A Wild Pervert Appears #17

My eyes twitched, and I felt the urge to turn around and walk away as I saw the shapely, leather-clad figure sitting in my chair and eating the snacks I had bought with my hard-earned money.

'WHAT THE FUCK IS CATWOMAN DOING IN MY APARTMENT?!'

"What's the matter, cat got you tongue?" she said, smiling in amusement as she took in my petrified appearance with great pleasure, leisurely crossing her legs.

'Ok, calm down, and think. What could Catwoman possibly want from me? Why is she here?'

I tried to think of something, but nothing came to mind, and I didn't feel like standing at my own door with a petrified expression all night.

When in doubt, play dumb.

"Look, lady, I don't know what kind of pervert you are, but if you try anything funny, I'll scream," I said as I regarded Catwoman with a weary look, feigning ignorance to buy time. "There's a security guard with a gun out there, and he isn't afraid to use it," I added, crossing my arms. Yup, gotta fake to make it.

'Think. Catwoman is a thief. What would a thief want from me? Maybe steal something from me?' I mused, resisting the urge to make a joke about Catwoman being here to steal my virginity or something along those lines.

I was a thief myself, but while I stuck to pick-pocketing people, she only did high-profile heists. I have nothing of high enough value in the apartment or my person to attract her attention.

"And what makes you think I'm a pervert? I could be a thief or a serial killer, for all you know?" Catwoman asked after a second's pause, giving what I can only imagine was a bemused look under her mask.

'So if she doesn't want to steal something from me, maybe she wants me to do something for her, something related to her profession, but what?'

There's nothing I could do in terms of stealing that Catwoman couldn't do herself, ten times betters. The only thing I could think of that could get her attention was my inventory.

"Your leather tights for once, only an exhibitionist would wear something like that," I blankly said, pointing at her leathery getup. "You snuck into a minor's apartment, and you're waiting in the dark like some kind of third-rate movie villain," I added, shrugging my shoulder.

'But even if that was the case, how did she know about it? I've been careful and never used in public unless...'

DAMNIT.

She must have seen me use the inventory when I stole the Electrocutioner's suite after Batman and Bane left.

"You have quite the imagination, but unfortunately for you, you're not my type," she replied, unbothered by my retorts as she smiled. "I'm here because I need you to do something for me," she said, sending me a leisurely smile.

'Here it comes... this is the part where I refuse, and she puts her cards on the table...'

"And why would I do that exactly? Who are you anyway?" I asked without outright refusing. I still wasn't sure what she wanted, and I didn't want to jump to conclusions.

"Because you're the person most suited for it," Catwoman said, grinning as she took out a cellphone from her leather suit. She turned it on and started a video as she turned the screen in my direction.

It showed footage of me in my mask and trench coat, making the Electrocutioner's suite disappear by merely touching it.

'Here's the stick as expected... will there be a carrot too?' I mused as I turned from the video to Catwoman, maintaining a neutral expression.

"One of those meta-human freaks? Is that supposed to mean anything to me?" I asked, feigning confusion as I alternated my gaze between Catwoman and the video. I needed more information on how she found out who I am.

"There's no use beating around the bush, so let's not play any games," Catwoman said as she stopped the video and put away the phone. "I took that video myself, and I wouldn't be here if I didn't know you were the same person," she added, dismissively waving to the side.

"I followed you here, after all," she added, smiling at my faked look of wariness. "So can we talk business, or do you want to keep acting oblivious?" she asked, resting a cheek on her hand.

"Not that I mind. It's almost cute," Catwoman concluded, an amused smile tugging on her lips. She sounded too sure of herself, and that honestly pissed me off.

'Time to make a choice...'

I could comply, which is probably the safest and smartest choice. Catwoman was many things, but she wasn't evil, and I don't think she'd push me past my limit, and she hasn't even threatened me yet.

