Chapter 13: Beneath the Surface l

-- SUNDAY, DECEMBER 9, 2007 --

"C'mon six ... c'mon six..." Eden chanted while shaking up the dice in her right hand.

"Ha, it's a seven. You're robber-bait!" I cheered.

"Dammit!" Eden sighed. "There goes my city."

"You're at eight cards yourself, Ben. Lose 'em," Eve Song pointed out.

I glanced at my hand and groaned. I hadn't been trying to cheat or anything. I'd simply lost track and forgotten. Settlers of Catan wasn't an overly complicated game, but there were a lot of rules for a relatively new player to remember. Still, I knew that the intent of the game was to reach 10 points, and since I was stuck at only 5 points myself, I figured I didn't have a snowball's chance in hell of winning. It had been much more fun to try and stop Eden from winning, seeing as she was at 8 and threatening to go to 9.

So I silently cheered as Eden discarded half of her cards, and I obediently discarded half of mine as well. It was Eve's turn next, and after rolling a five and picking up her clay card, June's little sister turned to me and offered, "Two grain for your wood. That'll replace the grain you lost from the robber so you can still get your city on your next turn."

"Don't do it," Emma immediately warned me. "She's trying to take Longest Road."

"I am," Eve admitted while giving me a friendly smile. "But a city for a road is a damn good trade. And if I take Longest Road away from Eden, she drops back down to 6 and you help me keep her from winning."

I arched an eyebrow at Emma. "Aren't those both good things?"

Emma sighed. "But if Eve gets Longest Road, she goes up to 9. And if she has a victory card stashed away in there, then she'll win here and now. Game over."

Eve shot my baby sister a dirty look.

"What?" Emma shrugged. "You think I'm gonna let you take advantage of the newbie so you can win?"

Eve stuck her tongue out and blew Emma a raspberry. "Fine, I'll do it myself." She traded in three sheep to get her own wood, and turned in a clay card as well to set down a new road. That left her standing pat with her two grain and one remaining clay card.

Frowning, I studied Eve's move, which put her longest road at seven to tie Eden's. Not enough to actually steal the two points away, but it would only take one more road to do so, and I now realized that had I made the trade, she would've indeed had enough material to get the second road. Shaking my head, I admitted, "I think I've got the mechanics of this game down, but the strategy involved can be really complex."

Emma grinned. "That's why we love playing."

"On the one hand," I continued. "I'm not really in any position to win the game myself--"

"Never say never," Eden mused.

"Well, not likely," I maintained with a shrug. "But I'm still in a position to influence which of you wins. I mean, if I have to choose between Eve and Eden, well Eden IS my sister and--"

Eve waggled her finger. "Nuh-uh-uh. There's no place for sibling favoritism in the game."

"Fair enough." I grinned. "But it still feels like I'm weighing my own self-interest while balancing my 'in-game' relationships with the three of you. It's actually not so different from my romantic life at home."

"You're drawing an analogy between the game and juggling your multiple girlfriends?" Eden teased. "Trying to please all of them at the same time?"

"So you're saying he's susceptible to female persuasion?" Eve gave me a flirtatious smirk. "Hey Ben, what if I promised you the most amazing backrub if you'd trade me another wood?"

"Eve..." Eden warned.

I laughed. "I get plenty of backrubs whenever I want, thank you very much."

"And what if I offered... more than just a backrub?"

"Eve..." Eden warned even more strongly.

"What? Can't blame a girl for trying."

Chuckling, I shook my head and shrugged at the pretty Chinese girl. "Your sister would castrate me if she ever found out."

"Who says she'd ever find out?"

"No deal." I grabbed the dice and prepared my own roll. "One thing I have learned is that you can't please everyone all the time. Sometimes you have to just roll the dice and see what happens."

Brooke, DJ, and Dawn came home from the gym just as I was packing up to leave. Their hair up in functional ponytails and wearing minimal makeup on their faces, they were nevertheless quite gorgeous and undeniably sexy, especially in their spandex sports bras and skintight cropped pants. Still, none of them wanted to plaster their sweat all over my clean shirt, so all I got were pecks on the lips in greeting instead of full-body hugs. That's when DJ noticed that I was already carrying my messenger bag over my shoulder and the small roller suitcase had its telescoping handle up.

"Wait, you're leaving already?" she complained. "It's not even dinnertime!"

"Not even dinnertime on Sunday," I pointed out with a shrug. "I usually leave before lunchtime on Saturday. I've been away from my family long enough this weekend."

"We ARE your family," Brooke drawled.

"You know what I mean."

"But I'm horny," DJ whined.

I gestured with my eyes back toward the living room. "You know the twins are here ... with a friend."

DJ frowned and glanced behind me. "What, Eve? She already knows I'm banging you."

I sighed. "You ladies have had me since Friday night. Seriously, I have to go home to my son, my baby mama, and my actual, 'official' girlfriends."

DJ elbowed Dawn. "So make us actual, official girlfriends again."

I popped my eyebrows. "Is that what you really want?"

Dawn frowned and looked thoughtful, but DJ shrugged and replied, "Well I wouldn't mind. Not really so different a situation from Dayna."

Rubbing my temples, I thought about it for two seconds before saying, "Look, that'll have to be a discussion for another time. Seriously, I gotta go or I'll miss my train."

Whimpering, DJ stepped forward and kissed me again. She held my head and probed my lips with her tongue. When I let it in, she leaned into me, pressing her big boobs into my chest, sweat stains be damned, and started grinding her crotch against my leg with more than a little bit of urgency.

But I wasn't about to let her seduce me into a bedroom. I really DID have to go, and if I didn't cut her off now, I might never make it back to my apartment before it was time to go to work on Monday. Gently but firmly, I pried the horny blonde off my face and gave her a serious look that said 'No'. She pouted, but by then I'd already stepped up to Dawn to give her a more sedate kiss goodbye.

"I'll see you next week. Probably a good idea for us to go to The City," Dawn offered. "Maybe that way you won't feel so torn between two places at once."

I smiled and replied, "Actually, I'd appreciate that. Sasha was asking about you the other day. Says it's been too long."

Dawn grinned at that, but Eden (or was it Emma?) complained from somewhere behind me, "Hey, you're not coming here next week?"

Turning back toward the living room, I called, "You're always welcome to come to ME. Bye girls!"

The three teenagers at the dining table waved goodbye. I gave Brooke a big smile, nodded at Dawn and DJ, and finally escaped out the door.

Checking the clock on my phone, I whistled. I really would have to hustle lest I miss my train.

"Hey, Ben," Sasha called as I walked through the door. She was nestled under Adrienne's arm as the two cuddled on the couch watching TV. Adrienne didn't even look up at me, engrossed as she was in whatever program they were watching.

Slipping off my shoes in the foyer, I first took my messenger bag and suitcase down the hall to my bedroom. Then, I returned back to the kitchen to find Kim puttering around making dinner while BJ sat on the floor just on the other side of the baby gate lining up his plastic Tonka trucks in a single-file line.

"Heya, little man," I greeted while squatting beside him and stroking his head. "Miss me?"

