Smoothest Criminal

Distant from the filthy town of Scalmourne and covered by a veil of green trees stood an imposing mansion. Carriages surrounded the premises of the structure, along with workers in off-gray jumpsuits. I lowered the cap on my head as I approached one group with a broad grin.

"Rough day, heh? Wonder what they need all this for," I said while gazing over the carriages. Only the carriage behind this group was still full of vaults, while the others had been emptied, with their contents being carried in by the remaining workers.

"All of them are fucking filled. The owner wants to avoid robbery. It's rich fuckers like this that keep our business alive," said the oldest guy in the group. His wrinkled face was stamped on with a frown that must never come off. "Wait, who are you?" the man asked.

"Ah, I am Ivan from team three. You guys are short a man, right?"

"So you are here to help. Well, whatever. Letov, Siyan, get to unloading."

At his call, two scrawny men came over, opened the carriage doors, and started removing the vaults. One person got on the carriage and heaved the vaults over to the other one, who received it on the ground. Three vaults in each carriage. The one on the ground, Siyan, I assume, hauled the vaults and placed them on the floor. Right when he lifted the second vault, his face scrunched up.

I found my target.

I nudged the guy next to me and lifted the vault with him. The old guy asked us to take this one to the first room on the second floor and took another vault himself. Along with the other guy, I carried the vault inside the mansion. We coordinated our movements, passing through the long passageways on the ground floor and reaching the stairwell.

"Oh, crap," I said, dropping the vault from my end.

"Hey! Lift it properly, you fool!"

"Sorry, sorry."

We continued our journey up the stairwell. Other workers scuttled about, moving vaults in different rooms and going back down.

"Hey! Again! Watch out, man!" The guy in front of me shouted, watching me drop the vault from my end again. I chuckled and continued onwards to the second floor. Two guys passed us by empty-handed. We eventually reached the room on the second floor, but not before I dropped the vault one more time.

We pushed the door open and swiftly placed the vault in one corner. Two more of the same vault occupied the place. Ah, why did that guy have to be so stupidly meticulous?

"Great! Because of you, we are the last ones. Can we move now? I have a family to return to," the man said.

I trodded towards him with tender eyes. "Sure," I said, "Just after you take a nap." I twisted my waist and elbowed the guy right in the jaw. Before he could even shout, he fell unconscious.

"Ah, what a tiring rascal. I can't believe that Adrion got so many vaults just to hide stuff from me." I stretched my shoulders and hopped over to the vault we had brought up. It was slightly heavier than the others, which were obviously filled with stone. I inserted a wire in the gap on the edges and pulled out a tiny stethoscope to break into the vault.

"Haha, this is the sixth time I am stealing from this bastard. He is even easier than that fucking mayor. I don't even need to focus to rob Adrion anymore!"

"Ahem! Ahem!"

"Truly! I am the smoothest of all smooth criminals. Just who can steal and get away like me? Fuck!"

"Ahem! Ahem!"

"Ah, what do you want!—" I jerked back at the annoying voi... Oops...

Standing behind me was a bald and gigantic hulk of a man. This picturesque thug was the owner of this mansion, the leader of the biggest gang in town, and the guy I am currently stealing from. "Fine day we are having, right, sir? I'll be on my way then. I hope you continue to be as beautifully bulky and... Um... shiny, as you are. Hahaha! Excuse me."

"Ivan! You fucking cockroach!"

**

Ivan, the purple-eyed man being dragged through the woods of Scalmourne, that's me. Though robbery is my forte, even the most patient of monks can lose their cool if a fly bugs their face for hours on end, what's wrong with an overconfident master thief?

"You see, Ivan. An odd cave popped up near our territory the other day. We thought it was a dungeon, but the magical energy was just too vast to be classified as a dungeon. It's something I had never seen before!" Adrion waved his hands around. To be honest. I would love it if he could just skip the speech, but things don't really seem to be going my way today.

"Agh, so I popped up at the perfect time for you to throw me in? I see your game." I said.

"Of course you do." Adrion pulled something and placed it in the pockets of my coat. "Don't die in there, alright? I'll end up needing another cockroach."

"That's a lovely parting gift," I said with a grin, and Adrion cringed in disgust. "It seems you will be worried about my health, Adrion." A life detector, this magical device comes in a pair, one of which keeps the other informed if its wearer is alive.

Eventually, we reached all the way to the cave. Adrion's goons nudged me towards the cave with stiff faces. It seems they were affected by the magical energy in here. Magic that, in this world, only I remained oblivious to. For a while, I just stood outside the cave, thinking of my next moves. Should I go in? I have some emergency supplies, but how long will they last?

While I was thinking of what was coming, Adrion rushed towards me. "I think I will have a good day now, bastard," he said, punching me square in the face.

I staggered backward and lost my footing, falling right inside the cave. A blanket of darkness assaulted my eyes and my vision went blank. Damn it! Dark magic?

I grunted and got back up. Adrion's goons will monitor the cave for a day, so I'll only be able to leave afterward, it'll be a shame to not explore, though.

Wait a second...

I can't hear anything!

I rushed towards the exit and saw the outside of the cave... Yeah, nope. It's still dark and quiet. My gait picked up speed to get out of this place. Just how far in did he punch me? Is this possibly a trap? I have never heard of such magic. No matter where I looked, there was only darkness. Even the back of my own hands shied away from my sight.

Well folks, Status update. It seems I am trapped in this cave where I can't see or hear anything. What a great day this is!