Pain!

I heard a sound like a bird flapping its wings in a panic. Maybe it was my heart, for all I know. Have you ever seen a wild bird in a cage, looking for a way out? Well, that was how my mind was reacting. I definitely am not ready to do this with her right now.

A look of great bitterness swept across her face as she took in the situation of the room. She turned her blazing grey eyes, which seems to be burning in anger to me.

"Athena! Come with me now!" She turned on her heel, walking down the stairs. Even though I was expecting a lot more than that, I knew that this is far from over. I turned to Aiden, who hasn't said a word, to see him typing away on his phone. It's like he doesn't even care.

Letting out a deep breath, I walked out of the room. My mother is a scary woman when she's angry. Her anger, now though, is like nothing I've ever seen before. Stepping into the kitchen, she is pacing around the room, ready to dig a hole into the ground. The sound of my feet must have alerted her because she raised her head to look at me.

"Mom, I can explain. It's not what you think." I tried to say, but she shot me a glare that was enough to send me spiraling.

"So you bring guys home now?" She pointed up the stairs, her calm voice sending cold chills down my spine. Though I know, she was far from calm. "We looked for you for hours, thinking you were in some kind of trouble. So that's what you've been doing? Sleep around with boys?"

Her words stung. More than they should have. Maybe because she was my mother, and I expected her to at least have some faith in me, even just a little.

"No, Ma! You know I would never do something like that." I choked out, fighting desperately to keep my tears at bay. She scoffed in disbelief as she ran her hands through her curly dark brown hair. Her grey eyes found mine as she looked at me in disgust.

"Do I? Because I sure as hell don't know the person standing in front of me right now." She's trying not to raise her voice, but I can still hear the bitterness and the hatred in it. Hatred! That's a strong word, but I can tell from her face and her voice.

"Ma! It wasn't like that. I wanted to help take care of his wounds. He got into a fight, and..."

"Exactly!" She yelled out this time, throwing her arms helplessly in the air. "Of all the guys you would even think to associate yourself with, you had to choose an ex-convict. How stupid are you, Athena! Or didn't you know he went to jail?"

I should say something, anything at all, to defend myself and tell her that it's not what she thinks it is. But I couldn't get the words out of my mouth. It's not like she would change her mind anyway. She's only convinced by what she wants to believe.

She slammed her hands on the table, making me jump. I dug my nails into my palm, drawing blood from its skin as I bit down on my lower lip to fight back my tears.

"You irritate me, Athena! I can't believe I have a promiscuous daughter. After everything I've done for you, this is how you repay me! Look at me." She yelled, the vein on her neck throbbing in anger. I slowly raised my head to look at her as much as my blurry vision would let me. "I should have left you behind with that worthless man you call your father! Maybe you would have died with him in that crash. I am better off without the both of you anyway."

I stared at her in disbelief as a cold shiver suddenly ran up my spine. A sickly smile appeared on her face. I know she is only saying that to hurt me, and I'm supposed to resist the satisfaction of letting her words get to me. But this is too much.

"Mom! You don't mean that." I croaked out, wanting her to take it all back.

"I'll be better off if you were dead. I don't need a daughter that prefers sleeping around instead of appreciating me as a mother. You are nothing but a disgrace." She spat angrily before walking out of the kitchen. Everything is just a blur. Everything is cold, hopeless, and lifeless. I stared at the spot she was standing some seconds ago, trying to see if it was all in my head.

But it was real. It happened. The woman that gave birth to me wanted me dead.

I had to force my body to bring air into my lungs as I forced my feet to take a step, and then another, and then another. I'm sure I look like a zombie, slowly making my way towards my room. I sat on the edge of my bed with a plop. I'm not sure if I'm still crying. Everything just felt numb. My brain, my body, my heart. My soul.

I looked around the room lazily as I let out a scoff that sounded more like a sob. My eyes caught the guitar pick my father handed me the day we left him. A sudden sense of bitterness took over me as I threw the only belonging that my father gave me to the floor in anger. I started stomping on it as my vision became blurry.

"It's all your fault! You left me! You left me here to suffer. You said we'll always be together, but you left me to live with her. I hate you! I hate all of you!"

"Athena!" I felt someone pull me into his arms and cradled me to his chest. A sorrowful sob broke out of my mouth before the cries followed. My tears were coming in waves now as I heard her voice replaying in my head. "What did I do wrong? Why is it s-so hard for her to love me?"

"You didn't do anything wrong, Sweetheart! I'm so sorry." My cries were loud and filled with sadness. I pressed my nose into his shirt, inhaling his comforting scent as I shook in his arms. "I'm so sorry! It's all my fault."

"Where is she?" I heard someone yell from the hall. The door burst open, my body too heavy to react. "Oh God, Angel. Look at you." Levi rasped out, a hint of deep hurt lacing his tone as he took me from Aiden's hands.

"Levi! Please, m- make it s- stop. It hurts." I said between my sobs as I clenched tightly to my chest, hoping to ease the unbearable pain raking through my body.

"I know. I'm sorry I wasn't there. I'm so sorry, baby." I could feel myself getting tired. "Fuck!"

I heard Levi curse under his breath before I let myself fall into unconsciousness.

**_**_**

Everything is black. My chest feels like there is a heavy boulder sitting on top of it. When I finally blinked my eyes open, my head feel like it is splitting in half, and even my eyes were aching.

"I told you that you shouldn't let her stress herself." I heard a deep man's voice reprimand. I tried turning my head in their direction, but I feel stuck.

"I know, doctor. I wasn't home when it happened." I could recognize the distaste in Levi's voice, almost like he hated it the more he thought about it. The other man let out a sigh.

"She'll be fine, but I can't say the same about her mental health, though. You'll have to watch her very closely. Her migraines will be worse now, and she might go through extreme depression. I'll know better when she wakes up."

"Levi!" I croaked out, my voice barely above a whisper. He was by my side within seconds, clenching tightly to my hand.

"Baby, you're awake!" I heard him cry. He had deep bags under his eyes, and his hair is a greasy mess. His clothes are wrinkled, and he looked like he had been crying. I reached up to touch his face and realized my hand is restrained by various tubes. Looking down, I noticed that I wasn't on my bed at home, but rather the hospital. Again.

"W- what's going on?" I asked, my heart beginning to race as I remember the conversation I heard while waking up.

"Aiden and I brought you to the hospital yesterday. Oh, Athena, you scared me to death. I thought I lost you too." He exclaimed with tears in his eyes.

"I- I'm sorry." I hiccuped before more tears flowed down my cheeks for the umpteenth time. He pulled me into his embrace as he gently stroked my hair.

"Sheesh! I should be the one saying sorry. I should have been there for you." Someone cleared his throat, making me look up. I saw the doctor that attended to me the last time I was here. He passed me a sad smile.

"How are you feeling?" I cleared my throat.

"My head and chest feel heavy." He nodded before looking me in the eye.

"Your migraines are back and worse. You must've been through something emotionally draining." I didn't say anything. He let out a breath before speaking again. "I know you've been through so much, but you have to open up to feel better. I could recommend therapy for you."

"No daughter of mine is going to therapy."