Tiger!!

The four conscious members of the household stare at Dudley's unconscious form for a few moments. Then the screaming begins.

It quiets back down as soon as Petunia faints though, so our ears are fine. Vernon is still sitting at the table though, now pale as a sheet. Meanwhile, Harry and I have rushed to the window in the living room, hoping to see the tiger!

It's not like we've seen one before outside of books. Ah, books. A bullied person's best friend. Thanks to books, I know exactly what to do if the tiger shows up at the door! Throw some sauce on the Dursleys and hope it mistakes them for prey! Afterall, tigers typically hunt large animals, and Vernon's as large as they come.

Looking out, we don't see anything. But after a few more minutes we manage to see it. The large cat is walking down the center of the street. It prowls along the road, sniffing its surroundings with great caution. Its fur glistens in the morning rays, a byproduct of the pre-dawn mist. It's face is regal, the tufts of fur on its cheeks looking soft enough to cuddle!

It looks freaking adorable!

Ignore the blood on its paws and muzzle.

Even if it is adorable, even I know better than to go out and try to pet it! Right?!

...

Dang, unfortunately I do.

I let out a sigh, knowing that I can't give in to temptation and try to attempt cuddling the fluff. Next to me though, Harry seems to be hyperventilating.

"Is that blood? Does that mean it's killed someone? Or maybe it killed an animal? But if it was hungry, would it have gone after larger prey or more familiar prey? It shouldn't come over here since they typically avoid humans, but since that's the case, why is it here?"

I flick his forehead to knock him out of his ramblings.

"Less rambling more staring. We aren't going to get another chance like this. How many kids can say that they saw a tiger outside their house? Outside of Asia. Almost none! Their families probably dragged them to some room to hide from it, like boring people! They lack a sense of adventure and bravery!"

Finished with my little speech, I turn my attention back to the tiger, only to see it disappearing farther down the street.

I sigh in disappointment. (Oh well, it was cool while it lasted.)

Shrugging my shoulders, I turn away from the window. Harry continues to stare at it for a while longer, probably waiting to see if the tiger comes back. I doubt it though, it gave off the sense that it was looking for something interesting. Not sure how I know that, but whatever.

Back in the kitchen, I stare at the mess. Dudley passed out on the floor, Petunia passed out at the table, and Vernon... might be passed out? With his eyes open?

I wave my hand in front of his face a few times to see if I can get a reaction, but nothing. I smirk as I go to the household's obligatory junk drawer, and grab a marker. This will be fun...

It's another thirty minutes before any of them snap out of it. Surprisingly, Petunia is the first to wake up. She raises her head from the table and looks around. The first person she sees is Vernon, and she can't help but let out a small giggle. Concern takes over immediately after though and she's quick to shake him awake.

He awake groggily, blinking in confusion, then more rapidly before rubbing them to try and work some moisture back in them after having his eyes open so long.

He looks at Petunia before asking, "What happened?"

She starts as she remembers why they fainted in the first place! "Dudley!" She turns her attention to her passed out son and gently shakes him. Quietly calling his name as she does. After a few minutes of this, he wakes with a groan.

A quick blink, and then he jumps up, nearly hitting his mother in the chin with his head. "A tiger! There's a tiger in the streets! It was chasing me! I need to hide!" He starts to hyperventilate before Petunia manages to calm him down.

"It's ok Dudley, the tiger isn't here. You're safe."

He takes a few deep breaths before he looks to her, tears in his eyes. "T-t-thanks mum. I feel a bit better now.

Of course, at this point I NEED to interject. "Harry and I did see it outside the house half an hour ago though. It's gone again though."

It doesn't seem like they heard the second part as Dudley immediately faints again.

Vernon is furious of course. "YOU BLOODY LITTLE CADGERS! GO TO YOUR CUPBOARD! AND DON'T LEAVE UNTIL DINNER!"

I shrug and motion Harry to follow as I make my way there. He gives Vernon a quick glance, clearly smothering a laugh as he does, before following.

Vernon looks confused for a moment before he catches his reflection in a conveniently placed mirror on the table. It's covered in doodles! A unibrow, a monocle, and two balls on his chin!

His scream of rage is loud enough that it manages to startle the tiger, wherever it is, and it begins running to where the familiar scent of the zoo is. Afterall, there none of the strange two legs approach it unless they have food.