Endless Pampering Only For You
As childhood sweethearts, they were made to engage under the manipulations of their families. It involved having to to live in the same room and sleep together.
One night, she is accidentally made drunk, and in his delirium, he kisses her only to realize he enjoys it. From time to time, he would sneak a kiss on her, but his “crime” is eventually discovered in an accident. After being accused by her, he says with a smile, “You are my wife, why can’t I kiss you?”
The two people’s daily routine is full of bickering and mutual discrediting of each other.
Although he claims to disparage, he actually cares intensely about her. He feels crazily jealous when she is close to other men, to the point of tying her to his side, so that she becomes exclusively his.
Tags: Campus Love, Childhood Sweethearts, Pampering Romance
Mo Xiaoshui · Teen
I think you're doing a good job with this fanfiction so far. Even though you're just starting out, I can see that you're working on the story's narrative and trying to add depth to the events. Also, even though I'm not familiar with jjk, I can see that you're trying hard to avoid making it an overpowered system story, and that's appreciated. That said, I've also noticed some things you should fix and improve. The most obvious is that you use too many short lines in the story. I understand that there are many breaks in a third-person narrative, but it feels like you could make it more compact so the chapters flow more smoothly and aren't so long. Besides that, it would also help to present the characters' dialogue better, because separating their dialogue, descriptions, and actions into different paragraphs makes it feel very artificial, and you don't see them as real people. Finally, you need to tweak a few grammatical points in the text (I've marked them for you). These are all the things I've noticed in your writing. I don't know if you're just writing for fun, but if you want to create a truly good story, please take my review into consideration and correct the things I've pointed out. You're still starting the writting, and I think you can do a great work. I'll finish by leaving you with this list of girls for the harem. ADD to the Harem: Adele, Ann, Ain, Alvida, Alpha, Aphelandra, Baby 5, Baccarat, Ban Dedessinée, Belo Betty, Black Maria, Boa Hancock, Bonney (Non-Canon), Camie, Carrot, Carmen, Carina, Charlotte Akimeg, Charlotte Allmeg, Charlotte Amande, Charlotte Angel, Charlotte Broye, Charlotte Cinnamon, Charlotte Custard, Charlotte Flampe, Charlotte Fuyumeg, Charlotte Galette, Charlotte Harumeg, Charlotte Joscarpone, Charlotte Marble, Charlotte Mozart, Charlotte Myukuru, Charlotte Nutmeg, Charlotte Poire, Charlotte Praline, Charlotte Prim, Charlotte Pudding, Charlotte Smoothie, Cho, Conis, Cosette, Daisy, Desire, Domino, Doll, Fillonce, Gina, Ginrummy, Guarana, Gunko, Helsing, Hibari, Hina, Hiramera, Honey Queen, Hototogisu, Ikkaku, Inazuma, Ishilly, Isuka, Jewelry Bonney, Jigoku Benten, Kairen, Kalifa, Kaya, Kikuhime, Kikyo, Kinderella, Kiwi, Koala, Kobato, Komane, Kozuki Hiyori, Kujaku, Laki, Lily Stomach, Lim, Love, Luca, Lulis, Makino, Margareth, Mero, Mikita, Milky, Misty, Monet, Moda, Momousagi Gion, Moodie, Mororon, Mozu, Nami, Nefertari Vivi, Nerine, Nico Robin, Nightin (Young), Nojiko, Pascia, Perona, Poppy, Porche, Ran, Rasa, Rebecca, Rindo, Ririka, Rosward Shalria, Sadi, Sarahebi, Seira, Shinobu (Slim) Shyarly, Solitaire, Sora (Mermaid), Stussy, Sukare Karehosui, Tashigi, Tenjo-Sagari, Tristan, Ulti, Uta, Vinsmoke Reiju, Viola, Wanda, Whitey Bay, Yadoya, Yamato, Zala....