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It took us over a week to cover over 1300 km, most of the route was covered by ship, and only the last stage on foot ... In my first life my friends in Norway always made fun of Swedes. They always said... "What do Swedes have that we Norwegians don't have? Good neighbors." Perhaps it was the fault of later centuries because at the present time, they were quite friendly and did not look like monkeys paired with a turtle. (What will happen if we pair a monkey with a turtle? A Swede in a helmet.)

Of course, I knew that these were only such neighborly niggles ... and I was not going to be prejudiced against them, especially as I was going to conquer them in a few years.

After reaching the place, we sent the slaves and animals to the priests, and then set up a camp near the temple ... in the evening we were all sitting around the fire and wasting time on insignificant conversations.

- I have always wondered why during raids you never find a woman or any slave girl, but you live like a Christian monk? (One-Eyed Arne)

- I have Lagertha and Hild at home ... so I can't complain ... I really can't complain. (Ulf)

-Are you afraid of Lagertha? (One-Eyed Arne)

- It's not fear, self-preservation instinct, but better tell me if any woman caught your eye? (Ulf)

- Helga is interesting ... (One-Eyed Arne)

I looked at Torstein, Floki wasn't with us ... yeah, I have to put a lock on the workshop.

- Helga... many woodpeckers fly into this hollow. (Ulf)

- When you chose Hild, she wasn't a virgin either ... (Torstein)

- I chose her because I have a good heart and I just took pity on her ... but despite the lack of a finger, she has skilled hands. (Ulf)

- I'd like to know ... what will happen next? (Athelstan)

- We'll eat and get drunk, priest. (One-Eyed Arne)

- But I meant ceremonies, sacrifices ... (Athelstan)

- The sacrifice will take several days. Animals will be sacrificed for the first days, slaves or volunteers on the last day. They will be placed on the table and then the priest will cut their throats. The blood will be collected in the bowls and their bodies hanged upside down ... nothing special, but that's our tradition. That's what you wanted to know, monk? (Ulf)

- But what is the purpose of it? (Athelstan)

- We want the Gods to favor us, so we offer them sacrifices ... I read your holy book, Cain and Abel also offered sacrifices to your God. We have different methods but the goal is the same. If you want to meet our Gods, the priests will give you dried mushrooms ... try it. (Ulf)

After these mushrooms you can not only meet the Gods, but also see epic things like "A Viking with a Kalashnikov in his hand, riding a unicorn that shits a rainbow."

All kinds of ceremonies took place over the next few days, I personally thought it was a waste of time, but it is only a few days, and the next such event will take place in nine years.

- Near our camp... there's some excellent fishing upstream, under the waterfall ... I'm going to check it out. (One-Eyed Arne)

- Torstein go with One-Eye, everyone knows three eyes are better than one. (Ulf)

A few hours later, One-Eye and Torstein returned to our camp ... without fish and beaten. It turned out that they were caught watching a woman in the bath and her guards beat them, the only thing that saved their lives was my name.

It was reminiscent of what happened on the show where these two geniuses watched Aslaug in the bath. If it's really her, then I have to match her with Ragnar, and the sons of Ragnar will be born ... Bjorn, Ivar, Ubbe, Sigurd, Halfdan, Hvitserk and Fridleiv. There were also daughters ... Ragnhild and Alof.

- Repeat it again ... You two looked at her, but I'm supposed to apologize to her? (Ulf)

- Yeah ... What were we supposed to do? (Torstein)

- I don't know ... maybe catch fish? (Ulf)

- You haven't seen her ... (One-Eyed Arne)

- Do you know who she is? (Ulf)

- No, she didn't reveal her name. (Torstein)

- If she wants an apology, she has to come to our camp. You will come back to her and tell her that ... She must come, neither clothed nor unclothed, neither full nor hungry, and not alone but without anyone accompanying her. Do you remember the message? (Ulf)

It turned out that my suspicions were justified, the next day Aslaug showed up in our camp ... and just like in the series, she was wearing a fishing net, eating an apple and was accompanied by a dog ... But why this fishing net ... fuck. .. I can't see anything. Of course, I was still going to match her with Ragnar, but I'd like to enjoy my eyes a little.

- King Ulf, I come as you wished ... neither clothed nor unclothed, neither full nor hungry, and not alone but without anyone accompanying me. (Aslaug)

- I suppose I owe you an apology for the actions that I did not do ... Any other day I would be angry, but that I'm in a good mood today ... I'm sorry. (Ulf)

- I accept your apology. (Aslaug)

- May I ask what your name is? (Ulf)

- My name is Aslaug Sigurdsdottir, I am the daughter of Sigurd "Dragon Slayer" and Shield maiden Brynhildr. (Aslaug)

- Nice to meet you Princess, I am Ulf Erikson, the first king of all Norway ... Son of a blacksmith and a slave... (Ulf)

With her behavior, manner of speech, gestures, it was obvious that she was trying to seduce me ... I live too long to be caught by such tricks.

-... Princess, come to our camp ... Raganr, take care of our guest. I have to do something. (Ulf)

- But what should I do? (Ragnar)

- Offer the Princess something to eat ... smoked fish or something. (Ulf)