My son looked up from his trucks and gave me a four-tooth grin. "Da-da!" he cheered enthusiastically, a drool bubble popping out from the corner of his lip.

I chuckled and raised the bib he wore around his neck to catch the drool rolling down his chin. "Can Daddy have one?" I asked, gesturing at the trucks.

BJ stared at the trucks for a few seconds, following my hand gesture, but I wasn't totally sure whether or not he'd understood what I was asking. Still, a moment later he grabbed a red fire truck and held it up in front of me.

"Why thank you!" I said warmly as I reached out to take the truck, but before I could actually grab it, BJ jerked the fire truck away from me and trapped it against his chest. His possessive frown made his intentions quite clear.

I laughed and rubbed his head again. "That's okay, little man. You can keep it."

Kim came over to the baby gate just then and sighed. "BJ... share."

Our son glanced up at his mother and pouted. "Mii," he complained, his way of saying the word 'mine' without actually articulating the 'n'.

"Share. Daddy will give it back to you."

His eyebrows furrowed and looking for all the world like he'd rather do anything but share his trucks with me, BJ nevertheless looked at his trucks again and used his left hand to retrieve a blue tow truck. Still clutching the red fire truck to his chest, my son haphazardly tossed the blue tow truck in my general direction without looking and went back to playing with his other ones, turning his back to me and crawling on all fours as he drove the red fire truck directly away.

Kim sighed and shot me a helpless look.

"Thanks, Mommy," I told her, holding up my blue tow truck. I puckered up for a kiss and she leaned over the gate to peck me on the lips.

"Dinner will be ready in twenty minutes. Spend some time with him, yeah?" Kim suggested.

"Of course," I replied.

"I mean it." Kim gave me a sharp look. "Don't let one of the girls steal you away for a 20-minute quickie. You know how they can get after going two nights in a row without Big Ben."

I gestured toward the couch across the room where the backs of Adrienne's and Sasha's heads could still be seen, both of them intently pointed at the TV. "Kinda doubt that happening right now."

Kim frowned but shrugged and turned back into the kitchen. In the meantime, BJ pulled a quick U-turn with his fire truck, pushed it right back at me, and started rolling it right up the side of my leg while making growling out engine noise sound effects.

"Vroom, vroom," I growled myself, sending the blue tow truck after BJ's red fire truck.

My son giggled, pulled his fire truck away, and quickly circled around behind me, forcing me to spin in place after him. He kept giggling, I started laughing, and I realized...

You really should do this more often.

I was just about to say that myself.

-- MONDAY, DECEMBER 10, 2007 --

June was gonna kill me.

After an exhausting Sunday night, I had an 'ordinary' Monday morning, which for me meant that I was late to work again. I'd claim that it wasn't entirely my fault, since it was satisfying the demands of my ladies that made me late. I suppose I could've said 'no', but the girls had a point when they complained that I owed them for being gone all weekend. I didn't have the heart to turn them down, so an on-time arrival at the office just wasn't gonna happen.

Not that June was actually gonna kill me. All she really said was, "You're late" as I wearily dropped into the desk chair in my cube.

Hell, I was too tired to even feebly explain anything about my girlfriend(s) not letting me get out on time, so June couldn't even interrupt me by dryly stating her disinterest in hearing about it.

My lack of any verbal response must have piqued her interest, though, because she butt-walked her desk chair around the 42-inch high partition between us and into my cubicle area. Seeing that I had yet to even fish my laptop out of my messenger bag, she looked at me with an expression of honest concern before asking, "Are you alright?"

Blinking in surprise, I arched an eyebrow and sat up a little straighter. Her question had sounded sincere enough, but the tone of genuine interest was still weird to hear coming out of her mouth. "Um, yeah," I muttered and took a deep breath. "I'm fine."

She furrowed her eyebrows and scrutinized my appearance. Though no longer slumped so haphazardly in my chair, I still did not sit fully upright nor meet her gaze. Sighing, June canted her head to the side. "She said you were spreading yourself too thin."

I blinked twice. "Who said?"

"Kim."

"When?"

June shrugged. "Saturday."

I frowned. "Care to elaborate?"

Shaking her head, June replied, "Not here. Doesn't matter anyway. We've got work to do." She turned and started butt-walking her desk chair back to her side of the partition.

"C'mon. You can't say something like that and just walk away."

Already back in her cube, June looked around her surroundings, shrugged, and replied, "I just did." And then she turned to resume typing at her keyboard.

For about three seconds I thought about pursuing the conversation, digging deeper to figure out exactly what Kim and June had talked about on Saturday. But in those three seconds I realized that June had a way of NOT being forthcoming unless she felt like it, and I was honestly too tired to try fighting that particular battle right now.

So with one last sigh, I bent to fish my laptop out of my messenger bag, docked it, and started to log in. As wonderful and as varied and as perfect as my personal life was going, I still had a job to do.

"You're not going to let this go, are you?" June sighed while poking at her Caesar salad.

"I'm not pressuring you, but is it so unreasonable for me to wonder what you and Kim said about me? You opened this can of worms with that comment this morning." I forked another piece of my Chicken Romano and popped it into my mouth.

"Well you can ask Kim yourself when you get home. It's not my place to speak on her behalf."

"And I will ... when I get home. In the meantime, I can certainly ask you for your side of the conversation."

"There IS no 'my side' of the conversation. I didn't go over there to talk about you and your six girlfriends. I went over there for ... well... you know." The way June blushed and averted her eyes made it obvious what she meant.

Taking a deep breath, I began, "First of all, I don't have six girlfriends."

"Dawn, DJ, Dayna, Kim, Adri--"

"Dawn and DJ don't count. And neither does Kim, technically."

"Whatever."

"Secondly, even if talking about me and my girlfriends wasn't your purpose in visiting Kim, a conversation about me and my girlfriends still took place."

June shook her head. "You're making a bigger deal out of this than it needs to be."

"How am I supposed to know how big of a deal it should be if you won't say a single word about what the deal is?"

Rolling her eyes, June sighed, set her fork down, and rubbed her temples. "Fine. Kim said that you were spreading yourself too thin. Whether you have three official girlfriends or six or nine or whatever, it's more than most men have to deal with. She said she knows you're doing your best to spend time with each and every one of them, but there ARE a lot of them and there are only so many hours in the day. All of these girls are used to sharing you, and used to you splitting your time amongst them, so no one is out and out blaming you or anything. But still, Kim believes that none of them feel like they're getting enough quality time with you, and that lack of sufficient intimacy is starting to wear on them."

Furrowing my eyebrows, I thought about all that for a moment before saying, "Kim TOLD you all that?"

June shrugged. "Oh, and she thinks you don't spend enough time with BJ, either."

I grimaced. "Okay ... well now I know it really IS a pretty big deal."

June winced and immediately raised her hand palm out. "No, I don't want you to go off thinking the sky is falling and you need to immediately take drastic action or anything. It's not like Kim was out and out complaining or anything. This was one small part of a much larger conversation she and I had about many other topics. This just so happened to be one part of a topic that was relevant to you, and when I saw how tired you were slumped in your chair this morning, I thought about Kim's comment about you spreading yourself too thin. That's all."

