OEDIPUS WRECKS

"You trying to burn that machine up, Veronica?"

"Trying!" she said in response.

"I wish I had just 10% of your motivation and dedication."

"Necessity is the mother of..." She caught her breath and said, "Never mind. Wrong cliché. I'm not inventing anything. Just trying to keep everything from falling apart makes better sense."

"Ha! I'm 25 and don't have half your energy." She looked at the 40-year old woman and said, "Or half your body."

Veronica laughed and said, "It wasn't enough to keep my husband interested, but I'm not gonna let that stop me."

The girl wasn't going to say that everyone in their small town knew why he left. After her son went missing—that was the polite term most people used for what was almost certainly a kidnapping—nearly twelve years ago, she'd been inconsolable and nearly impossible to live with. She went into such a deep, dark depression no one, not even her husband, could stand being around her. Everyone also knew he'd started having an affair with a younger woman and yet Veronica seemed shocked when he finally told her he wanted out. So while her now ex-husband was getting laid regularly, Veronica hadn't so much as been touched since her son 'went missing.'

Then, just over two years ago, something happened. Out of nowhere, she decided to stop living her life wallowing in grief and self-pity. She stopped binge eating and started working out. Only she knew how much weight she'd gained over the years, but it had to be close to 100 pounds. She'd worked like the devil to take the weight off and two years later, she looked almost as small as she'd been before that fateful day in the mall in the city when...

They'd been out shopping and seven-year old Zack was playing under the racks of clothes in one of the many stores Veronica had been to that day. She only stepped inside the changing booth for a few seconds. He'd been right there sitting next to it, but when she came out, he was gone. She didn't panic at first. She thought he'd just decided not to sit where she told him to and run back under rack of dresses. But when she bent down and couldn't see him she began to worry. When she called his name and he didn't answer, he got scared. When she screamed and he didn't come, that's when she'd panicked.

Mall security checked every video camera in the entire shopping center looking for any sign of the seven-year old boy with dark hair wearing a blue jacket and tennis shoes. Law enforcement showed up with 30 minutes and two detectives were assigned to the case. It was as though Zack Marshall had just vanished off the face of the earth.

After three months, the police told her they could no longer continue to search for her son. She lost it when the lead detective explained the reality of the situation from their point of view. Veronica was having none of it. Like any mother, she didn't care about time or money or the taxpayers or anything but getting her son back. The detective apologized profusely, but the decision was final and that's when Veronica went dark.

She and her husband knew that pretty much everyone assumed the worst—him included. Based on most abductions of this kind, the worst was the norm as the abductor typically got rid of the child after doing whatever sick, perverse thing he'd taken him or her for in the first place. But Veronica still hadn't given up hope. Even at the seven-year mark, when someone can legally be declared, she still clung to the idea he was out there—somewhere—and alive. Even so, she fell deeper into depression and despair until The Great Awakening.

She picked up the pace and pushed herself brutally hard for the last two minutes before calling it quits.

"I'm tired just watching you, Veronica," the girl said as she got off, dripping with perspiration.

Veronica laughed and grabbed her towel using it to dry her face. She walked over to the scale, set the towel down, and watched the arrow spin. "Yes!" she called out. She turned to the young girl behind the desk and said, "I did it! I'm back to where I was before I let food rule my life!" The scale said '120' which was pretty amazing for any woman her age, but even more so for someone who'd let herself go that far.

After her shower, she took a critical look at herself in the mirror as no one else was there. She lowered her towel and turned sideways. She was very happy with what she saw. Her tummy was flat again and that hideous cellulite in her legs—the cottage cheese—was gone. He butt was tight and her boobs looked pretty damn good. She'd always had a great smile and nearly every guy in town had had a thing for her at some point before the binging started.

As she gave herself a final once-over, she thought it just might be time to consider dating again. As she thought back on how long it began, all she could do was shake her head in disbelief.

After another very productive day, she fell asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow. Veronica struggled to open her eyes as she heard the doorbell ring. She threw off the covers, grabbed her robe, then went to answer it. She opened it and saw two men in dark suits standing on her porch. "Mrs. Marshall? My name is Special Agent Franklin and this is Special Agent Carroll with the FBI missing-persons task force. May we please come in?"

As she showed them to the living room, she thought to herself, "Oh, my God. They've found him. After all this time..." She steeled herself and told herself that no matter how bad this news was, she would never again fall back into the hell she'd pulled herself out of some 25 months ago.

"Please have a seat," she said trying to remain calm. "May I get you something? Some tea perhaps?"

