Charity

I like Charlie, he is my best friend, I love him. I wish we could be together but... I can't be. I lie straight to his face about things. I self harm so I know I'm still alive, It keeps me alive. I wish he knew how I feel. I don't understand how we are friends. We both are very different.

For example, Charlie is very athletic and male, he loves sports and likes to be a "big strong guy" you know. While I am very feminine and dainty, your girl loves makeup and dresses, I'm like a five-year-old girl. I wish he understood how I feel.

A lot of pressure is put on me by my parents. Since I am going through hormone surgery, my parents kicked me out. They said, "Don't come back until you are a boy again." I was forced to live with my Aunt Meline and move far away. Do you know how hard that is for a kid to go through already? I was a really blessed cause, the day I was about to commit Charlie stopped me. I was about to jump off the school building when an arm grabbed me and started crying. "Charity what the heck?" and an unfamiliar voice said. "Um... Who are thought?" I ask trying to get his arm away from me. "I'm Charlie," he says. He pulls his hood off, so handsome, but I don't wanna take advantage of him cause I can tell he's been drinking apple juice. "Charlie," I start to say trying to plead with him. But instead of a response a get a powerfully firm kiss. I pull away in astonishment. I hadn't come out yet but, at that moment I knew I was gay( I was still male). "Charlie, What," I say trying to shake off I kinda enjoyed it. "Sorry. I'm so sorry I wasn't thinking and.." I cut him off by pulling in for another kiss. He pulls away and gets up from where we were sitting. He turns back to me before opening the door to the steps. He makes direct eye contact and says, "We don't speak of this got it." "Got it," I say hopping up.