I shook my head. "It's a big enough deal for her to say it to you, period. I'd rather try to nip the problem in the bud BEFORE it becomes a 'sky is falling' kind of big deal, you know? And to be honest ... I've noticed myself that things haven't quite been peachy-keen in all of my relationships."

June frowned. "But you always talk about how happy you are, how perfect things have been turning out for you."

I winced and pinched my forehead. "Yeah, I should never say that sort of thing aloud. It's usually when karma comes around to kick me in the teeth."

"Are you not happy?"

"Of course I am. Everything HAS been turning out perfectly for me, and I'd like nothing better than for my life to stay status quo forever."

June raised both eyebrows. "Weren't you the one telling me that 'status quo' never lasts forever?"

I shrugged. "Doesn't mean I can't try. What, you'd rather I deliberately sabotage my perfect life?"

June blinked. "You do if the 'perfect life' is just a façade, something that looks great on the surface, but ... well... beneath the surface it really needs fixing."

"Right, right." I leaned back against the booth and took a deep breath. "I suppose things HAVE been going a little too smoothly for a little too long."

"So what, you agree that your perfect life is a façade? And that beneath the surface, something is rotten in the state of Denmark?"

"Well I wouldn't go THAT far, but yeah, there's really no such thing as a 'perfect life'. Every relationship needs maintenance, and I'm doing my best to do that. So if Kim is actually telling you I don't spend enough quality time with BJ – or with her, for that matter – then I've got some work to do." Taking another deep breath, I smiled and reached over to pat June's free hand. "Thank you for telling me. Better the problem I know about than one ... beneath the surface ... that I don't know about."

"You're welcome," June replied with a warm smile. But the smile lasted only for a moment before it disappeared and she gave me a look that could vaporize steel. "You can let go of my hand now."

I chuckled, removed my hand, and we both returned to our meals.

"Look, Daddy's home!" Seated on the sofa, Kim pointed toward the front door to direct BJ's attention as he looked up from his spot on the floor amidst a dozen toy Tonka trucks.

My son looked up, smiled his four-tooth grin, and immediately cheered, "Joo!"

Kim beamed at my companion. "Hi, Auntie June."

"Hey, kiddo," June greeted as she kicked off her shoes and walked past me into the living room. She immediately knelt down at the edge of the rug and opened her arms while BJ got up and ran over to hug her. Scooping up the boy, June teased his nose with the tip of her finger for a second or two before setting him back down on the floor. "Go play."

BJ obediently returned to his trucks while I came to a stop at the edge of the rug with my arms open and an expression of disbelief. "Hey! Where's my hug?"

"Da-da!" As if only now seeing me for the first time, BJ got back up and toddled over as I knelt down and got a hug of my own. I ruffled my son's hair and pivoted so he could sit in my lap. I wound up sitting cross-legged on the edge of the rug with BJ perched on my right thigh. He fumbled around for a moment before proudly holding up his favorite truck in front of my face, muttering, "Fyah Trug."

"That's right: Fire truck," I agreed. I knew better than to try and take it. He was only showing me his fire truck, not offering it.

BJ scrambled out of my lap and hurried over to the rest of his trucks. Without bending his knees, he stooped at the waist and picked up a familiar tow truck. Running back to me, he presented me with the tow truck and this time I took it from his hands. "Thank you. Blue truck."

"Boo," he mimicked.

"It's blue, that's right," I agreed with an exaggerated nod.

BJ beamed at me, proud of his accomplishment, and then turned and ran back to the rest of his toys.

Kim smiled down at me before glancing at June. "Can you two stay and play with him? Or do you have work to do?"

"Work," I replied with a sigh. "Mondays."

"We can do our work after dinner," June suggested. "Nothing critical."

"Great!" Kim said enthusiastically. "Dinner'll be done in thirty minutes. Just us; the ladies went out tonight."

I nodded and crawled after BJ. There were several ramp sets that were actually meant for Little People cars, but they worked just fine for his Tonka trucks, and I pulled a couple of them out of the toy bin to set on the floor. BJ's eyes lit up, and he promptly began growling various "vroom" noises while racing his trucks up and down the ramps. He got even happier when I started chasing his trucks with my blue tow truck.

June, meanwhile, got up and headed into the kitchen after Kim. I heard them start chatting about the meal and more or less tuned them out. Over the next thirty minutes I did listen in every now and again just to see if they were talking about something juicy, but each time the topics were of no interest to me.

Eventually, the four of us settled around the dining table to eat. Kim focused on feeding BJ while June got us started on our work discussions. A half-hour later, Kim bathed BJ while June and I holed up in my room to finish the rest of our work. And an hour after that, June patted BJ on the head goodbye, pecked Kim's cheek, and gave me a sort of shy wave before leaving the apartment.

I carried BJ into Kim's room and put him in his toddler bed. He picked out a book for me to read to him and I sat on the floor leaning back against the bed frame, reading the exact same Sesame Street book I'd read to him every weeknight of last week. And when I was done, I kissed my son's forehead goodnight, let his mommy kiss him eight or nine times all over his face, and we parents walked through the open Jack-N-Jill bathroom to my bedroom, leaving the doors open so he could hear us talking as he fell asleep, but without needing the crutch of having one of us in the room with him.

Usually, it worked.

"So how was your day?" Kim asked me once we settled on top of my bed, a typical question she used to jump start a dialogue that would keep our voices loud enough for BJ to hear. We usually only needed to keep it up for ten minutes or so before he passed out.

"Had an interesting conversation with June at lunch, actually," I replied. "She told me you thought I was spreading myself too thin."

Kim frowned but shrugged it off. "Well, you are."

"That none of my, quote, 'six' girlfriends is getting enough quality time with me, and the lack of sufficient intimacy is starting to wear on them."

"Well, it is."

"Including you? Do we not have enough intimacy? We did have sex last Monday. Normally going a week without hasn't been such a big deal to you, but if it is, you know you're perfectly capable of approaching me whenever--"

"Typical Ben," Kim interrupted. "Always thinking it's about sex. It's NOT about sex. I get enough sex; really, I do. Believe it or not: women the world over do just fine having sex once a week or less, sometimes a LOT less."

I snorted. "Not the women in this household."

"True," Kim conceded. "But sex isn't the problem, and I thought you knew better than to confuse sex with intimacy."

I sighed. "I'm not confusing it, but I just wanted to make sure you were getting enough."

"Getting enough sex." She shook her head. "NOT the first thing you should have asked about."

"Intimacy? Quality time? Do you want me to take you on a date?"

Kim shook her head. "I have no need for romance."

"But you don't think you're getting enough quality time with me."

Kim sighed and stared at the wall for a second. "I'm fine, actually. I wish you'd spend more time with BJ, sure – tonight was a good step in that direction – but I'm not trying to make this about me. You're the father of my son, not my husband."

"Even though you call me 'shujin'."

"That's an endearment, but I don't have the same expectations of you as I would of a true husband. Nor do I have the same expectations an official girlfriend would have."