"No thank you," Agent Franklin said. "Mrs. Marshall, we received a phone call this morning from FBI Headquarters in Washington DC. Our director there received a personal call from the Commissioner of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police in Canada. I don't know how to better prepare you for his, but it's about your son, Zachary."

She gasped at the mention of his name and put her hand over her chest preparing to hear the words she'd been dreading for so many years. "Yes?" she said, her voice trembling with fear.

"He's been found—alive."

She sat there and just stared for a moment then said, "What? Did you say...alive? My Zack is...alive?"

"Yes, ma'am. He's in Canada in a small town called Dawson in the Yukon Province near Alaska. He's being examined by the town's only doctor before being flown to Seattle as soon as possible, depending on his condition, of course."

"My God," she said quietly. "All those years I never gave up hope. Not until two years ago when I couldn't stand wallowing in the pain any longer. That's when I made peace with losing him. And now you're here telling me he's alive." She looked up at them and said, "I want to see him. I want to go there...now." It wasn't that she didn't believe them. She didn't even consider this was some kind of horribly cruel joke. She just needed to see him with her own eyes. She needed to hold him. No matter how bad he was, no matter what had happened to him, no matter how much he'd suffered or...she shuddered as she thought about it...how much he'd been abused, she'd care for him and and do anything she had to nurture and rehabilitate her only child.

"I don't have details, but we do know he can't be moved for several more days. We understand it isn't life threatening, but he's severely dehydrated after spending days in the wilderness with no food and very little water." She started to interrupt and he asked her to let him finish. "We're also not 100% certain, but based on the few words your son has shared with RCMP, we believe the person Canadian authorities now think kidnapped him recently died making it possible for Zachary to escape. And ma'am? We believe his kidnapper to have been a woman."

Veronica was so beside herself the potential significance of that remark didn't register."I want to see him!" she said again. "I don't care how much it costs. I want to see my son!"

"We thought that would be the case and we've been authorized to transport you as far Vancouver, British Columbia, where you can wait."

"No! I want to go to Dawson or wherever you said his is."

"We can't stop you from traveling, ma'am, but we can only take you as far as Vancouver. Anything beyond that will be at your expense and at your own risk. I would strongly advise you to be patient for a few more days. Please."

"Patient? I've waited for TWELVE YEARS to see my son, Agent Franklin. Please don't try and tell me to wait even more day."

Veronica literally ran upstairs and packed two suitcases with clothes, shoes, makeup, toiletries, and whatever she could think of. Once she had them both ready, she ran to Zack's room and grabbed a Transformer that had been his favorite toy when he lived at home and dropped it in her purse.

She locked her home and called her former husband who was in a state of shock. "Do you want me to go with you, Ronnie?" he asked her.

"No. You don't need to do that. I'll go alone and bring him back. I'll call you anytime I have new information." She paused and said, "Our son is coming home."

Her husband wasn't about to tell her he wouldn't be the little boy she remembered. He was now eighteen and God only knew what he'd been through. The fact that he was alive was a sort of miracle in and of itself. For him to be anything but deeply emotionally and mentally scarred seemed impossible to even consider. But Veronica had born the brunt of this all those years even after he couldn't take it any longer. This was her day and he wasn't going to say anything to put a damper on it.

"Okay, Ronnie. Sounds good. And...send him my love too, okay?" was all he said as they hung up.

After a seven-hour flight to the West Coast, Veronica and Agent Franklin arrived in Vancouver, BC, where he checked them into a very nice four-star hotel near the FBI's liaison office in the city. Veronica was utterly exhausted both physically and emotionally and managed to fall asleep for several hours before waking up in a cold sweat. It was 4am and even though she was still tired, she needed exercise. She jumped on a stationary bike in the hotel's exercise room and pushed herself for an hour until the endorphins finally did their thing, clearing her head and allowing her to think more clearly.

She met Agent Franklin in the small cafeteria downstairs for a cup of coffee and a bagel as he explained what more he'd learned in a brief phone call that morning.

"Zach is going to make a full recovery physically. He's still too weak to travel, but the doctor in Dawson thinks he'll be well enough to fly down here with two or three days. I strongly recommend..."

She stopped him and said, "I'm taking a charter flight to Dawson this morning, Agent Franklin. I've already made reservations. If you can't take me to the airport, I understand. I'll take a taxi. But one way or the other, I'm going to see my son today."

"I understand," he told her. "I have permission to take you to the airport and our local liaison will pick you up when you and Zack return. Again, I'm strongly advising you to wait here, but this is of course, your call."

"You may tell your superiors I've been so duly advised. And you have my thanks for bringing me up here to Vancouver, but if you have children..."

"I do. A boy and a girl," he told her. "And I'd be doing the very same thing."

