thought catalog funny sex stories

The witch thought I am a Demon God

This is a world ruled by law, where exotic objects from the heavens descend. The law of every individual, of every country, governs the workings of the world. When these laws collide, they birth— Darkness, war, witchcraft, flame, faith, heroes and evil, polities and churches, gods and deformities, fairytales and nightmares. Why can a flint elicit the loyalty of three massive hounds? How can a flame determine the rise and fall of a nation? Why can a mirror discern the good and evil within a person's heart? How can a farmer slay a dragon, and a destitute wanderer become a king in a single bound? Ivita came to this world, he has been here, he has travelled, he has conquered, and in the end, he will transform his thoughts and insights into a new Law to rule this vast land.

Orange Cat Dragon · Eastern

The prince longs for me every night after mastering thought-reading

(The main story has ended!! A 1v1, sweet and clean romance novel) Shen Chuwei suddenly travels back to ancient times to become a neglected concubine of the Crown Prince. She thought it was the beginning of a leisurely life of eating and drinking, but unexpectedly, she ends up being deeply pampered by the aloof Crown Prince. Lady Xu: "Shen Fengyi, you'd better know your place. Tonight is my turn to serve His Highness." Shen Chuwei says: "The Crown Prince is yours, I promise I'm just here to freeload." That night, Shen Chuwei was kept in the Crown Prince's room~ Lady Chang: "The Crown Princess is mine. You can't even dream of sharing her." Shen Chuwei replies: "I'm not interested." Later on, not only does Shen Chuwei become the Crown Princess, but she also gives birth to a pair of twins. The Emperor and Empress are in a scramble to pamper them, guaranteeing a smooth ride to victory. * All the women in the East Palace vie to become the Crown Princess through their cunning and devious methods, yet all of these are clearly seen by Xiao Jinyan, who has the ability to read minds, causing him to avoid them. That is, until he sees a small 'salted fish', sweet-talking and soft-bodied, just to his liking, "You will serve me tonight." As a freeloading 'salted fish', she trembles in fear: "Your Highness, I'm still too young."

Virgil's Yunsis · History

What to do if accidentally have sex with village belle while drunk

The abandoned infant Wang Xiaoshuai was adopted by the old rogue from a young age. When he grew up, he became the foremost villager of Wanmin Village, leading the villagers to wealth and prosperity, forging a legendary life!

Great Eagle Buddha · Urban

Football legend: Ronaldo thought I was going to assist him

Ronaldo: Kai, I thought you were here to assist me. Deng Kai: Initially, I indeed came to assist you. Ronaldo: Then why have I become the king of assists? Deng Kai: Because I've realized that I can Carry better than you! Don't be mad, being the king of assists isn't so bad. Everyone is now saying that you and Xixi are in a league of your own beneath me! Ronaldo: Pah! Messi: Smug face! Kaka: ??? Beckham: Watch my flying boot! Fat Ronaldo: I'll get your family some Golden Throat Lozenges! Ronaldinho: Let’s swing together! Zidane: Take this, my Iron Head Skill! Neymar: So what about us younger ones? Deng Kai: We're all kings of the ball, no need to be formal! Keep the music playing on the green field, keep dancing!

One plump peach · Sports

New Life As A Lewd Futanari Succubus (futa smut bdsm r18 sex story)

For more R-18 lewd and depravities check out my Patreon https://www.patreon.com/YuujiEveryleaf An old man dies, torn by regret. Due to his high karma, he has "near-limitless possibilities for reincarnation". He chooses to reincarnate in a fantasy world as a voluptuous futanari succubus with big tits and an irresistible smile. 1st place winner of ScribbleHub's Metus Writing Contest. Discussion and updates: https://discord.gg/SbZe2qv

YuujiEveryleaf · Fantasy

Related Reviews

Taro

2025-05-15

I just noticed that the writing catalog is full of NTR stories. Makes me hesitant of even reading 1 chapter.

World of Warcraft: Conquest of Arthas

WeakVisible · Video Games

238 Chs

Shadow_Doom

2026-01-10

one of the better stories I've read and I have been reading most of the catalog for game of thrones as of late

ASOIAF/GOT: She-Wolf’s Rebellion

HeatShock · Book&Literature

59 Chs

TheHiddenSword

2021-06-25

Amateurish writing after a big break. Feel free to give your thoughts on what could be improved! This is a story I had in mind after reading a lot of gamer stories and waifu catalog stories.

One Piece: Usurper

TheHiddenSword · Anime & Comics

16 Chs

ForgetfulWords

2020-04-04

This has been so funny! The main character is adorable and her interactions with the male lead and supporting cast are so sweet. Regarding the sex doll, the person who designed her thought the robot was a companion for the ML, so added in the sexual characteristics. However, ML had her made to be a nurse/companion for his grandfather. The main character is not treated as a sex doll.

