third person omniscient narrator example

The only criticism I have is that the story is written a bit messily. For example, I do not understand who the narrator is. Is it first person? 3rd Person? Omniscient narrator? Observer? A person who’s part of the story? It’s hard to tell. The story is interesting though, we have an MC who has reached the top and now tries i think again, but with a different route. Keep it up!

Nice work. I enjoyed it. Good world building, character set up and other aspect. But you seem a bit confused are you using a first person narrator is a third person narrator?

its a good concept however the grammar is very lacking so I recommend using somthing like grammarly, also the way you narrate is kind of weird. You use first person (mc point of view) and third person (narrators point of view). I recommend you use more first person than third because that makes the reader feel more involved with the story. And when you write in third person dont write like you are the one who is speaking but a narrator who is in the universe and does not know about the fourth wall. For example dont say "the mc sat down" say "Lucas sat down"

It's not bad. My biggest problem with this novel is that the author is not using quotation marks or any indicator for when the MC or the narrator is speaking. The novel is basically switching between first and third person every other paragraph.

too much info dumping, too detailed descriptions, and the "pov" lacked individuality. i think the mc's personality bleed to other chara's "pov" making it seems more like an omniscient third person "pov" rather than individual.