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A Mystery Begins!

Hana felt like she was lifting dumbbells with her eyelids when she awoke. The sun was already shining bright and warm, and she hated it. She wanted nothing more than to curl back up under the covers and nap, but she didn't have that luxury. Wearily taking out her message crystal, she enchanted it to display the time.

0440.

Oh no!

She flung herself out of bed and sprinted to the shower, only to remember that Zagiha had taken her towel, so no bath for her, she guessed. Hana grimaced. If he used her toothbrush, too, she swore she was going to…!

Okay, so Hana no idea what to do to a God, aside from maybe sealing his powers, but it took scores of powerful Sorcerers to even take down a fledgling deity, so that was out of the question.

Her face twisting up even more, she steadied her stomach and poked the head of her toothbrush. It was dry. Good. At least he didn't get his obnoxious fat mouth germs all over it. Such a kind and merciful God, she thought sarcastically, barely going through the motions of brushing her teeth. Hana spat in the sink, not chancing the cup to rinse her mouth out, and exited the bathroom, digging through her closet until she found the easiest dress she owned and a hat to cover her obviously uncombed hair. Grabbing her bag, she left the apartment and went next door, where Zagiha was already waiting, sipping a cup of coffee while leaning on the doorframe.

"27.93 seconds," he said, taking a long sip, "you're 27.93 seconds late. Rounding up from that is 28 seconds, which further rounding up is 30 seconds, so you're half a minute late. Kids these days… they don't have any respect for other peoples' time!"

"So happy to see you again," said Hana.

Zagiha removed the rim from his lips. "Ugh," he said, "you look like crap. Don't you have any pride in your appearance, or is it an 'in-thing' with the teens now to dress like a bag lady?"

That's it, she was sealing his powers for all eternity and dumping him at an animal shelter somewhere. Of course he could primp and preen as long as he wanted to; he wasn't a silly mortal who needed more than THREE AND A HALF HOURS of sleep!

"You're such a charity case, Hana. Don't worry; I'll have Rory pick you up something later so you won't look quite so poor."

She took a deep breath, trying to conceal her seething rage. Even a shy girl had limited patience for an arrogant prick such as him.

"Are we going to check the archives today?" she asked.

"Yes," Zagiha answered.

"So are we going to go, or…?"

"What?" he snapped. "Let me finish my coffee! Kids these days have no patience."

"…"

Well, he was right on that count. Hana waited in awkward silence as Zagiha took his sweet time sipping his coffee. He seemed even testier today than he was last night, and she didn't want to provoke his ire.

After a while, he tucked the cup away, and promptly snatched Hana's hat off her head, just sort of sauntering off with it.

"H-Hey!" she stuttered.

"Make haste, Hana," said Zagiha, putting her hat on. "It's time to leave, obviously."

"Can I have my hat back?" she asked, following him down several flights of stairs.

"No," he said, not even turning to look at her.

"Why do you always take my things?"

That got Zagiha to slow down. He crossed his arms and huffed. "I don't want your ugly yard sale hat. But I only have the clothes on my back, and trust me, I need this more than you."

"But…"

"Uh-uh-uh!" He waggled a finger at her. "Shut your face and pick up the pace. I'll give it back when we're safe."

Safe…?

There wasn't a cloud in the sky. It was twenty-nine degrees today, a rarity in Gesmaura. And Hana really wished she had her hat right about now. Zagiha's pace ranged from frantic to meandering, but she still found it hard to keep us as the larger passersby around her eclipsed her tiny body. He turned several times, occasionally pausing to look at storefronts and kiosks. His lackadaisical demeanor infuriated her. It wasn't too reassuring for the Chief Justice of the Northern Continental Court to have the attention span of a mosquito.

But when they began to pass the same shops and walk the same streets over and over again, she realized what was happening.

"Are you lost?" she asked.

Zagiha turned around. "Absolutely!" he said. "I don't know where the Federal Archives is!"

