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Abominable Tutorial

--Eira POV--

I violently shake around a stiff corpse inches away from Aponi's face, "Consume it, Aponi! Feast on its essence of death!" I hold up the corpse and point at the hollow expression left on its face, "You're a creature that holds a strong affinity to this… death! Harvest its leftover essence for yourself so that you may live!"

"Eira, stop, you aren't helping!" Terry shouts.

"Well, you two aren't doing anything except standing there all somber! Are you going to help me save Aponi's life or not!?" I answer back angrily.

Terry frowns obviously fed up with feeling hopeless, he grabs the corpse with reluctance and brings it to Aponi.

He holds it up awkwardly and with guilt in his voice, "A-Aponi… please, Uhm, absorb this corpse or whatever." he says to her.

[Host, mana levels have risen sharply over the past hour. It is estimated that some kind of tipping point might soon be reached.]

'What? What tipping point? How soon?'

Suddenly, it is extremely quiet, and everything seems to freeze. I glance at Terry, who looks like he is about to make Aponi kiss the corpse and then at Sam and Jimmy, who are watching Terry with uncomfortable expressions and wide eyes.

In my head, a voice different from my own system's begins to speak. Like the EGS system, it is soothing and feminine, but a bit sterner and less motherly in tone.

"Beta entity 12 located…

Uploading entity data to Cosmic System now…

ERROR… Data already discovered for entity.

Mixing files and completing integration into Cosmic System now.

ERROR… Router MOD system detected within entity.

Checking permissions… Valid Permissions from C*******.

Integrating entity into Cosmic System with MOD System as intermediate.

Beginning tutorial… "

I rub my temples with frustration, 'So by soon, you meant pretty much immediately.'

A crack in space appears in front of me, emanating a blinding blue light. More and more cracks appear and spread as if the fabric of reality is crumbling until everything shatters, leaving me standing in a white room.

"Welcome and congratulations, Beta entity 12.

Your mana levels have been found to be sufficiently high enough for early integration into the 'Cosmic System'."

'So it seems the Cosmic System is only integrating individuals of a high enough mana level right now… What about you, EGS System, are you still there?'

[...]

I frown and glance around while trying to stifle my anxieties about the return of the system earlier than I hoped. All I find around me is an endless and empty white space with no sign of anyone throughout.

I sigh and answer the 'Cosmic System', "I would hope I qualify, I mean I was kinda already integrated into the system anyway."

"As the entity states, the entity was already partially integrated into the Cosmic System through a router system. Thus, the need for clarification, as well as the need for an explanation of 'Status' and such, will be forgone. However, some changes have been made since the time of the entity's router system which have not yet been fully incorporated into it."

A list appears showing the changes made to the 'Cosmic System' over the past 70,000 years:

• 'Cosmic Mana Stream' will now reference self as 'Cosmic System' to those that are more familiar with the term 'System'.

• In the past, Titles were only for extraordinary achievements or qualities, but now a specialized subsystem will grant Titles for unique or unusual achievements. These Titles may grant additional positive or negative benefits. For example, Human Hunter could help you subconsciously adjust your aim when fighting humans, but on the other hand, humans will be subconsciously warier of you.

• Additionally, everyday life skills have been integrated into 'Cosmic System,' i.e., baking, metalworking, etc. Their direct battle utility is, however, minimal.

• No longer one size fits all; the 'Cosmic System' may give particular unusual creatures specialized status screens and stats, as living weapons had in the past.

• An occasional benefit may be added at certain stat levels, like the mana shield at 20 intelligence. You can still train this at lower intelligence, but the 'Cosmic System' will not assist in maintaining it.

• Finally, half of all stat points may now be manually placed instead of being applied automatically, like in the past.

'It referring to itself as a system now is annoying; I'll have to give the EGS System an actual name or something when I get back… I'll make sure to have some fun at its expense. Anyway, the Titles are a pretty big deal and I'm curious and concerned about them. The life skills don't seem too important to me, but they are interesting; the same goes for the specialized status and stats. The benefits at certain stat levels and the custom stat points are a huge deal. Though, what is unfortunate is I'm assuming no one on Earth will currently know when these stat points will unlock what, so it will be a learning experience. Except maybe the EGS System, but it refused to tell me about the mana shield for some reason, so I assume it won't tell me anything else about them.'

I nod, "Okay, can I ask some questions related to the past?"

"Apologies Beta entity 12, only basic questions related to 'Status' or 'Stats' are permitted."

"Well, that's probably the thing I need to know the least about. I guess, there isn't much point in my staying here then."

"Entities desire to leave is noted. However, before the entity may leave a simulated combat scenario must first be completed, so that the entity's 'Status' screen can reflect their abilities."

"Mine kinda already does, but whatever. So I just have to complete a combat scenario? I guess I'll just have to fight something that's near my own level or something?"

"

That is correct. If you are defeated, you will be sent back immediately. If the entity succeeds and sufficient data has been gathered, then the entity will again be sent back. If data is insufficient the entity may have to go through a second simulation.

The simulation will begin momentarily.

Analyzing… Entity has been identified as 'True God'.

Unable to find True God level simulation… substituting Demi-God level creature.

Beginning simulation…

"

"Wait, True God. Demi-God?! No!" I scream out.

