semicolon

I love it! My only issue is the lack of grammaticality correct punctuation. I'd suggest using commas more often, and when appropriate, use a semicolon.

Your early chapters are strong and well written. Around chapter 50 you start HEAVILY using AI. Note for when you're generating, no human being on the face of the earth uses a semicolon in a sentence. Also, whenever I see the format of "he's not just ___; he's ___" I roll my eyes. It's an extremely common AI tell. In the AI heavy chapters you do it like 3 times a chapter minimum with not so subtle variations, and it just screams AI slop. The early chapters the chat had magic to it, but since you turned those over to AI it's nothing of interest or substance, and I just skip over it. I'd recommend instead of just copy pasting, you transcribe in order to make it sound human. If you ever get a robotic feel to the writing you can give it some human flare. I get that it's more work, but the quality would shoot up. I like your story. I'm currently listening to a song called BAILA MEJOR by bxkq. It's good, you should check it out

I really really want to like this story and as of now I'm holding out hope that it'll improve. But at the moment there are a lot of cons that are holding it back. The best thing about this novel is the premise and the overall plot concept. I also disagree strongly with the reviews that call the ML boring. In my opinion he's a breath of fresh air after all the black belly cold Mary Sue male leads in other novels. The ml here came from a peasant family and rose to a low rank general so he isn't refined or well-educated like an aristocrat would be. In fact he barely knows how to read. However he's honest, earnest, and a genuinely good man who sympathized with and treated the female lead well even in her first life when she used and betrayed him. So I was really excited about the idea of a reincarnated scheming and cunning female lead using her wits to protect her precious cinnamon roll husband. Unfortunately leave only had one seen together in the novel so far before they were separated when the ml goes off to war. In addition the female lead has only used her wits and cunning and knowledge from a first life once and otherwise hasn't done anything notable so it's been a bit of a disappointment thus far. The translation in the earlier chapters was also not great semicolon there were a lot of grammatical mistakes syntax errors and misuse of gender pronouns that made the story hard to read and understand. However the translation does improve a great deal in the most recent chapters so kudos to the translator 4 that.

I know that this is clearly ai writing style but I do like the bones. If you know how to story structure you can make this fic really nice. Also use a prompt to avoid the weird repetitiveness ai writing has (like saying or this. Or that. Or something. Way too much.) This can help with writing style in prompt. FOLLOW THIS WRITING STYLE: • SHOULD use clear, simple language. • SHOULD be spartan and informative. • SHOULD use short, impactful sentences. • SHOULD use active voice; avoid passive voice. • SHOULD focus on practical, actionable insights. • SHOULD use bullet point lists in social media posts. • SHOULD use data and examples to support claims when possible. • SHOULD use “you” and “your” to directly address the reader. • AVOID using em dashes (—) anywhere in your response. Use only commas, periods, or other standard punctuation. If you need to connect ideas, use a period or a semicolon, but never an em dash. • AVOID constructions like "...not just this, but also this". • AVOID metaphors and clichés. • AVOID generalizations. • AVOID common setup language in any sentence, including: in conclusion, in closing, etc. • AVOID output warnings or notes, just the output requested. • AVOID unnecessary adjectives and adverbs. • AVOID hashtags. • AVOID semicolons. • AVOID markdown. • AVOID asterisks. • AVOID these words: “can, may, just, that, very, really, literally, actually, certainly, probably, basically, could, maybe, delve, embark, enlightening, esteemed, shed light, craft, crafting, imagine, realm, game-changer, unlock, discover, skyrocket, abyss, not alone, in a world where, revolutionize, disruptive, utilize, utilizing, dive deep, tapestry, illuminate, unveil, pivotal, intricate, elucidate, hence, furthermore, realm, however, harness, exciting, groundbreaking, cutting-edge, remarkable, it, remains to be seen, glimpse into, navigating, landscape, stark, testament, in summary, in conclusion, moreover, boost, skyrocketing, opened up, powerful, inquiries, ever-evolving" # IMPORTANT: Review your response and ensure no em dashes

Hello! Here to give my honest thoughts! Writing Quality : Above average. I was actually pleasantly surprised when I started reading. You have great usage of words, vocabulary, and grammar. I'm so used to reading half-baked grammar on webnovel that I got used to it. Especially when it came to first person. I hate reading first person, but yours wasn't difficult to get past at all. So writing was a breath of fresh air. That being said, my biggest problem is also the way you write the story. lol. I think you focus too much on building long paragraphs that you don't realize a clogging of long paragraphs together loses the impact of certain sentences and tires readers. Also, its best to separate paragraphs when the focus of it is two different people for better differentiation between the two. At one point I just got tired of reading because the long paragraphs were straining my eyes. If you want to put emphasis on certain situations, doing one liners, or shorter paragraphs helps a lot. For example, your first and second paragraph in chapter 1. The first paragraph has two different people being the focus, mainly the announcer and the ML. The second has a name, or sentence, you would like to put more impact on. This is how it would look if according to what I explained. :) "Carnal Nago! Come up on the stage!" A booming voice echoed through the grand hallway. I sighed. Why did they always give a grand party like this one whenever people went for their Marking? I adjusted my long coat and brushed my hair aside as I made my way over to the big stage in the middle of the hall. The marking ceremony. I’ve read about this event during the past years. But I never imagined they’d invite every single high official of the city to come and take a look at what marking would be linked to the soul of this year’s youth! Not that everyone got a Marking. :) So I separated the announcer and ML. It becomes less confusing. I also put an emphasis on the Ceremony and the last bit about not everyone getting a marking. It feels like it has more impact and not getting a marking is actually a serious thing. Unless its an explanation about something, you don't have to mind about making short sentences or paragraphs. Short sentences actually stick easier in someone's mind and leave a lasting effect. Most readers forget half of a sentence when it reaches over 10-15 words. Okay that was a long explanation. Next is your usage of the colon (:) Theres too much of them, and most of the time, they are unneeded. And other times, it is mistaken for the semicolon (;) instead. I explain below. For Colon (:)- He had to take four subjects: politics, science, magic, and pole dancing. For Semicolon (:)- taken from the novel The room behind the door was still the same; messy and disorganized. I don't know if you can see the difference, but it's there. haha. Stability of Updates : Dunno, but I'll take your word for it. Excellent Hope you keep it up! I can't cuz I have work irl. Story Development: Inconclusive This is hard to judge. The story is written quite well but there is something that is bothering me. I think it is because all chapters are just the continuation of each other. I think it would feel smoother if you cut the scenes, not just continuously write A to Z. Some things are unneeded and can be left out from the chapter in general. Like class time, or going to lunch or maybe even school in general. But there has been story progression going on to show the creature's abilities so I can't really tell you to cut scenes when something important actually happens in it. So I will leave this to you. It could be a personal preference but I do think it contributes to me getting tired of reading it. Long paragraphs/sentences while reading what the kid does the moment he wakes till the moment he goes to still does get pretty boring. Also, I think it is because it's first person view that it becomes limited to just the main character. We don't get to see other characters or know what they're thinking unless Carnal just happens to be there or is Telepathic. Character Design : Above average/Great Not bad at all. I'm enjoying the diversity and how you don't keep to the cutesy side of things. Really, a squid girl?? I love it!! World Background : Excellent! Keep up the good work! Can't wait to see where you go with it! The imagination you have is commendable and it really shows in the story. Hope you get better at capturing your readers into the world you created <3 Sorry for the long review! Your Snowflake, Azzack