He dropped her off at the airport and watched her take off in the single-engine Cessna before phoning the liaison office in Vancouver and heading to Seattle and then back home.

"You ever been up north before, lady?" the pilot with the scruffy white beard asked through the headsets.

"No, this is my first time," she told him wanting to say that Vancouver was as far north as she'd ever been or cared to be. Within minutes they were outside of the city and there was nothing but deep-green wilderness as far as the eye could see in any direction. They passed over a very small town and Veronica saw a couple of rivers or creeks below them, but otherwise there was no sign of civilization until the tiny town of Dawson appeared and the small plane began its descent.

"Do you have anyone meeting you?" he asked.

"Yes, someone from the police department is supposed to be there," she yelled over the engine noise.

"You're not in some kinda trouble are you? You seem too pretty to be a...petty criminal. Get it? Pretty/petty?"

She laughed not so much at his attempt at humor as from the missing front tooth she saw when he smiled. "No, I'm not going to jail. I'm going to see my son."

"Oh, okay. Is he a logger or something?" the man asked as he lined up on final approach to the tiny little strip of pavement next to a very small airport building.

"It's the 'or something' part," she said not wanting to discuss it.

He helped her with her bags and carried them to the waiting Dawson Police Department vehicle where a uniformed officer was waiting. "I'll take those, Hank," the officer said.

"Hey, Ricky. How's your dad doing?" the pilot asked.

"Better. Thanks for asking. How's Carla?"

"The old ball and chain is the same, you know."

The shook hands and the old man went inside to use the restroom before refueling and heading back south.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Marshall," he told her as they headed out.

"Please call me Veronica," she said.

"I can't imagine what you're feeling right now."

"I can't possibly explain it, officer. It's all still so surreal, you know?"

It was only a four-minute drive to the small town clinic. "Well, this it. I'll take you inside and introduce you to Doc Taylor. Here's my number. Whenever you're ready to go, I'll come back and take you to the motel."

"You don't have to do that," she said thanking him.

"It's not like a whole lot happens here in Dawson." He stopped and realized how big a deal Zack's return was to Veronica and said, "Other that this, of course. I'm real happy for you, by the way."

He escorted her inside and introduced him first to Linda, the woman who ran the office, who went in the back and grabbed the doctor.

An older man of at least 65 came out and said, "Mrs. Marshall. I'm Doctor Taylor. Can we talk for a bit before I take you in to see your son?"

"Um, well...sure. I mean, if that's necessary. Is...is he okay?"

"Oh, he's fine, relatively speaking. I just want to prepare you."

"That sounds ominous, doctor."

"I just want you to understand a few things. It'll only take a few minutes. So if you'll follow me, please?"

He took her to his office and sat her down and began to speak. "Mrs. Marshall, Zack hasn't said much to anyone since he was found wandering the streets alone and..." He moved closer to her and said, "But this morning he asked me something I want to share with you. Out of nowhere he said, 'Is my new mommy dead, too?' Now I'm not a police officer or a psychiatrist. I'm just an old country doctor. But my sense is the person who took him was a woman."

"Yes, that's what the FBI agent told me," Veronica replied. It finally registered with her this time. All these years everyone had assumed his abductor was a man. She'd been told that the people who take little boys are almost always men and that these men are virtually always molesters.

"I said, 'Tell me about your new mommy, okay?' and he told me she was the woman he'd lived with since her old mommy died. Does that make any sense to you?"

Veronica sat in stunned silence. This woman, whoever she was, had undoubtedly tried to convince Zack that his real mother was dead. She couldn't know for sure, but tentatively at least, it made sense. Unlike a man who wanted...she couldn't bring herself to even think of it right then...a woman would want to love and nurture and raise the child as her own, right? Why else to the trouble to abduct a child and take him to another country? At least that what she told herself wanting to believe the best.

"Um...maybe," she said. "I can't really say." She looked at the doctor and asked, "May I please see him now?"

"Sure," he told her. "I'm not even going to try and prepare you for the physical changes. I'm sure you've tried to picture him as a young adult, but seeing him for the first time..."

He stood up and opened the door for her and said, "He's quite a handsome young man, I should tell you, Mrs. Marshall. Whoever had him seems to have cared for him physically quite well, at least. His height and weight are normal and he's evidently received good dental and medical care. He'll need a complete physical and psychological exam, but I seen no outward signs of abuse or...torture."

He stopped at a wooden door and said, "Are you ready?"

