funny self quotes

Rich Daughter Reincarnates as Her Eighteen-Year-Old Self to Rescue Her Younger Brothers!

"I've destroyed your face. Let's see how you'll seduce men now!" "I want to pluck all your hair too. Let's see how you'll seduce other married men!" The woman screamed while she cut off Mei Shu's hair. She then directly stabbed the scissors into her head and put an end to her pitiful life. Mei Shu had already been bedridden for over ten years. Her face was practically unrecognizable. Her four younger brothers were either injured, crippled, sick, or barely alive. This was all thanks to the woman next to her bed. Many years ago, Mei Shu's mother died in a car accident. Not long after that, her stepmother moved in with her stepsister, Mei Mu. Mei Shu's stepmother found a way to send Mei Shu to the countryside. After that, Mei Shu's stepmother and stepsister slowly took over all the Mei family's possessions. When Mei Shu was about to turn eighteen, they brought her home. The only reason they did that was to acquire the inheritance her mother left behind. After that, they kept plotting and scheming against her. They sowed discord between Mei Shu and her four younger brothers. Until the day Mei Shu died in the hospital, her brothers still had no idea she wasn't the one who started the fire that ruined their lives. After dying, Mei Shu refused to move on. She reincarnated to the time she was seventeen with her own system. She wanted to change her fate and rescue her brothers! In their previous lifetime, she and her brothers treated each other like enemies. In this lifetime... "Mei Shu, I'll do anything you tell me to," her first brother said. "Who dares to bully my sister?" Her second brother asked. "Mei Shu belongs to me!" Her third brother exclaimed. "Do you wish to marry my sister? Let's see if you have what it takes!" Her fourth brother uttered. [System: Quest completed! You'll be rewarded with a husband!"

Mountain Springs · Urban

Exorcist's Self-Cultivation

"Thanks for the invite, I'm in New York, just got off the plane." Du Wei realized he had traveled through time. Having no choice, he had to resume his old trade and opened a psychological consultation clinic, but the patients seeking psychological advice were all a bit strange... Note: This book is set in the Soul Summoning Universe.

Blessed · Horror

I Received Messages From Future Self!

"Hot Noodles request to add you as a friend." An inexplicable friend request, a non-existent contact. Claiming to be a message from herself in the future, intimately knowledgeable about her past. Fang Xiaocao was utterly numb. Hot Noodles: Danger, do not go home tonight. "Is this some kind of joke?" Staring at the WeChat message, Fang Xiaocao rolled her eyes and opened the anti-theft door. Hot Noodles: At midnight, when the knocking starts, don't turn on the light if you don't want to die. In the early morning: 00:00:00 Fang Xiaocao was woken by the knocking sound. She was just about to turn on the bedside lamp when she remembered that bizarre message. She pulled back her hand and stayed put until dawn, only to know her neighbor next door, a woman living alone just like her was murdered at midnight... Fang Xiaocao was suddenly covered in a cold sweat. Hot Noodles: To celebrate our narrow escape from death, go to the flea market before three in the afternoon, stall number 7, and buy the seventh inkstone on the left-hand side. The seller's bottom price is 80, but the inkstone is worth 8 million. After last night's ordeal, Fang Xiaocao inexplicably chose to believe. She successfully bought an inkstone for a hundred dollars, and later discover it was indeed a imperial inkstone from the Qing Qianlong era, worthing 8 million! Fang Xiaocao stood there, dumbfounded! Following the message's instructions, she bought a second-hand car. But little did she know, the guidance was linking her into a series of events that dragged out a murder case and a fortune worth two small goals. Who on earth sent her the messages? It's really her future self? Or it's some kind of bizarre game?

Your fatty · Urban

FUNNY STORIES UNLIMITED

This novel is an "always-ongoing" novel containing a compilation of fictional funny stories. New fictional funny stories will be added to new chapters in this book over time.