"Isn't this your city?" Hana couldn't believe it. And after all that talk of wasting his time, too!

"Well, yes," he said, expression growing visibly more panicked by the second. "But I've never actually explored it. I've mostly just been in the courthouse, working, forever."

"Seriously? Zagi--!"

"Hana, look!" Zagiha pulled a garment off a kiosk rack. "It's a tiny dress! For dogs!"

"What? Huh? Why do you need a dog dress? Uh… what's even going on right now?"

"Since Miss Buttercup's fur has been singed off in places, she'll need something to help her feel beautiful. Do you want her self-esteem to suffer, Hana?"

He plopped several kronora coins in the cashier's hand, making unflinching eye contact with her. Kneeling down to her level, he whispered in her ear: "Whatever you do, don't say my name. Your life depends on it."

"Why?"

Zagiha didn't answer her. Instead, he just continued on down the road, craning his neck out onto the street. "As you're so impatient, we can just take a rickshaw to the Archives. Excuse me! Excuse me, sir…!" None of the passing drivers stopped for him. Zagiha huffed, standing against the constant flow of foot traffic from the overpopulated capital. "Excuse me!"

"Outta my way!" snapped someone, roughly elbowing past him.

"Rude!" Zagiha snapped, but it was he against a mob of very irate commuters during the morning rush hour on a Wednesday. In other words, he lost against them, pathetically. They pushed and jostled him about, not holding back on a few choice words aimed at him as well. All the while, Hana pressed her body against the kiosk, trying to avoid his fate. One particularly large man barreled into Zagiha, and he lost his footing, the hat flying off him in a comical fashion. Zagiha staggered and regained his footing, squatting down for the hat, but it was too late.

"Zagiha-sa!" gasped a person.

"Your Holiness! So wonderful to grace us with your presence today!"

"Can you kiss my baby?"

"Zagiha-sa!"

"Zagiha-sa!"

"ZAGIHA-SA!"

And just like that, the people who hadn't cared about him ten seconds ago crowded together, forming an impenetrable circle of human bodies around him. Hana stood up on her tiptoes, but even then, the crowd obscured him.

"Your Holiness, I'm from the press! Do you mind answering some questions?"

"Talk to my PR manager," he answered, subtly nudging his way through to make an escape. Of course, his efforts were in vain, as more curious people reinforced his prison. "Look, you are all very wonderful people, I'm sure, but I've got to… b-brush my, uh…" He paused and looked down. "…Tie?"

He really can't lie at all, can he? Hana thought.

To her surprise, the people paused, as though considering his excuse, but then they clamored around him once more.

"Yes, yes, brushing your tie is very important," said the reporter from before, "but please, just five minutes of your time?"

What? They actually bought it? Not that it helped him in the long run, but REALLY?

"Is it true the fire at the Continental Court was caused by arson?"

"Have you caught that suspected terrorist yet?"

"Those guards who were killed… is it dangerous for us to walk the streets?"

"Are we safe?"

Zagiha looked every which-way for an escape, palpable panic painting his face, but finding none, sighed and resigned himself to his fate.

"One question at a time, please!" he said. "There is no need to be alarmed, citizens. I assure you, you're in no danger. The cause of the fire is being investigated at the moment, but currently, no foul play is suspected. As for the terrorist…" Zagiha twiddled his thumbs and averted his eyes. "… The deaths of the guards were indeed tragic, but as the suspect is an Unforgivable, he couldn't possibly have gone far. The police will likely apprehend him within days, if not hours. Security detail at all federal buildings has been greatly increased, but there's no reason to believe you, the populace, are in danger."

It was like night and day. Hana couldn't believe her ears. Zagiha sounded… professional? Someone ought to give him an award for his acting.

"Please continue your lives as normal. After all, if there were anything to worry about, I wouldn't be here, would I?"

The crowd mumbled amongst themselves, but they seemed to agree with him.

"As soon as a suitable venue is found, court will be back in session. Stay in school! Pay your taxes! Goodbye!"