Veronica nodded and waited for him to open it for her. She stepped inside and saw him laying in the bed with an IV in his arm. She felt the urge to cry more strongly than she ever had, but her need to strong for him won out. She stood there and just looked at him. His eyes were closed but the doctor was right. He was very handsome. Just like his father. He had thick, black hair and high cheekbones and soft, full lips and a chin dimple in the same place as his dad. He looked strong and fit and that simply didn't make sense. She took a few steps toward the bed and stood there still staring. Her heart was pounding so hard she thought it might wake him. Her little boy. Her precious Zachary.

When he opened his eyes, he blinked several times as he stared back at her. She smiled at him and fought off the urge to throw her arms around him. "Zack?" she said sweetly.

He cocked his head and said, "Who are you?" He had a deep baritone voice and Veronica loved the sound of it.

She moved closer and said, "Zack? It's me. Do you recognize me?"

His eyes opened wide as they welled up with tears. "Mommy?" was all he said.

Veronica began to cry, too, as she nodded her head and said, "Yes. Yes, honey, it's me."

"Mommy?" he called out. He tried to get up but there was an IV line in his arm.

"Don't move, sweetheart," she said as she leaned down and hugged for the first time in over twelve years. "Oh, my baby!" she said as she stroked his hair.

"I knew you'd find me. I knew it," he said as he sobbed heavily.

Neither of them spoke as they held one another close and cried. Veronica finally pulled back and said, "I've missed you SO much, Zack!"

"I missed you too, Mommy. I thought about you every day and I knew you'd find me. I knew it."

"Yes, I did," she said wiping her tears with the sleeve of her sweater. She pulled up a chair and sat next to him.

"How are you, sweetheart?" she asked as she stroked his face.

"Is my new mommy dead?" he asked her.

Veronica sat up said, "Oh, sweetheart. I don't know anything about her. I didn't know who took you or..."

"She told me you died," he said as he began to stop crying. "I think she's dead, Mommy. She wouldn't open my door for a really long time and I was so hungry and thirsty. When she finally did, she couldn't talk. She was sweating and choking and...and then she just stopped breathing. So...so I ran away. I was so scared!"

"Shhh! We can talk about all that later. All that matters is we're together. I love you so much, Zach," she told him as she brushed his dark hair out of his eyes.

"You're so pretty," he told her as he took her hand. "I never forgot how pretty you are, Mommy." He kissed her hand and held it close to his chest.

"Thank you, honey. I'm not as young as I was back then and I'm not as pretty, but I am still your mother and I do still love you so, so much. But you...you have become quite the handsome young man."

Zack smiled and said, "I love you too, Mommy. And you are still beautiful."

"I have something for you," she told him. She reached into her purse and handed him the Transformer.

"Optimus Primal!" he said as he took it. He was able to turn it into every possible shape just as he'd done 12 years before. As she watched him, it seemed as though a part of him was stuck in the past when he was seven years old while another part of him had the awareness of an adult. She pushed the thought aside knowing she'd have time to deal with those and so many other thoughts. For now, she was just thrilled he was alive and well.

"Do you remember your daddy, Zack?"

He was making noises the way boys do when they imagine a toy hero is fighting the bad guys. "Psh! Ugh! Take that!"

"Zack? Do you want to talk to your father?"

"My new mommy told me he died, too. Is alive just like you?"

She showed him some pictures on her smart phone and saw his face light up when he saw them. "Is he here? Can I talk to him?"

"He's not here, but you can talk to him. Give me a second, okay?" She dialed his number and when he answered she managed to say without crying, "Hi. There's someone here who wants to talk to his father." She handed him the phone but he had no idea what to do with it. "Just talk, honey. He'll hear you."

"Daddy? Are you there?"

There were more tears on both ends as the two...men...talked for quite some time not knowing exactly what to say. When they hung up, the doctor came and said, "Zack needs some rest, Mrs. Marshall. And you really should eat. How about we give him a few hours while you get a decent meal? There's a diner just down the street."

Over the next two days, Veronica spent every minute she could by Zack's side. She didn't understand all that was going on, but she knew there were some very deep underlying issue. She just couldn't put her finger on it. She could only hope that a fully-qualified doctor could tell her just what her son had been through and what she needed to do for him.

True to their word, the FBI flew Zack back to Seattle at their expense, and while Veronica had to pay for her fare, it was a small price to be sure to be with her son. They spent the next three days at the best hospital in the city where Zack was checked from head to toe and given a complete battery of psychological tests. When the results were in, the chief of psychiatry sat her down to talk.

"Mrs. Marshall. Zack has no serious physical issues. We've since learned the woman who abducted him was a registered nurse from your home state. Once they identified her, several of the town's residents knew her. She evidently came in about once a month for food and medical supplies. Those who knew her said she was very warm and pleasant. I know that doesn't change anything, but it's obvious he received reasonably good medical and dental care. However, that's where the good news ends."