DCreativeApkDev · Fantasy

Funny Chats

This novel contains a compilation on funny chats to entertain all of you. One chapter refers to one chat.

dtjiappdev1999 · Fantasy

Related Reviews

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KnB FanFic: Rise(On Hiatus)

LazyTanaka · Anime & Comics

46 Chs

Kazmicink

2021-06-01

Omg I love the quotes and I love how its a Like a self-reflective memoir of the author’s life. Is it?! There is so much in the novel that resonates with me. Like, Family for sure, you got to take the good and the bad. ❤️

Survival Journey

foxyash · Urban

59 Chs

Luckyboy13

2018-05-03

It's really a good read. Simple and funny yet with nice quotes n stuff integrated so naturally. I was laughing so hard while reading this book. Really wished it to be completed.

I’m Really a Superstar

Chang Yu · Urban

1696 Chs

Shalan1000

2019-10-20

To me its a story filled with comedy and a tint of Yandere and more like the MC is likable and funny even with his funny quotes and he seemed to be like the plot armour and also he seemed pretty high spec and so on Btw I really want it to update PLS UPDATE!!!!

My female disciples are scary

feeling_tired · Eastern

23 Chs

Sanyaw2012

2019-07-07

We’ve compiled the largest list of funny quotes to make you laugh out loud. And laughter truly is the best medicine for your soul. Not only does laughter reduce stress, it lowers your blood pressure, gives you an excellent ab workout, and releases endorphins.

Rebirth to a Military Marriage: Good Morning Chief

Scarlet Phoenix · Urban

2541 Chs

The crown princess wants to descend to the mortal world every day

[1v1 Shuang Jie] The little phoenix of the immortal realm had descended! All the immortals came to investigate. "I heard that Your Highness is going to descend to the mortal world to experience the tribulations, so Your Highness wants to go to the mortal world to play for a while," said the little princess's personal fairy with a smile. The immortals were shocked. What if they hurt the little prince in the mortal world? However, he had already left. They could only pray for his safe return, completely ignoring the Crown Prince who had descended to the mortal world to experience the tribulation. Several years later. I heard that the Little Royal Highness Feng has descended to the mortal world to undergo his tribulation? The immortals gathered again. The little handmaiden was still smiling." Everyone, there's no need to be anxious. The Crown Prince is worried that the little prince will go alone. He has already gone with him." Only then did everyone leave with a peace of mind… [Serious Version] In her first life, he was a little emperor who pretended to be a pig to eat a tiger, and she was a black-bellied and cunning prime minister. " Your Majesty," she said openly in the court," there's something I don't understand. May I ask…when will Your Majesty come to the Prime Minister's Mansion to propose marriage?" She cleared the Qing Dynasty for him, eliminating treacherous officials and killing them decisively; He dismissed the harem for her, and if she drank three thousand, she would only take a ladle. In her second life, he was the domineering and cold Great General of the State of Wei, and she was the most beautiful woman in the world. It was rumored that he was extremely handsome and did not get close to women, but he took off all his armor in front of her. It was rumored that she was cold and indifferent, peerless and beautiful, but she put on that beautiful red dress for him to marry. The two lifetimes were intertwined, going around in circles, just because of her words,"I…am happy with you." [Handsome and arrogant scheming prince x peerlessly beautiful and ignorant phoenix girl] [Ah Qing, there is a saying in the mortal world: " A day of husband and wife is a hundred days of kindness." We have been husband and wife for two lifetimes. How should we count it?]

blisse

· 8.3K Views

After breaking off the engagement, I was favored by the emperor and became the demon queen