"Just one more question!"

Their hold on him tightened. Briefly, people moved aside enough for Hana to make eye contact with Zagiha.

"Run," he mouthed.

And he was overtaken again.

Hana obeyed his command. She sprinted down the road, looking for any intersection marking a street she knew. Finally, she found one. She could take this road east to get from work, and from there, she'd make her way to the Capitol District. And that's just what she did. Activating her staff, she rode it high into the sky, zooming past the restaurant and following the way to the District.

The Archives stood several blocks past the Continental Courthouse. She flew over it, assessing the damage. Yikes. The top floors were almost completely incinerated, the surviving wood support beams collapsed into the lower stories. There was no way it could be restored. They'd have to tear it down and build it up again from scratch.

That's probably why Zagiha told everybody to pay their taxes.

Hana realized just how close her brush with death was.

Even now, there was still a crew of firefighters on the scene, extinguishing the last of the blaze.

Shuddering, she passed it and flew the final stretch of the way, landing at the steps of the Archives. It was crawling with cops and security guards. They watched her warily as she climbed up the steps, making her way to the entrance.

A guard stopped her.

"What's your business here today?" he asked.

"Um… I'm here to look up arrest records?" she stuttered.

He squinted at her. "A little young to be interested in paperwork, aren't we?"

"Uhh…"

He chuckled. "Oh, shh! I'm just teasing you! I'm assuming this is for a school project? The public has access to records three years or older."

"Well, thank you," she said, "but I need current…"

"Sorry, you'll have to wait for them to be declassified."

"But…"

"… Intern!" Zagiha hastily emerged from a portal, plopping himself on the ground. His hair was disheveled and his tie crooked. "That's my intern!"

"Your Holiness!" The guard stood at attention and saluted him by crossing his arms across his chest. "You're consulting the records in person today?"

"Yes, yes," he said, sounding cross. "I need to look up something for a case. This intern's here to help me organize my work. Now that we've got that cleared up, stand aside, boys…"

"Wait! Does she have her…?"

"This is her first day," said Zagiha, pushing past him through the door, "brand new! Her security clearance card isn't in yet, but she's approved. I can vouch for her! I'm literally a God!"

"Ah, y-yes, sir."

"Hana!" Zagiha clapped his hands. "Come along. Chop-chop."

And he paraded her through.

It wasn't until they were far down the halls that he dropped his act.

"I can't believe you abandoned me," he said.

"What? You told me to!"

"Friends don't abandon friends, Hana."

Oh, so they were friends now? She doubted it.

"Anyway, I saved your hat, but it's, er…" He produced a dirty, crumpled bundle of cloth. "… I fixed it!" he snapped haughtily. "Now it's marginally less hideous. You're welcome."

He pressed his thumb into the door leading to the classified records room. Golden lines pulsed through etchings in the door, and it unlocked, swinging open as if by its own volition.

The room was dark and dusty, with only one desk and a couch to adorn it. Otherwise, it held only filing cabinets, reaching toward the ceiling. Hana lit a few candles with magic, and that was the only illumination they got. Zagiha opened up the first cabinet and pulled out a binder as thick as a dictionary. "Starting with this month, backwards," he said, plopping the binder open and sitting down at the desk. He squinted at it. "Well, grab a binder and start reading," he snapped.

"Huh?"

"What?"

"Can't you use your God magic to read through the records quickly?" asked Hana.

Zagiha blinked. "Don't be absurd, Hana," he answered.

"But this'll take all day!"

"Probably a few days, if we're going to be honest."

"I'll miss work."

"Oh, don't worry." Zagiha turned a page. "I took the liberty of quitting for you."

"WHAT?" She jumped up from her seat on the couch.

Zagiha glanced over at her and snorted. "What's the problem? You met with me, so that means you accepted my offer."

"But you can't just…!"

"Simmer down. It'll be fine. Just, uh… don't expect any references from them."

