My Life is Shattered into Pieces

Months after ng nangyari kay Allie, di pa din ako nakakabalik sa dating ako. Pumapasok ako sa school pero lagi akong walang sa sarili ko. Di na ko nakakattend sa practices. Si Gio? Halos di na kami nakakapag-usap dahil lumalayo ako. I know na lagi syang nasa tabi ko at nakaabang lang pero ayoko muna syang ientertain dahil ayokong isipin ni Allie na nagpapakasaya ako with Gio gayong nawala na sya.

Dumating ang grades ko and bumaba lahat. I am depressed and di ko mapagkakaila yon. Until I accidentally met my younger brother sa isang cafeteria, si Caleb. My best bud lalo nung mga bata pa kami. Siguro dahil one year lang ang tanda ko sa kanya kaya kami nagkasundo ng sobra. Lagi naming kaaway non si Ate Rhia, our eldest, sobra kasi sa sungit pero love naman namin yon. Caleb then suggested na umuwi na ko. Seeing my itsura ngayon. He said sobrang payat and ang putla ko na. Miss na din daw ako nina mama and papa. Miss ko na din naman sila, as in. That's why I decided na bumalik na din talaga. I know na seeing Allie's bed, makes me reminisce everything about her.

As I went back to the dorm, I packed my things after magpaalam sa landlady namin. I paid my whole month rent kahit na 2 weeks lang ang stay ko this month. Naging mabait naman si ate so she deserves that and para na rin sa pagpayag nya na di pag-alis sa gamit ni Allie na nandun pa din since umalis sya. I told her na kukunin naman ng parents nya yung iba pang gamit na naiwan nung naghakot sila last time this week and she agreed.

Sinundo ako ni papa pauwi. I missed that. Palagi nya yong ginagawa bago pumasok sa work, ihahatid muna nya ko sa school.

"Let's go? It's been a while. "

Yes pa. Before we go, napatulala ako sa dorm, sa window kung san kami nagstay and whispered a little prayer.

"I'll miss you Allie"

"Allie is in the good place now. Mabait sya. I knew her and I can say na maayos sya pinalaki ng parents nya. That's why I'm sure she is with God now. She's your guardian angel now and seeing na nagpapakalugmok ka sa kalungkutan? Malulungkot din yon. Kaya cheer up. There are more better days ahead of you, ahead of us. "

Papa has been a very good advisor to me. Aside from mama, sya ang isa pang napagsasabihan ko ng lahat ng problems ko.

I smiled at him and he smiles too.

"We miss you, babe"

"I miss you too, pa"

As I reached home, niyakap agad ako ni mama.

"I prepared your favorite food, sinigang na baka. You need that so eat very well."

"San ka ba nanggaling taba? Ang payat mo na. Namiss ka namin. "

I smiled at my sister. "Thank you ate. I miss you too. "

I eat my stomach's desire. Ngayon lang ulit ako nakakain ng madami. Before di talaga ako makakain, isang slice lang ng bread, okay na sakin. Kaya siguro ang luluwag na din ng uniforms and pants ko. I looked myself at the huge mirror in my room. Grabe, what happened to me? Parang di ko na kilala ang sarili ko. I turned back to my things and unpack them and saw my picture with Allie while we took a selfie after a volleyball practice. Pinaprint ko pa talaga to coz this is one of my favorites. Yung ngiti namin na abot tenga. Yung tawanan namin that I can still hear from this picture. All the memories. Napaluha ulit ako. "I miss you so much Allie. Sana panaginip lang ang lahat ng nangyari. "

I was not aware na nakatulog pala ako. I looked at my phone and found out that it's nearly 9 in the evening. I looked at my messenger and saw a lot of messages, lahat nangungumusta. I opened one, a group chat of our volleyball team, they are all worried about me. Coach even messaged to see me tomorrow to talk things out. I think matatanggal na ako sa team given na ang tagal ko ng nawala at di nagpapakita sa practice.