She was the eldest daughter of the Medicine Order's Yan Family. She had been pampered since she was young and was kind-hearted. Unexpectedly, a calamity descended from the heavens and her family was destroyed. She was tortured to death. After a rebirth, she became the Eldest Miss of the West Lan Nation's Marquis of Rong 'an's estate. She swore that she would send all her enemies to hell. Hatred overwhelmed her rationality, and she became stubborn and cruel. Her hands were stained with blood…The old woman in the residence was disrespectful to her." Bury her!" Her fiancé betrayed her." Another day I want to bury him!" The aunt schemed." Bury her son!" An Emperor who was preparing to become a monk did not know that his life was already in the hands of others. Many years later, the Emperor was glad that he still had some looks. Otherwise, he would not have been able to return to the Palace alive. The Emperor thought that he was already violent and cruel enough, but he did not expect that the little woman he had accidentally provoked had a vicious look in her hair. He had provoked her, so he would spoil her. She wanted to investigate the Yan Clan's extermination case, and he handed over the Supreme Court and the Ministry of Justice. If she wanted to be pampered alone, he would leave the harem empty for her. She wanted to take the head of the Northern Yan Emperor, and he had mobilized the entire country's military forces to guard the border of the two countries to protect her...

Wuyue North

· 9.2K Views

After she was naked, she became Lord Fourth's palm.

Cheng Xiaoman dressed up as the historical Wu Gege who had no children and had the memories of her previous life. She had the obsession of others. In order to save her life, she could only cling to the Fourth Brother's thigh and tear the white lotus green tea with her hands, seeking a worry-free life. She had thought that the road ahead would be difficult, but who would have thought that things would be different? The cold and heartless Lord Fourth slept in her room every day, and all the concubines in the residence hated her and hated her, wishing they could tear her apart. She was so scared that she shrank her neck. Had she angered everyone? It was better for her to hide. What Fourth Master? Get lost wherever she wanted. Turning around, the usually reserved and cold Lord Fourth grabbed her collar and pulled her back into the room. He questioned with a dark expression," Where are you sending me?" " Don't be angry, Master." Wu Jingrui was all smiles." It's the truth to share the rain and dew equally." "My words are the truth." Yinzhen gritted his teeth. [Lord Fourth, who looks reserved and cold, but is actually full of drama on the inside, versus the bold, life-cherishing, and torturous female protagonist.]

Happy New Year

· 8.2K Views

An ordinary magician in the cultivation world

Mu Shiqi, who had no parents, was just an ordinary magic girl in the magic world. Although this magic girl was hunted by the Church of Light and the Church of Darkness after she picked up an ebony staff when she was 15 years old, and was ranked first on the wanted list of the black and white sides of the magic world three years later, but... Mu Shiqi had always believed that she was just an ordinary magical girl, and the pursuit was all Little Dough's fault. The ordinary ebony staff spirit ball expressed that it would not take the blame. It shook its head crazily and hid the suspicious blue bead that it had just pulled out from the corner of the Temple of Light. One man and one staff had stirred up the two major churches in the magic world. The Church Master of Light was so angry that he had to pull out his beard and the Church Master of Darkness had to turn white. Finally, he was blown up in an experiment of a new magic potion. The Church heaved a sigh of relief. The cultivation world had taken over this little witch. Let's see how a rising Phoenix Star would affect the structure of the cultivation world for ten thousand years! Crippled spirit root? It doesn't matter, I have the magic imprint; Sword control technique? I can fly on a broom; A formation genius? I'm sorry, where are you from? If you don't understand the Fanya language on the magic array, don't speak. Talisman Dao attainment? Although I didn't understand runes, I knew that every word in Fanya language contained magic power. I wondered if it could be used as runes. The above was the ebony staff spirit ball's vivid imitation of its owner's self-narration, and its owner, Mu Shiqi: I'm not, I'm not, I'm just an ordinary magical girl.

Gathering Energy

· 3.7K Views

The imperial concubine wants to climb the wall

The moment he opened his eyes, he had transmigrated to a different world, and he was lying in a mass grave with nothing on his body. It was so miserable! Her family had a white lotus sister who was biased towards her father. Her husband's family had unruly subordinates. The high and mighty white moonlight was jumping around one after another. When they saw her, they would step on her. What kind of trash were they? Shangguan Qian's hands were itching. She was a clean freak and had to clean up the rubbish when she saw it. As for that so-called husband? Sorry, a marriage without any emotional foundation is like a plate of loose sand. I won't serve you anymore!

Qingning rampaged around.

· 10.1K Views