The white space vanishes, and I suddenly find myself standing in a barren wasteland. The earth is scorched black, and the sky glows with a reddish hue. Nearby, the deafening sounds of volcanoes spewing never-ending amounts of lava threaten to blow out my eardrums. Feeling myself swaying as if on a raft, I glance around and scrutinize the area carefully. I notice that some of the black earth will occasionally spurt bubbles exposing the red underneath. I quickly realize that I seem to be standing on a platform that is floating through a river of lava.

I wipe the sweat from my forehead, "O-Okay… please end the simulation."

I look up, hoping that maybe I can see any sign of anything that I can talk to or use to leave. What I notice makes me nearly vomit. Through the red hue of the sky, something that resembles a giant meteor is plummeting toward the direction of a cooled lava field. It crashes with a huge amount of force into the earth, forcing me to cover my eyes in fear of having red hot lava thrown up from beneath the ground splashed into them. When I regain sight from the pit, I can see an arm reach out and slam against the ground, followed by countless other arms. The arms rip at the edge of the crater removing boulder-sized chunks of partially cooled lava and rock as it tries to right its body.

The earth trembles violently as it slowly pulls itself from the pit and stands as tall as a skyscraper. Its body is humanoid and colored an ashen white. Along the sides are countless limbs flailing around as if looking for something to grasp. From its neck, instead of a head, sprouts yet another even more gigantic hand with little discernible difference from a regular hand excluding its ashen white appearance and its size.

"Beginning Million Armed Monstrosity combat simulation."

The monstrosity begins to walk, beating its namesake one-million arms and hands against the ground as if feeling the area around it. The ground under its many hands crumples as the earth quakes, and lava shoots from the earth. As if somehow ascertaining my location perfectly, it begins to tread the shortest possible path toward me.

'Hide… must hide.'

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--Eden POV--

I stand in a field of green as a soothing breeze blows my hair back. The sun here shines warming my skin, and unlike on Earth, it does not itch or burn, but instead feels pleasant like the moonlight of the real world now does. I take a deep breath and let the feeling of tranquility wash over me. I walk over to the single tree nearby and pick up a tree limb that's laying on the ground.

Suddenly, I notice something striking the ground with a loud noise. I glance over to find a tiny little crater, from which a small creature immediately hops out of. It reminds me of a hare with brown fur, long ears, and an innocent look about it. The only difference is it has a pair of antlers on its head.

"Beginning Jackalope combat simulation."

"So, I'm supposed to fight this little hare?"

Of course, I receive no answer. I didn't need one anyway as the jackalope begins to sprint at me on its own. It jumps way higher and with more speed than one would expect while aiming its antlers at my exposed eyes. I raise the tree limb and catch the jackalope with it, but incredibly I have to brace my feet against the soil to prevent myself from falling over.

Unfortunately for the little jackalope, however, it has lost all its momentum, causing it to drop to the ground in front of me. Not willing to give up such a good opportunity, I toss the stick to the ground and grab it by the antlers causing it to kick and squeal. I drop my knee onto its stomach and tighten my grip on the antlers before twisting and breaking its neck with a loud crack. The cracking bone makes me feel sick and causes me to wish I still had my saber, but a second later the jackalope disappears into motes of light.

"Intermediate Swordplay detected, adding to status."

"That doesn't sound bad, I guess? Although, I'm confused about how it assigned a skill level just from blocking once."

"Additional data needed. Run additional combat simulation with Beta entity 818401."

This time instead of falling from the sky, more lights appear and gather together. The lights combine and swirl together, forming the outline of a human male… or what I thought was a human at first. One of the first things that catch my attention is his skin and long straight hair, which look as black as an abyss. Two lines of white paint run from his eyes and down his throat contrasting with the black skin. As for the eyes, they have yellow irises while the pupils remind me of those of a goat or ram. Following along the same animal type, two ram-like horns jut from its forehead and bend back in a curve. His ears are sharp, but unlike Eira's, they're not much longer than that of a human.

Keeping with the dark theme, his clothing is also an ashy gray. He wears a black leather coat that runs past his knees. The coat has five evenly spaced belts that tie the two sides together via a copper belt loop. Around his waist, he wears another belt, but this one looks to be made of some kind of red metal. Finally, he wears a pair of loose black pants that run into a pair of what appears to be tanned soft skin boots.

"Holy hell. I still can't believe this is finally happening, and I'm also a Beta entity!" He turns his head toward me, and his yellow eyes grow wide, "Half-bird! It's you!"

The goat-man removes something from his coat pocket and hurls it at me. I dodge, and the thing slams against the tree behind me. Looking back, I find a seemingly familiar shattered cellphone. I think for a moment and realize who this person probably is.

He stomps the ground, angrily, "How the shit am I supposed to use a human device in the Hell dimension?! Coming to Earth isn't easy, you know? Speaking of which, do you know how much I paid for the nightclub to appear for you people only for you to destroy the place!?"

Deciding to play a small amount of damage control for Eira, I try to smooth things over, "Oh, yeah. You're the Shadow Demon from that day… Eira's been waiting for you to call. Uh, sorry about the mess back then."

"It's not like I owned the damn place or anything, but an explanation or something would have been nice!" he shouts back.

______________________

--Eira POV--

"Eira, are you okay, you look pale?" Sam asks as he reaches out to touch my shoulder.

I swat his hand away, "Don't touch me! I don't ever want to see a hand again!" I scream.

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