SHY LOVE, MY SISTER EMILY

I wasn't quite sure what I was looking for exactly. Perhaps it was simply my inborn yearning to discover secrets that led me to snoop through my sister's hard drive. There was no specific conscious idea of what I might find, however she was the only one to use it and I have to say I was curious just what she did with all the time she spent on that laptop. One thing I know is that she used it as a journal, ever since she moved on from writing in notebooks by hand several years earlier.

I was expecting to find a few porn links in her internet history, and anyone with ethics loose enough to snoop through a close relative's private things is certainly prepared to find such stuff, and to be honest, the links I did find were fairly tame. Otherwise it was just the expected things: pictures of distant family members, youtube videos of kittens and puppies, lots of school work, etc. No long guarded secrets or violent snuff films, or whatever other surprising thing I for some reason felt I might find. And that is the real reason why so few continue with such snooping, because of the simple fact that it is boring.

Due to both of us being shy, it might seem to outsiders that we have a cold relationship, however I always felt from the looks we shared that this wasn't the case, and our aloofness toward each other is simply comfortable for our personality types. Although, because of that distance, and despite still living in the same house as I turn twenty-one, and she eighteen, I still feel as if I know so little about her.

Before I gave up my snooping I decided I would skim through her journal. It was written entirely into one document, simply titled "Journal," which had a cute 'do not read!' note at the beginning. Mostly it seemed to be comments on classes, her emotions, and how she felt about whatever books she was reading at the time. She was in her last year of high school, and I was somewhat saddened to find that she did not have even very many acquaintances there with whom she shared conversations. It seemed she more or less lived in her own little world, and wasn't too happy about never having been intimate with anyone. This was somewhat hard for me to believe, as she was very cute, and even I as her brother couldn't deny the fact. She was a bit shyer than myself, however I had always thought this to be not nearly the obstacle for girls in finding a mate as it was for boys. However she seemed to be experiencing just as much frustration and loneliness as I had and high school (and continue to).

Once halfway through the document it seemed she decided to start including pictures with a number of the entries. The first of these started several months back. The pictures were mostly of scenery and random objects from around the house, but a few were pictures of herself, sometimes smiling, her pretty dimples spread to the side of her face, sometimes sad with her long blonde hair covering all her fair features. I kept scrolling down and was suddenly shocked by the next picture I saw.

She was topless, snapping a photo of herself in the bathroom mirror. This was the first time I had ever seen her small breasts bare, and though I immediately felt a rush of panic, I could not look away. The entry corresponding with the picture was her saddened by the fact that her breasts seemed as if they would never grow, but I wanted so much right then to tell her that they were perfect they way they were, and absolutely beautiful. So beautiful in fact that I couldn't tear myself away despite how wrong I knew it was.

I began to feel a stirring in my pants and I knew I had to stop, knew I had to turn the computer off. "She's your sister, man! Don't be a pervert!" I silently scolded myself.

I looked at the clock and realized she would be home in less than ten minutes. If not for that I certainly wouldn't have been able to stop scrolling down in a desperate hope for more, but to be caught in such a shameful act was unthinkable. However, when I went to shut down the laptop, I was drawn back to that photo of her soft pale skin, her lithe thin figure, and those pretty little breasts. I couldn't seem to entirely say goodbye to that lovely picture.

I quickly ran to my room and grabbed my zip drive. I returned back to her computer and saved the diary onto my USB stick as fast as possible and carefully shut down the computer leaving no trace of my unwholesome presence. In that moment I felt like a foul monster, and everything I touched was somehow contaminated. What was I thinking? Surely I was just lonely. How could I be attracted to my own sister? Was that what I was subconsciously hoping to find when I went through her files? What dark place in my primate unconscious brought me here, to seek out such decadent sights? Somehow though, I could not quite convince myself that loving the sight of thatangelin her true skin could somehow be wrong.

