¡what the hell! ¿twilight?

Into the Blue

"You look tired" Matt whispers across the table. I look up from my math book squinting in his direction.

"Early morning?" I mumble, Matt doesn't buy it.

"Spill." Ten years of friendship has made it impossible to hide anything from him.

"She downed a whole bottle of Captain Morgan and passed out with the stove on." I rub at my tired eyes trying to bring life back into them, it's not working. "I woke up to smoke and burnt plastic, she left a bowl on the stove. I had to clean and get her ready for work." Matt shakes his head,

"How does that women even have a job, she's has to be hung over like all day, how does she even teach?" I sigh,

"Practice, talent, magic, who knows as long as she has a job." I look back down to my equations but the page has gone fuzzy, how can I solve for X when I can't see it.

"If I could, I'd call the university and tell them about their professor and her after school activities,"

"Stop, if she looses her job we loose our only source of income." He shrugs,

"I know I said if I could, Mare." He looks back at the textbook in his lap, "Besides it not like she spends her money on anything other than booze." Not true. I release a breath and look back down to my homework, I'm never going to finish this before class. I was going to do it this morning, but babysitting my mother came first. I look back at Matt and groan, he's so focused on his math book in his lap, he has to be finished with the equations by now,

"Can I copy your homework Mattie, just this one time?" Lie,

"This is like the thirtieth time you've copied my homework this month." I scrunch my brows, and push the table into his stomach. He doubles over loosing his grip on his textbooks, it falls off his lap onto the floor. Quickly I reach for the fallen book, but it's not just his math book,

"Wait!" He hisses, but it's too late, I've already picked it up and now hold the cover between two fingers,

"Twilight?!"

"Shhhhhhhhh!" Miss Anders the school librarian hisses from across the room, her body half hidden behind her desk,

"Give it!" Matt yanks the book from my fingers and stuffs it into his backpack,

"How can you read that?" He shrugs,

"You have to read the book before you see the movie?" I scoff,

"You're going to watch the movies too?" I roll my eyes,

"I'll be the first to admit the writing's subpar but the storyline and the characters are really interesting." I lean back, the old library chair digs into my shoulder blades.

"Oh I bet,"

"I'm serious!" He defends catching on quickly to my sarcasm, "The author really hit all the necessary must have characters. The big muscular teddy bear, the silent brooding guy, the tiny oddball, the head of the family, the mom of the group, the beautiful mean girl, the hot male lead and the shy main character that's "different from other girls" it's the perfect balance!" I shake my head,

"That's not a perfect balance Matt that's archaic, books need more than just characters. It needs a good plot and a hero's quest not just a girl that falls in love with a vampire." Matt shakes his head,

"You just haven't read it yet. Here I was only rereading it." Slowly he slides it across the table, I slide it back.

"No, besides I don't have time." He raises one eyebrow,

"I'll let you borrow my math homework." Damn him,

"I don't appreciate the methods you're using to get me to read your favorite book." Matt holds up his completed worksheet and wiggles it in the air. Damnit he's even shown his work, "Fine!"

"Shhhhhhh!" Mr. Anders hisses again, I throw her an apologetic look and shove the book into my backpack, before snatching Matts homework out of his hand.

"Why is freshman Algebra so hard?" I whine quickly scribbling down the answers,

"I think it's a government conspiracy." I slide his worksheet back and stuff mine into my text book right as the bell rings. Matt does the same,

"Ready?"

"Let's go." I sling my backpack across my shoulders and stand. That stupid twilight book has made my book bag a lot heavier. We head for the library exits, I give Miss. Anders a smile on the way out, she doesn't return it, probably wishes Matt and I would stop spending our free period here.

"Hey when you finish the first one, I'll give you the sequel, granted it's not my favorite in the series, but the new characters are more-"

"Don't push it Matthew."

"You know if you cut your hair, stopped walking out in the sun and wore brown contacts you'd look like Bella-" Matt bumps my shoulder,

"Wanna know what you'd look like with my fist in your face?" Matt steps back from me,

"Never mind."