"Then it's about my official girlfriends: Sasha, Adrienne, and Dayna."

Kim nodded. "This isn't like casual dating out in the real world, where people spend the majority of their time doing their own thing with their own friends and only get together once a week. You LIVE with two of them, and Dayna's pretty close to a live-in girlfriend, and yet you rarely spend any significant amount of time with them."

I frowned. "I share beds with all three of them multiple times a week."

"Annnd you're back to sex again." Kim sighed. "Hours spent unconscious spooning on the same mattress – and hours spent banging each other's brains out – don't count as 'quality time', at least not in the sense I'm trying to get you to understand."

"You mean taking them out on dates."

"I mean dates, but I also mean just sitting on the couch having a conversation. I mean quality time. Hell, I think Dayna would settle for sitting next to you holding hands while you watch Conan together."

"So Dayna's been complaining to you."

Kim shook her head. "None of them are complaining, but things aren't very far off. I didn't expect June to say any of this to you. Originally, I'd planned on doing other, smaller things to try and get you to come to this realization on your own without resorting to me having to TELL you. Lessons are always learned better that way, but here we are."

I pursed my lips and frowned. Taking a deep breath, I collected my thoughts and began nodding as I slid closer to Kim and wrapped my arms around her for a hug. She let me embrace her and set her cheek down on my shoulder while I rubbed her back. And with a sigh, I said apologetically, "I'm sorry. I really haven't been spending enough quality time with you, and don't argue with me that you're 'fine'. I know you put up with a lot from me, but just because you can doesn't mean that you should."

Sighing as well, Kim tightened her grip around my midsection and nuzzled her cheek against my shoulder. "Thank you for thinking of me."

Sliding my hands up to her cheeks, I guided her head upright and lowered my own so I could look into her eyes. "There's no time like the present. It sounds like BJ's fallen asleep, and we have a big empty apartment all to ourselves. Why don't we go back out into the living room and cuddle on the couch? We can have one of those 'conversations' you say we don't have enough of and you can tell me more about your day and last weekend and everything else we haven't had enough time to talk about."

Giving me a rueful grin, Kim nuzzled her nose against mine side-to-side before backing away and turning the motion into a negative shake of her head. "I've got dishes to clean and laundry to fold."

"Dishes and laundry can wait." I arched an eyebrow and gave her a teasing look. "I could always order you to put off your chores and spend some time with me."

Kim blushed and averted her eyes, staring downward. I noticed a subtle change in her posture, and suddenly realized that my joking remark had actually struck something inside her. After all, we really hadn't had sex since last Monday.

"First position," I stated in a low but firm tone. I corrected my own posture, stiffening my spine and holding my head erect while gazing down at her.

My lithe, pretty Japanese baby mama smiled as she sat up straight and drew her legs beneath her body so that she knelt on top of her heels. Her smile broadened as she thrust her chin outward and clasped her hands together with fingers straight up and her thumbs touching her chest as if praying. And she gasped before whimpering in delight as I abruptly took her into my arms, dipped her to the side like they do in the movies, and gave her a sweet, tender kiss.

"Mammmaaaa!" BJ's cry crackled through the open Jack-N-Jill bathroom like a bolt of lightning, startling us both so much that I nearly dropped Kim. But I managed to not lose my grip and helped her sit upright.

With a sigh, Kim gave me a helpless shrug as she swung her legs off the bed and dropped onto the floor. Two seconds later, she was gone, and I was all alone in the room.

Parenthood.

-- TUESDAY, DECEMBER 11, 2007 --

"Mammmaaaa!" BJ's cry echoed through the open Jack-N-Jill bathroom, setting off some instinctive wake-up trigger embedded in the brain of every mother on the planet, and some fathers, including me. But though I sat up in a foggy haze, Kim patted my shoulder as she was already rolling out of bed.

"I got him. Go back to sleep," she told me.

Eyes half-lidded, I think I mumbled some kind of response, but I wasn't 100% sure about that. In any case, BJ stopped crying, subconscious commands to 'go back to sleep' turned off that instinctive parental wake-up trigger, and I found myself flopping back down onto my pillow.

Absentmindedly, my right hand slid inside my boxer shorts and wrapped around my morning wood. Although I'd had two perfectly good ejaculations with Kim last night (after BJ finally fell asleep for good and she joined me outside while I finished cleaning the dishes and folding the laundry), a good night's rest had Big Ben ready to go once more.

But my bed partner was now gone, and a glance at the clock told me my alarm would be going off pretty soon anyway. Really, I might as well get out of bed and start my morning routine so that I might actually get to work on time. But first, I wanted to rest my heavy eyelids for just another minute or two.

When my eyelids opened again, it was due to a very different instinctive trigger than before, one embedded in the brain of every male on the planet. It was the trigger that said, 'Someone is sucking your dick! Wake the fuck up and enjoy this, man!'

Sleepily, I glanced down to find big, beautiful hazel eyes staring back at me. Patting the top of Adrienne's blonde head, I smiled and yawned before muttering, "You're up early."

"She's horny," Sasha explained out of the blue, drawing my attention to the armchair on my right. "You and Kim were already holed up in here when we got home and she didn't want to intrude. But when we heard Kim and BJ awake in the living room, she figured it was an opportunity to get some action before you had to go to work."

"Just a quickie, I promise," Adrienne said after popping off my prick. She suited words to action by slithering up from under my sheets, opening the front of her satin bathrobe to reveal her naked body beneath. My supermodel girlfriend's snatch was already soaked, so all she had to do was swab my cockhead through her puffy pink pussy lips a few times before elevating my shaft into its upright and locked position and sinking herself straight down. "Ahhh..." she sighed in satisfaction.

"Ahhh..." I sighed as well.

"Mmm..." Sasha moaned from the armchair, both hands inside her bathrobe with one rubbing her tits and the other down in her crotch as she watched us.

True to her word, Adrienne made it a quickie. Ripping off her bathrobe and humping me rapidly, she got herself off within four minutes and then got me off a minute after that. She dismounted just before I came, taking my eruption into her mouth and holding the load inside.

Sasha had remained in the armchair, masturbating while voyeuristically watching us. She didn't quite cum, not until Adrienne crawled off the bed, grabbed her girlfriend behind the ears, and snowballed my load between them. Still tweaking her nipples and strumming her own clit, only then did Sasha finally squeak out a small climax. And Adrienne kept kissing her while the two girls slowly came down from their orgasmic highs.

Left alone on the bed, I had a little more time to reflect as conscious awareness returned to my brain. Only then did I remember what I'd talked about with June and Kim yesterday, and seizing the opportunity, I looked over and suggested, "Hey ladies. Want to meet up for lunch today?"

Breaking off their kiss, Adrienne turned back to me with a grimace and a frown. "Sorry, Tiger. I have a lunch meeting with a client. But you can go, sugar." The last part was directed at Sasha.

Sasha grimaced as well. "Already promised to go out with some girls from the office. Kelly wants to try this new Vietnamese place on Howard."