Though the sense of urgency was growing near the end, it wasn't entirely necessary as she did not return home from school until around fifteen minutes later.

"Hi," she said to me cheerfully when she walked in.

I was getting a snack in the kitchen at the time, what I usually did when she got back from school, so that I might see her before she moved on to the isolation of her room. On weekdays I usually got back from my college classes a few hours before she got back from high school, and so there was a kind of strange schedule between us when we'd see each other as we came and went, or when going to get meals. Otherwise we were both bookish and tended to keep to ourselves.

"Hey Sis. How was school?"

She shrugged. My nervous eyes, which would've normally avoided eye contact after the initial greeting, lingered a bit by no control of my own. Not to any place on her body that I should be ashamed of, but just looking at her face. Though she wore no makeup, still there was no defect to be seen. Not a pimple or freckle discolored her milky white skin. She rarely kept eye contact either, however she must've felt my gaze and for a moment our eyes met. I quickly looked away.

"Yeah, nothing very interesting happened during my classes either," I said, breaking the silence.

She was blushing. I quickly grabbed a snack from the cupboard and retreated to my room. Why was she blushing? Was I being awkward? Anxious thoughts raced through my head and I tried to think of something I could do in the next hour or two to prove that I was just a normal brother and not some fiendish weirdo. I sat in my room for over a half hour practically pulling my hair out, cursing myself for being such a creep. I thought then that the only way that I might not just make it worse was when I went for dinner; I would just act as normal as possible. But then if I intentionally acted normal, something would certainly seem off, and then not just to her but to our parents as well!

My anxiety was getting the better of me. And it was as these thoughts assailed me that I heard a soft knocking at the door.

Immediately I regained my coldness and composure. Everyone has instinctual masks for social interaction, with the most social having the greatest number of masks to fit various moments. As I was about as far from 'social' as one could get, my masks were few, and my most used and comfortable was that of cold professional aloofness.

"Yes? Come in." I said calmly.

It was Emily, my sister. She had a book in her hand.

"I borrowed this, I hope you don't mind," she murmured. "I'm done with it now though."

"Oh, yeah, that's fine. You can borrow any of my books whenever you want, as long as I'm not in the middle of reading them."

"I really liked it," she said hurriedly as she handed the book to me. I looked at the cover to see which one it was. Out of all my books I'd like for her to have read, she had borrowed the one that was most well hidden, behind a solid stack of respectable literature, a pretty hot and heavy erotica. The surge of adrenaline I felt when I saw that picture an hour prior came back tenfold. With a thousand questions on the tip of my tongue, I looked up with shock on my face, but she was already gone.

********

Needless to say, that night I transferred the journal from my zip-drive to my own computer and continued reading.

Dear diary,

Today wasn't so good. Every time I'm around people I seem to lose all composure. A boy said something to me in the lunchroom that set me so on edge that I actually dropped my tray. It wasn't even anything important, it was only "Are you as sick of sloppy-joes as I am?" but for a moment I thought he might be attracted to me. I know now that's not the case, and I hate when my stupid brain gives me false hope. I don't even want to think about it. Even if he did like me, he certainly wouldn't after that embarrassing incident. I don't ever want to see him again.

If a guy did ever like me, once he got to know me he'd just think I'm sick. I've never even kissed a boy and yet I can be so gross sometimes. I know I shouldn't be writing this... last night, when I was touching myself, I actually put my finger in my butt! (omg!!!) My fingers were already really wet from my pussy, so I just wiped the juice all over the hole for a while, which felt really good and naughty. That was all I planned to do, but I got so caught up in the moment that I ended up masturbating both holes until I orgasmed. It was really hard to not make any noises. My brother's room is right next door, so if I ever moaned out he might hear. I'm such a disgusting slut. Even as I write this I'm beginning to get wet. I want to masturbate but Anthony will probably even still be up, so he'd definitely hear. Maybe just a little bit...

