appendices in a

I like this novel, Glimmy knows how to keep her readers in tenaion. but there is too much background-details. At some point it is so boring, i skip a lot of parts, even chapter, like those about the ball-game. Those chapters could be like some appendices in the book, when Glimmy is finished ofcourse! What I notice is that the chapters are not ling either! I really hope, that the money that we pay for this book, (most of it) is Glimmy who recieve it and not this app. Even if it’s nog the case, it feels like this nobel is milking me like a cow😅 I have the idea that this novel won’t be finished any time soon. Glimmy you want to have a book with 1000 chapters? 🫣

"The Hybrid Summoner" presents an intriguing premise with genuine potential; a hybrid vampire-werewolf summoner navigating a LitRPG world created by gods. The story has a solid foundation with engaging core concepts, including the unique racial hybrid system and the clever twist of a protagonist who cannot use traditional healing potions. However, the execution suffers from significant technical issues that undermine the reading experience. You have demonstrated enthusiasm and creative vision but needs substantial work on prose quality, pacing, character development, and technical editing. With dedicated revision, this could develop into an enjoyable entry in the LitRPG genre. Major Issues found and suggestions to fix them: 1. Weak Prose and Overuse of Telling vs. Showing Issue: The narrative relies heavily on exposition rather than immersive storytelling. Descriptions are often flat and tell the reader what to feel rather than creating atmosphere. Examples: "Cole was left there stunned after reading through the system notice" (telling) "It was strange for them, it wasn't a big town to start with but it felt... empty" "Cole was left there with a face that looked like a nuke just exploded in his head" Solution: Replace emotional declarations with physical reactions and internal thought Use sensory details (sights, sounds, smells) to create atmosphere Show character emotions through action, dialogue, and physical description Example revision: Instead of "Cole was stunned," try: "Cole's mouth went dry. His fingers trembled as he reread the system notice for the third time, hoping the words would rearrange themselves into something that made sense." 2. Inconsistent Detail and Pacing Issue: The story alternates between rushing through significant moments and lingering on unimportant details. Critical character introductions and world-building elements are often glossed over. Examples: Cole's relationship with his father is established but never developed The transition from Earth to Zaraka happens in a single paragraph The "Chosen Ten" concept is introduced in Chapter 19 with no prior foreshadowing The orphanage friends disappear after Chapter 3 with no resolution Solution: Create a pacing outline that balances action, character development, and world-building Establish character relationships through meaningful scenes and dialogue Introduce major plot elements with proper foreshadowing Follow through on character threads or provide closure 3. Over-Reliance on System Messages as a Narrative Crutch Issue: The story uses system notifications excessively as a substitute for organic storytelling. This breaks immersion and makes the narrative feel like a game walkthrough. Examples: Every stat change, skill unlock, and quest completion is documented in full Characters explain their abilities through system messages rather than discovering them Battle scenes become stat comparisons rather than visceral experiences Solution: Integrate system elements more naturally into the narrative Show skill development through practice and discovery Use system messages sparingly for truly significant moments Describe stat improvements through character experience (e.g., "Cole felt his limbs grow lighter, his movements more fluid" instead of "+2 AGI") Reserve full stat blocks for chapter breaks or appendices 4. Flat Dialogue and Character Voice Issue: All characters speak in similar patterns, lacking distinct voices or personality. Dialogue often serves purely as exposition delivery rather than character revelation. Examples: Elders Alaric, Salena, and Frowdren all speak formally and similarly Cole's dialogue lacks teenager voice or distinctive personality Characters constantly state the obvious or repeat information Solution: Give each character unique speech patterns, vocabulary, and mannerisms Show personality through dialogue rather than telling Use subtext—characters should rarely say exactly what they mean Consider age, background, and race when crafting character voices Example: A young vampire might be more arrogant and impulsive; an elder werewolf might be more measured and gruff 5. Grammar, Punctuation, and Formatting Errors Issue: Frequent grammatical errors, inconsistent capitalization, and formatting issues disrupt reading flow and professionalism. Examples: Inconsistent formatting of system messages Run-on sentences throughout the text Random capitalization ("System alart" should be "System Alert") Awkward sentence structures and tense shifts The repeated "My first attempt at writing, any feedback..." at the end of chapters appears twice per chapter (pages 8 and 11) Solution: Thorough proofreading and editing process Standardize system message formatting Run grammar check tools (Grammarly, ProWritingAid) Consider professional editing services Remove duplicate author notes 6. Characterization Issues Issue: Characters lack depth and motivation beyond basic survival. Cole, in particular, shows minimal emotional reaction to his transformation and the loss of his world. Examples: Cole's mother's death is mentioned but has no emotional weight His father disappears from the narrative despite being established as important Cole shows almost no grief or confusion about Earth's destruction Side characters (Kai, Buzz, Althea) are introduced but remain flat Solution: Give characters clear goals, fears, and flaws Show emotional development and reaction to trauma Connect Cole's backstory to his present motivations Develop supporting characters as individuals with their own arcs Establish stakes that matter to the protagonist beyond just "surviving" 7. Infodumping and Exposition Issue: Large blocks of exposition interrupt the narrative flow, particularly during the class/race selection and world-building sections. Examples: The entire class descriptions section in Chapter 3 is presented as a list The elders' explanation of Moonfang Hollow's history is a monologue System messages provide long blocks of explanatory text Solution: Drip-feed world-building through action and discovery Show class features through use rather than description Break exposition into smaller, more digestible pieces Use character conflict to reveal world information naturally 8. Plot Holes and Unanswered Questions Issue: Several plot elements are introduced and abandoned, creating confusion and reducing story coherence. Examples: What happened to the orphanage kids after Chapter 3? Why did Drusilla specifically want Cole to have the wolf and bat? The "Chosen Ten" is mentioned but unexplained Why is the village's training cave accessible to a brand-new arrival? How do the two races coexist after "constant fighting and bloodshed"? Solution: Track all plot threads and ensure resolution or ongoing development Show the consequences of earlier decisions Explain significant mysteries within a reasonable timeframe Establish consistent world rules Use the system to reveal information gradually Recommendations: First: Thorough grammar/formatting cleanup Second: Strengthen character voice and development Third: Convert "telling" to "showing" Fourth: Balance system message usage Fifth: Fill in plot holes and follow character threads Positive sides of your novel: 1. Unique Concept: The hybrid vampire-werewolf summoner is genuinely fresh 2. Creative System Mechanics: The blood-absorbing healing and hybrid restrictions show thoughtful design 3. Pacing of Growth: Cole's power progression feels earned 4. Arena Arc: The cage fighting sequence introduced interesting conflict 5. Mystery Elements: The "Chosen Ten" and hybrid prophecy add intrigue