35

Ilang sandali munang naglapat ang mga mata naming dalawa ng lalaki bago ako ngumiti na nauwi sa tawa. The man also laughed and then opened his arms for me. Walang babalang pumaloob ako sa mga braso nito at yumakap.

"What are you doing here, big guy?" tanong ko rito nang may kakaibang sigla sa mga mata matapos ko siyang halikan sa pisngi.

"I had just a business transaction in the building. I heard nagpunta ka sa Monte Vega pero hindi ka man lang sumaglit sa bahay. How rude of you. Naghintay ako sa iyo para sa wala." Bumalik ito sa pagkakaupo at ipinagsalikop ang mga kamay sa tuhod.

Naupo na rin ako sa katapat na upuan habang naghahanap ng maisasagot. "You know I can't go to you. Magtataka ang asawa ko kung saan ako nagpunta. Unfortunately, he's... he's been tailing me so I need to be extra careful."

Dumilim ang mukha nito, sumandal, at tinitigan ako nang matiim. "You know you don't have to do this, Karina. I can always do what you wanted from the very start. Baby, come back to me already. I don't want you to endanger yourself more."

I felt like melting with his words. He is such a cruel figure in the clan that hearing these words from him no matter how often is still unusual. He is cold as ice and as ruthless as our head that everyone in the family will bow down to him even if it's against their will.

"Nag-usap na tayo 'di ba? Pumayag ka, remember? Alam mong ito ang kailangan ko para matapos na ang paghihirap ko."

"I know I know pero hindi mo pa rin maiaalis sa akin ang mag-alala. We both know very well that it will not just end after you take your revenge on them. This is deeper than you thought it is. Ayokong bumalik na naman tayo sa panahong iyon."

Natigilan ako sa ibig ipahiwatig nito. He meant the dark days of my past, the endless months I spent in the institution. It was definitely not nice, even sinister on my part but it was needed.

"I promise I won't be back in that era, kuya. Magaling na ako. I can handle myself better now. There are few instances where I couldn't help but respond to triggers but other than that, I'm good."

"You what?! You didn't tell me about this! Pack your things now Karina. Iuuwi na kita."

Naalarma ako sa gusto nitong mangyari kaya tumayo ako at lumipat sa tabi nito. Ginagap ko ang kamay ng kapatid at tiningnan ito ng seryoso. "Kuya, kailangan ko ito. You know why. Ilang taon akong nagdusa sa mga alaala. For years I've questioned myself and my worth. You have been by my side throughout so you know how I've suffered. I needed this so much. Please, kuya. Just this once. Let me handle this all by myself."

He sighed and pulled me into his arms. Pumikit at gumanti ako ng yakap dito. I missed this man so much. Ever since that accident, he's been there for me all day and all night. Siya ang kasama ko sa bawat bangungot, hinagpis, at sa tuluyang pagbangon ko. He made me who I am now and I'll be forever indebted to him. Dumating siya sa mga panahong sumuko na ako. He lifted me off the rubble that I am in and gave me his love. Hinamak niya ang lahat ng pagtutol ng angkan para sa akin.

I cannot be more thankful to any person in this world other than to him, my savior and my brother.

"Last chance. I'll give you this. 'Wag ka lang magkakamaling bigyan pa ng isa pang pagkakataon ang asawa mo dahil hindi ko alam ang magagawa ko sa kaniya. He is on the side of our enemy, remember that."

I simply nodded. "Thank you. Uuwi rin ako pagkatapos nito."

"That I will look forward to." Tumayo na ito kasama ako at hinaplos ang pisngi ko. "I better go."

"Sasabay na ako. I'm done here."

Inabot ko ang braso nito at magkasama na kaming lumabas ng pinto. Celeste bowed her head to my brother and positioned on my back. The other five men in their black suits also followed behind us.

"You said you had a business here. Can I ask what are you doing inside the lair's den?"

"The same thing can be asked to you. I was surprised to see Celeste outside. Now what we're you doing here?"

"Hey I'm a Gastrell and my husband owns a property here. It's only natural for me to visit our assets."

He snorted. "Your husband is a fucking spineless man who cannot man up to his responsibility. He may be a good businessman but he is no better than the Asturias. Do not ever go back to him I'm telling you. Itatago kita sa pinakasuluk-sulukang bahagi ng mundo para hindi ka niya mahanap."

I chuckled while we are stepping inside the elevator. "Don't worry. Not a cha—"

Just as the door of the elevator we're in is about to close, I caught Cholo's death stare on the other side of the hallway's elevator which just opened. He's looking at my hand in my brother's arm. I could only swallow as the doors completely shut in between us. I was shocked to see him like that as if he's ready to murder anyone.

"You better be. I'll move heaven and earth just to kill the man if he hurt you again. You've been through so much Karina because of him. Bumalik ka hindi para sa kaniya. Always guard your heart. It will only lead you to destruction."

