sukhoi fencer

wow, imagine what they see a lengthened spine what the heck cool characters loving the fencer she is 🔥 reminding me of ✨

What a curious story, but you'll probably drop it after 10 chapters and leave us in suspense :( , but let me tell you, I'm looking forward to reading this story. I'll give you some suggestions. —First, the powers: they're fine, but I recommend changing a few things, for example, not having the protagonist have cursed energy, since this energy doesn't exist in Teyvat and it takes away from the story's credibility. The protagonist would have cursed energy, yes. Well, you might wonder how Mahoraga's adaptation would work if Llano had cursed energy. Well, I'll leave that option. —At the beginning, the adaptation would work with the user's (protagonist's) own energy, which is physiological and mental energy. Why, when he reaches Teyvat, he wouldn't have any viable energy source? So, he would use the adaptation at a certain point that his body could handle, since the protagonist doesn't have a fixed energy supply at the beginning, to strengthen his body and use the adaptation continuously. By the way, what do you think? If, later on, the protagonist develops the ability to sense the feelings of humans and other living beings, this will help them understand, and in addition to feeling compassion for, the hilichurls, who are already constantly suffering, thanks to the curse cast by Ronova. So, when the protagonist awakens in Teyvat, they will have to survive with their own strength and determination to overcome the challenge of being sent to the hostile world of Teyvat. By the way, I suggest that they not have knowledge of their Mahoraga adaptation powers, as it is better for the protagonist to discover and experiment with their power; this alone would add more intrigue to the story. Note 1: Considering that Mahoraga's abilities are impressive, I propose that over time the main character improve their abilities, such as saving adaptations, increasing adaptation speed, using more than one adaptation simultaneously, and that this allows the main character to have long-term memory and photographic memory, which is essential in their journey through Teyvat. (These Lastly, long-term memory and photographic memory, you can give them at the beginning of the story or mention that they are from his past life before being reincarnated in Teyvat, since these qualities will be useful with the power of Mahoraga and if the guy is gifted both in his first life and his second (ha, ha, ha) Note 2: Later on, I'll tell you what the best replacement for the cursed energy would be, and also his appearance. Second: In itself, it's fine for the protagonist to be from another world, I like it, but what I don't like is that he has knowledge of the world where he reincarnated, since in my opinion, the protagonist focuses more on the events that will happen and this causes both the story and the protagonist to become predictable or boring. This causes the author, that is, you, to have a writing disorder that will cause the story to stagnate or for some chapters to become repetitive. So I suggest this: that the protagonist have dreams or visions that will show him the most important events that have happened. past or what happened in teyvat, such as the fall of Khaenri'ah or the arrival of the traveler, but I must warn you that having these types of dreams or visions may manifest when I'm sleeping or having a conflict that provokes intense emotions. Another point is who to send to teyvat because a soccer player, I don't think I know what's appropriate, and death by car is already overused. We have to give creativity to his death, so you can weigh in on these options. Number 1: An artist of exotic landscapes. Think about it, a young 28-year-old painter who has the spark to paint the beautiful landscapes of nature, is crushed to death by a large giant rock that fell from a nearby mountain. Number 2: A young 26-year-old professional fencer was murdered by someone who killed him while he was training. The cause of his death was asphyxiation. The assassin was hired by the organizers of the Olympic Games because he didn't accept a deal to lose his next match. Match. What do you think? Will he have the determination to become the greatest swordsman Teyvat has ever seen? Number 3: 25-year-old mountaineering instructor: death from a steep fall, saves a panicked client. Number 4: 24-year-old young climber, house of death, wolf attack in Alaska. Numbers 3 and 4 are the same; he likes being in exotic places like mountains and forests; he has the spark of an explorer. My note: Numbers 1 and 2 have no family, they are orphans; family killed in a car crash. 3 and 4 do have families, but they are not married, and if they have a girlfriend, ha ha ha. —Third, I don't know what point in the story you're currently at, since you only have one chapter, but I recommend that your protagonist be from the same time period as Ajax (Tartaglia or Nobile), in other words, the same age. —Fourth, the protagonist's body: I think it's just like that; it's not exciting. It would be better if he were reincarnated in the body of a child who died due to an accident or other reasons, along with the child's family (parents and siblings). You might wonder how the family and the child the protagonist inhabited died. I have three possible options. —First: a hilichurl attack. Although it's not shown in the game, hilichurls kill people in Teyvat. —Second: an assault by bandits (treasure hunters or treasure thieves). —Third: an attack by a pack of Stalking Hounds. Note: I suggest the protagonist be reincarnated in the body of a 10-year-old boy. You might be wondering why 10 years. This will give you time to develop your protagonist for 3 years in the forest. Later, I'll tell you why you should have the protagonist spend 3 years in the forest. He'll be able to discover his powers. Fifth, the appearance of the protagonist's body: I'll be honest, I don't really care about his appearance, but you gave him a notable appearance, like the bandages and the wheel. Take that out and give him a slightly