"Unbelievable." She scowled. "You're just unbelievable!"

"Huh?"

"You can't just interfere in other peoples' lives! Do you know how to treat people at all?" Hana crossed her arms. "I don't understand you! You do nice things, but then you're also really mean, and I don't know who you are! No wonder your wife left you!"

She stopped and gasped, realizing whom, exactly, she just told off.

But Zagiha didn't do anything except blink and sigh.

"A bit below the belt, wasn't that?" was all he said, tone even. Then he folded his hands and crumpled into himself. "… Third wife," he said.

"Pardon?"

"She was my third wife."

"In two thousand years, or…?"

"No." He frowned. "Within the last seven years. This time around, I resolved I'd do better. I really thought we were a match, but… but then I opened my mouth and screwed it up again."

"Oh." Hana felt ashamed of her outburst.

"I could pretend I have an excuse, that I've always been so busy with my work that I haven't learned to talk to people for twenty-five hundred years, but… no." Zagiha turned another page. "I've always been like this. I'm good at what I do, but the fact is my personality is fundamentally awful and I don't know why! The other members of the Court barely tolerate me, and that's only because I made their system. Honestly, I don't know how you managed to hold your temper against me until now."

"But if you know that, why are you still so rude?"

"I don't know!" Zagiha rubbed his chin. "I say I'm going to be nicer, but as soon as I talk to someone, I just blurt every intrusive thought I have out! And it doesn't matter how I actually feel about them, either. Actually, the more I'm fond of them, the worse I get. The only way I know how to show I care is buying gifts for people, because I don't have to talk."

Hana opened up a file of her own. "… Why do you care about me?" she asked.

"What?"

"You saved my life and gave me all this stuff. But I just met you yesterday. My mom said that when an older man singles a high school girl out and gives her lots of gifts, that means he wants to…"

"IT'S NOT THAT!" he sputtered. "Of course I wasn't going to let you die. I'm rude, not evil. And don't get me wrong. I'm just repaying my debts. As much as I hate to encourage foolhardy behavior, I wouldn't have found Winston and Buttercup without you. They're all I have, and them being alive means immensely to me. But otherwise, you're an acquaintance, nothing more, nothing less. Got it?"

"Y-Yes."

"Just, when I'm rude… I don't mean it. Take what I say with a grain of salt. This time, I'll commit to improving, but if I slip up, forgive me. Tell you what… when I'm rude to you, you can be rude to me. That'll help me learn soon enough. Deal?"

It was probably the best she was getting.

He extended his hand, and Hana shook it.

"Sure. But maybe you say everything you think of because you're the God of Truth?"

"Uhh…" Zagiha crumpled into a sad heap, his energy instantly changing from calm to pathetic. "I'm not truthful!" he cried. "Back there, when I gave that impromptu press conference, I was lying!" He furrowed his brow. "Okay, so it was more… choosing my words carefully. It's likely the police will apprehend the suspect, but there's a good chance they won't. We don't know his name, and he didn't leave a trail behind! And the only reason the police don't suspect arson is because nobody can figure out what caused such a huge explosion! Magic doesn't do anything like that! But once they do, it's definitely going to be ruled as foul play! And, and…" he hyperventilated. "I didn't really have to brush my tie; that was one-hundred percent a lie, and…"

"That was pretty obvious," said Hana.

"… Eh?" Zagiha paused, turning to her. He looked genuinely shocked. She didn't know why he thought it was a remotely decent lie. "You knew that was a lie?"

"How couldn't I? You're bad at!"

"But, but…" He narrowed his eyes. "The sky is brown."

"What? What are you doing? You just laid your heart bare, but you're impossible to understand!"

"How can you…?"

"What are you going on about?"

"Never mind." Zagiha buried his nose in the text. "It's not important. It's not that I enjoy misleading people, but I'm their patron deity, and it's my duty they feel safe. If I don't know things, the city will fall into disarray. Still, I don't think they have to worry…"

Hana chalked it up to typical Zagiha oddness.