It was actually getting a bit difficult formeto contain myself at this point. I wondered what Sis would think if she knew I would be masturbating right next to her room as I read howshemasturbates just as close. She think she's sick? If only she knew...

Though I did want to savor these guilty pleasures, I decided to hold off on relieving myself until I read a bit more. I scrolled down further, and happily found that the naughtiness continued.

Dear diary,

I must say, I'm a bit embarrassed, but last night right after I wrote the last entry, I did masturbate until I had an orgasm. I even fingered my butthole again, and would take it out and lick it and stick it back in, back and forth, tasting my ass. Sorry... :) I'm getting carried away again.

I'm only going to be this young once. I couldn't help myself, but last night I set my camera up to take a picture from my desk as I did this. My brother was still awake, and there's been times when he's come to my room at this hour! He could've come in and seen me, fingers and both holes, barely able to stifle my moans. Either way, here's the picture:

Of course, I won't be showing you readers this picture, as I do respect our privacy to some degree.

It was beyond words. This was my sweet quiet little sister? I was beyond feeling guilt or shame, this was the most wonderful thing I'd ever seen. At this point I could go no further and finally did furiously masturbate to this image of her pale little body in ecstasy, and knowing that I was probably breathing in the very fumes of that rapture unknowingly. Maybe my beautiful horny baby sister was masturbating in her room right as I was, both of us thinking of the other. I never knew indulging in such forbidden fantasies could bring about such feelings. I felt like a little kid again, first stumbling onto pornography. I even imagined that I could hear a soft whimpering as I edged over to the wall that we shared. It was one of the best orgasms I can remember. Even afterward I could not think of anything by Emily's shy soft face and her skinny pale body quivering in sexual bliss.

I quickly scrolled down through the rest of the journal, but was saddened to find that there were no more entries that dealt so specifically with her self-pleasure. I knew then that I'd be checking her computer every day that I could for more. I was surprised that there wasn't even any mention of the book she had borrowed from me.

********

The next day I couldn't wait to get home from class. However, when I pulled into the driveway and opened the garage door I noticed that my sister's bike was sitting in the garage. Why was she home so early? I sighed, but resolved to be patient, and be thankful for what I did have. Thankful? Have I already gotten so used to the idea of masturbating to my own flesh-and-blood sister? I shuddered at how quickly I seemed to be falling prey to what a week prior I would've considered the most unacceptable of perversions.

I opened the door and walked into the kitchen. I didn't see Emily anywhere, so assumed she must be in her room. As I began making coffee I suddenly heard her door slam, as if in response to my thoughts. What was that about? I went over to her room and knocked.

"Umm.." I heard her squeak. There was a short pause. "Yes, what is it?" she asked a little too loudly. "Don't come in!"

I think you can all guess how I began to feel about this. I'm ashamed to say that right then I felt an awful primal urge to open the door and reveal to my eyes what must've been a sight from heaven. I resisted however. I was being a terrible brother by having these thoughts and I immediately began to feel like a monster once more. But she had to know the time, right? She had to know I'd be home by now. Maybe my imagination was just in a dirty place, she was probably just distracted. Suddenly I felt this must be the truth and my perverted interpretation of events was just taking over.

"Why weren't you at school today?" I asked in as casual a voice as I could muster.

I heard some rustling, and then the door open. Her fair face was flushed and she was smiling. "Oh, it's just a day off for the teachers. I'm not exactly sure, but that's what it says on the student schedule."

"Okay, I was just curious. I'll let you get back to what you were doing." I said awkwardly, feeling myself begin to blush. I quickly walked away before I saw how she reacted to that.

Later that night I returned to the picture of cute little Emily in the dirtiest of raptures and relieved myself of the terrible tension that had been making our relationship so strange the past few days.

*******************

It wasn't until after the weekend that I was able to get another chance to return to her computer. I opened up the journal and quickly went to where I left off. I started reading.