unusual appearance. Norman, for example, has hair as black as obsidian, skin as light as milk, eyes as deep blue as opal, and a face like a typical child, or simply like Ajax (Tartaglia) when he was a child. If you don't know what Tartaglia looked like as a child, look it up. I don't want to post pictures; I'm too lazy. Another thing, the wheel and the sword. The wheel can make her invisible at the beginning of the story, only until she begins her training outside of the voice. Also, only certain people, such as those with visions or strong people, can see the wheel. In other words, people without powers won't be able to see the wheel. And the sword that appears in her training outside the forest. I'll tell you later who the protagonist's teacher will be. Sixth, the protagonist must appear in Snezhnaya, and you might wonder why. Snezhnaya is the most suitable place for her to appear because the environment is hostile, plus it's cold, and this is the only region that isn't currently available. So, you could improvise and write as you wish. And if that's not enough, Hoyoverse just released a video recently where we were introduced to the shadows of fanes and a bit of Snezhnaya. By the way, Ronova looks great, ha ha ha. But back to the topic of the protagonist spending three years in a forest, and from time to time, he must visit villages or places where there are people. If you're wondering how he'll survive, the protagonist will have to hunt boars and squirrels, gather food, and fish in the ice, and he must incubate by stealing food from hilichurls (there are also wolves and bears, but they're not seen in the game). After that, three years of discovery, comes the entanglement where the protagonist will fall into a crevice of the abyss where he will face the monsters or creatures that inhabit the abyss. Seventh, power, mastery, training: The protagonist would fall into a crevice of the abyss by accident, as it suddenly appeared while exploring a cave, or if you prefer, it would only appear under the protagonist's feet as he took the path back to his shelter. Well, after the protagonist falls into the abyss, upon entering the abyss, the protagonist feels the corrupted power of the abyss enter his body, and he feels immense pain throughout his body. The sensation will be as if he were being burned. If he had no other choice, the protagonist would no longer have to continue walking in the hope of finding a way out. After a while, the protagonist would begin to feel immense pain, as his physiological energy reserve would be rapidly depleting due to his adaptation being preoccupied with solving the problem of the abyss's energy attacking the protagonist's body. Upon returning, in addition to the pain, he began to feel tired and wanted to sleep. But suddenly, he would see a cave not far from his position, so he would begin to walk towards the cave, feeling heavy with each step. Unbeknownst to him, a mysterious figure had been watching him since he arrived at the abyss. The protagonist arrived at the small cave, and immediately his flat body gave out, and he began to sleep while his adaptation made the final touches to his sub-body so he could float into the abyss. Note: You might wonder why the abyss affected the protagonist so much. It was because the adaptation was trying to find a better way to handle the power of the abyss. In short, his power consumed a lot of physiological energy, causing a state of weakness that the power of the abyss hit the protagonist even harder. But in the end, the adaptation achieved something essential, and that was harnessing the power of the Abyss. The adaptation found a way for the protagonist to acquire the power of the Abyss. In essence, the adaptation managed to establish a connection with the Abyss. However, in the end, the adaptation managed to make the protagonist's body more like a water purifier. Water is the power of the Abyss, and the purifier is the main character. Now, he can use that power to his advantage. When the protagonist wakes up, he will feel refreshed, full of energy as if he could complete a marathon. Note: The protagonist already knows what his powers do, since he learned how to work during the three years he spent in the woods. Then the protagonist began to walk and experiment at the same time, because with an infinite supply of energy, he was thinking about how to make the most of this power. But let's focus our attention on what really matters. After a while, the protagonist began to wonder if the chasm was part of Snezhnaya or if the new portal had taken him to another part of Teyvat. (The protagonist knows the name of the world and some nations because he found geographical books in hilichurl camps.) However, suddenly, three houndhound pups appeared and attacked the protagonist. He was undeterred and bravely charged at his three enemies. The battle was intense, but he emerged victorious, although he suffered a lot of damage. Fortunately, his regeneration helped him regain his body. Note: He has a sword he found in the forest. Just when he thought everything was calm, a large, terrifying hound appeared. Faced with the beast in front of him, our protagonist decided to do the most logical thing: he ran away. But the monster wouldn't let him escape. The hound stood in his way, so he decided to confront the beast. The battle was fierce, but unfortunately, our warrior couldn't keep up a good pace because he was tired from his previous fight, and his trusty sword broke after an attack from the hound. With no other options, he began to fight with his fists. The fight was intense and continuous, but at a key moment, the hound lunged at him with its mouth open. What the hound didn't expect was that our protagonist would grab its jaw with great force and, with a single movement, push it away from him. Then, he launched himself at the hound's neck, grabbing it with such force that he broke its neck. Notes: Although the protagonist has a constant supply of Abyss Power, he can't use it continuously, as his body can't continue to use it. It fatigues, rather like a feeling of numbness in his muscles. But the