," Janeway agreed.

"I call myself to the stand," he said with a mischievous smile then snapped his fingers, creating a copy of himself with a flash of white light.

"Ta-da," said the copy.

"Thank you for coming. It's a rare honor to have someone of your reputation and accomplishment with us today," Q overly complimented while Janeway and I both rolled our eyes at his antics.

"Thank you," the copy replied shamelessly.

"Tell me, what would be the impact of a Q suicide?"

"Oh, it would be an interruption to the Continuum. It would change the very nature of Q."

"Can you be more specific?" Janeway asked.

"No, because we're not even sure what the end result would be. His suicide could have all sorts of unknown consequences for the Continuum."

"Precisely! It would force the Q to deal with the unknown for the first time since the new era began. They're afraid of me because they're afraid of the unknown," the Q sitting by Tuvok interjected.

"How would you characterize his remarks?" the opposing Q asked.

"No Q has ever tried to commit suicide. Immortality is one of the defining qualities of being a Q. By every measure of the Continuum, his remarks would have to be considered as... mentally unbalanced," the copy replied.

"Mentally unbalanced, and no civilized people in the universe, including the primitive Federation societies, would condone the suicide of a mentally unbalanced person," Q said before sitting down, signaling that he was done with his questions for the 'expert'.

"Tell me, Q," Tuvok requested as he stood up, "can you offer any other evidence of mental instability on the part of my client?"

"What more do I need? He wants to kill himself," the copy of Q chuckled as if it was an obvious fact.

"In fact, until this issue arose, he was known in the Continuum as one of your great philosophers. Is that not true?"

"Not anymore it isn't."

"So, your entire basis for judging him mentally unbalanced is his wish to commit suicide. I submit that, that is a faulty premise. In many cultures, suicide is acceptable and in and of itself cannot be used as evidence of mental illness."

"I tend to agree with Mister Tuvok," Janeway stated when Q looked at her questioningly.

"Oh... Vulcans!" both Q and his copy scoffed at the same time.

"Isn't it true that on occasion, the Continuum has executed Qs for certain crimes?" Tuvok asked.

"On rare occasions, yes," the copy agreed.

"Didn't their deaths create an interruption in the Continuum?"

"Their crimes caused the interruption, their deaths ended it... most of the time," the copy replied, giving me a pointed look. "I know where you are going with this, Lieutenant."

"Do you?"

"And it's not going to work. Our society, like any other, must control its disruptive elements. An execution may be undesirable, I grant you that, but on some rare occasions, it is necessary and warranted, and a decision to proceed is made only after great deliberation by the entire Continuum. You have proof right there," the copy said, motioning at me, "of chaos that would be created if individuals like Q here could choose between life and death. This is a matter of social order versus anarchy."

"I understand," Tuvok replied then walked back to his seat. "And you find nothing contradictory in a society that outlaws suicide but practices capital punishment?"

"No," the copy retorted.

"Any other questions, Lieutenant?" Janeway asked.

The Q who he was arguing for stood up and whispered something in his ear which raised the Vulcan's brow.

"Just one other thing. Isn't it true that you yourself were once accused of being mentally unstable by the Continuum? Were you not disciplined for inappropriate behavior?" Tuvok asked.

"Objection," Q said.

"I'll allow the question," Janeway denied.

"My record has been expunged," the copy replied.

"I will take that as a yes. Thank you. That is all," Tuvok retorted then sat back down in his chair.

"You're excused," Janeway said, and the copy disappeared with a flash of light.

"If I may beg the court's indulgence, I have other witnesses to call," Q requested.

"To what end?" Janeway asked.

"Your Captain Honor, I am here to argue for the majesty of life... what it means for us to be alive. A Q's life takes him to all corners of the universe. This Q's life has touched and affected many, many others, including some on your own home world. With your permission, I would like to call some of those people whose lives have been changed by this Q."

"You want to bring people here from Earth?" Janeway asked, surprised.

"I promise it won't impact the timeline, and no one will remember ever having been here after I send them back," Q promised.

"This is most unusual. Do you have any objection, Mister Tuvok?"

"I am as curious as you are, Captain," he replied.

"Rebecca?"

"I'm just here to listen and explain anything that you don't fully understand," I responded.

"Very well. Proceed," Janeway agreed.

With a smirk, Q snapped his fingers and three men appeared with a flash of light. One was dressed like a nobleman from the seventeenth century and another looked like he was from the 60's. The last, and only one who did not seem confused, was wearing a Starfleet uniform and was none other than Commander Riker from the Enterprise.

"Q! What the hell is going on?" Riker demanded.

Q gestured to Janeway as she stood up and walked around the table.

"My apologies, Commander... To you all. My name is Kathryn Janeway," she introduced.

"Captain Janeway, the USS Voyager," Riker said, offering his hand.

"That's correct, Commander," she replied as she shook hands with him. "You're aboard the Voyager. We're lost in the Delta Quadrant, and as much as I wish you could tell them that when you get home, your memories will be wiped before you get back."

"God, if you let me live through this, I promise I'll clean up my act, I swear," the guy from the 60's mumbled more to himself.