"How so?" Veronica asked. "How bad was his time in...with her?"

"From what I can tell, Zack was...there's just no way to sugar coat this, Mrs. Marshall. The woman who abducted your son sexualized him to such a degree that he is going to have an extremely difficult time ever having a normal relationship with a woman his own age."

"What? What do you mean by 'sexualized him'?" she wanted to know.

"This woman...his abductor...lost her own child a year before she took Zack. In fact, she lost him and her husband in a car accident. We don't know much about her beyond that, but from what Zack told her, he was well...he was both her son and...her 'husband'."

"As in...?" Veronica began.

"I'm afraid so. Zack was initially treated as her own little boy, but I'm afraid things degenerated into something far more ominous over time. As a result, Zack has made an extremely deep connection between the need for his mother's love and approval with...with a need for...um...intimacy. In other words, Zack was routinely rewarded for 'good behavior' by being brought into this woman's bed and...and punished by being made to sleep alone in some kind of dark basement or cellar. I'm sure you can connect the dots without me having to get too specific."

"My poor baby!" she said trying to process how awful this must have been for him.

"Zack is, in many respects, still a seven-year old boy. Physically, he's a grown man, but he's had no contact with any other human being besides this woman he calls his 'new mommy.' No children. No other adults. Just her for the passed twelve years. He's going to need intensive psycho-therapy to help him disassociate a woman's love with his internalized need for...let me just say it—sex. So please be aware that in his mind at least, he will for the foreseeable future, be unable to understand that love is not the same thing as sex. And Mrs. Marshall? Don't overreact should Zack try and express his love for you in an inappropriate manner. Be loving, be supportive, but be firm in letting him know that mothers and their sons do not behave that way and that real love does not entail a physical relationship."

"Oh, my God," she said absent-mindedly.

Veronica and her son were flown home first-class to a hero's welcome at the airport. There were "We love you, Zack" and other such signs along with old photos and teddy bears in a pile, while local residents cheered and called out their support.

As they were driven home, Veronica said, "Your bedroom looks exactly like it did the day you left, honey. All of your favorite things are right where you left them."

"Like my other Transformers and Matchbox cars?" he asked with interest but without excitement.

"Yes, all of them. And your train set and other things. We are of course, going to have to buy you some new clothes. At 6' 2" you probably won't fit into what you were wearing twelve years ago." She tried to smile as she said it, but she had no idea what might make him happy or upset him. All she wanted was to make him know that we was loved and wanted.

As they drove into their driveway, his mother asked, "Do you remember our house?"

"Yeah," he said looking at it. "But it used to be white."

"Your father painted in ten years ago. But your room is exactly the same."

She took him inside and showed him every other room of the house before opening the door to his old room. "Go ahead, honey. Go on in."

"No!" he said.

"What's wrong, Zack? You're okay. You're safe. This is your home and your room. It's okay, honey."

"No! I don't want to be locked in here alone!" he cried.

"What? Locked in? I would never lock you inside here or anywhere, Zack. Never!"

"But I've been good, Mommy! I haven't done anything wrong. Don't make me go in there...please!!"

She went in first and sat on his bed. "See? It's safe. Come on. Sit down by me."

He looked all around before taking a tentative first step inside. "See? The door is open and you're safe. Look over there. There are your toys."

It took him quite awhile to make his way over to them, but he eventually sat down and started removing them one at a time calling the name of each Transformer as though he'd never been gone.

"So how about I go make us some dinner? You must be hungry?"

As she stood up and took a step toward the door, Zack jumped and hollered, "Don't lock me in, Mommy! I'll be good. I promise!" He threw his arms around her and said, "I didn't do anything wrong. Please don't punish me."

She stood there and held him as he cried. "You're not going to be punished, sweetheart. Come on. Let's go to the kitchen, okay?" not knowing what else to do.

Zack grabbed her hand as they walked and Veronica said, "What would you like to eat?"

"Can I have Lucky Charms or Captain Crunch?"

She didn't have either of those, but she did have a box of cereal and that seemed to satisfy him at least temporarily.

It began getting dark and Zack kept looking outside. "Night time is coming," he said. "I remember night time." He turned to Veronica and said, "I don't want to be alone in the night time, Mommy."

"How do you mean, sweetheart?" she asked fearing what his response might be.

"I don't want to be locked in my room all by myself." He began to cry again and said, "I haven't done anything bad. I don't deserve to be punished. I want to sleep with you."

Veronica asked him to sit down and after taking his hand said, "Zack? Can Mommy explain some things to you?"