I don't have the voice to answer. My mind was left on my husband's lethal eyes as he glared at where my hand is situated. It's the first time I saw him like that as if he's ready to run berserk.

Kahit ng magpaalam na ang kapatid dahil itutuloy na nito ang meeting ay naiwan pa rin ang utak ko sa mukha ng asawa. Hindi ko na nga nagawang itanong kung sino ang kausap nito. My memory is still recklessly taking a mile run back to his glaring eyes. Kahit ng nasa parking lot kami ay hindi ko pa rin maiwasang balik-balikan sa isip ang mukha nito kanina.

Would it be weird if I'm feeling butterflies in my stomach while remembering how he's sending daggers through his eyes? That would sound like a rotten emotion out from a cliche novels and movies but that's what exactly what I'm feeling now. I'm nervous and happy at the same time.

"Miss Karina, I think we have company," putol ni Celeste sa ngiting nakabalandra sa mukha ko.

"Oh? Who?" tanong ko rito nang makalabas sa building. Nakaparada lang sa labas ang Bugatti ko.

"Your husband, Ms. Karina."

Kasimbilis ng kidlat ang paglingon ko. And true to her words, Cholo is coming at me in long strides while uncuffing the sleeves of his white dress shirt. His eyes ablaze, the obvious flare of grim on his face.

Wala sa loob na napatitig na lang ako sa asawa. It's like I was nineteen again, watching in awe as he effortlessly sport those smile while talking to his friend in a car.

"Hey," I still remembered faintly saying before he caught my waist and kissed me in the broad daylight.

It's not just a smack or a simple kiss. It was a wild wet kiss that devoured my senses. He stucked his tongue right in and what's even horrible is I just opened my mouth and welcomed him like we're the only people in the confines of our room and not here outside an establishment with many people around who must have been shaking their heads in disbelief.

"Wife," called the hoarse and breathy voice after that abrupt claiming of my soul.

"W-What was that for?" I asked, my eyes closed and still in trance with what he did.

"It's an open-mouthed kiss. It's to brand you that you are mine and only mine alone. It's to warn away other men not to offer their arms to you because mine should only be the one to hold you."

I can't help but laughed at his seriousness. Dumilat ako at sinalubong ang nanunuot nitong mga mata. "Your jealousy... I find it unfounded and... cute."

I looked around to see people watching our way. Nahiya ako nang kaunti. Mukhang kanina pa nila na-witness ang mga nangyari. That's when I pushed him a little. What a scene to make in this busy lane.

"...and embarrassing," I finished my sentence. Itinulak ko uli siya palayo pero mas inilapit niya lang ang sarili sa akin.

"My wife is coming with me," he said while looking at Celeste who was blushing.

My secretary just nodded while hiding her face in the pile of the folders and envelopes in her arms. Cholo looked at me and pulled me to his car. Sumunod na lang ako dahil kahit ganito ako na overconfident ay tinutubuan din naman ako ng hiya.

"What was that for?" untag ko dito nang nasa daan na kami. Ito ang nagda-drive ng kotse samantalang nakasunod sa likod ang mga bodyguards nito.

"Do I need to kiss you again to answer your question? Who's that man?" May kalakip na talim sa boses nito.

"He's someone I'm planning on eloping with after I'm done making you fall for me. Siya lang naman ang sasamahan ko pagkatapos kitang pagsawaan. He's handsomer, wealthier, and very willing to give me his everything."

The car suddenly stopped and I just can't help but gasped when Cholo imprisoned me in his hands and kissed me savagely. His lips were crushing on mine while his teeth is nibbling at my lower lip. I tried responding but his movement is too fast and rude for me to chase.

"I didn't like everything you said," he said in a guttural voice. "Who said I'm allowing you to leave me for the second time? You came back for me so you will spend the rest of your life with me, Karina. I ain't taking no for an answer. You started it. I'm more than obliged to make sure you'll end up with me. Got that? Hmm?" He thumbed my lips and let go of me to get back behind the wheels again.

I was literally speechless for a minute. Screw this man for being so unpredictable! I thought he's still playing with me and just finding the time to trap me but hearing this from him with all the sincerity in his eyes is keeping me thinking hard about what his intentions really are.

"Do you know the guy? Did he get your name, your number? Did you tell him you're married and showed him your ring?"

"No, of course not! Why would I tell that to my possible prospect?"

Pinaningkitan niya ako ng mga mata at umiling. "You only wanted to be kissed over and over again. Well guess what? Your wish is my command."

Aktong ihihinto na naman nito ang kotse kaya tinampal ko siya at tinawanan. I rolled my eyes at him. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I told him to fuck off. Is that enough? And what are you doing there by the way? Did you come there because of Elizabeth?"

"That's my girl. Please do that to every man who will come your way," ani nito at kalmado nang tumingin sa daan. "I'm there for a meeting which I just canceled because I saw my wife holding a man's arm."

