the causes of the panic of

...You turn and see a man like no other, his black hair falls perfectly in place and his piercing blue eyes meet yours. Every muscle in his body sings in perfect harmony as he moves. ...He gives you a cocky smile and slowly removes his shirt. You knew that the man before you was well built but this is a ridiculously, breath-stealing, indefinable masterpiece sitting in front of you. You're trying to regain some sort of respectability around him but you can't control the flush shifting inside the very foundation of your being. You swallow visibly. He sees your blush shining like a beacon for all to see. His cocky smile returns on his face and he knows what he's doing to you... ....You open the door and the smell of the ocean fills your senses. You feel the wind through your hair and the unmistakable stickiness that comes with the sea air. You walk on the deck to the side of the ship. The moonlight is playing on the dark ocean in front of you. It's a warm summer night. You hear the waves crashing against the ship. You take a deep breath of the fresh ocean air. You stare at the ocean and an unfamiliar calmness comes over you. You feel for the first time that you have to be here, that this is where you belong. You've always wondered if you made the right choice and this feeling right here confirms what you've been thinking all this time. This is your home now....