choices a high school story
Rule number one: "As a scholarship student, you should steer clear of the rich kids." Olive raised an eyebrow. "Why? Because of bullying?" she asked, playing dumb, though her mind flashed back to the scene she had witnessed earlier. "Exactly! You should avoid the school heir especially. Bullying's like a sport around here for guys like him. If you offend the wrong person, it won't end well. Trust me, if you want a peaceful year, just stay out of their way." _______ In a world where social hierarchy and family legacy reign supreme, Olivia Williams, a brilliant and determined student, disguises herself as a boy to attend the prestigious Belmont High School. She's won a coveted mathematics scholarship, but her triumph comes with a price: keeping her true identity hidden amidst the treacherous landscape of boarding school life. Enter George Lucas, the charismatic and arrogant heir to Belmont's legacy, who finds himself inexplicably drawn to "Olivia," the mysterious new student. As they engage in a fiery hate-to-love relationship, Olivia must navigate the complexities of her own feelings, the danger of discovery, and the class differences that threaten to tear them apart. As they delve deeper into their whirlwind romance, Olivia and George must confront the dark secrets of their own identities, the weight of family expectations, and the transformative power of love. But with great passion comes great risk: their relationship could upend George's family's reputation and legacy, forcing them to choose between love and loyalty. __________ Warning: Contains 18+ scenes at volume 2. And trust me, this isn't your regular type of highschool romance. Read it and you're sure going to love it.
Your story is good, but you seriously need to work on dialogue. It doesn’t sound like characters in Naruto speaking. It’s like how people in high school talk, the word choices, the way they express themselves feel all very wrong.