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His blame , Her shame.

"Shh! I know baby." Vivan said, comforting Ira.

Only then did his words were registered in her brain. In shock she looked up to see his face, calm and gentle as always: "Since when?"

"Just recently. I found your doctors prescription for the pills," he said in a soothing and tender voice.

"Why didn't you confront me? Weren't you angry?" Ira asked.

"I was angry at first. Very angry, but I realized I didn't want to fight with you. Ira, I am very thankful  for you trusting our love and me." 

"I accept your apology." Vivan said while smiling as he recalled the day. 

_______

That night, Vivan came home late drunk to an unlit room. He looked at their bedroom door coldly.

When he saw the prescription of the doctor, it was dated a year back, the same day they had their fertility tested. 

He wanted to barge in and directly ask her. Why? 

'A woman who doesn't love you will definitely don't want to have your child.' He thought to himself. The sudden unease burned through his body; he analyzed the day of pregnancy announcement when she cried, the online search history of abortion clinics, the day of their marriage, engagement... All these scenes created havoc in his brain.

When he entered their bedroom, he saw Ira had fallen asleep. Just looking at his wife's sleeping face, all his anger suddenly vanished like a bubble. He didn't feel an ounce of his hatred earlier.

His hand gently stroked her face. His own heart was loving and affectionate. Even if it was only for her career that she married him, but he was the one who loves Ira with all his heart.

As long as he had his wife by his side, he believed that feelings could always be cultivated. Now, he was even sure she accepted their child and also him, wholeheartedly.

It wasn't that he was blind to all of her efforts and care to him.

Vivan knew she was changing. Thinking of it, he bowed his head and kissed her soft lips. 

"Oh..." Having her lips blocked, Ira groaned in her sleep.

He decided to let go of the matter completely. No strings attached. 

______

Ira didn't expect to be forgiven so easily. She was so scared to even face him. She thought of ways to apologize without having to face his scorn as in writing a letter, a text message, or even a voicemail.

However, she decided that she needed to face him anyway.

She expected his anger, his scorn. 

She expected his attack, his blame and her shame.

All she got was a calm face with a sweet smile! No blame, No shame...

"Viv... I just want you to know.... that you didn't deserve.....what happened between us..... You didn't deserve... to be treated that way. .....You are such a good person," Ira was sobbing .

"Don't cry, please. If you cry, my heart feels so uncomfortable," Vivan said holding her warm hands in his. He wiped her tears. 

When she calmed down, Vivan said, "Ira, the event of our child affected the both of us, so the decision should include you and me . Right! You could just have told me."

"Viv, I didn't want to be a mother just for my career. I am sorry, I was selfish," Ira admitted. That time she was not willing to take responsibility of the child. 

"Wife, let's build a healthy relationship. No pressure, no tricks; just love and support. I love you." Vivan's face had the most dazzling smile ever.

"Hmm," Ira said in a mosquito voice. He confessed his love directly to her for the first time.

They kissed and made the most passionate love that night.

'Love' was a big word for her. After the past life, she liked Vivan for his personality and wanted to win him over, yet love came in as a pleasant surprise.

Ira felt relieved. She was free to love Vivan, not carrying the pain or guilt of the past.

Vivan also breathed out a heavy sigh of relief. Even though he had already forgiven Ira, something was still holding him back of trusting her; loving her while no strings attached was hard.

And the way he dealth with the issue was infact cowardly. He should have asked her maybe after letting some time to pass for him to cool down and let her explain. But deep down he was afraid that the hot headed her would agree to his doubts when confronted or even let go of the relationship they built. 

Past hurts can leave bruises, especially if the people who were responsible for them do not offer real apologies and amends. But just with a sincere 'Sorry', those bruises would get healed and leave no marks.

~Thanks for the love~

It was the most emotional chapter I have ever written EVER.

Not like I wrote much considering this is my first novel. But I.... I....

I cried.

ὃ⍜ὅ

pat me.

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