Be With You 1

"My mom lived with me for a few months and my dad kept getting mad at me too and sometimes hitting me. They always tried to transfer me to a school outside the city. But I would never give up on you, so when I told you about how I started loving you and fighting for you in front of my parents, it's not just bullshit. Love doesn't come without being asked and we can't choose to love, but love comes when I choose to love you between the choices that I could have stopped loving you because of my parents and gave up at that time too. I think with my loss, both my parents started to realize what they shouldn't have done to me. Do you know? I've never regretted choosing you."

****

"What did you do to Neil? I can feel something happening to him." Skylar asked on the other end of the phone with his anger running at Sain. Why is Skylar calling Neil in the middle of the morning like this?

Sain raised his eyebrows he rested his head on the shoulder of Neil who was sleeping next to him and hugged him tightly. "Now? Earlier? Yesterday? Or when?"

"You impudent! Bastard! When did this madness of yours begin?"

Sain laughed softly, his eyes lifted to look at Neil and buried his kisses on Neil's group of eyes that were moving in his sleep. "I've been crazy about Neil. A long, long time."

"Crazy!"

Sain snorted when he heard the curse that came out of Skylar's mouth again. He was a little annoyed with Skylar who always bothered Sain when he just wanted to enjoy his moment with Neil. "You can call next time, we are tired now. Neil is sleeping next to me, I enjoyed it with your brother. I can now do it many times because Neil already lives with me."

"If you touch it-"

"What will you do?" cut Sain defiantly, Skylar certainly wouldn't be able to do anything to him. Not only Skylar even Skylar's father and Neil himself couldn't do anything. Neil was completely his, no one could argue about that.

Sain raised his hand and touched Neil's limbs, making him moan in his sleep. "Ah, Riksa."

Sain smirked and returned his attention to Skylar on the other side. "Did you hear Neil's voice just now? So go ahead. Let your brother here taste mine again."

Sain heard a noise on the other end which made Sain's grin widen with pleasure, Sain didn't let the curses from Skylar reach his ears he quickly ended the call and put Neil's cell phone back on the nightstand.

He once again watched Neil sleeping with his bare chest up and down, Sain felt his chest expand with pride seeing his handiwork on Neil's bare skin which was full of bright red patches. Sain would probably omit some and leave some for people to see on Neil's neck later. Neil himself wouldn't have been able to wake up, because he didn't have a mirror for him to see.

After a long and tiring conversation with Neil earlier, Sain might have to open himself up more than this. Be honest with Neil about everything that happened before Neil came here and tell how Sain left Neil just like that when he passed out in front of him at that time.

Sain moved quickly to hit the wall with a strong force when he recalled the time Neil was motionless in the bathtub covered with water that was stained deep red. heart Sain was about to escape from its cavity and his breath was being forced from within his body.

He exited the room, and moved to the kitchen for a cup of water, moistening his parched throat. Sain plopped down on the chair, clutching the empty glass in his hands.

'I want you to be normal and forget about me. You know I already feel like trash, before you can dump me, I want to run from your life. But no matter how far I run, my heart always finds you for me to keep coming back to.'

Neil's words just now kept ringing and spinning in Sain's mind. Making him lose control, Sain quickly threw the glass in his hand in front, creating a loud noise in the quiet room. Sain took a deep breath and exhaled roughly.

How could Neil think of running away from Sain's life? While at any cost Sain would never let Neil go, they were bound to each other by the exchange of blood. Nothing can separate them. Sain had arrived at this stage, waited for so long to meet Neil, and was again separated by a dimensional distance. Now that they have united Neil is about to leave him?

Sain ruffled his hair in frustration, he wanted the feelings Neil was feeling right now weren't part of his manipulation. If Neil is tired of loving Sain, then Sain is tired of living in lies and false pleasures that he created himself.

Sain wanted all these lies to end, but thinking about Neil hating him again made Sain feel like he was losing half his breath.