…

Gym was brutal. We'd move on to basketball. My team never passed me the ball, so that was good, but I fell down a lot. Sometimes I took people with me. Today I was worse than usual because mu head was so filled with Edward. I tried to concentrate on my feet, but he kept creeping back into my thoughts just when I really needed my balance.

"Really?" I scoff, "Get a hobby." I'd been unable to put this book down since I picked it up, something about it kept me reading, but I'd also been picking it apart.

"I'm home!" The door hasn't even close yet and I can already hear the clanging of glass bottles. This means she's stopped at the grocery store on her way home. I close Matts book and set it aside and head into the kitchen. Mom already has a glass of whiskey on the counter, and is hiding the other bottles under the sink.

"How was work?" She shoves the last bottle of Smirnoff under the pipes before looking up and smiling,

"Good, how was school?" I shrug,

"It was fine." She stands and grabs for her glass,

"Good, what do you want for dinner? I was thinking takeout, you like everything on your pizza right?" I smile and nod. I love my mother, this is the mother I want 24/7, the mother who's sober and knows exactly what I want on my pizza and asks me how school is. My smile is wiped of my face when she takes that first drink.

"Okay, I'll order." She kisses the top of my head before passing me to get to the landline. I take a deep breath, it's only a matter of time now.

…

"Did you finished your homework?" An angry voice demands. In a matter of hours my mother has gone from a sober mom ordering pizza, to an angry paranoid walking disaster. I sigh,

"Yes,"

"Don't get smart with me." She points her finger in my face, an enraged snarl on her lips,

"Sorry." I mumble looking back down to my book,

"Drink" he ordered. I sipped my soda obediently,

The book is ripped from my hands,

"Where did you get this? I know I didn't buy it for you." She shakes the paperback around, my place now officiously lost.

"I borrowed it,"

"Borrowed from whom?" I love my mom, but when she's like this she scares the absolute hell out of me,

"Matt." My hair is wrenched forward being pulled out at the roots,

"I told you to stay away from boys," She lets go shoving me off the couch and onto the floor. My hands and knees hit the ground hard,

"Mom!"

"You know where boys lead," I start getting to my feet when a hard kick to my stomach sends me back down, "You'll have sex, and start whoring yourself out and when you get pregnant I'm not raising your mistake!" I suck in air greedily, my breath being taken from her kick. I turn my head to face her, she towers over me, her face red and eyes blurry from the alcohol. She steps steps closer fist raised, I grab her ankle pulling her towards me and off balance, it's easy to do with the whiskey already in her system. She lands on her back a groan escapes her lips. Perfect she's dazed. I roll on to my back and get to my feet heading for my room but just like I did my mom grabs my foot and pulls me to the floor. My foreheads breaks my fall and I see stars. It task me a second to realize my mom has completely regained her composure and is pulling me towards her. I shake the dizziness away just as hands grab my shoulders and roll me onto my back,

"Mom!" Long boney fingers wrap around my neck and squeeze.

"You never listen!" She hisses through clenched teeth, her fingers tighten to completly cut off my air supply. I scratch at her hands, opening my mouth wide hoping for any bit of oxygen I can get, I get none. "Why was I cursed with a slut for a daughter!" Her eyes bulge and I feel like my head is going to explode and I realize that this is how I'm going to die. I look around for anything to hit her with, anything at all. Blackness starts to creep into my vision and I know I'm going to pass out any second when something catches my eye. An empty bottle of Bacardi under the couch. It's embarrassing to always have your recycling filled with empty glass bottles, we've learned to hide them. I grab the neck of the bottle and bring it into her temple. She lets go and falls to the side, I take a deep breath in, tear streaming down my face when the burning coughing starts. I turn looking over at my mom's passed out figure on the floor, her skin a sweaty mess and hair sprawled out around her. We've had arguments and fights before and when she's two bottle deep it's not unusual for her to get physical, usually over the topic of me dating or talking to boys, but she's never gotten this violent with me. I touch my neck the skin already starting to swell. I'm not staying here to wait for her to wake. Quickly I get to my feet and grab my backpack and head to the door. My hand is on the handle when I realize I forgot Matt's book. I step over my mom and grab the worn paperback copy and run back towards the door sprinting out in to the chilly New York air.