Master, I Need Charging

Hua Hua Liao · Sci-fi

582 Chs

Kabuk5

2021-09-04

I find it funny that people reading about a Waifu Catalog story complain about the main character buying "Waifus" from different world, the whole idea is to mix-n-match! The only issues I have with the story is that the grammar is hit or miss, otherwise, an entertaining story.

How I Become a Flaming Turkey

Fangrove · Anime & Comics

147 Chs

The Daily Life of a Salted Fish Immortal Cultivator

This was a world led by cultivators. The status of cultivators was superior to that of mortals. However, it was unknown when it started, but the strong preyed on the weak in the cultivation world, and killing and stealing treasures became a common occurrence. People only saw the endless scenery on the Immortal Road, but they did not notice that the bones on the roadside had already piled up into mountains. Who told you that this is the daily life of a cultivator? Could it be that being like this all the time was right? Li Anran saw this clearly. After reaching the sixth level of Qi Refinement, he did not choose to live as an inner sect disciple with better treatment. Instead, he turned into an unpopular outer sect disciple and returned to this brightly lit mortal world. " Longevity is like floating clouds to me. I cultivate to protect those who can't cultivate, and even more so to protect my loved ones. So please remember, don't provoke me." Li Anran held the most advanced magical equipment in his hand and led a group of disciples to issue a warning to the entire cultivation world.

28 cents

· 1.6K Views

Yu-Gi-Oh World

A virtual Yu-Gi-Oh world with a different story. " Appear, Evil God's Source of Fear!" Youke looked at the evil god Mo Liang had summoned and fell into deep thought.

Snacks in the dark

· 2K Views

Elder Sister Farmer: I have one billion space resources.

The agriculture doctor had transmigrated. The house leaks, the thatched cottage has no parents! She also had three poor, sallow, and emaciated younger brothers. It was alright! He brought one billion resources with him and ate and drank. From then on. Cultivate wasteland, build factories, and drive the entire village to become rich! .. ... The entire state capital knew that whoever became the live-in son-in-law of the Jiang family would be able to live a good life and not have to worry for the rest of his life. However, the conditions were a little harsh. First, he had to be virtuous and dignified. Second, he had to be thrifty and manage the household. Everyone thought that the Jiang Family's daughter was going to be an old lady for the rest of her life. Unexpectedly, Jiang Yu was forced to take responsibility by the few people beside her.

Brother Huai

· 2.8K Views

He kicked the emperor

[All she wants is to be a career female lead x "love brain" male lead] When Wei Guan, the daughter of Marquis Ping's family, returned from the Xuanmen Sect in Yingzhou, she was conferred the title of Empress by the dog Emperor. On the night of the wedding, the dog Emperor chased her to the corner of the bed, telling her to stay away from me and not touch me. Wei Guan was sleeping soundly. She wasn't interested in him. ** A strange case happened in Chang 'an. Wei Guan fought with someone and his disguise was torn apart. The other party's face darkened and he gritted his teeth." You don't know me?" Wei Guan was baffled,"Should I know you?" How would I know that you're a dog emperor! The rumored dog emperor was as weak as a sick chicken, unlike him… ** Later on, Wei Guan's master left the mountain, and the dog Emperor followed her and unwillingly called her Martial Uncle. It turned out that the dog Emperor was from the same sect as her. They should be old acquaintances. No wonder she said she didn't know him. He wanted to eat her up! ** Qiu Jian: The Emperor hates the Empress? Wen Qin: No, the emperor is arrogant. Qiu Jian,"Why did the Emperor suddenly issue an edict to confer the title of Empress to the daughter of Cong Ping's fu?" Wen Qin said: I heard that from Ping Hou Guang, I know that the four seas have chosen a husband for Miss Wei. At this moment, the dog Emperor entered the room and asked,"Does the Empress like me?" Does the Empress like to see me in this dress? I won't be chased out if I go to the Empress tonight, right?

Xiaoyin Qingliu

· 7.9K Views

The mission system is a little naughty

He had been reborn back to the game " Myriad Worlds " before it was released. He had become a player and an NPC. However, just when Lin Qianjun thought that it was the old method of rebirth, he realized that his mission system seemed to be a little naughty. [Although he said that this sword had been smeared with poison, how could you believe such a simple lie?] No, I actually already believe it. [You decided to lick this sword with your tongue and use your courage to defeat his clumsy lie.] I don't have the courage, okay? [Go lick that sword!] Hehe, what a stupid quest system! [Go lick...] Get lost!

Gu Yi

· 4.8K Views