I slumped in the seat and crossed my legs. "You know I didn't mean that. It was just a joke! I... I was just holding him for support kasi nga I'm afraid my shoes would give way. Ang OA mo. Do you really think I could look at another man while I'm crazily running after you? You're dumb. Buti gwapo at mayaman ka."

He glanced at my feet with a smiling eyes then back to my face and then to the road again. "Oh I'm sorry, wife, but I mean all of what I've said. You will stay with me forever." He put his hand on my thigh and squeezed it. "It's your fault. Pinagpaguran mong makuha uli ang atensiyon ko. Now that you've earned it then you must enjoy it at all cost."

My smile disappeared. I wasn't just aiming for attention. I want his heart, his soul, whatever that Elizabeth has on him.

"Hindi mo talaga ako papakawalan kahit pa sabihin kong prank lang ang lahat? That I was just fooling around cause I'm getting bored? That one day I thought what about I go back to my hometown to see my first love? What if I messed up his life just a little bit just like how he messed up mine? What if I'm not really in love with you, Cholo?"

"On what ground?  If that were true then you must not be the Karina I love because she will never do that to anyone. She may have changed but I doubt if she will really pull a stint like that. I know her. She's brave with a pure heart. She's willing to sacrifice herself for the people that she loves. She's courageous and selfless. She's sweet and innocent. You may be different from the past person I know but I still like you then and now. It's not in your character."

My face got dimmer. He's still in denial to accept that not a glimmer of the past Karina remained in me other than the pain. Naghuhumiyaw na ang katotohanang matagal ng patay ang minahal niyang babae kung totoo man na nagkaroon siya ng espesyal na pagtingin sa akin noon.

It's the new me now. I'm not the Karina he used to know anymore. Nakakainis lang na patuloy pa rin niya akong ikinokompara sa mahina at mangmang na babaeng iyon. She's useless and weak, the exact opposite of the person I'm now.

"We just had sex and you saw me crying. The next morning, you suddenly liked me. Oh please Cholo. Get an acting lesson first. You suck."

Nawala na ang magandang pakiramdam ko kanina. Napalitan na ng  galit at inis.

"Hindi kita maintindihan. I thought you wanted me to get warm with you. Now that I've said I liked you, galit ka. I don't understand you anymore, Karina."

"Cause I know you're not sincere. Kahit naman ibinaba ko na ang pride at nagmakaawa sa iyo para sa kapiranggot na atensiyon mo, hindi pa rin mawawala sa akin ang umasa na buong-buo mong ibibigay sa akin ang pagmamahal mo. But I guess it's too much to ask. On the contrary, I'm thankful. At least you're giving me a chance. Pagkakasyahin ko na ang sarili ko dun."

Tumanaw ako sa labas para hindi niya makita ang pagbalatay ng sakit sa mukha ko. Pinahinahon ko ang sarili at itinatak sa isip na ayos lang. Malapit na rin namang matapos ang lahat. It's okay, Karina. It's the last time you're going to do this.

"I'm not just giving you a chance. I'm giving you my all. Again. Just please promise me that this time, you'll stay. Don't left me hanging and questioning myself why we didn't work out." Inabot niya ang kamay ko at ipinagsalikop sa kamay nito at inilagay sa ibabaw ng hita nito. "I'm willing to listen and accept your explanation. Tell me everything that happened. Magsisimula tayong muli. We'll correct the mistakes we've made and forgive ourselves. Let's start anew, Karina."

Madali lang sabihin pero napakahirap niyang gawin, Cholo. Forgiveness? It's not in my book until I've crushed them. Magsisimula tayong muli? Nauna na akong magsimula at sisiguraduhin kong tatapusin ko ito. We can never start anew because we will always detest each other one way or another. I need to

crush you, your family, the love of your life, and your dreams in order for me to get going. We're bound to hate each other in the end.

But instead of saying that, I just acted like I'm thrilled with the idea.

"Can you really forgive me, Cholo?" I asked in a mixture of hope and sadness.

He looked at me, surprised with my question.

"Of course I can. In fact, I think I just did."

I lowered my face to hide my bitter smile. "Thank you. Thank you so much. You made me the happiest woman on earth."

Pinisil ko ang kamay nito at humilig sa braso nito. I closed my eyes and released a grin.

Tumunog ang cellphone ko kaya napabitaw ako kay Cholo. Kinuha ko ito sa bag at binasa ang mensahe na mula sa kapatid.

Nakalimutan kong sabihin sa iyo kanina. Handa na ang misa para mamaya.

Huminga ako nang malalim nang mamasa ang mga mata ko. Unti-unti ring nagsikip ang dibdib ko kaya ibinaba ko ang bintana ng sasakyan para makapasok ang hangin.

Tumingin sa akin si Cholo, clueless about the storm that's happening inside me. "Who's that?"

"Just a delivery notification."

Nginitian ko siya ng pilit at kinapa ang dibdib. Umaasang sa pamamagitan nito ay maibsan kahit papaano ang sakit na dulot ng mga alaala.