11. Intoxication

James went home in his car. Stare at the skies on the way back home. He keeps thinking about the stories that Emilia told. Now he knows that not every feeling and expression is telling the truth. They're lying in their way.

This is the first time for James to understand the feelings. Not just his feelings but other people too. No one can guess the meaning of a smile. All these times he never thought about something like this. 'Why everything feels so complicated right now?'

James got home, now his apartment back to how it should be. Quiet and messy just like usual. James takes off his jacket and takes a beer from the fridge. Sits near the kitchen, and opens his laptop. Trying to write something, he hasn't written anything for a while.

Still, there's nothing images or pictures in his mind. Usually, there'll some images, it appears just like a movie in his head. There so many action story that he had writes. Now everything's gone, James didn't have a single clue where they are. His magical and brilliant ideas had flies leaving his head.

Stared at the ceiling, hoping the answer is still there. He remembered what Ed said, 'why you didn't write another story'. He thought about it for a second, nothing left in his mind. James's look at the blank screen, keep digging in his mind. Just one word that appears, that word represents his feelings right now. "Hollow".

Almost 30 minutes he sits and trying to write another story. At least he tried to write what he feels right now. He feels empty, he didn't sad nor happy. He's don't trust everybody anymore, especially of their appearance. He won't trust feelings anymore, 'Why I have to understand everybody's feelings when it can change every time'.

He left his laptop open and lay down on his couch, take a deep breath while keep thinking about his future career. Nothing in his mind, everything feels so cold right now. He wants to smiles but there's nothing happy or funny around. He wants to cry but his tears feel like stopped and refuses to go out.

James's get another beer, right now he brings more than 5 cans of beer. Drink all of it, just to make sure he can get drunk and get out from this world just a second. He wants to figure it out with intoxication. He feels pain but he doesn't bleed. His heart feels ache, likes there's a thousand needle pierced his heart.

Just a half-hour he got drunk, and finally, his tears can come out and his smiles can appear. Such a hopeless man. James doesn't even know what he's feeling right now. He just got drunk and goes crazy in his apartment. The pain that he felt is gone, he feels good for a moment. He does not feel right now.

He looked at the table, there's a card. Diana's card, he called her and tells to have an interview right now in his apartment. He goes wild and almost can't control it.

#

Diana comes to James's apartment, she wondered why James wants to have an interview. They were done it a couple of days ago. She knocks on the door and there's no answer. Knock it again and still the same.

'Has he tricked me? He wants me to go to his place but there's no answer.' Diana gets more confuses. She knows that James is an interesting person but she doesn't know that he's nosy. Diana gets more impatient. She's tried to open the door. There's no answer but the door is unlocked.

"Hello is anybody here?" She shouted out.

The whole place is dark and quiet. It's around 4 p.m. and the lamp isn't turn on yet. She sees a silhouette on the couch.

"James. Is that you?" she keeps yelling his name.

Diana looked around and tried to get the switch. She can smell alcohol right here. She found the switch behind the door, trying to light it and then everything clear. James lay down on the couch with his head in the bottom.

He's drunk at this moment. Diana knows it and tried to reach him. Shake his body but there's no answer. He's very drunks, she doesn't know what to do. She brought James' body to the bathroom and put his head in front of the toilet. Grab a shower and spray it on him.

After minutes, James throws up and he sober. James shook his head and feels a little bit dizzy. He didn't know what happened and why he got up in the bathroom.

"Better?"

James heard some voice, and it sounds familiar. Turn around and Diana there's holding her shower ready to spray it.

"Why are you here? Why am I here? And what happened here?" James asked her.

"Can you at least say thank you," Diana sighed with relief, "You called me here, and when I arrived you were drunk and I didn't know what to do, so I just give you some water from here."

James shock, he didn't remember all of those. "What? Am I called you? Why?"

"I didn't know either. You said you want some interviews, but you didn't say it well on the phone."

Diana looked at him. James is still confused and she knows it. "Go take a shower, I'll wait, and then you can tell me what happened."

James took a shower and clean up his body. Diana waits and looks around in the apartment. Just like as she expected, the boys' apartment always messy. She looked at the laptop near the kitchen, and it just one word on the whole page. "Hollow", she's wonder what's that mean.

"So you drunk and didn't know what happened next?" Diana tried to understand the situation.

"I just want to get drunk and forget every problem around here."

"You know that's not the best way to do it right? It bad for your body and makes you forget your obligation. You in the middle of something right?"

James looked at her, frowning. "How do you know?"

"I saw your laptop, and you make a new story right? Hollow? Is that the title?"

James doesn't know how to answer that question. He doesn't sure if this a story or anything. It's his expression of what he feels right now. If he answered her question, he'll drop his reputation. Now he doesn't know the right move. He doesn't know how to answer, with his heart, or with his pride.