"The Courthouse was attacked, wasn't it?" she asked.

He nodded. "The police received a tip, so that's why I ordered an evacuation. But from the looks of it, the people don't have to worry."

"That's… really alarming, though?"

"No, it isn't!" He frowned. "The culprit's target was me. That's why it was my

apartment that caught on fire."

"That makes no sense!" said Hana. "You're immortal. Attacking you would do nothing!"

"You think they don't know that? But remember what I said last night? Even if I can make a new body, it takes several weeks. I can't interact with the physical world if I don't have an avatar. So if I was out of the equation for a while, and unable to use my magic to protect Modrica, they would be able to do whatever it is they're planning."

"Oh." She pressed her lips together. "That does make sense."

"As long as I'm around, they can't do anything, and that's why the people shouldn't be worried… as of right now. And that's kind of why I'm laying low at the moment."

"Do you have any idea who would do that?" asked Hana. "Do you have any enemies?"

"Hana, dear," said Zagiha, "I'm the notoriously difficult to get along with Chief Justice of Northern Europa, who's put behind bars the vilest, most treasonous, roughest garbage on the Continent. Furthermore, I've ruled constitutional many an unpopular bill. I don't have friends!"

"Oh… right."

Zagiha turned the final page of the binder. "At the same time, I don't think it's due to a personal grudge. I'm just in their way."

"I see. Is it safe for you to be here?"

"I took a portal here, remember? Do you have the memory of a goldfish? They don't know I'm here. Anyway, the chitchat's been fun, but we have a mountain of paperwork to go through. Get reading!"

Hana dropped the subject, and consulted her binder. But the flickering candlelight was so calming, and the couch so comfortable, and she'd gotten so little sleep, that soon enough, she fell into dreamland.

--

Hana awoke with a jolt. She didn't know what time it was. Surely she just nodded off? She had to get back to work. She shifted about, only to find Zagiha's cloak draped over her.

"Has Sleeping Beauty awoken from her slumber?"

Zagiha still sat at the desk, but now, there was a large stack of binders behind him.

"Wha-what? Huh? How long was I asleep?"

"Four hours, twenty-six minutes, and nineteen seconds."

"What? Why didn't you wake me up?"

He clicked a pen. "I figured your pathetic human body wouldn't be helpful if it were exhausted."

"R-Rude…"

"Yes. Sorry. And it needs nourishment for some reason too, right? I got delivery!"

"Really?" She balked in disbelief at the bag set on the ground beside him.

He pulled out a container and opened it, giving it to her. "Re-energize your brain so it's of some use."

Hana sniffed it. Pea soup.

"This is my favorite food," she said. "How did you know that?"

Zagiha paused, as if thinking about something. "Because half the cuisine in this country is pea soup?" He snorted. "It's a coincidence, Gods."

Oh. Right. She was overthinking it. She ate a spoonful. The soup was lukewarm, but it was more than welcome after her rough night.

"Looks like you got pretty far, there," said Hana, looking at the pile of binders. "Did you find anything?"

"No!" Zagiha's voice cracked in frustration. "This record-keeping is terrible! The names of Unforgivable arrestees are only recorded on average seventeen percent of the time! What the hell is this? Do I have to do everything to make the system run as it should?" And he ranted on and on. "Your brother… he could be any of these people, or none of them! This is hopeless!"

"So the records idea is a bust?"

"Seems so. It shouldn't be, yet here we are."

"What next?"

Zagiha sighed. "We head right to the source."

"Do you mean…?"

"Yes," he confirmed. "We're paying the Unforgivable slums a visit."

The genre's mystery now. Apparently.

I'm not smart enough to write mysteries.

A self-aware tsundere? What an unusual flavor! Let's hope Zagiha keeps his promise to work on his personality, but he seems a little shifty.

Anyway, sorry if the editing's a little wonky this week. I was working on a tight schedule. As ever, join me again in two weeks for the next update!

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