Incident 2

Neil continued to run ignoring the numbness in his legs. He didn't care that people saw him like this, thinking he was a lunatic. Neil doesn't care.

His universe was once again shattered when the person Neil trusted tricked him. Make use of it. Even thought of him as a toy. Even though Neil didn't understand what the men meant but sooner or later Sain would surely lead himself to a gathering of strange people, rather than Sain having to lose his life.

While running he hit himself hard on the head trying to remember what happened between him and Sain according to the man's words, but Neil didn't remember anything. Neil's tears had been flowing for a long time, how could Sain kill five people at once in one day and still feel proud.

Neil more than knows a man shouldn't cry like this but what can Neil do he's only human.

Toy?

Neil chuckles, is all Sain's care a part of his lie too?

The world is cruel, but humans are even crueler than that.

Neil's breath hitched as he reached his house. The safest place in his room.

Just as he was about to open the gate, his arm someone grabbed. There was fear running through Neil's body when he saw Sain return. Neil looked down and didn't look into Sain's eyes any longer.

"Where have you been? I was looking for you, Neil." Neil looked at the hand holding his arm and remembered, the same hand that killed the people in the alley. Neil quickly brushed it off.

"What's wrong with you?" Sain asked impatiently lifting Neil's chin to look at Sain. Neil's eyes remained downcast refusing to accept Sain's gaze. "You're crying? Who did it?"

Neil avoided the reach of Sain's hand that wanted to touch his face. What is it about Sain who always wants to touch him lately?

"What happened, Neil? Where have you been? I was looking for you," Sain's words sounded almost desperate.

Neil's eyes lifted to look at Sain's dark eyes. Neil gripped his hand tightly and said "Riksa, can we stop being friends? Can we not see each other again from now on?"

Sain comes forward grabs the shoulder and shakes Neil angrily. "What are you talking about? Who told you to do this? What's wrong, Neil?"

Neil shook his head in response to Sain's many questions. His head suddenly felt like spinning.

"Riksa, I hate you."

Neil jerked Sain's grip and entered the house without looking back. For some reason, the words that he hated Sain seemed wrong to come out of his lips. He didn't want to say that, but it all happened.

Neil's breath hitched and he held his chest which suddenly hurt as if it was being squeezed hard.

"Want to drink?" Neil turned to see Skylar who had been sitting back on a sofa, lifting a bottle of alcohol into the air.

Neil thought for a moment, he had never drunk it. However, if it can take Neil's mind off his tough days then Neil will. In the end, he nodded in agreement and took the bottle from Skylar's hands.

"You have to drink it all." Neil nodded in approval and ran to his room.

***

Neil poured cold water down his body. He looked at his body and was astonished to find neither the scars had inflicted on him nor the people injured on his body.

His skin was now flawless as if it had never been injured before, even the old scars had disappeared. Impossible.

Neil pressed his nails against the skin of his thighs and drew a straight line there. Making a new cut on his skin, he closed his eyes feeling the pain oozing from it.

He promised himself this would be the last time he would hurt himself.

Neil thought as the cold water splashed down his head. He made a very tough decision next, that he was going to change. It was no longer Neil who was like this, he was even disgusted with himself.

Like a woman who cries a lot.

He will change, with all the indifference that will stick to him.

***

Neil curled up in the blankets he slowly grabbed the phone that was lying there. There were many messages and missed calls from Sain as well as Faiz, but Neil ignored them. He dialed the number at the top until the second call.

Neil waited, biting his lip impatiently. Until the call was connected, Neil started to open his voice with his throat choking from crying. He whispered, "Father?"

"Neil, are you okay there? What happened?" Neil smiled faintly and felt a little relieved when he finally heard his father's voice for so long. Neil shook his head even though he knew Raihan didn't see him.

"Father?" called Neil again, not knowing where to start he was confused and scared. Afraid that later Raihan would think about it more and even make him sick. "Neil misses Daddy."

"Neil, what happened?" Raihan asked anxiously on the other end.

Neil felt the pain radiate to his head, so he had to grip his hair tightly and bite the inside of his cheek. Unknowingly a moan escaped his lips. He tried to speak as normally as possible. "Neil is fine, just wanted to talk to Dad."

"What hurts Neil?" asked Raihan again right on target, well aware of Neil's current condition.

Neil looked between his conscious and unconscious, he was dizzy and weak. The bitter and hot taste still lingered on his tongue and throat. "Daddy, what does a toy do?"

"What do you mean? A toy?" Raihan asked back.

"Someone said Neil was a toy. He said Riksa fucked Neil many times, but Neil doesn't remember. He also killed the people who raped Neil. Should we thank Riksa, Dad?"

"What are you saying, Neil?" Raihan sounded impatient as he shouted for clarity.

"Dad, Skylar here gives Neil alcohol. So Neil drinks it. It tastes bitter." Neil tasted his tongue now and then with the taste still lingering in his mouth.

"Dad, Neil sure you must be very ashamed to have a son like Neil. So Neil doesn't want to go home. Dad, you can forget about Neil from now on." Neil wiped his tears that fell without permission from the corners of his eyes. His chest was already tight.

"You're drunk Neil, don't talk nonsense!" shouted his father. However, Neil ignored him.

"Dad, even if Neil comes home. Daddy's house must be dirty." Neil chuckled imagining Raihan cleaning the floor every way he walked.

"Dad, can Neil cry? One last time?" he asked wiping the tears roughly down his cheeks.

No answer on the other end. Is his father angry?

"Father, can Neil die?"

Everything went dark and he felt numb all over his body.

No.

No.

Neil wanted to know the answer first, so he could do it.

***

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