She spent the next several minutes trying to tell him how mothers didn't sleep with their children except when they were very little. Mothers sleep with their husbands.

"But Daddy doesn't live here anymore. You told me that, Mommy. So you don't sleep with your husband. You sleep all alone. Is Daddy punishing you?" he asked, his eyes still filled with tears.

"No, sweetheart. Daddy isn't punishing me. It's just that, well, with adults, it's different. Sometimes mommies and daddies stop loving each other." She could tell that scared him so she said, "But they never, ever stop loving their children. Do you understand, honey?"

"I think so," he said. "You don't sleep with Daddy because you don't love him, but you do still love me."

"Yes! That's exactly right. See how simple that is?" she said.

As they got ready for bed that evening Zack refused to back alone so Veronica brought him a pair of her husband's old pajamas he'd left and asked him to get ready for bed. "But I don't sleep in clothes," he told her.

"Oh, okay. Well, then you can go ahead and get undressed whenever you're ready. I'll just say goodnight and go get ready for bed myself."

"No! You can't leave me in here. I didn't do anything wrong. It's not fair!"

She put her hand on his shoulder and told him, "Zack. You have to sleep in your own room. You don't have to wear the pajamas, but you do have to sleep here in this bed."

He started crying again and within seconds it was uncontrollable. She sat him down on the bed as he wailed. "Mommy won't lock the door, okay? Just lay down and go to sleep. It'll be okay. I promise."

Zack cried and begged her to let him sleep with her. "I'll be good, Mommy! I promise. I don't want to be punished."

"Zack, you're NOT being punished. Grown children do not sleep with their mothers. Period."

"My new mommy isn't like you. SHE loved me! She held me until I went to sleep. She made me feel good. You don't love me. You hate me!"

Veronica had no idea what to do. All she could do was trust what the doctor had told her. "Be strong," she'd said.

"Zack, lay down and go to sleep right now." She watched him curl up into the fetal position as he fell over on his bed. His sobs grew louder and stronger and Veronica could hear him clearly even in her bedroom with the doors closed.

This continued unabated until after midnight when the sobbing turned into screaming and shrieks of utter anguish. Tuning it out the way she'd tuned out his crying as a baby was impossible and it was killing her knowing he was hurting so badly.

She threw off the covers and walked down the hall to Zack's bedroom where he was still curled up and heaving sobs. "Honey?" she said. He immediately sat up. "Listen. You can sleep in my room tonight..." He jumped up and ran to her and threw his arms around her. "But..." she said through his bear hug. "You cannot sleep in my bed. I have an air mattress I'll blow up for you and can sleep on the floor next to me. Is that okay?"

"I knew you loved me, Mommy. I knew it. I've been good. I didn't do any bad things," he said as he squeezed so hard she could barely breathe.

"Come on, sweetheart. Mommy will make your bed."

Initially, at least, this seemed to pacify him. She put a sheet on the blow-up mattress then put down a top sheet and a blanket. Zack laid down and said, "Goodnight, Mommy," and Veronica thought she'd found reasonable compromise. It wasn't ideal, but at least the screaming had stopped.

Less than thirty minutes later, she was drifting off to sleep when she sensed a presence. As she opened her eyes, she screamed as she saw Zack standing beside her. "I can't sleep by myself," he told her. "I can't sleep unless you make me feel good. My new mommy always made me feel good so I could go to sleep."

"Zack, I explained that to you, honey. Mommies don't sleep with their grown-up children. You're not a little boy anymore. Now please lay down—over there—and go to sleep."

She rolled over just as the screaming and the shrieking began again. "You don't love me! You hate me! I didn't do anything wrong and you're punishing me!" Then came the knife through her heart, "I hate you! I want my new mommy back. SHE loved me! You hate me so I hate you!"

Veronica laid there listening to him howl and scream for what seemed like hours. She turned over and looked at the clock on her nightstand and just twenty minutes had passed and the volume never decreased. There was nowhere else to go. She couldn't go to a motel, she couldn't take him to his father's house, she couldn't have him committed, and going to a different room wouldn't help.

"Zack?" she called over his screams.

"I HATE you!" he hollered as he kicked and thrashed his 'bed.'

Veronica sighed deeply and said, "Do you want to come sleep with Mommy?"

The noise stopped. "Really? Can I?" he asked his chest still heaving.

"Just for tonight, though. And you have to stay on your side of the bed."

In less than a second, he'd crawled over the top of her and was under the covers beside her. "I knew you loved me, Mommy. I knew it!"

He snuggled up right next to her and Veronica said, "Zack! That is NOT okay. You have to move over to your side of the bed or you can't sleep in here. Do you understand me?"