I shrugged. "Maybe go out to dinner then, instead of eating at home? Before Sasha and I go to Hip-Hop. The three of us could make it a date."

Adrienne arched an eyebrow, giving me a skeptical look. "What's going on?"

"Huh? Nothing's going on."

Her eyelids lowered halfway. "Then why are you so insistent about meeting us for lunch or dinner?"

"What? I'm not allowed to ask my girlfriends to meet up for lunch or dinner?"

Still seated in Sasha's lap, Adrienne folded her arms over her still naked chest, removing paradise from view. She did that deliberately sometimes to make sure I knew she was serious. And she shared a significant look with Sasha.

The brunette shrugged. "It's not an anniversary of some kind, or anyone's birthday."

The blonde frowned. "You think he maybe did something wrong and he's trying to butter us up for an apology?"

"Could be." Sasha looked thoughtful. "Or he might have some romantic surprise he's trying to be coy about without giving away the secret."

"Wait, wait, wait," I interrupted, waving my hands as I sat up in bed. "It's nothing, really. I didn't do anything wrong I need to make up for, and I don't have some grand romantic gesture to spring on you. Seriously, I just got to thinking that it's been kind of a long time since I went out on a date with either of you and I thought it might be nice for us to meet up. You know ... spend more quality time together."

The two girls shared another look. Adrienne cocked an eyebrow and gave me a smug grin. "Kim insinuated something, didn't she?"

"What?"

"We overheard her talking to June the other day about you not spending enough 'quality time' with everyone: Not enough playtime with BJ. Not enough intimate time with your girlfriends."

Sasha looked up and down Adrienne's still naked body. "You certainly don't have a problem taking intimate time whenever you need it."

"Exactly," Adrienne shrugged.

"Intimate time other than sex," I explained. "Intimacy. Sharing each other's lives. Giving you two the attention you deserve."

Adrienne blinked a couple of times before smirking and getting up from the chair. She came to sit down on the side of the bed beside me and reached out to lay her hand on my leg. "Is that what this is all about? Kim's got you thinking you don't pay enough attention to us? She made you think you're neglecting us or something?"

I gave her a sheepish look. "Am I neglecting you? Am I spread out too thin across too many girls to give my girlfriends what they really deserve?"

The girls shared a laugh and Sasha shook her head.

"Tiger, really. You don't have to worry about me and Sasha. We're fine," Adrienne explained before catching my frown and adding, "Bad word; I know you don't like 'fine'. But seriously, we're not feeling neglected."

"I mean, it's obvious you're spread thin," Sasha continued. "But we knew what we were getting into when we became your girlfriends. Monogamy doesn't exist in these relationships, and we always knew you'd be spending your time and sharing your life with other girls besides us."

"Not every guy gets this kind of free pass," Adrienne noted. "But anyone who wants to be with you should already understand that they're never going to be your one and only. I mean, you've got three official girlfriends, and all three of us know that Kim, Brandi, Dawn, DJ ... even Brooke and the twins ... will always be intimate parts of your life."

"Speaking of three girlfriends," Sasha began, "what about Dayna? Maybe she's feeling a little neglected by comparison. Could that be what Kim's getting at?"

Adrienne frowned. "Well she hasn't been around much this past week. And since she doesn't live here like us, she might be feeling more isolated away from you. Sasha and I can crawl into your bed or strike up a conversation whenever we want, but Dayna?"

Sasha brightened. "So hey, why don't you ask her out for lunch or dinner, even both. Call her up, ask her out on a date. It's been a while since your last one, hasn't it? I know she'd love it."

I blinked twice. "I ask if you two are feeling neglected and you want me to spend more time with Dayna?"

Adrienne giggled and leaned in to peck my lips, a movement which also pressed her big naked breasts right into my chest. My eyes briefly yo-yoed down to the swaying orbs as she sat back up, and she shook her head while giving me a mirthful grin. "We're fine, aren't we, sugar?"

"We're happy, honey," Sasha corrected her. "We both love you to death, and you're still the only man for both of us. We're happy girlfriends, we're not feeling neglected, and we totally understand that we need to share you and your ... intimacy..."

"Your 'quality time'..." Adrienne added.

"With the other girls," Sasha finished.

"So relax," Adrienne scolded, waggling a finger in my face.

"Call up Dayna," Sasha suggested. "In fact, why don't we skip the hip-hop class tonight? You can spend the whole evening with her."

"And don't worry about us, alright?" Adrienne got off the bed and went to sit in Sasha's lap again. "If nothing else, we always have each other for company."

The two happy girls kissed, and then turned in unison to smile at me.

"Okay then," I agreed. "Looks like I have a phone call to make."

"Oh, yesss..." Dayna moaned as she humped herself up and down in my lap. "Such a niiice dick ... Such a big beautiful prick ... Ungh ... Ungh ... Ungh..."

"Such a niiice pussy," I replied between pants for breath. "Such big beautiful breasts. Mmm..." I moaned while smothering my face in her buoyant, round melons, holding them in my hands and slapping them against the sides of my face.

Kim had a point that the majority of my time spent lately with Dayna had been for sex, various hookups in either her apartment or mine, most often without any romance, dinner dates, or even much foreplay. We were around each other socially quite a bit, usually home-cooked meals in my apartment and lounging around my living room, but those had almost always been group situations. Quite simply, she and I never spent much time together that didn't involve repeatedly sticking my penis into one of her three holes (or the valley between her breasts) until we both had happy orgasms, and many of those occasions weren't even one-on-one.

Tonight had been different in the sense that I'd actually taken her outside the apartment on a date this time. It wasn't our first date or anything, but it was probably our first solo date out on the town in at least two months. Dating had never been a big part of our relationship in the first place, and ever since I'd started heading over to Berkeley most Friday nights, there had been even fewer opportunities to do so.

I hadn't done anything particularly special for Dayna tonight. No carriage ride through Golden Gate Park. No big, dramatic gesture of romance. But I took her to a nice restaurant in Sausalito and afterwards drove up to Battery Spencer for a beautiful nighttime view of the Golden Gate Bridge. We talked, we laughed, we caught up on each other's lives.

We spent 'quality time' together, and I realized how much I'd missed doing so with Dayna. She'd always been a great friend, a surrogate big sister, and wickedly hot busty babe with a thing for swallowing my sperm. She'd spent her teenage and college years sowing her wild oats, sampling different varieties of men, but as she'd progressed into her adult years she'd certainly settled down while realizing she didn't want to settle for just any random guy.

"I'm not Brandi," she said from her spot on the bench beside me. "I don't feel any pressure from my biological clock to find Mr. Right or even Mr. Good Enough within the next year or two in order to keep on schedule for getting married and having kids before I turn 30. And I'm not going to get a boyfriend just for the sake of having a boyfriend and not being alone."

"Nobody is expecting you to."

Dayna gave me a rueful grin and squeezed my hand before looking up at the Golden Gate view. "Of course, it's easy for me to say all that when I've got you as an alternative, at least for now. Good friend, phenomenal sex, no pressure or expectations ... You're kind of the perfect boyfriend."

I sighed. "Except that I've got six other women in my life."

