piano notes for love story

I'm in love with this story concept right now. Just a few critiques. The first is pacing. Take a moment to take it all in. Not all the time just every once in awhile. The second is descriptions. Descriptions do the heavy lifting for a reader's imagination. For example: "Jason went to the piano in the room and sat down in front of it." (Entertainment Star: Ch.3) This line could have been used to draw out more information to the reader. "Jason briskly turned toward the well-used piano on the far side of the room and flung himself to the much newer seat, careful not to hit the instrument in his rush." Whilst this is not perfect (and it never will be), this just adds a little more personality to what is going on. In my example, Jason is in rushed excitement to get to the piano, but not enough to ram into the clearly well-loved item. The piano is well used but has not been replaced even though there is a new seat in front of it. This gives the piano some story and attachment to the last owner. It could be a masterwork piece from a famous piano maker or it could have been his mother's before; so it has sentimental worth. Basically, give me something to chew on. Other than that, I like where I see this going. Keep up the good work. [img=recommend]

Excellent. . The piano aspect is intriguing

This novel has superb writing quality, so superb that I, the reader, can imagine the scene vividly unlike other novel. It also has great character development. The only flaw is that the author failed to put the sudden change into consideration. The original Iris Long couldn't play piano nor speak english fluently so using logic, the body shouldn't be able to keep up with the new soul's ability in playing piano or speak british accent. At first, she should accustom the body to playing piano or speak english because the body's never been used to play piano or speak english prior to the change of the soul. In this novel, after the change of the soul, Iris Long is described as skillful in playing piano and speak english with british accent even when the body previously never been used to play piano or speak english fluently.

Ceritanya bagus alurnya nyambung dan juga penokohannya juga bagus pilihan ceritanya juga seperti lagu piano nya walaupun saya tidak bisa bermain piano tapi saya juga salah satu penggemar musik klasik puano