"I demand an explanation! Why are you dressed like this, young man?" the nobleman asked.

"Man, have you looked into a mirror lately?"

I chuckled at their reactions because I do not think I would have been as calm as them if I were in their place.

"Allow me to try to explain, Mister...?" Janeway said.

"Ginsberg. Maury Ginsberg," the guy from the 60's replied.

"Sir Isaac Newton," the nobleman said with a slight bow.

"William Riker, nice to meet you," Riker greeted.

"Consider for a moment that it might be possible to travel forward in time, say to the twenty-fourth century, onto a starship that was seventy-five thousand light-years from Earth..." Janeway started but changed tactics when she saw the confusion on both of their faces. "You're having a very strange dream, and, in this dream, you are seeing this man whom you've all met before."

One by one, the three people that Q summoned explained how they knew Q. Q had jostled the tree which, famously, dropped the apple on Isaac Newton's head, giving him the inspiration for the gravitational theory that he was so well-known for. Maury had been given a ride by Q to get to the famous Woodstock festival, and because of that, he had been at the right place at the right time to notice that the sound system had been accidentally unplugged which saved the concert moments before it was supposed to start. Riker's connection to the Q in question was not as direct as the other two, but his wounded ancestor had been carried off the battlefield during the American Civil War by Q which saved his life, and therefore, Riker's.

Q sent the others after he gave a short speech about how valuable the other Q had been throughout the history of Earth and had even saved Earth from the Borg as Riker had played a big role in the First Contact movie. Tuvok countered with that his client had been imprisoned for the last three centuries and then asked for permission to recreate the environment in which he had been held. I also got to go along for the ride, and it was just as cold, cramped, and uncomfortable as you would imagine from the short view in the episode, though the view from inside the comet was interesting.

When we were back in the Briefing Room, Janeway brought up the "double effect" principle on assisted suicide that dated back to the Bolian Middle Ages. In simple terms, the act of helping someone commit suicide could be ethically justified if the person was suffering in some kind of way. She asked Q if he could prove that he was suffering, but without an answer to give her immediately, Tuvok asked for a recess. She agreed and gave them the rest of the day to think about it while she excused the rest of us.

Although I returned to my ship for a few hours, I was not surprised when Janeway showed up at my doorstep, in a manner of speaking. I was alone on our ship since the others were on duty still, so I had been reading everything that Fae had in her databanks about the Q Continuum in hopes of understanding why this matter was so important to them. I had not been expecting much, guessing that it was simply a plotline for the show, but there was an explanation that tied back to the Endless Firmament.

The Q Continuum was a failed attempt to become True Gods by a group of individuals who were linked together in a way similar to how the Ocampa on the female Caretaker's space station were. They had been misguided by the idea of purity and used their absolute control over Space, Time, and Matter to sever their connection to the other elements. In a sense, they had changed themselves from a Mortal race into elemental creatures that governed three elements instead of one. While elemental creatures could still become True Gods as my past self had done, their absolute control over Time meant that they were unaffected by it, which meant that they could no longer grow like a typical elemental creature would.

Q's desire to kill himself truly would affect the entire Continuum by re-introducing the concept of Death back into their connection. The perfect balance of Space, Time, and Matter would be disrupted by the simple act, yet it was also the only way that they could possibly grow. Reconnecting to the elements would weaken their absolute control over their governing three, though it would take millions of years before they would be able to attempt to become True Gods once again.

"Would you care for a drink, Captain?" I asked as I pulled a bottle of Spirit Wine out of the fridge. "I can even replicate you a cup of coffee if you'd prefer."

"I'll take a glass if you are offering," Janeway replied with a tired expression.

I chuckled and motioned towards the couches. While she took a seat, I grabbed two cups and then joined her in the lounge area, and poured both of us a drink. She did not hesitate and took a sip quickly before giving a small sigh of relief. This was a side of her that was never shown in the show, since it was not something that she would reveal in front of anyone but her closest friends, though it made me smile since it proved that our relationship had not been completely ruined by what happened with Seska.

"I believe that Q has that effect on most people. He certainly made me want to drink after today," I chuckled.

Janeway leaned back against the couch with a sigh and took another sip. "I think I should have just let you tell me what I did in your vision and save myself from this headache."

"You would never truly accept what I tell you, and either Q could argue that I am bias no matter whether I told you yes or no. They agreed because you are truly neutral in this matter," I retorted then took a drink.

"Perhaps... Can you tell me why this is so important to the Continuum that they would try to bribe me by offering to take us back to Earth?" she asked.

"Because, just as Q said, they are scared of the unknown. They are a culture that has not changed in over four billion years, and they fear the change that he could possibly bring."

She let out a long, slow sigh as she rested her cup on her knee and stared at it blankly. "Why does he want to commit suicide?"

"That is for Q to explain, Kathryn."

"Do you agree with him?"

Anything I said could sway her opinion and I did not want there to be a question in her mind. There would be plenty of trials in our future that she would need to trust me, so it would be more of a mistake to tell her, than to let her be upset by my lack of answer.

"I agree with the decision that you will make," I said with a light smile.