Dear diary,

It says my journal was last accessed at 2:00 pm on Thursday... weird. I don't get home until from school until 3:00 usually. Would Anthony read my journal? If so, I hope he didn't get very far... Maybe that's why he's been so quiet with me lately. He thinks I'm some kind of disgusting pervert :(. Masturbating right next to his room, while he's awake even... He'll want to move out any day now... The one person apart from mom and dad who I thought doesn't hate me...

I was crushed. She had it all wrong. But if she knew the truth that would be even worse. Then what was she doing on Friday? She was happy, whatever it was, so maybe she hadn't noticed that I'd read it by that point. Then it dawned on me that she would see that I accessed it again today. She would know. I wanted to kill myself right then and there. She would tell our parents and I would be kicked out or sent to jail or who knows what! I was oddly calm though. She would be home too soon for me to try to figure out a way to reverse showing when the document was last accessed. I don't know how I could've been so stupid to not think that would've happened. It would've been easy to just copy the original before reading it. Well, my fate was sealed by this point, so there was no use in worrying about it.

I went to my room and did my best to avoid everyone until it was time for bed. I felt like I'd just been sent to the gallows. Of course, I couldn't fall asleep at all. I lay in bed wondering what fate might await me, and in vain thinking of ways that I might escape it. And still, thoughts of my sister's flushed smiling face meeting mine on Friday afternoon kept floating up in my mind, and from there I couldn't help but think of her little belly button in that picture, and the shy smiles she always has as she looks to the ground, and then I look to ground as well. I'm just as nervous around my baby sister as I am around any other attractive girls. Moreso, because I love her that much more. It might sound horrible and perverse, but it is not simply a rotten carnal fantasy. I love her. She's the only girl that I could ever imagine spending my life with. Just the thought of embracing her pale body and meeting those nervous little lips with my own gave me childlike butterflies.

Then I heard it. A soft cute little whimpering. It was very quiet, but its origin unmistakable. She was masturbating, right next to the wall, and clearly not stifling her noises. I suddenly felt giddy with joy, tremendously aroused, and shaking with confusion all at once. So she must've saw that I came back to the document. She knew and she didn't hate me... in fact she was letting me hear her self-pleasure!

To pass up this moment was unthinkable. I unzipped my pants and pulled out my erect penis and began masturbating slowly along with the innocent little whimpers. She was letting me hear her ecstasy... my sweet baby sister... How horny and lonely she must be...

Just then a thought came to mind. Could I go to her? Our parents were sleeping just upstairs. But those precious little moans seemed to beg for me. I imagined her quaking body, like a nymph that could only be live amongst fawns in a forgotten glade, and yet willing to have this gentle monster enter...

I could not control myself. I quickly put on my clothes and did my best to hide my erection.

I opened my door and walked a few steps down the hall. Knocking lightly on the door to avoid arousing any suspicion from our parents sleeping upstairs, I then heard a slight rustling. I'd never felt so nervous in my life.

"One second," I heard her angelic voice whisper from within.

The door opened slightly and I saw she was wearing a robe. The slight smell was barely imperceptible, but it reached me like a biological atom bomb and I struggled for words.

It was awkwardly silent for a moment as she stared at the ground.

"Can I come in?" I whispered with nervous strain.

She nodded, her emotions indistinguishable.

She sat down on her bed I sat down on the chair by her desk. "I need to admit something... I read your journal."

She looked up at me, her big blue eyes more beautiful than I could ever remember them being. "Yes, I thought I saw... Did you read all of it?"

I nodded. "I umm..." She looked scared and I was shaking like a leaf. The smell however of her so aroused was driving me crazy. "I thought I heard something... so I came in here to see if you were alright."

She stood up and walked over to me. I was so nervous I stood up too.

"Please don't hate me!" She whispered frantically. All I could do was shake my head to say 'no, I could never.' She continued, "I wanted you to hear. Do you think I'm disgusting." A tear streamed down one of her eyes.