He pulled his arm back that he'd draped over her chest and turned his back to her. "You are mad at me! You don't want to make me feel good!" And then came the tears and the crying and the screaming.

It was 2:30am when Veronica thought she was losing her mind. The screaming and wailing had gone on without a break since she made him move over. She turned over on her side. She hesitated before doing it, but she put her hand on his shoulder and said, "Zack? Honey? Can you please stop crying? Please?"

He reached up and took her hand and pulled it over his body. "Thank you, Mommy! Thank you!" He raised her hand to his mouth and kissed it over and over.

Veronica silently prayed this might work. Her arm was fully extended and now she couldn't sleep because her shoulder was in pain. She inched closer until the tension released and breathed a sigh of relief. "Now just be quiet, okay? Please?"

The moment she slid closer, Zack push himself back toward her. She was now essentially spooning with her own naked 18-year old son and had never felt so strange in her entire life. As she lay there; as Zack kissed her hand and stroked it, she felt something she hadn't felt since...since his father lived with her. At the same time, she felt sick to her stomach for even having such a feeling. "Maybe he'll just fall asleep," she said to herself. Veronica was exhausted and felt like she hadn't slept in days. Her eyes fell shut and just as she was drifting off, her brain told her something was very wrong.

Her arm was no longer across Zach's chest but across his waist. And his hand was no longer in hers. Instead, her fingers were wrapped around something that felt more like his wrist or his forearm or... "Oh, my God!" she shrieked pulling her hand back. "Zack! We talked about this. That is not allowed. Ever!"

"Mommy! Come back! Please! Make me feel good!" he begged her. He reached for her hand and she resisted but only for a moment. She felt as though she were outside her body watching someone else control her movements as she gave Zack her hand. Her brain fought hard to prevent him from placing it back where it had been, but there was a force deep inside her that made her stop fighting. "I'll just rest it there," she promised herself as her handsome son pressed his mommy's hand back where he wanted it. He forced her fingers open then wrapped them around it. When his body began to move, she told herself that as long as she kept her hand still, she wasn't actually participating. Her hand had to be somewhere and if this could stop the screaming...

She felt him slowly push himself up then return to where he was. Veronica also realized that her tiny fingers were wrapped around something very, very large. Something much larger than she'd ever felt before. It couldn't possibly do any harm to run her fingers up and down its length just to learn how big it actually was, could it? Before she could answer her own question, her fingers released their grip and the palm of her hand gently lowered itself all the way to the bottom of the long, hard object then proceeded to explore its length. Satisfied that she knew, she then felt compelled to know how thick it might be. This time she stroked it softly as she wrapped her fingers around it again verifying it was indeed much longer and much thicker than anything she'd ever held before.

As Zack's body moved, Veronica's hand moved in the opposite direction. As he pushed up, she softly pulled down. When he pulled back down, she gently lifted up. She felt her son push his bottom close against her and she pushed her legs in tight against his still unwilling to admit she was doing anything but trying to get him to fall asleep.

Even when he look her hand and placed it underneath the long, thick shaft in order to cradle whatever lay below, she refused to accept it was anything but innocent. A mother's love for her child. As she softly rolled the two very large objects in her hand, she heard Zack moan, "Thank you for making me feel good, Mommy."

The force...whatever it was...made her respond even though her brain told her to be silent. "You're welcome, honey," she told him as she began softly kissing his neck.

"I knew you still loved me, Mommy," he told her as she gently kissed him while pushing against the two very large, egg-like objects below the steel rod.

"I do love you, Zacky-Zack," she said using his childhood name. "Mommy does love her little boy."

Zack put her hand back on his rock-hard shaft and Veronica said, "Is this what my baby needs to go night-night?" She stroked him gently while continuing to kiss him softly.

"Can you please kiss it now, Mommy?" he said in a tone that bordered on a plea.

"You want me to kiss...this?" she asked as she gently shook it.

"Yes, Mommy. That's what makes me feel good."

"Oh, honey. I don't think that's such a good idea. Can't Mommy make you feel good like this?" she asked sweetly.

"Uh-uh!" he said loudly. "I want kisses!"

He rolled over on his back and pushed the covers off of them exposing his naked body to her in the dim light of the room. She didn't want to look, but the force had taken control of her and she couldn't stop it. As she gently stroked him, she looked down and saw what was the most enormous...the biggest...the most...beautiful...one of those she'd ever seen.

He slid his arm under her neck and began lifting her and rolling her over. "Zack. Honey. We really shouldn't..." She was now looking directly into his beautiful eyes. She stopped stroking him and put her hand on his face. "My beautiful, beautiful boy," she said. "I'm so glad you're home."

