Morning

"I'm sorry" Gabriel said as he saw me come out of the bathroom. "I didn't mean to do it."

I told him it was fine. It wasn't. While I was in the bathroom, I prepared myself for the panic attacks that are to ensue.

I sat down next to him. He put his hands around my shoulders, kissed the side of my hair, stood up and rummaged through his medicine cabinet. He handed me a set of small cream colored pills and a glass of cold tap water. There were 28 pills in total and they came in the distinct pink packaging I know too well.

"I don't have the morning after pill around and I don't think it's available around here." He instructed me to take four of the pills now, and four more 12 hours later.

I asked him why he has birth control pills in his medicine cabinet. His only response was that they were for emergency cases like this.

"I was going to take it ou-" I cut him off to tell him it was fine. My tone was firm and commanding. I didn't want to comfort him- this time I didn't care for his ego. Fuck him, figuratively.

I picked my clothes up and threw them on. I told him I needed to head home to finish my paper which is due in 6 hours. I did this while I had my hand on the door knob. I didn't wait for his reply.

I walked the hallways of his building inthe 5th floor and I think to myself, is this really better than being alone?