Neil is everything to Sain. First love, second to last. Sain never thought about how his life would be without Neil, without thinking about him and without touching him. All these things are like a breath to Sain, which he must breathe every moment.

When Neil had no other choice which ultimately led to him having to stay at Sain's house at this time, it made Sain instantly feel he could fly at any moment. It was part of his dream to be able to live on the same roof as Neil. Even since Sain was little he had been imagining this.

Sain got up from his seat and came to his room which was not occupied by Neil now, where he kept all his works there. The place where Sain stuck all of Neil's paintings there. Sain wanted to bring Neil here to show him everything and tell him what was behind it. However, Sain was not ready to accept the consequences.

A knock on the door made Sain snap out of his daydream who was staring at Neil's innocent painting. Sain quickly left the room and didn't let Neil see even a glimpse of the contents in his room through the gap he created. Sain closed and locked the door behind him.

He turned around to see Neil standing in his oversized Sain outfit, Neil's shoulders looked strained there and he didn't seem to notice that he was wearing nothing behind his exposed thighs.

Sain sometimes can't control himself when it comes to all things Neil. When he succeeded, there were other ways to make him lose control completely until in the end Sain unknowingly hurt Neil instead.

"Neil, what's wrong?" Sain asked closer to Neil who was like a magnet to him.

Neil's brown eyes met Sain's and he turned his gaze back to Sain's neck. The lips parted and spoke a word in a hoarse voice that went straight to h. "You weren't in the room. I thought you were going to leave me again."

Sain raised his eyebrows then wrapped his arm around Neil's shoulders and led Neil to return to his room.

"I'm here, I won't leave you, Neil. Why are you awake? It's still too early."

A blush started to bloom around Neil's cheeks then he shyly looked at Sain's face and started saying "I can't sleep without you."

How butterflies began to fly from Sain's stomach. He even carried Neil who immediately wrapped his legs around Sain's waist.

A smile spread on Sain's lips, he spread his fingers on Neil's back and whispered. "Me too,"

"Riksa, can I stay here for a while?" Neil asked quietly, it made Sain tighten his arms on Neil and carry Neil to his bed.

"Where I am, you must always be by my side."

Sain put his hand on Neil's chest and felt a rapid pulse there, in sync with what Sain had himself.

Sain brought his face close to Neil's lips and whispered there. "Because living in solitude is not a pleasant thing at all. If you ask who loves you the most, it's me. Even more than your love for me and your parents for you."

***

When they were in the fifth grade of elementary school, Sain once told Skylar that something was wrong with him when he was with Neil.

"Skylar, there's something wrong with me." He told Skylar that afternoon while Sain playing at his house. Neil was still asleep in Skylar's room since this afternoon and Sain couldn't bear to wake him up because Neil looked very tired from his Scouting activities at school.

Skylar took his eyes off the television to catch a glimpse of Sain. He then asked, "What's wrong?"

Sain tugged at the end of the sofa cushion, he decided not to ask. Sain smiled awkwardly with a crisp laugh then said, "Not really."

'I can't stop thinking about Neil. There's always Neil's face in my mind,' Sain said to himself.

Skylar chuckled in displeasure, but he turned his attention back to the film that was still playing on the television in front of them.

"Skylar, I want to see Neil," said Sain.

"Why do you now have permission, usually go straight in."

"Neil is in your room."

"What else? Why don't you just go, I want to see," said Skylar.

So, Sain got up and stepped his little foot up the stairs to Skylar's room. He peered through the gap in Skylar's unlocked door. After taking a breath, Sain finally came in and found Neil had woken up from his sleep and was, rubbing his eyes.

"Riksa," called Neil knowing the existence of Sain in his scope.

"You're not dead anymore?" asked Sain nonchalantly, he looked awkward for some reason when Neil had been looking at him with his big eyes.

"I'm still breathing, why are you, Sain?" Neil asked getting off his bed and stretching his body a little. He walked to the bathroom and urinated in front of Sain without closing the door first.