Dayna grinned. "Six gorgeous, bisexual other women in my life, just like me! Girls who love to play, who love to share ... Girls who I enjoy hanging out with, having fun and bonding as fellow harem-sisters ... When dating you means getting all of them as well? Shit, I even get an all-access pass to Adrienne's wardrobe! Her closet is like fashion Shangri-La for a girl with my build. Like I said: you're kind of the perfect boyfriend, at least for someone like me."

I chuckled. "Well I'm glad you enjoy sharing me with all your girlfriends. But still, that doesn't leave you and me a lot of one-on-one time."

"We get enough one-on-one time." Dayna shrugged. "Most women in this city only see their boyfriends once a week anyway. They spend five days at work and go home each night to their friends or family or cats. Friday night they meet their boyfriend for dinner, catch a movie, and have sex. Saturday morning they go back to their own homes and their own lives, do some laundry and maybe catch an afternoon nap. And Monday morning it starts all over again. I count my blessings for what I get from you, and I don't complain that you need to spend your time and share your life with other women I care a lot about – especially my own two little sisters."

"So you don't feel neglected? You don't feel like I'm not paying you enough attention? Because let's face it: before me you had Kevin all to yourself. He was the dedicated boyfriend you thought you might marry and grow old with."

"He was, but just because it didn't work out doesn't mean I'm in any kind of hurry to get into that type of relationship again. Kind of the opposite, actually." She shook her head, took a deep breath, and let out a long exhalation. "Kevin wanted me to settle down with him, to start planning for the future and think about raising a family. I loved him, I really did. It's why I tried so hard to become the type of wife he wanted me to be. But at the end of the day, it ... it just..."

"Just wasn't really you?" I ventured.

Dayna sighed and gave me a rueful smile. "Kevin and I were fucking for years before ever becoming boyfriend/girlfriend. He was one of my boy toys, and neither of us had any expectations of monogamy from each other. He told me more than once that I was too wild for him to ever marry, and I agreed with him. We kept saying we'd enjoy the ride for as long as it lasted – no expectations. But then a couple of months turned into a semester, a semester turned into a year, a year turned into two, and the next thing I knew we'd become an official couple."

"He tamed the wild filly."

Dayna shook her head in the negative. "He certainly tried. I was always the freak in the sheets, but he wanted the lady in the street to go with it."

"You can certainly be a lady when you want to be."

"In short bursts, sure. But all the time?" She sighed again and stared off into the distance. Shaking her head slowly, Dayna took a deep breath and gave me that rueful smile again. "I am who I am. Once I realized it – once Kevin realized it – our relationship was doomed. And the absolute LAST thing I want is to get into another serious, committed relationship with some guy who wants to tie me down."

I frowned. "Wait, does that mean ... I mean, I don't want you to think that I'm trying to tie you down or anything like that."

Dayna snorted. "You? No. Relax, we're peachy. You're fun, you're dependable, and you don't put any pressure on me to make this last forever. We have fun together, and I DO happen to like being 'official' and all that because it helps me feel like I'm not intruding on your relationships with Adrienne and Sasha. But you don't 'tie me down' in the slightest. You don't bitch about me staying out late drinking with my girlfriends the way Kevin did. You don't get all jealously possessive if I flirt with some hot guy in a coffee shop. You're there when I want to be with you and you don't get in my way when I want to do my own thing. Like I said--"

I grinned, finishing for her, "I'm kind of the perfect boyfriend."

"You are."

"That's great to hear. But at the same time, I DO want to make sure you don't feel neglected. I know you, and I know you wouldn't mind me fucking your brains out an extra night or two every week."

"True enough, but I won't complain. You spend the time with me that you can, and I'll enjoy it for as long as we last. I knew what I was getting into when we made this boyfriend/girlfriend thing official. Any girl who wants to be with you has to understand that she'll never be your one and only."

"That's what Adrienne and Sasha said."

"They were right. The difference is that you're Adrienne's fiancée now. We all know that someday ... maybe not right away ... but someday you two will sit down and actually start planning a wedding. When that happens, I'll certainly start thinking about the rest of my life and figuring out my exit strategy, assuming I don't bump into Mr. Right before that – maybe even multiple Mr. Rights," Dayna paused to flash me a naughty grin, "and you and I go back to being friends."

I frowned. "You're going to break up with me when Adrienne and I start planning our wedding?"

Dayna smirked. "Well maybe not immediately. But at the same time, I have no designs on marrying you, nor any expectations for you to keep me as a girlfriend forever. For now, I'm ... content ... to keep the status quo, and enjoy it while I can. But once you get married and start having kids and settle into a more... 'normal' ... life, well ... I'm only too aware that you most likely won't have a whole lot of room for me in it. BJ is enough of a time suck; I can't imagine how spread thin you'll be once you and Adrienne start having more."

I popped my eyebrows. "That's one thing we're still gonna have to work out. I mean, I love her to death, and I want her to be my wife. But she's still not 100% sold on this whole 'having kids' thing; she still has a lot of demons to face in that regard."

"Wait, you'd marry her even if she refused to have kids?"

"Well, I'd like to think she'll come around on the subject before we actually walk down the aisle." I took a deep breath and gave Dayna a serious look. "Adrienne knows how important having a family is to me, and quite frankly, she'll have to agree to it before we tie the knot. If she ultimately decides that she just can't do it, well we'll probably call off the engagement."

Dayna frowned. "Really?"

I shrugged. "But again, I don't think it's gonna come to that. And we're getting off-subject. I wanted us to talk about us."

Dayna shrugged. "Nothing else to say. I love you, Ben, but I don't ... What's that phrase Sasha used? 'Forever love'. I don't 'forever love' you. Just like I wouldn't settle down with just any random guy, I wouldn't settle for being a happy harem girl for the rest of my life, not even for you."

"That's fair. I totally understand."

She raised her hand to cradle my cheek, turning my face toward hers as she leaned in for a kiss. But before our lips met, she stared into my eyes with her big blue irises, smiling as she said, "But that's off in the distant future. Tonight is just ... tonight."

Thirty minutes later we crashed into Dayna's bedroom, kicking the door closed as we tried to strip our clothes off without separating our lips from each other's mouth. Eventually we did break the kiss, but only to pant for breath before using our mouths in other, more erogenous, places.

In the end, my sweetheart rode atop me in a cowgirl position, moaning about my niiice dick while I sang praises directly into her big beautiful breasts. After a while, she sat up and leaned back, planting her hands on the mattress behind her and thrusting her wobbly tits into the air while using the new angle to make my cockhead scrape against the upper wall of her pussy.

Raising my knees, I planted my feet flat against the mattress and used the improved leverage to launch my hips upwards and off the bed with each thrust, impaling her the last couple of inches and forcing repeated wails out from Dayna's throat. Over and over again I hammered my way up into her, until the busty blonde bombshell was flopping around like a rag doll while she rode my bucking bronco cock.

"Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!" Dayna wheezed. Her tits were gyrating all over the place and my eyes went wide as my next lustful urge kicked in.