I stammered looking for the words. All I could say was "I love you," and we immediately embraced. All bets were off by that point. I had her in my arms and I would never let go. Now that I felt her wonderful little body I noticed she was shaking just as much as I was. I looked into her beautiful blue eyes and was entirely lost. Our mouths and tongues met. "Sis..." My sweet baby sister.

We did our best to be quiet, two hushed shameful virgin lovers with lips locked, blood siblings with a bond greater than any ordinary man and woman.

I undid her robe and saw the bright white skin, so soft and perfect. I ran my hands down her shoulders and thin little waist. She let out a little whine as my hands reached her tiny breasts. "I'm sorry they're so small," she said. I simply shook my head. "No, no, no, they are perfection."

We continued kissing passionately and then laid down into her bed. We were both shaking so much due to nervousness, that the air on our bare flesh made it much worse. To be in bed with my own blood sister... I realized then that our relationship had always been different than any ordinary brother and sister. We were cold and aloof with each other because we both held back a love and lust that burned deeply, and now exploded, not to be contained.

Under the covers of my lovely little sister's bed I began licking her milky skin all over until I finally made my way to her gorgeous little vagina. When my tongue finally reached her sensitive clit she buckled and let out and audible moan. I wanted to be slow and steady but as the scent of her was so close I dived in like a hungry animal. She had only a small bit of hair, but did not seem to have shaved, not that I would have the experience apart from porn to recognize such a thing on any level of certainty.

The taste of her nectar truly was a profound fey wine. As my tongue caressed her perfect young pussy, the juices flowed into my mouth and brought me to another place, and her soft sweet whimpering little voice I still heard like a distant twinkling.

My sweet, sweet, sweet baby sister.

I could hold back no more. I brought my face near to hers and my erect penis closed in on her perfect sex and entered slowly. The sound she made as I penetrated was a small amount of pain mixed with innocent lust. Of course she was a virgin, as was I.

Still, though I knew from what little knowledge I had that I'd pop her cherry and it would hurt, she still desperately mouthed 'fuck me!' over and over. I did so. Oh, my innocent baby sister, I could do nothing else. It was so tight and soft, my lovely little sister's pussy. I could not believe ecstasy this powerful could anything but a dream. Her juices glided over my cock, and her soft stifled and pained moan of pleasure almost killed me with lust. I went back and forth, in and out of my sisters tiny pussy, her pale body now shaking uncontrollably.

Then when I noticed her hand had made its way underneath and was now fondling her butthole, that seemed a whole new pasture of incomprehensible future loveliness and exploration, that is when I could contain it no more. I ejaculated my seed directly into my sister's pussy as she moaned so loudly now that I knew my parents had to hear, but I didn't care (something in me wouldn't mind causing my sister's pregnancy). I was in heaven.

It was over. We then lay down together, finally both contented at the deepest parts of our being, which was almost just as profound as the sex, considering the high-strung nature of both of us. I had no worries. By some stroke of luck our parents hadn't heard, or perhaps they just thought she was masturbating and chose to ignore it.

I lay in the embrace of that angel and slept the most perfect sleep until it was rudely broken by her alarm far too early in the morning. She had to go to school.

She smiled at me as she got up. We didn't say a word to each other however. No words could really do the moment justice. I chose to continue sleeping in her bed with the wonderful smell of her all over the covers until it was then time for me too to go to my classes.

I might as well have just stayed home however, as I could think of nothing else but Emily all day. What would our future hold? How could we make such a forbidden love work? The world wouldn't accept it, but we didn't need the world. We only needed each other. Either way, that's a different story altogether. We crossed one of the greatest of our society's taboos in the name of love and ecstasy, for two people who's loneliness was previously painful beyond measure. This was the blooming of our togetherness and the real beginning of our lives. For the first time it seemed to me that the future was not something to be feared, despite the clear threat of our culture's reaction, such a love overpowered.