Trepidations

Yu Yan couldn't sleep no matter how hard she tried. She felt over-whelming sadness and great disappointment but she was most disappointed with herself. Disappointed at her inability,poverty and why she wasn't good enough for Li Jun. She gave up on trying to sleep and wondered what he was doing. 'He must be asleep by now' she thought Yu Yan heard little noises outside and thought it was a little weird that Li Jun was making so much noise this late at night . Then it dawn on her. Was he looking for her? -For a confrontation? If they fought , would it escalate so much that he might even hit her? 'No he wouldn't do that... he would never do that'... She wanted to believe ,she really did. But the fear once implanted was hard to erase.

The door to the room opened with a banged and she heard Li Jun's breathe...he was panting?. 'Is he still THAT angry?'... So it was true that he was still angry at her. Yu Yan calmed her breathing and pretended to be asleep. She wanted to avoid the confrontation, she wanted to avoid reality. Suddenly she heard him coming closer but his footsteps seemed deliberately quiet. She felt a sink near her. She tried to calm herself to whatever was going to happen....But whatever she was expecting,it was not Li Jun softly brushing her hair and leaning in to kiss her head and signing and him softly whispering "sorry".

Suddenly all her fears ,and trepidations were washed away, she opened her eyes relief flooding in....and with relief came her tears.She wasn't crying earlier,she didn't know why she was crying now.He wasn't mad at her. This had to be a misunderstanding. Surely,they just needed to talk it out ,she thought and wanted to say something but all that came out were heart wrenching sobs.

Li Jun was appalled.