Alternatively, I could take her on if I gear up; I'm faster and more powerful than her, the bulletproof coat would shield me from her whips, and the electricity attacks and steel wire could take her out if I use them in a surprise attack.

I don't know what Catwoman was capable of martial arts-wise, but I knew she's a baseline human, and we're currently in a tight space where she can't pull that acrobat shit, after all.

Lastly, I could try to negotiate, she knew my secret, but I knew her secret too. I knew her identity, and basically, every villain and thug in Gotham would be out for her blood to get to Batman if word about her real identity got out.

The first option is a no-go, simply because I refuse to be blackmailed by a fictional character I may or may not have masturbated to during my teenage years, even if it's in my best interest to let it happen.

The second is the most appealing. I must admit. But out of the millions of possible outcomes for this scenario, none would end without Batman knocking on my door one way or the other, and I like my arms and skull the way they are, not broken and without concussions, thankyouverymuch.

'Negotiate it is then... I need to take the lead in the conversation...'

"Oh yeah? Let's say I'm the guy in the video for argument's sake. What about it? What exactly do you want?" I asked, blatantly beating around the bush. I wouldn't admit simply for the off chance that she wasn't sure already or recording the conversation for evidence.

"Like I said, I have a job that would be a lot easier if I had someone, who can make things disappear like that helping me," Catwoman replied, shrugging her shoulders. "Of course, I'm willing to pay for such services," she added with an easy-going smile, splitting her face.

"Let's say I refuse, then what will you do?" I said, getting straight to the point. I needed to push her back towards the stick cause I'd only make a fool of myself if I got confrontational for no reason.

"I won't do anything, honey, but this footage could reach the wrong hands if I don't delete it..." Catwoman said, leisurely checking her nails as she shifted in the chair. "I hear Inspector Gordon is tirelessly searching for the criminal who stole the Electrocutioner's suit," she added, giving me a smug smirk that I will definitely enjoy wiping off her face.

"It's funny that you'd mention things that could reach the wrong hands or ears in this case..." I said, chuckling slightly, much to her surprise. She was probably expecting begrudging acceptance or something along those lines.

"Because I know how to make the day of every gang banger and supervillain in Gotham," I said, crossing my arms and enjoying myself too much to stop.

"Do you understand what I'm talking about, Miss Kyle?" I asked, and it took her no more than a fraction of a second to understand my meaning without me even having to emphasize her name or pronounce it in a different way.

To her credit, Catwoman only faltered for a second before calming herself down and resuming a smiling expression, but I didn't stop talking.

"I'd only need to whisper it in the right ear, and every thug whose limbs your Bat friend Broke, every villain he threw in prison, would be out for your blood," I added, smiling in amusement as her expression almost faltered again.

I really didn't know what I was talking about and merely bluffing. Even if I knew who Catwoman was, who would believe me anyway? But she didn't know that and wouldn't risk calling my bluff because it's too risky.

"So I'd consider rephrasing the last thing you said if I were you," I concluded, barely stopping myself from bursting into a peal of maniacal laughter.

"I don't know what you're talking about, but I get the point," Catwoman said, having already composed herself, showing no hints of panic anymore.

"You know it's almost cute how you're acting oblivious," I said, cutting her off before she could continue. It was unnecessary and petty, but I didn't care. I'd have my payback, and that's that. No wanking material was going to tease me and get away with it!

However, Catwoman merely chuckled and shook her head at me using the words she mocked me with earlier against her, much to my dissatisfaction. Whatever, it was worth it.

"Like I was saying, I get the point. Things that could end up in the wrong hands are better left buried, like the footage here," she said as she took out her phone and deleted the video.

She had other copies of the video, and I knew it. She knew that I knew as well. She still did it regardless because it was a gesture that I'd won this one, and that's enough for me.

"The offer still stands. I'll leave you this," Catwoman said, smiling as she got up from the chair and took out a small paper. "Call me if you change your mind," she added, leaving the note and walking past me towards the door.

"I'll think about it."

...

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