I dropped my hips down, giving my legs a rest, and I also slammed Dayna down against my crotch. Grabbing hold of her hips, I moved my arms in a circular motion to rotate her around my pole rapidly so that Big Ben carved out the sides of her pussy, causing Dayna to whimper at the new sensations. And at the same time, I tugged her down just enough so that her torso collapsed back over me, thrusting those massive tits into my face where I could start nipping and biting at her nipples.

"Unnnnghh, Bennn!" she groaned, on the brink of orgasm.

I began suckling harder on her swollen left teat, and at the same time I tickled her ribs as I worked my hands around behind her bubble butt. Still carving my cock around the sides of her cunt, I managed to reach far enough to slip my middle finger through her winking sphincter, and at that very moment, I moved my head and bit down on her neck, sucking hard to mark this particular sweetheart as mine.

"FUUUUUUCK!" my girlfriend screamed as she shuddered in my arms. "FUUUUUUCK!" she screamed again.

Gripping her hips, I continued to rotate her cunt around my shaft while also bearing her clit down against my pelvic bone to maximize her pleasure. She thrashed and screamed and shuddered all throughout her climax, and when her body started to go limp in the aftermath, that's when I abruptly rolled us over.

"Oh, baby..." Dayna moaned, her eyeballs wobbling within their sockets in odd, uncoordinated directions. My cock had become dislodged when I rolled us, but she stiffened up and grunted when I slammed myself back in. She wrapped her left arm around my neck, clutching me tight as I dug into the mattress with my toes and really started to pound her. This soon after her previous orgasm, I knew Dayna was capable of having another if I stimulated her just right. And as close as I was to my own next ejaculation, I was hoping I could get us both off at the same time.

"Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck," Dayna chanted while I drilled her out. And sure enough, she added, "Oh, I'm going to cum again! I'm going to cum again!"

Fucking hard and at full speed, my whole body was aching with the exertion by now. As I rammed Big Ben in and out of her, I started carefully watching the expressions on Dayna's face, reading her reactions and carefully adjusting my angle and force until I saw the exact look in her eyes that I wanted to see.

My previous load this evening had gone straight down her throat, my self-avowed cumslut begging me to pull out, fuck her tits, and skull-fuck her until I blew. This load I wanted in her cunt, my sperm soaking into her womb and getting blended together with her own girlcum as well. And just when I thought my legs were about to give out, the right moment came.

Dayna's head tilted back as her chin shot up, exposing her neck quite vulnerably. Her mouth gaped open in a silent scream, her voice box not yet catching up to the explosion originating from her loins. Her spine arched and she thrust her tits up into my chest, but at the very same time, I thrust forward and practically knocked her flat against the mattress again, slamming my dick in to the hilt and letting out a fire hose blast of semen inside Dayna's clenching pussy. And right when the first wave splashed against her insides, Dayna finally managed to scream, "FUUUUUUCK!!!"

Her hips jerked at me. My hips jerked at her. Together we flung our bodily fluids at each other inside the rioting, spasming confines of her pussy. And we kept flinging fluids inside to splash up and mingle into a cum-laced cocktail until neither of us had anything left to give.

Sweaty, exhausted, but extremely satisfied, I collapsed down onto my lover's body, pinning her beneath my suddenly gone-limp weight. She cooed into my ear and clutched me with all four limbs, gladly accepting every pound of force pushing her down. And together, we gasped for oxygen while luxuriating in the heavenly bliss of orgasmic release.

Eventually, Dayna was the first one to speak. But rather than say a word about us or the passion we had just shared, instead she said, "You should totally do this tomorrow night with Brandi. I know she'd absolutely love it."

I thought about that, took a deep breath, and nodded. Picking my head up, I looked down into Dayna's big blue eyes and smiled. "That's a really good idea. And you're a really good best friend to her."

"Thank you," she replied primly before giggling and pecking my nose.

I bent lower and pecked her lips in response. "I love you, sweetheart."

"And I love you, boyfriend." She sighed then, with an almost melancholy tone as she added, "For as long as it lasts."

-- WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 12, 2007 --

My date night with Brandi was both similar to and different from my date night with Dayna the day before. I didn't do anything particularly special. No carriage ride through Golden Gate Park. No big, dramatic gesture of romance. Actually, there wasn't anything even remotely romantic about it. Brandi and I didn't hold hands, and we didn't kiss, and while some might have assumed we were boyfriend/girlfriend simply because we were a matched pair of male and female going out to a nice dinner, we certainly didn't act like a couple of lovebirds.

Instead of Sausalito, I took Brandi to a nice restaurant in Fisherman's Wharf amongst the tourists, where it was unlikely anyone would recognize us. Even if someone did, we didn't do anything too out of the ordinary for a brother and sister having a meal together. Instead of a nighttime view of the Golden Gate Bridge, I took Brandi up to Coit Tower to look over the city lights. We talked, we laughed, we caught up on each other's lives.

We spent 'quality time' together, and I realized how much I'd missed doing so with Brandi. She was my real big sister, someone I knew I'd be able to count on for advice and non-judgmental love and support for the rest of my life, and yeah she was an on-again/off-again lover. Someday, someday soon perhaps, we would go back to being "off". But taking a page from Dayna's playbook, I planned to enjoy it while it lasted for as long as it lasted, and be content with that.

While Brandi and I spent some time chatting while sitting side-by-side on a bench looking out over the San Francisco lights, our conversation didn't exactly follow the same track as yesterday with Dayna. I brought up my concerns about being too spread thin and not paying her enough attention and whether or not she felt neglected. Brandi brushed off my concerns as not even worth discussing. I was her brother, not her boyfriend, and I had zero obligations when it came to maintaining any kind of romantic intimacy. My priorities were and should be with my actual girlfriends, and if anything, Brandi felt guilty for sucking up time I could have been spending with Adrienne, Sasha, or Dayna.

"If you're spread too thin to pay enough attention to the rest of them, then I'm the first one you should be letting go," Brandi insisted. "What we have is on the side, in your available extra time. Even tonight could probably have been better spent with one of them instead of me."

I shook my head. "But -I- wanted to be here tonight with YOU. It's not entirely up to my girlfriends to dictate how I spend my time; I get a say in the matter as well. And sister or not, girlfriend-status or not, I love you and I miss you when you're not around."

Brandi shook her head, muttering, "You should save those feelings for girlfriends you can actually have a future with."

I shook my head again. "Truth is: I don't have a future with Dayna, but that doesn't mean I'm going to dump her to spend more time with Adrienne and Sasha. Look, I get it: society won't accept me having a physically-intimate relationship with you, so we've got to be a little more circumspect about our level of intimacy in public than we'd have to be in private. But otherwise, there's really no reason why I can't treat you and Dayna the same: as girlfriends, if that's what you want."

Brandi gave me a funny look. Eyebrows furrowed, she began, "I'm not sure--"

Just then, a high-pitched squeal of joy lit up the night air. Both of us turned to see a young woman standing not far from us, apparently looking out at the view. But on closer inspection, I noticed that she wasn't staring out, but rather staring down at the man on one knee before her, jewelry box in hand.