I can't stop the tears, my eyes burn and I quickly wipe them away, the high from almost being strangled to death is starting to wear off leaving me feeling soar and tired and I realize I have no where to go. I haven't seen my grandparents since I was 8 and my mother has no siblings and my father is a mystery, and suddenly the world gets heavier on my shoulders. I stop and take a deep breath, my chest hurts. I wince reaching the end of the block and sit down on the curb. I push my head between my knees and let myself absorb everything. My mom who gave birth to me, who's only just kissed my forehead hours ago, who knew how I liked my pizza, almost killed me. She always drinks but never to the point where she would do something she couldn't come back from and I'm left with that one question now, why? My phone! I turn reaching into my backpack pocket and pull out my cell phone, It's nothing fancy just a flip phone with a few numbers programmed into it, one of them is Matt's. I hit his number and listen for the ring, he answers quickly.

"Finished all ready?" He chuckles on the other line,

"Matt?" I force out, his name scrapping against my throat the whole way up,

"Mare? What's wrong?"

"She..." My voice cracks, "She hurt me, she almost killed me." Tears burn my eyes again, I reach up and wipe them away before they can fall.

"She what?"

"I can't stay there tonight."

"Mare, you can't stay there at all you need to tell someone and get help, are you okay? How bad are you hurt?"

"She-"

…

Confusion, that's the first thing that runs through my mind when I open my eyes. It's dark and I'm flat on my back, my neck, chest and eyes still burn but the rest of me feels fine. I sit up and try to let my eyes adjust but it's all still black, pitch black.

"Hello?" No answer. Slowly I sit up and hold my arms out to make sure I don't bump anything. When my arms hit nothing but air, I slowly get to my feet,

"Is there anyone in here?" Nothing, "No one can turn on the light...No? Perfect." I shuffle my feet around until I pick a general direction that I hope it leads to a door. My feet never really leave the floor and I wave my arms around frantically. I'm sure if someone could see me I'd look like a maniac, but I'm trying to find a light switch or dangling chain. The toe of my converse hits something hard causing me to lose my balance and the ground rushes up sending loud banging sound around me,

"Hey!" A voice shouts and a white light is shone in my face, "Are you aware that you're on private property and therefor you're currently trespassing?" What?

"No?" How is a curb in the suburbs of New York private property. I hear the pull of a chain and the pitch black becomes illuminated. I look around at what looks like a wood shed. Saw dust covers the floor and the thing I tripped over are actually wood planks.

"Okay kid how did you get in here?" The man clicks his flashlight off and steps closer to me. He's tall with curly brown hair and a matching mustache. His dark eyes peer down at me and I take a second to look at his clothing. Black slacks with a navy jacket and some sort of pin on a pocket...shoot he's a police officer. His eyebrows furrow,

"Are you okay?"

"Ummm yay." I'm trying to read his badge but my eyes aren't working, blurriness and a pink tint cover everything like a rose colored blanket. I blink the fuzziness away but the pink remains.

"Is someone chasing you kid, are you hiding?" I look down and swallow,

"Umm no?" I get on my knees "Where are we?" This alert his attention because he bends down and places his hands on his knees,

"Have you been drinking tonight?"

"What! No I-"

"Taken any drugs?"

"No I-"

"Care to explain how you got in a locked abandoned saw mill?" Yes one minute I was sitting on the side of the street and when I opened my eyes I was here.

"ummmmm...I plead the fifth." The man nods,

"I bet you do, come on." He gets to his feet and holds out his hand,

"Where are we going?"

"The station and don't run." I stare at his hand

"Why"

"Well for one thing I don't feel like chasing you and another thing is when I catch you which I will catch you, you will be in even more trouble than you're in now in now." I sigh, I really don't feel like running,

"Mare." I grab his hand letting him haul me to my feet.

"Chief Swan, once we're on better terms you can call me Charlie