He pulled her toward him and she melted into his kiss as their lips met. In a moment, their tongues were dancing gleefully together, entangled in joyous touching. "Kiss me down there. Please, Mommy?" he begged her.

Zack pushed her toward his waiting shaft as she took it her hand. "Will this make you feel good, sweet boy?" she asked as she looked directly at it.

"Yes. It makes me feel good so I can go sleep," he said. "Please kiss it."

Veronica swept her long hair back over her ear and lowered herself onto his massive member. Zack groaned softly as she took him into her warm, wet mouth. She used her to hold him steady as she raised and lowered her head over and over. "Does that feel good, sweetie?" she asked as she went back down for more.

"It feels so good, Mommy. I like that so much!"

"Me too, sweetheart," she moaned. Veronica was aware that she was soaking wet and that every cell in her body was screaming and crying out for release. She raised up and quickly pulled off her nightie and said, "Do you know how to make Mommy feel good, honey?"

"Yes," he moaned as she took him deep inside her warm, wet mouth.

Zack reached behind her and found what she was hoping he'd find. She gasped sharply as his finger gently touched her for the first time. "Oh, God!" she cried as she went back down again.

Zack had obviously learned to please his new mommy well and Veronica was grateful for her tutelage as his finger slid inside her. "You're very happy," he said as he noticed the extreme wetness.

"Yes, I am, honey. That makes Mommy very happy. Does this still feel good?" she asked stopping just long enough to find out.

"Yes, but I want to plug in," he said. "Can we please do that, Mommy? Please?"

"Plug in?" she asked him stopping momentarily again.

"Uh-huh. You know, like when you plug a cord into the wall and it makes the electricity come out. I want you to have my electricity. I have lots of it inside me. My new mommy told me its dangerous to keep it in there too long."

"We don't want that, do we?" she said as she turned around and lay on top of him. "Do you want Mommy on top of you or underneath?"

"You need to be on the bottom so the electricity can get way inside you," he told her matter-of-factly.

Veronica rolled over and said, "Like this?" as he climbed on top of her.

"Yes, just like that. That's how we always did it when I plugged into my new mommy."

"Mmmm," she moaned as he used the tip of his cock to play with her swollen clit.

"That's to get you ready for the plug," he told her with total confidence.

"That feels so nice, honey. I'm ready to be plugged whenever you want," she moaned.

Zack found the sweet spot and began to push. "Oh, be easy, honey. Mommy hasn't been plugged into in a very long time. Go slow, okay?"

"I will, Mommy," he said slowing down for her. He pulled back then reinserted slowly pushing in a bit further each time.

"Oh...that feels so wonderful, sweetheart!" she purred as he took her as far as he could. "You make Mommy feel so good. You're such a good boy, Zackie-Zack."

"You make me feel good too, Mommy. You're so wet and slippery. It feels really nice to plug into you like this."

Zack stroked her slowly as Veronica gave in to passion. Her mind and body both craved what her sweet boy was giving her as he pulled all the way out then drove it all the way home time after time after sweet time.

"Oh, my God!" she cried. "Just like that, honey!"

Zack had obviously done this many, many times as he was able to hold off until Veronica was beside herself with excitement. "Oh, fuck!" she screamed. "Yes! Oh, Zack...just like that, honey! Oh, yes. Fuck Mommy hard!"

Zack pounded her hard and she loved the feeling of his huge balls slapping hard into her ass. "Oh...fffuck!" she screamed.

"Do you want my lightning now, Mommy?" he asked as he continued hammering her.

"Yessss!! Fuck...yesss!! Cum inside me, honey!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. She cried out with joy as she felt one hot stream of cum after another splash inside her until he collapsed on top of her.

Veronica lay there basking in the glow of the after-sex moments as she held her handsome son in her arms.

"Do you feel better now, sweetheart?" she asked him.

"Much better, Mommy," he said as he rolled over. Veronica lay and watched him fall asleep with seconds as she reveled in carrying his load inside her. She kissed him on the cheek before falling asleep herself.

In the morning, when her alarm clock woke her up, she lay there for a brief moment remembering the events of last night. She turned off the alarm then rolled over to kiss her sweet boy when the sun shining through the blinds hurt her eyes bringing her back to reality.

She sat up in bed and shook her head. "That was the most vivid, crazy dream I've ever had." She wanted to be at the gym in an hour and needed to pee and have a cup of coffee first. As she got out of bed she couldn't help but look back one more time to see if maybe, just maybe, her beautiful boy might be laying there beside her.

"Fucking dreams. This day is wrecked for sure," she said as she stood up and went into the bathroom still shaking off the unspeakable images of her dream.