Brandi abruptly stood up, folded her arms across her chest, and started walking away. Surprised, it took me a second to get up and hurry after her. And I had almost caught up to her when the young woman cried out from twenty feet behind me, "Yes! Yes! A hundred times, yes!"

But my focus was on my sister. "Brandi ... hey..."

Arms tightly folded, she didn't look back at me but shook her head. "I can't do this, Ben."

"Can't do what?"

Almost beneath her breath, she muttered, "Using my little brother for sex is one thing, but I'm not going to delude myself into thinking of you as a boyfriend." And with that, she stood up, folded her arms across her chest, and started walking back toward the car.

"Hey, where are you going?" I called as I got up and followed after her.

"It's time we went home," she said in a hurt voice.

"Brandi, c'mon."

"And maybe it's time we faced reality about where this relationship is going: nowhere."

"Brandi..."

"I'm serious." Stopping in her tracks, Brandi sighed and stared up at the stars for a moment. "I can't do this anymore."

"Do what?"

Biting her lip and shaking her head, she turned to look at me through tear-stained eyes. "I wanted to enjoy tonight, and for a little while I really did. It was nice going out to dinner with you. It was nice being out on the town with a guy, feeling the eyes of other men on me wishing they could be in your shoes, feeling the eyes of other girls on you wishing they could be in my shoes. It was nice to have a quiet conversation, to flirt just a little, and to simply be ... well ... out on a 'date' for the first time in forever."

"But..." I led her.

"But..." She exhaled slowly before continuing, "All of this just reminds me of what I'm still missing. I can't give in to the urge to lean across the restaurant table and kiss you. I can't walk down the street with my arm wrapped around your waist and with your hand stuck in my back pocket so you can palm my ass. I'm out here on a 'date', and yet I'm not REALLY out on a date! And even that proposal back there..."

Brandi's voice trailed off as she glanced back behind us up the hill. Shaking her head, she turned to face forward and started walking again.

"Hey..." I hurried to keep up with her.

My sister sighed again as I came alongside her. "Everything we've done tonight just reminds me of what I'm missing, and reminds me that as great as the sex is between us ... I still don't have a REAL boyfriend."

"You have me. You'll ALWAYS have me."

"I know. And I love knowing that you'll always be there for me. But I can't do this anymore."

"Do what?"

"Keep pretending that you're my boyfriend. You're not. And even if we let ourselves believe you were, just for a little while, that part has to stop."

"What, are you breaking up with me or something?"

She stopped in her tracks again, turned to face me with a pained expression, and shrugged helplessly. "I'm sorry. I wanted to be like Dayna. I wanted to enjoy it while it lasted for as long as it lasted. But I can't anymore."

"Wait, are you really breaking up with me?" I took a step toward her with both arms open.

Shaking her head, Brandi cried a little more and took a step back, holding her hand up between us. "How can I break up with you if we were never actually together?"

"You know what I mean."

"I can't keep sleeping with you, Ben. C'mon, this isn't the first time I've decided we should take a break from the physical intimacy part of our relationship."

I raised my hands. "I'm not complaining about whether or not I get to bang you anymore. I'm talking about the emotional intimacy we've formed. I don't want to lose it."

My sister shook her head. "The emotional intimacy and physical intimacy go hand in hand."

"I agree. Our physical intimacy brings us closer together, but now you want to stop? I thought we settled this when I talked to you about me and the twins. What happened to all that stuff about not letting your head get in the way anymore? About not feeling guilty for wanting to fuck my brains out? About not letting some societal 'they' get to decide the way you really feel about me?"

"It's NOT about that. I don't feel guilty. And I'm not letting society dictate how I'm going to live my life."

"Except for the part where you're letting society dictate that you can't lean across the restaurant table and kiss me or walk down the street with my hand on your ass."

"In public, yes, I'm letting society dictate. You know we can't do that."

I sighed. "In public, I get it. But why can't we keep doing what we're doing in private? I love you Brandi, and I know you love me too. Stay with me, please?"

Brandi sighed, thought it over, and shook her head in the negative. "You're my little brother, and I DO love you. But we can't keep doing this. Not for a little while, at least. Thing is, our issues were never about sex. I love that part of our relationship and I don't feel the slightest bit of guilt about it anymore. But the truth is that I can't keep sleeping with you as a way of procrastinating my actual need to get out there and find a future husband."

"I'm not stopping you from dating or finding yourself another man."

"Except that you are. You worried about ruining the twins for all other men and interfering in their natural pursuit of other boyfriends."

"Actually, I said that I wasn't worried anymore," I corrected. "They've grown up."

Brandi scratched her head and gave me an even more helpless look. "Well then it's just me. You ARE ruining me for all other men and you ARE interfering with my natural pursuit of other boyfriends."

"I never intended--"

"I know you didn't, but that's just how it's turned out. The more you and I fuck behind closed doors, the less incentive I have to get out there and meet someone else. Even more than the sex, the emotional intimacy we share together is what's getting in the way. We HAVE to stop. Not because of guilt, and not because of society, but because I can't have you distracting me anymore."

I sighed and splayed my hands out, palms forward. "If that's what you want."

"It is."

Groaning, I let my head loll back and then took a deep breath, exhaling strongly enough to make my lips vibrate together. "Okay. If that's what you want, I'll respect your wishes."

"We should be happy it lasted this long, right? Maybe your lack of paying me much attention these last couple of months has been a good thing. It's weaned me off you a little bit, so maybe I won't feel so bad quitting you cold turkey."

I rubbed my temples and scowled. "Looks like taking you out on a date was the worst thing I could have done today."

Shaking her head, Brandi replied, "Maybe it was the best thing. I enjoyed myself tonight. We had a very pleasant evening, and I know that if I want I can still go home and have a very pleasant fucking. I love being with you, and I love you, and I love that I'll never have to worry about you breaking my heart. I could probably stay in this quasi-relationship with you indefinitely and never get dumped again. But tonight you made me realize I really DID want to have a truly romantic evening out with someone I'm allowed to make out with in public, and that's just one of the little things you could never, ever give me."

Splaying my hands out again, I gave her a plaintive look and pleaded, "I can try."

Brandi shook her head again. "You're my brother, my little brother, and you'll always BE my little brother. I could never bring myself to ask for your support when I'm feeling down the way I'd ask a real boyfriend. Really, when was the last time I came to you with my problems? I could never sit down and talk about my future with you – speculate where we'll be together five years from now, ten years – or daydream about turning into cute little geriatrics trying to remember to give each other our daily meds. We'll never be able to plan a dream honeymoon together. We'll never be able to spend hours debating what names to give our kids. No matter how hard you try, you can never BE that kind of life-partner I really WANT in my life. I like being your big sister. I love being with you. But you've made me realize what I've been missing from a complete relationship. The truth is, I can't keep spinning my wheels with you and ignoring reality anymore. Tonight was the kick I needed to really ... well ... yeah ... to break up with you."

"Brandi..."

"I'm sorry, Ben. I have to break up with you."

"I love you."

She sighed, shook her head, and replied, "I know. I love you, too. Just take me home."