adaptation pushes the muscles to their limits, causing them to overexert themselves. It's as if they were exercising nonstop, while the muscles constantly regenerate until they reach their peak, to the point where they collapse from overexertion. When he finished with the hound, without an uncle, a numbness spread throughout his body, and his eyes were tired and his vision slowly blurred. He closed his eyes and gave in to sleep, but the only thing he saw before falling asleep was a white-haired figure. Later, our protagonist would wake up in a bundle of straw, with a campfire nearby. Upon observing his surroundings, he stood up, his guard up. Later, I heard the soft but cold voice of a young woman dressed in white, with a supernatural beauty, with eyes of reddish and pinkish hues, or rather, a dull fuchsia hue. She also had white hair with some hints of purple. But the strangest thing were her arms and legs, which seemed to be made of stars. Then she spoke and said, "You will be my disciple." Note: I don't really intend to write more, as I feel tired. However, if it's Skirk, I couldn't find a more suitable teacher for the protagonist. Skirk is an exceptionally skilled swordsman and possesses excellent discipline. You might wonder why Skirk considers the protagonist as her disciple or student, given that she realized the protagonist's enormous potential. Besides, there's no reason to worry, given that the protagonist has no family. And Skirk will put the protagonist through hellish training, as he will discover that he can regenerate until his body can no longer hold out. I recommend that his training last six years so that when he emerges from the abyss, he will be 18 years old. Seventh: Cause and Effects in the World of Teyvat. This part is the most complicated, as there are always cause and effects that drive the protagonist's existence in Teyvat. For example, the Time Shadow Astaroth, who could notice changes in the Teyvat timeline due to the protagonist's intervention. And possibly the Life Shadow Naberias, a soul that shouldn't be in the World of Teyvat. Eighth: The Protagonist's Purpose. In itself, there can be several: exploring or living a quiet life. But let's be realistic, as things can affect you throughout this text: the protagonist has few options, or it's up to you, but let them give you those options. First, be a hero who explores the world and tries to help as much as possible to help those in need and bring balance to the World of Teyvat. Note: maybe this is the way don, the protagonist will have to try harder to save those in need, such as the hilichurls who are innocent people who were cursed with immortality, in addition to being condemned to become monsters that behave like animals, but returning to what is important in this path the protagonist will have to learn the truth and the origins of the world of teyvat about the powers that dominated in teyvat before the celestial principles appeared in addition to the events that were crucial, but leaving this aside the protagonist will not be the order of the abyss and the twin who leads it (I recommend that it be Lumine) the protagonist would meet them by chance when exploring some ruins, there was a battle but in the end the prota would win, but des, then meeting Lumine and asking him certain questions about teyvat and the hilichurls how they ended that curse and who were responsible for cursing those people. But the protagonist himself won't be on the side of the Abyss Order, but will follow his own. However, he will have allies like the Archons and the traveler Aether and Paimon, in addition to all those he meets while exploring each nation or place in Teyvat to save the innocent and bring about a new era of peace. (But on this path, the protagonist doesn't kill, but prefers to defeat his enemies and give them the opportunity to surrender.) In short, he is peaceful. Second, the anti-hero who does what is necessary to protect the world with unethical methods from the threats in Teyvat, such as the Abyss Order and the Celestial Principles. On this path, the protagonist believes the inhabitants are chained to the whim of the gods and will seek a way to free humanity and those she holds dear from the chains of the Celestial Principles. Note: This path is more of a lone wolf path, where the protagonist will readily sacrifice a life to save millions of lives and kill anyone who stands in their way. In essence, the protagonist would have one entity or alias they would use to achieve their goals in the darkness, and the other would be close to the main cast to stay informed of every action they're planning to obtain an advantageous potion. In short, the protagonist would be somewhat manipulative, as in this option, I recommend that their alias be close to the Order of the Abyss to gain an advantage over their opponents. Third, create a new world, and whether this would involve becoming a villain or a revolutionary who will see how bad the world of Teyvat is and the people who inhabit it. They would have to defy all the archons, the Order of the Abyss, and the celestial principles in order to create a new world where everyone can live in peace. Note: I consider this to be the bloodiest path, since the protagonist will have to eliminate all the relevant characters in Teyvat, and with his power, I have no doubt he could do it. Adapting and using the power of the abyss could strengthen his body to a level similar to Fanes's, or even ascend and become a god of the abyss, like the knight in the Hollow Knight game who ascended and became the god of the void. This could become the protagonist. If you don't know it, look up "Hollow Knight: The Knight Becomes the God of the Void" and you'll see what I mean. And well, that would be all from me. I'm not a writer, but that's all I had to get off my chest. What I'm sending you isn't meant to be the same as what I wrote, but so you can write something similar or better. But, well, it's your decision. By the way, change the COVER image, as it makes it somewhat predictable. So, change the images for each key moment of the protagonist's life in Teyvat.